Sarging Log: Learning to become a Pick-up Artist

2007-01-07T10:28:00.000-06:00

Strange Dreams, Confidence, and PUA skills

The dream:
I had two strange dreams last night: both involved being chased. The more interesting one involved me in a theme park atmosphere. Somehow I missed the last tram out and I got stuck in this nightmare world. It a post apocalyptic world, not in terms of scenery but in that there was little order and every person had to fight for themselves. The station looked like a beat up train station, but the people inside, including me, were minature as chairs and other objects were gigantic. Certain people also had some super powers as we could jump large distances and some could fire energy bolts out of there hands.

At some point in the dream, my constant effort to evade danger is interrupted by a computer announcement. Four people, and I am one of them, are given some sort of substance to sell so that we can be offered a way out of this hell. I had befriended a female guard or soldier who helped me unload about half of the stuff. We're interrupted by attackers. She has to flee as she can't be seen involved with me, but she tells me that I just have to believe in the skills I have. I fight off this human attacker easily and I run. I run into someone that is guard like in powers. He can jump farther than humans. I see the right away. He fire some beach ball like projectile which I manage to repel. Then, he leaps and fires an energy bolt at me. I get really scared at this point as I'm afraid this is too much for me, but I concentrate on absorbing the bolt. Then, I wake up.

The Analysis: Believe in yourself:

The dream resembled the Matrix. You have super human bad guys and a hero that has special powers but lacks confidence. The dream also resembles my life. I don't have superpowers, but deep down, I believe I have certain skills that should allow me to enjoy at least some success in the fields that are currently important to me: work and sarging. I remember thinking as I woke up from the dream today that it is a shame when someone is given skills to succeed yet he avoids using them and instead lives in mediocrity because of fear and self doubt. This happens to many people in this world and I'm doing this now. I talk about this theme constantly in this blog, and I think the only thing I'm lacking is confidence. I've always had low self esteem and this problem has been the cause of my downfall.

I think back on my sarging experience before the break. Some of the stuff I did would seem like superpowers to the outside observer. Instead of viewing what I had accomplished, I always compared myself to the real PUA's. Now my skills were substantially inferior to theirs, but even when I hung out with some Community guys, they complimented my drive. In July, I really was opening sets like crazy. I'd get busted out and I keep on opening another set. It was like a lucid dream. I'd get shot down, and it was like the shots didn't effect me. Now, the source of this skill was that same doubt that paralyses me sometime. I know that I'm inadequate, and when I don't paralyze myself with that feeling, I instead fight to better myself.

At this point, I need to forget about what I'm lacking and just focus on what I have. When I read some of my previous blog entries, even I can't believe I was able to accomplish what I did. The same me that used to stand around with poor body language, nursing an drink, and completely uncomfortable talking to strangers was the same guy that open sets like a machine (to use one PUA's compliment to me). I was opening HB's and out of the corner of my eye, I'd see some AFC's looking at me in disbelief. I knew the look well. I used to give it to guys and I'd be wondering how they could possibly just go up to a hot girl and talk to her. More than that, since my skills were good, I was staying in set and the HB's, for a time, would look like they were really enjoying my company. I was the social butterfly, and the AFC's probably thought I was some PUA god.

I still see that some of those skills are still inside me. On Saturday, I went to the gym. This cute blond was there; she works every Saturday morning. I made some small talk with her when I walked in. As I worked out, I saw her walk by: now this didn't mean anything as part of her job is to clean the cardio marchines after someone uses them, but it did give me a chance to check her out. Now, she's like an HB7.5, but she's my favorite type. She's a cute blond with shoulder length hair and a thin body. I tell myself that I should just run some game on her for practice. I won't run serious game, but maybe I'll warm up some of my PUA skills so I'll be read to go do some real sarging in the near future. Besides, I'm betting that she has NEVER seen a glimpse or real PUA skills. Most girls haven't unless they are HB9's. Sure, they've gotten approached. Girls always get approached, but they only had AFC's come up with lame lines. They've had AFC's ask to buy them drinks or tell them that they are beautiful. They've never had a PUA come up and pull them into another world.

Again, I think about some of my past sarges. Near the end, I was getting to the kiss close point in like 10-20 minutes of conversation. Compared to the AFC, that's simply amazing. The AFC might not make a move on the first date (and that probably would be a real AFC date where he took her to dinner and then a movie). That's about 3-4 hours of time together. When I'm out sometimes, I'll see these guys on dates and their mistakes will be obvious. They are not close enough to their date, they aren't initiating any kino, and they are talking about lame shit like work. They aren't asking open ended questions and they most definitely are not stimulating their date's emotions. Now, I had my own mistakes, but I know that about 3-4 hours of time with a woman, I'll make a kiss close, and likely would be successful.

Analyzing my game:

I write this section as I'm trying to think about the aspects of my game that made it good. I try to portray myself as an adventurous guy. The stories I tell show that I'm a well traveled guy with a big imagination. After talking to countless women at the bars, I know that most of them live very dull lives. When my game is good, they see the contrast and are drawn to the adventure that I offer them. I also do patterning well. Now, I never memorized the Ross Jeffries stories. My tent opener started things off by getting my targets thinking about relationship type questions. When I'd give my thoughts on it, they'd see that I think about feeling "connections" and I think my descriptions helps them feel those very feelings. When you describe attraction or connections well, the person you're talking to is forced to remember the times when they have felt like that. When you draw up enough of those emotions, they begin to associate you with those feelings and you're in.

So basically, I just have to do these things, but to practice, I need to get out there. I think I'm going to watch the NFL playoff games today and then go hit the bookstore and Starbucks this evening for some quick practice.

2007-01-02T18:46:00.000-06:00

UFO sighted at O'hare in Nov:

The following contains no PUA related stuff.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-0701010141jan01,1,3957154.column?coll=chi-news-hed

I don't know how long that link will be active before the Chicago Tribune requires you to register before reading it. The article says that several United employees including one or more pilots saw a UFO hovering near the C termianl on November 7, 2006.

I've been watching UFO files and it's just amazing how many sighting there are out there. Many sightings have multiple seemingly credible witnesses. I also remember there was a program on one of the 3 big networks (ABC I believe) a bout UFO sightings that seemed credible and unable to be explained as being caused by natural phenomena or man made objects. There was on in South Eastern IL and one of the witnesses was/is a police officer.

Now, I realize that most people out there laugh at the notion and think wacko's believe in this stuff. I would tell those people that they need to open their mind. I recommend renting "Hyperspace" from Netflix. It is a two disc DVD series that explains some of the scientific theories of the universe. It has some good graphics to show how big the galaxy, not to mention the universe is. I remember learning in college that our galaxy has a hundred billion stars. There are hundreds of billions of galaxies in the universe. Think about how much we've advanced in say the last 50 years, in terms of technology, and just imagine how much one could advance if say they have a few million or billion year head start on us.

Another interesting quote I remember from the show was that a good way to picture how many stars there are in the universe is to imagine that each star is a grain of sand. The amount of stars in the universe would be enough sand grains to fill every beach in the world. On top of that, planets have been shown to exist around many other stars. I remember that in '96, that was a huge discovery as previously no one had ever proved other planets existed outside our solar system. I remember that scientists originally proved the existence of planets by observing the pull of these planets on the gravity of the stars that they orbit, but I believe the the Hubble Telescope has photographed some distant planets (I'm not 100% sure on the latter, so I'll have to google that sometime.)

I would say that only human ignorance, human arrogance, or religious indoctrination leads many to believe that earth is the only place in the universe where life exists. Heck, just a few weeks ago, I remember reading that there is new proof that water has existed on Mars, meaning that it's more possible that primitive life has or is as close as our nearest neighbor planet.

Later, I'll write upon some thoughts I have about what the possible or probably existence of extraterrestrial life means for us. Thinking about the possiblity makes me think about how far we have to go as a species. Of course, I mean that we are obviously far behind in technology is alien races have some way of traveling through the vastness of space. (BTW, even if light speed truly can't be broken, wormholes or warping space as supposed to be theoretically possible, so don't just dismiss the possibility outright.) I'm thinking more in terms of how primitive our species is in our social structures. I think about how we're motivated by greed, how we murder each other. How much of a better would Earth be if we focused our energy on working together. We could build better technology and solve some of the problems that face us.

I also wonder why the aliens wouldn't help us outright. Maybe they have some sort of prime directive similar to that we find in the Star Trek Universe. Maybe the aliens are curious about us but find us still too primitive to develop and outright relationship with. Maybe they are fascinated in observing a primitive society that many offers them a glimpse into their own distant past. I think what I wrote into the previous paragraph also fits here. Imagine what we'd do to each other if we had alien technology. If you gave a greedy human advanced weapons, what would be more likely to happen? Would that person work to reverse engineer the technology so we could develop useful, nondestructive technology, or would they use it to dominate the world and eliminate enemies. I bet more would do the later.

2007-01-01T05:55:00.000-06:00

New Years Eve Party Field Report

Now I've done some housekeeping and it's time to get to my report. I would have been embarrassed to post this report because this was a failure due to my own inaction. I have to restart somewhere so I feel like I can learn from tonight's experience.

I went to a friend's New Years party. As with most parties I've attended lately, there wore guys than girls. When I got there, there were only four girls, and my friend told me that they were all taken. Jason showed up about twenty minutes later and I decided to just chill with him. He's always a blast and even though we hung out the previous night for the Ortiz-Liddell fight, we still had much to discuss.

Much to my surprised three girls rolled in with a probably AFC boyfriend in tow. One caught my eye immediately. She was this tall, pale girl. Later, I heard her claim to be a redhead, or strawberry blonde, but I really thought it was more of a dirty blonde color. Anyway, tall girls always do it for me, and she was the best looking target at the party.

Now, I kept planning my moves for the next hour. I figured I wouldn't do anything b/c I didn't have full confidence to jump into the mixed 4 set when I haven't sarged in like four months. That would have been the best move. You take over the set, win over the dude, win over the other girls, and then the target will be so glad you want to isolate her and talk to her.

Well, I ended up opening her when she walked by on her way to get some snacks. This Polish friend of my ex was there. I was talking to Jason, her and her fiance. She had asked me if I wanted to join a vollyball team. When I saw this girl walk by, I decided to use my vollyball girl line that I had used a few times in the past.

I've used it twice. I teased this tall blonde at Starbucks over the summer. She actually did play vollyball and I got a small and some small talk with her while ordering my drink. (I never got to follow through on that as I stopped sarging not long after that). I also used the, "Hey, do you play vollyball" to this tall girl at Barleycorn during a PUA meetup with Dahunter back in July . I wrote about how this HB9 flipped me off and the community guys that I had "stones" for using such a line.

I asked my target, "Hey, do you play vollyball? My friend her is starting a team." She replied, "No. Just because I'm tall doesn't mean I play vollyball or basketball." Thinking back on this, I think she thought I was busting on her, and she probably was self conscious about it. Jason made a few comments that I don't recall, and then she busted on Jason for being short. It's funny that I'm even shorter than Jason. She ended up walking away.

In a few minutes, one of her friends walk by. I told her that her friend had insulted my friend. I then related the story, and I said, "I guess I understand her. She probably is self-conscious about her height. In grade school, they probably cracked jokes, but I was serious about the vollyball team." The friend confirmed my read and also told me that she'd known my target since grade school.

Later, I decide to try to join the Charades game going in the other room. First, I work the party. There's my group in the kitchen. Another group is playing some card game in the dining room. I BS with someone there. Then I observe the charades game for like 30 seconds, and then I go check out the poker game downstairs. They were just messing around and I didn't want to play anyway. I hung with them and then came back up. I then joined the game.

My problem was my target was on the other side of the room and sitting among her friends. Jason joins that game and I end up performing once. She banters with Jason again. I'm sitting on the floor next to another couch and Jason is sitting behind the couch. The girl ends up sitting in the couch next to us. I bust on her a bit since she's close. At some point, the girl walks by and smacks me in the head. It wasn't hard, it was more of a playful hit.

Now, the problem is that every one saw this shit so I had so show that I wasn't going to be some chump. I commented to the room that she's lucky she's a woman. When she comes back, I should smack her, but I'll cut her some slack since she's a girl. When she sits down again, I use the old PUA line, "I can tell you and I are not going to get along, I won't take your shit and you won't take mine." She tells me that she didn't mean anything with the hit, she says she just plays around with guys like that. I tell her that she can be my new little sister. She says that I have to be her little brother. I tell her, "No, that would work. You're my little sister."

Here, she says, "Do you know how old I am?" Now here is where I make a mistake. It's not a big one, but I recognize now that I could have begun to win her over. The perfect line, I think, would have been to say, "Well, you still look young. Anyway, I think age is more of a state of mind that a number. I know 40 year old guys that still have the heart of a 20 year old, and I know twenty-something that act like their older. I mean they act like they've lost that zest of life that you often see in youg people. " I could even have continued by saying, "Now, I don't see that in you. However old you or I are, I can tell we both still have that energy... that passion for life."

Instead, I didn't realize that we had gotten past the ball busting stage and were ready for rapport. Instead, I made the mistake I've oftne made: I broke rapport with a cocky-funny routine. To, "Do you know how old I am?" I responded, "No, do you know how old I am?" She said, "No" and I used the line (I believe Mystery's line), "I'm a baby. I crawled out of my crib, stole my brother's ID, and snuck in the back door." She smirked, but I know now that I shouldn't have backtracked the sarge.

Later, some AFC gets up and she has the couch to herself. It's a loveseat, and she streches her legs out over the other space. I could have just made her move over so I could sit, but I wanted to make it less obvious. I took a piss, and then came back. Here, I lacked some stones too. I sat on the enge of the couch and told her, "Hey sis, I'm sitting her, but I need some personal space."

Now, Jason rolls in and just sits down on the couch when my target gets up to perform for charades. She sits down next to him. I thought he was going to make moves, but he talks to her and doesn't. Later, he told me he wasn't feeling it from her. My analysis is that either one of us could have sarged her. She was looking, but both of us idiots didn't follow through.

She ends up sitting next to me a few minutes later. I can tell we're ready to be in the rapport stage as I felt her out with a question. I said, "What's up with you anyway? I bet you have brothers and that's why you put out this hard shell." She said that she has a younger brother. Rather that continuing, I decide to practice "state control" (TD's defintion meaning I decided to protect myself from feeling bad by possible rejection) and I didn't continue with my line of questioning.

I was WEAK:

I had played the game well up to this point. I could have won her over earlier if I had used the lines I posted above, but I definately could have continued to the rapport stage with her. With decent game, I bet I could have created a connection, and I'd probably have her number. I think she made either a conscious or unconscious decision to sit near Jason and I and I think she would have been receptive to either of us. Jason was still in the busting stage. I was at the point where all the BS testing was over, and I just had to build a connection. Easy as this isn't a club environment. Instead, I practiced state control by playing the charade game until she had to leave.

It's okay. I feel bad about my failure, but I've made this mistake many times before. I've failed to close and I even rejected a bookstore girl in July who gave me a second opportunity to number close her as we were leaving the backstore. It happens.

Burning:

I talked about this in my previous entry. I feel motivated and I feel a need to get back in The Game. Geniune PUAs have seen potential in me and it's time to believe in it and harness it. I know that if I'm out sarging regularly, I'll feel even more confidence and I won't fail to follow through. The party was playing on "easy" level. Being out of practice, I still showed some good moves and if I had been sarging a few times the last two weeks, I probably would have closed this girl instead of practicing "state control."

So, I feel determination from this personal failure ,but I also got a hint of that rush that I get from sarging. Since I've spent so much time lately alone and in front of my computer, I definately feel that I need to go out and be social. We're social creatures, after all. I feel great when I sarge because I know that I'm practicing a skill set that I never thought I have. Sure, I used to beat myself up for not having advanced more, but when contrasted with the average person, I really see how much I've improved. I'll tell you that i felt ZERO fear or anxiety when talking to guys at the party. I should to be shy when talking to strangers and that still gone. I didn't feel as nervous talking to women, though I feel some fear when I first was going to open my target.

I just fear that I'm going to go to the bar and sit in the corner alone playing Golden Tee. Maybe that'll happen, but I think when I go out again at some point this week, I'll force myself to open sets. I'll start with the simple goal of just running openers on sets. If I feel up to it, I'll run some routines until I get busted out, but I'll be happy to just open and eject the first night. I'll update my journey as usual and I think my entries will be more frequent that they have been lately. I don't think I can sarge 4 times a week like I was last summer, but I can fit a full work week, exercise, and sarging at least two nights a week.

2007-01-01T05:12:00.000-06:00

New Years Resolution: PUA Journey

Why I don't believe in New Years Resolutions:

Let me preface this entry by saying that I actually don't believe in New Years Resolutions. As I thought about it more, I decided that I could actually make a decent routine out of the following. I think I started disliking resolutions because I hear the sames ones every year. Tons of people say they are quicking smoking or losing weight. The gym is empty in December, and then it fill up with all the people that plan to lose weight. By February or March, almost all of these newcomers are gone, and only the regulars remain.

Setting New Years as a date to change your life isn't how you stick to a resolution. You have to fight the battle everyday. For example, I've been focused on exercising and losing weight and every day, I have to figure out what I'm eating, and force myself to follow my workout plan. The reason I'm succeeding is that I'm forcing myself to make baby steps every day.

Every day you have to wake up and tell yourself that you're going to move in the right direction once again today. You're not going to do it tomorrow. You're not going to worry if you messed things up in the distant past, or even just yesterday. If you make the right choices more often than you make the wrong choices, then you'll slowly move towards your goal and one day you'll wake up and you'll have the results you want. You'll be healthier, you'll be fit, you'll run a successful business, or you'll be a PUA.

Why am I making a New Years Resolution?:

Well, it's a only New Years Resolution because I happned to go to a New Years Eve party. If I had gone out to the bars a few days ago, or a week ago, I think I would have been have resolved to get back on the path to PUAdom.

So, I'll say with confidence that I'm back. These past few months have forced me to find myself. I've faced adversity and I've moved in the right direction in other areas in my life. Pickup is one area that I've strongly neglected, but as I've hinted in the past few blogs, I feel like my confidence has increased. I look better (updated pics will be posted soon). I feel confident in myself since I've faced some inner demons and I look forward to seeing what lies ahead.

There will be a lot of failure ahead, but those are just stepping stones on the way to success. Every one fails. You only succeed by picking yourself back up every time and continuing on the right journey. True failure is when you just give up. It's also when you reach stagnations and don't move ahead.

2007-01-01T05:11:00.000-06:00

Stupid $75 viaduct parking ticket

I went to a New Years Party tonight and got surprised with a $75 ticket. Apparently, I'm not the only one unawre of the ordinance prohibiting parking in this area as both sides of the street were filled with illegally parked cars. No signs were posted as I guess we're supposed to know it's illegal.

$75 is brutal. I guess this law is designed for areas different that where I parked as there was no traffic there and to me, it seems like violating street cleaning is more of a nuisance, and that costs $50. This is as much as a moving violation. Brutal.

2006-12-16T20:49:00.000-06:00

Baby steps

When I went to the gym yesterday, I decided to try some playful banter with the girl working there. It wasn't much, but I feel like I've moving in the right direction. I didn't feel nervous while talking and I actually maintained good eye contact and spoke slowly and calmly during our brief conversation.

I really feel that once I get back into this, which I'm planning on doing within the next three weeks, I'll be much better than I was. My inner game is lot better than it was especially since I've lost fat and feel like i look better.

I think I'll have more confidence in the field and that was what was holding me back. Dahunter, a genuine PUA, told me I had potential, but part of me never believed it. That was dumb as he really gave me good feedback. When I first met him and dressed like a chump, he told me honestly that I needed to change that. When I practiced poor game, he told me so, and likewise he told me when I had good game. When I return full bore into The Game, I think I'll have less of this poor internal conflict going on. I'll actually believe that I have value and am brining value to my sets so I won't be looking for ways to eject or not escalate.

2006-12-12T17:20:00.000-06:00

Job Opportunity:

One of my good friends is aware of my current struggles. He was doing some work at this insurance agency and he decided to see if they had any entry level positions open. They do indeed, and he told me about this offer. If I took the job, I'd be doing crappy clerical stuff, but supposedly there is opportunity for advancement. I seriously contemplated taking the offer, but in the end I've decided against it. While I driving home from the gym the other day, an old White Snake song came on the radio and I felt like it fit in well as a theme song for my life and choices at this point. The song was "Here I go Again on My Own."

My friend and my mother can't understand why I won't take this job. As tempting as it might be, I think I can't give up on this. I can think of several reasons. The first thought that came to mind is that I didn't want to become a "working stiff." That's a term that my friend Jake uses to describe working a real job. That thought is common among people in our profession or among self-employed people in general. Self-employed people often end up putting in more work and hours than they ever would in a regular job, but they find pride in their own work that they don't in working a regular job. I think in the short term, I'd probably make more by taking my friend's job offer, but I still believe and have past evidence to show that I can make a decent living doing what I'm doing. Besides, if I wanted a real job, then I should have just entered the work force years ago and I'd probably be making good money now.

I told my friend that money isn't everything. In my younger days, I always thought people who said that were full of shit, but I've gotten wiser over the years. I can see an alternate version of myself. If I had gone the regular job route, I'd probably be completely comfortable with my finances, but I don't think I'd necessarily be happy. Too many people get caught up in making money that they forget that life is about being happy and doing what makes you happy. For a few fortunate few, they find fulfillment in something they do and earn a boatload of money (take a NFL quarterback or a CEO, for example). My friend in question is comfortable with his fianances now, but I doubt he can say that he's living a dream or that his work is truly what he'd want to do with his life.

If I take that job offer, I know that I'll always be wondering if I could have made it on my own. I'm sure that thought would either always bother me, or I'd end up leaving the job so I could pursue my dream. When things go badly, I wonder if this really is a dream. It sure can be extremely frustrating and depressing at times, but it can be equally wonderful at the other extreme. If I can make this happen, then I think I would be living a dream. I get to play games for a living and support myself. I get to set my own schedule and find time for working out and sarging.

I've thought about the money situation. Perhaps, with effort, I can make more at this than I could at a real job, but I think I'd be happy making mediocre wages just so I could live this lifestyle. I just want to make enough money to survive and save a little. That's all.

Drive and Effort:

The disbelievers would like to tell me that I don't exactly have a perfect track record. I'll admit to making poor life decisions, such as not working for weeks on end and putting myself in bad situations as a result. They want me to give up and become a working stiff. In the past few weeks, I've isolated myself and indulged that "woe is me" attitude. My blogs have shown some signs of optimism, but those were just brief spikes in my mostly depressed state. I do feel like things are turning around because I now have just about everything moving in the right direction. I just need to open some sets and sarging can be on track too. :)

I've forced myself to believe in myself. I've had to remember that nothing worthwhile comes easy. If it were easy to play for a living, sarge, and be physically fit, everyone would do it. If such things were easy, then there would be no value in achieving them. Also, I'll repeat the quote I've heard (don't know the source), that those who succeed just never gave up. Life is going to beat you down and throw you setbacks. You have to stand back up and use those setbacks as opportunity to improve yourself. This is standard inner game stuff, but for the first time in months I'm starting to believe it.

Take losing my phone. That was a pain in the ass, but I know now it was good that I lost it. I got a better phone with internet access. I was paying separately for my laptop access, and now I have it on my phone. I now save money because I cancelled my DSL. My T-mobile SDA lets me hook up either computer to the internet and the speed is about as fast as my DSL was when I first got it. I've saving money on DSL, then, and I'm going to cancel my home phone this month. Well, I'm going to port the number and add it to my Family Plan for $9.99+tax, which is better than paying $20+ for the stupid land line that has no voice mail or caller ID.

The past few months have made me stronger in many ways. I believe if I can just keep things moving in the right direction, in six months I'll again feel like I'm really living my dreams.

2006-12-05T22:59:00.000-06:00

On the Verge:

I feel like I"m about to break out of this rut. I hesitate to write this b/c I've written such about 2-3 times now and I've been wrong. Obviously, I don't believe that actually writing such a statement will cause me to hit a downward spiral again, but I feel dumb writing that I'm about to recover and then I find that I disappear again for a few weeks. I'm feeling better. My diet and exercise program is working. Work is okay. I just need to reconnect to my social network at some point and I need to get back into sarging.

Fear:
I was listening to one of PlayerSupreme's old podcasts. (That reminds me that I need to start downloading them into my phone on a daily basis and I think his words will help my game.) He spoke about fear. He talks about how fear prevents us from doing many things right in our life. It's obvious that fear of rejection held me back when I was sarging. I got good at the first stage, but I still feared rejection when it came time to kiss close.

Fear also has hindered me in work. I put in fewer hours b/c of fear. I also would at in that I practice state control, which comes from that fear.

Well, I know what i have to do. I need to face my fears and work on getting everything

2006-12-05T22:58:00.000-06:00

Victoria Secret Fashion Show

I watched the show today while eating my dinner. Needless to say, the girls were amazing. I don't know much about fashion, so I can't comment on that aspect. My favorite model is still Giselle. Also, I like the Victoria Secret models b/c they actually have curves, unlike many runway models I've seen.

These models are really freaks of nature. I need to envision them when I'm at the club and ready to start sarging again. I should remember that any hotties I see at the club are nothing in comparison to these women.

On last thing: As I was watching the show, I couldn't help but think of Tyler Durden's story about this LA party he went to one time. There were swimsuit models there and he was surprised how many did coke. I kept wondering how many of these VS girls do coke.

2006-11-21T18:19:00.000-06:00

Eating Pumpkins, Tuna, and Cottage Cheese:

I mentioned in a previous entry that I went to a birthday party in Chinatown on the last Saturday of October. This acquintance of mine named Bernie was there and he told a story that has really motivated me. His younger brother, whom I had met a few times, had a massive heart attack last year and is lucky to be alive. Get this: he was only 35 years old. That really stuck in my head. I've been trying to get back into shape for the past two years. Everytime I've blown off workouts, eating pizzas like crazy, or gained back weight that I've lost, I've told myself that I'll just get in shape later on. I'll make up for it in the future. This heart attack story made me realize that if I keep putting off health and exercise into the future, then eventually a CVD, Type II diabetes, and a variety of other ailments would present themselves as my unfortunate reality. Age thrity-five is only six years away and I've already been spinning my wheels since I was in great shape two years ago.

Now, I've made some progress in the past two years. Around this time last year, I was already on a running and weight lifting routine. I even made time to exercise when I was on vacation this time last year. In late May, I found myself in good enough shape to run 6 miles nonstop. In June, I went to my cousin's ordination and I had a week off where I ate everything in sight and didn't exercise. In two weeks, I easily gained 10 lbs and it took me awhile to get back into another exercise program.

What I avoid doing for a long time was to address the "diet" part of losing weight. Using fitday.com helped me a ton in 2002 and 2003. I watch what I eat better when I'm measuring everything and inputting my foods on fitday. The closest I've done to counting calories is to kept a running total in my head. I could estimate what I was eating since I used to measure what I ate daily. Two weeks ago, I decided that it was a pain to keep having to keep a running count in my head, so I logged onto fiday and have been logging everything ever since.

I never do anything a speed less than hardcore. I have trouble maintaing that intensity in the long run, but I'm good and starting projects and giving them maximum effort for at least a few months. Notice that I was able to sarge hardcore for about 10 months. For the past two weeks, I've been keeping a good workout routine and I've been eating better. The crazy thing is that I eat so much fewer calories that I did just a few weeks ago, yet I'm feeling great. I don't like vegetables, so I've been drinking vegetable juice. Last week, I learned about canned pumpkin. That stuff (not pumpkin pie mix, but pure 100% pumpkin) is great. A can is about 120 calories, 18g fiber, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals. I've been eating lean proteins and I've been aiming for about 140g or more of protein. I've been keeping carbs minimum. According to this definition I saw on the bodycomposition forums, I'm on a ketogenic diet. Well, it's more of a targeted ketogenic diet as I'm eating carbs around workouts to make sure that I have enough energy for the workouts.

I've regained my interest in reading about diet and exercise. I used to read the misc.fitness,weights newsgroups about 4-5 years ago. There was lot of junk there, but I learned which posters knew their stuff. One of the best posters was this guy named Lyle McDonald. About two weeks ago, I decided I wanted to reread some some about fish oils, so I did a mfw google search. I then decided to see what Lyle was up to, so I googled him and came upon his new site: http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/
It has a great forum. I've spend countless hours searching the forums for various things of interest.

Anyway, that's what I've been doing. I feel great now and I hope I can get back to my ideal weight and be in great shape again. I think I'll be able to maintain my conditions because I'm getting in shape for the right reason now: my health. Back in 2002 & 2003, I worked out because I wanted to get in shape so I could "pick up girls." Reading "The Game" and sarging for almost a year made me understand that getting girls isn't about working out. I'm sure I'll get better results when I'm in shape and out sarging, but I saw that I could get positive responses when I sarged while fat. When I sarge when I'm in shape, the majority of my better success will be due to a confident inner game.
Tat's a long way away, however. My inner game is shot to shit right now. At least I've gotten diet and exercise down. Work and sarging are condition: negative right now, but hopefully I'll get things on track soon.

2006-10-31T22:26:00.000-06:00

Everthing Intertwines with Inner Game

I felt pretty good for the past few days. It's funny b/c I haven't even hit a winning streak in poker. I thought that's what it would take to get me back on track. All I've done is stop the hemmoraging. I've broke even for the past few sessions, but I've actually been able to put in some serious sessions without getting pissed or distraught.

What has changed my mood?

Well, not losing has helped, but I think I've changed my attitude. I've been doing my best not to entertain negative thoughts. Over the past three months, I did the opposite. I pondered those thoughts and I really do think that entertaining them leads you to believe them. I told myself that I suck at sarging, suck at poker, and suck at life. Very depressing stuff.

I worked out Saturday. That felt great. Then, I went to Chinatown for the birthday dinner. It felt good to socialize as I hadn't been talking to anyone besides my mother. I played Saturday and I just decided that I needed to believe in myself. I hit a good streak at the beginning of my poker session, but then ended up losing for the night. Strangely, I was still in a good mood. A good player is supposed to not let his results affect his mood. Check that one. Also, as I felt more confident while I was playing, I played better. I was more agressive and I see how I cost myself money by being passive and just absorbing bets.

On Monday, I worked out and worked. Today, I worked out and went to dinner with a Flyertalker.

When I was riding that wave, these things would seem like normal events and they are, except that my mood had been taking a dive after any high points (as small as they were). I now realize how everything is related. It starts at inner game, and everything weaves itself together and snowballs towards either the positive or the negative. I started having a better attitude and believing in myself (that's the core of inner game). I started eating better. I noticed that when I was sick, I just ate more. I know that when I don't work out, I try to replicate the good feelings that I get through food, and it's completely counterproductive. I feel worse b/c I know I'm getting fatter. My body feels lethargic from too much food. I need to sleep more and I don't feel like working out b/c I feel like I'm tired all the time. That causes me to eat more to try to make myself feel better.

As I feel better from not being lethargic, I find that I want to work out. As I work out I feel better about myself and I want to eat better. My body feels better and I find that I need less sleep. Since I'm sleeping less, I have more time in the day, which includes time for working out.

I just have to make sure I maintain this momentum. I know that I can get busted up at work on any given day, and I need to make sure that won't affect my mood. I need to forget about mistakes I've made this past year and focus on doing the right thing.

As Sidegames used to tell me, which he learned from AA:

I have to take things on day at a time.

I'm not going to repair all that I've messed up, but I can make sure that today, I'm going to move in the right direction. If I move in the right direction each day, no matter how small of a move it is, then I can be happy that I'm making progress. I need to remember that I can't move backwards. I can't entertain those negative thoughts as that's moving the wrong way. As I've seen firsthand, it's easy to sink into a dark hole when you let yourself move in the wrong direction.

2006-10-31T22:02:00.000-06:00

The Year in Review

It's a new year for me. It probably seems strange that I'm celebrating the new year in October, but as many of you know, I started my PUA journey last year. I went out for Ajay's birthday and open my first sets there. Along the way, I learned many things about life and I improved myself in ways I never imagined possible. I was riding such a high and I thought I'd be a great PUA by this anniversary.

Alas, life throws its curveballs as I've described in some of my recent posts. I've been in a downcycle and I haven't even been logging on here. There wasn't much to write about. I didn't want to write about my depressing life. As theapeutic as this blog is, I know that writing my depressing feelings would only make me feel worse. It would also make any reads feel worse, and who wants to get more depressed?

Ajay had his annual Halloween party this past Saturday and I didn't attend. Well, I went to eat in Chinatown but I ditched the bar outing. I had a legitimate reason . I had to play like a madman on Pokerstars to ensure that I'd become a Platinum Star. Also, I knew I was going to have a terrible night. I hadn't been sarging in weeks, and my last two attempts have been horrible. I knew that I had to improve my inner game before I could even attempt to get back in the field.

2006-10-17T00:10:00.000-05:00

Where I've been:

I've decided to start posting in this blog again. I actually like the anonymity that I had on this blog. At some point early this summer, I stopped posting here and instead started posting in my myspace blog. Then, when I hit a rough patch in my life, I stopped posting in both blogs. I feel that I would have posted more during this time if I had kept the blog here, but I was less excited about posting in myspace. My friends read that blog regularly and my identity was out in the open.

I'm going to post in both blogs again. Many of the entries will be the same as it's so easy to just cut and past entries. Sometimes I'll post additional entries here since this is less known to my friends.

Here's in my latest entry:

My life has resembled the Arizona Cardinals Season:

The mishaps of the Arizona Cardinals made for an exciting football game and it also reminded me of the lesson I've been trying to ingrain in my head. It goes back to that book I keep mentioning (the title which still eludes me). Tonight we saw the Cardinals blow another huge lead for the second week in a row. They kept finding a way to lose. In contrast, we saw the Bears find yet another way to win a game they should have lost (another one was the Vikings game).
Anyway, I've had poor inner game the past few months and a losing attitude. I've been depressed and I kept finding a way to be miserable. I've even sick with a cold again, for third time in less than two months. That's amazing considering I haven't been going out to the bars. In fact, I don't leave the house much since I work at home and this means I should get sick less often since I'm exposed to fewer germs.
Sure, things went bad in August, but I let my losing mentality keep me miserable. I failed to appreciate the positives that happened. In my last blog entry, I was beginning to see the light, but the trip to Florida turned out to be a nightmare. I figured it wouldn't be fun, but my stepfather turned out to be a bigger jerk that I anticipated he would be.
There were some real lows for me on the trip and it was so bad that I didn't even want to come on here and write about them. I probably should have because I know that writing these entries do make me feel better.
So, what's the solution? It's the same. I need to work continue to work out because that always makes me feel better. Too bad this cold is going to prevent me from doing that for a few days. The main thing, I need to do is get rid of those negative thoughts. When I'm feeling like this, I something think all the inner game stuff I read is New Age BS, but I really believe it works.
I know this for sure right now. Continuing to think negative thoughts sure doesn't lead to a winning attitude. Negative thoughts and a losing attitudes leads to more misery.
I must give myself credit today. I've been working on not indulging my negative thoughts and that the first time I've done that in a long time. The life I've been leading for the past two months is not me. Maybe it was me years ago, but I changed a lot this past year. I'm more that new person than I am this old me that I have reverted to but I don't know how many weeks or months it's going to take me to break out of this slump.

2006-06-17T04:56:00.000-05:00

Failure to Launch on Number Close
Current mood: embarrassed

I feel dumb writing this post. I opened had a great lone wolf set going at Border's. I had spotted this pale brunette when I walked in. She was sitting on a chair and reading. I violated the three second rule by not opening her right away, but that doesn't matter. The three second rule applies mostly to newbies. Newbies find that they get paralyzed when they don't approach right away. I just opened three other sets in Border's. Finally, I decided to open this girl. I was sick of "tent" so I created a new situational opener. I spotted a book about Chicago's Milennium Park. I was flipping through the pages when I spotted an aerial view of the "Faces" fountain (not the offical name, I'm sure, but anyone who knows the park knows what I'm talking about). Next to the fountain was a shiny mirrored rock. I actually haven't see that in person yet. I decided it would be fun to approach the girl with the book in hand and ask her if she knew what city the picture was from.

She knew that the picture was in Chicago. I then asked if she visited the museums often and she said she loves the Art Institute since she loves art. (In retrospect, I could have DHV by talking about my visit to the Andy Warhol exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art last month with Beata). At one point, she mentioned that it was expensive to go to the musuems since she was still a student. I mentioned the free days and then I told her about my adventures at Body Worlds. (Basically, my buddy Colorado Dave and I could get tickets on the last weekends so we snuck past some guards and I talked the guy at the exit turnstile into letting me in to "find friends.") I really reached the hook point when I talked about my favorite subject: travel.

As I describe in a blog entry, I went with Beata to an open casting call for a show that the travel Channel is developing. The story of my experience there has turned into my own routine. The show is based on the book "1000 Places to See before You Die." I talk about how I was totally calm at the casting call even though Beata was nervous. I explain how I had a calming effecto on her. I then ask the HB the main question I was asked at the casting call, "If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?" I tell them to consider their answer and then I tell them how I answered the question. I talk about my desire to visit Iran and North Korea.

The sarge went on for a good ten minutes but then Border's announced that it was closing soon. My target mentioned how it was closing soon and then called to her guy friend that was standing near. I still haven't experienced enough mixed sets so I got a little nervous. I know how to handle boyfriends, but I was sure this wasn't the boyfriend. I didn't need to speculate as I just asked what Mystery says you ask every set, "How do you two (or you all) know each other?" She explained that this was a childhood friend. I then turned to him and started talking to him. She was surprised at this and got up while I was talking to him. I won him over and could have #closed her right there.

Instead, I decided to go talk to my buddy and I told them it was a pleasure meeting them both. We ended up running into them again at the doorway. My dumb ass didn't even look at her. I knew she liked me because she held the door for her friend, my friend, and then me. My friend later told me that she didn't even look at him but was focused on looking at me. In other words, that was conclusive proof of what was already obvious: she wanted to give me a final chance to number close her.

WHY DID I FAIL TO CLOSE?

This is a mistake I made for my first three months of sarging. I missed out on number closing a few girls that I now know would have been solid closes. I'm pretty sure I messed up a probably lay in Maui. I used to fear closing for two reasons. One reason is what Tyler Durden calls "State Control." What that means is that when a sarge goes well, you get scared to go for the close b/c you are offering yourself up for rejection and you thus risk losing the good feelings you are having. Another lesser reason is that I feared closing too early since it would probably result in a flake.

I feel really stupid about not number closing this because I haven't failed to try for a close in over two months. I've even attempted number closes when I was almost sure I'd get rejected. I think what really messed me up was that a guy was there. I played everything right and even won him over. I have little experience with mixed sets so I reverted to what was comfortable, which was not closing.

I just have to learn from this failure and make sure I don't do it again. I must remember to not be too hard on myself. I can tell I'm improving every day. I had a good set yesterday and another good one last night. Today (Sat), I'm sure I'll have yet another good set and hopefully another solid number. .

2006-06-17T04:53:00.000-05:00

Day Game Better Than Night Game?

People in the community usual have a preference for day or night game. Mystery's method is designed specifically to get the hottest girls in the club. He says it's applicable to other venues but it's mostly for night game. Gunwitch, on the other hand, is more for day game, though he later developed a night game version through much pain and hardship. Another day game guy was Dimitri. I read his entire archive and he did only day game. The general consensus is that club game is harder, but it has several advantages over day game.

I'll start with a discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of day game. The advantage is that you deal with mainly lone wolves in day game. You need to apply little or no group theory. The women are less likely to have their shields up because guys are less likely to approach in day game. Also, and this goes along with group theory, you don't have to worry about a friend obstacle busting up your sarge or dealing with some AMOG. Another huge factor, especially for my current game, is that the women can actually hear you. The biggest disadvantage of day game is that there are very few sets. When I was doing my Border's to Starbuck's run a month ago, I'd find I'd be lucky to find 2-3 sets worth opening. It's better now that it's summertime as the college girls are back in town. Day game was horrible outside of lunch hours in the winter time b/c all I'd find were single mothers.

Night game is considered by many to be playing the game on level hard. The hardest place to sarge is the strip club. I don't mean going there and spending money, I mean going to the strip club and actually getting a stripper to meet you outside company time and full closing her. Right below this level is probably very loud club environments like the club I was at in Manhattan, and I'd throw in most street game. The clubs I usually go to are probably another level below this. Woman have their shields on maximum at the club. All the drunk morons suddenly get the courage they lack in day game from the alcohol. You have to deal with obstacles and AMOG's so your group sarging skills better be strong. You have loud music which drown out your words and you have a lot of party girls that seek the most exciting stimuli. You're competing with other guys, the music, the dancefloor, etc. .

I started off sarging during night game. As I same in my other blog, my first outing was for my friend Ajay's birthday. We went to Lion Head Pub/The Apartment for their Halloween party. I had a hooded reaper costume which I figured would eliminate some of the anxiety I know I'd feel. I was able to open three or four sets and I remember being shocked with my last set of the night. It was so loud that she couldn't hear me, but she tried hard to listen to me and even apologized for not being able to hear me. Back then, I thought it was remarkable that a girl at a bar would actual want to listen to me.

After that first day, all of my sarging experience was in night game. I didn't get the courage to finally start doing day game until I hooked up with my buddy in Florida in January. The hopping University of Florida in Gainesville and the nearby Starbucks was an easy place to get started with day game. When I returned to Chicago, I got afraid of day game again, but in the past few weeks I've busted it open. I now love day game. It's so much easier.

I'd say that for starting out, nothing beats club game. You have so many sets and having to deal with all the BS I mentioned above makes you improve your skill fast. For this reason, I won't give up the clubs completely, but I won't go as often as I used to. Now that my skill is better, I find day game to be much for rewarding.

2006-06-16T04:40:00.000-05:00

One step toward AFCness, two steps towards PUAdom

Acting like an AFC:

Sometimes, in frustration, we all slip. I met this cool girl online (yes, I know...). Community guys would say I've had one-itis with her for awhile. I felt there was something special about her: her outlook on life and the way she felt about certain things. I really wanted to meet her and two times I thought it was going to happen. I've always realized that I only know her online persona, but I figured if I was so draw to that persona, then maybe I find that there would also be a spark when we met in person. For whatever reason, she flaked those two times. Like an AFC, I kept hinting at future meetings even though I should have realized that it wasn't going to happen. Finally, yesterday, I just decided to ask firmly if we were ever going to meet or not. Like an AFC, I basically told her what I've written here. Not surprising, I got no response, but that made me feel way better. I know felt like I had a final answer. She doesn't want to meet, so I can finally just focus on my mains goals.

More setbacks:
I did my usual routine. I went to Dick's Sporting Goods and punched the heavy bags for fun. I then went to Starbuck's but didn't see any sets inside. I guess summertime is a slow time for that Starbuck's. In the spring and winter time, I'd always find at least one set there. As I was ready to walk out, I saw two, two-sets outside. On left by the time I got done putting splenda in my Unsweetened Passion Iced Tea. I decided to open this other set. The brunette was on the phone, so I ran the tent opener on the blonde friend. When I finished it, she gave me this look indicating that she thought I was weird. The friend had finished the conversation as I was ended the opener. She gave me an annoyed look too. The blonde didn't say anything, and then five seconds later, the brunette looks at her friend and says, "Let's go." Kaboom!

Most guys would have said something rude there, but I just said, "Well, [to the question, would you date a guy that lives in a tent] I guess your answer is no. Please meeting both of you." Getting ignored sucks. Afterwards, I debated whether getting ignored was worse than getting completely hostile respond (e.g. Fuck off). It's a close call. I think getting ignored might be worse because in that case, the set acts like you don't even exist.

Analysis:
I ran the opener like I always do. There was something with these girls. There were attractive, but I'm not as impressed anymore for two reasons. First, I open so many sets that I really am not intimidated by looks. Second, I was just in NYC and I saw and talk to hotter girls. Since I've been back, I still haven't seen any girls that were of the same caliber as those Manhattan girls I saw last week .

Instead of doing my eject, I should have gone the extra 20% (as Mystery says). I now realize what the correct move would have been. When I got ingored, I should have dropped the neg, "Wow, you two don't get out much. When someone asks you a question, it's polite to give them some sort of answer." The chances are slim that this could turn them around, but it would have been a good response. The only other thing I could have done differently was to drop a neg. Even though I wasn't intimidated by their looks, they probably did have the hot girl shield as they were good looking for the Chicago suburb area.

Number close:
I go through all the pain of above, but it all turns around in less than 10 minutes after the big bust out. When I get a really negative response, I feel the need to sarge another set. I guess part of me wants to show that set that they weren't anything special. They think that I opened them b/c I was more interested in them than any of the other sets around. I show them by opening another set immediately that sets are interchangable for me. Also, I just feel better going directly into a new set b/c I show myself that rejection doesn't matter. I open some blonde girl with some lame question. I ask when the stuff is closing and what bars she recommends.

I call my buddy immediately after all this and I get some relief from that as well. While I was one the phone, I spotted a lone wolf who was reading a book. I made a mental note that I wanted to open her when I got off the phone. I got of the phone and walked by towards my car, which lead me past her. I walked up to her, and ran my opener. I had the right body language and everything. The conversation flowed smoothly into other topics. I found out she likes travel and I ended up talking about my various adventures to Singapore and Amsterdam. I talked about why I want to visit Iran and North Korea.

Notable points in the sarge:
-This was the first sarge where Mystery's multiple thread theory actually happened. The conversation was so interesting that I naturally branched off into several topic threads before I could complete an existing thread. Mystery says that creates the illusion of you actually knowing the person b/c you usually only have conversation with multiple thread with people you already know.

-When running a sarge, you start to appear to be of lower value if you continue to stand while the target(s) is sitting. I knew I had to sit down so as I was talking, I started to sit down. The only thing I didn't like is that I asked her if it was all right to sit down. She said it was, but I should have just sat down as I was talking and not ask permission. It would be more alpha (and thus be a better sarge) if I just sat down more naturally.

-I thought I was busted out (and I maybe well have been if I don't get a day2 out of this, but that remains to be seen) when she said, at one point, "I don't want to be rude, but I really did come her to read this book and I'd like to get some reading done." I felt that things were going well up to this point, so I just went into a number close . I have some good number closes memorized, but I just blurted out, "Okay, cool. I actually have to meet up with a friend (true). We should up again and have coffee or something."
HB: I have boyfriend. (Girls say this stuff a lot. If they drop it early, it means you are showing too much interest, or the girl assumes you're hitting on her. When I first started out, I used to get this a lot, but it's no coincidence that as I've gotten better, I get it less. I also blow the comment right out of the water with a witty comeback, "Wow, I just met you and you're already telling me your problems," or I ignore her as if she'd said, "My favorite color is blue." In the closing stage, a girl might tell you she has a boyfriend b/c she's letting you know that she's not available for a traditional dating relationship. She also might be blowing you off. It depends. This is just text book pickup knowledge)
Me: (Using my usual response to this line at the closing stage. I got it from fastseduction.com.) Is he not open to you meeting new people. (Another good line might be, "Cool, is he coming along?")
HB: Actually, we're fighting right now.
Me: Ah. Let's just hang out and meet for coffee. We've had a very interesting conversation and I like to her about the rest of your travels. Besides, I'm not really looking for anyone right now anyway.
HB: I haven't really travelled anywhere else (she's qualifying herself) Oh. You just want to hang out...Okay.

I ask her for her name and phone number. As we're getting that done, she asks me about my job. I was so used to breaking rapport with the cigarette light repair man line that I almost did it here. I fumbled, which was bad, but I ended up saying, "Would you believe me if you said I'm cigarette light repair me?"
HB: Are you?
Me: Naw. I just joke around and tell people that, and some people believe it. They say, "Wow, really? I've never heard of that." Actually, my real job sounds unbelievable too. I play poker for a living.
HB: (typical response) I hear a lot of people are doing that now. Do you really make money doing that?
Me: Yeah, I've been doing it for awhile now. Way before this Travel Channel, World Poker Tour stuff.
(I ask her what hours she works so I get an idea of when we might be able to have a Day2 and she tells me she's a teacher, so she's off for the summer.)

I close the set by shaking her hand. Of course, I hold it a little longer that most people would, and I of course maintain strong eye contact.

Gameplan:
This woman really is interesting. It's been awhile since I've actually felt interested in a sarge. A lot of times, I'm just blurting out game and I find that I'm not really interested in the person or the conversation. (Still, the community says to keep plodding along for practice). I'm hoping that she will show up for a Day2, of course. I'll probably call tomorrow. I'm busy this weekend anyway, but I need to try to set up a Day2 for next week, before I go out of town. If I get her voice mail (which is probable), I'll tell her I'll call her on Sunday.

2006-06-10T09:43:00.000-05:00

Manhattan Club Outing, VIP style:

My trip to NYC has been mostly filled with family reunion type stuff, but I finally got a chance to check out the Manhattan club scene last night at Quo. My cousin is friends with one of the owners so I got the VIP treatment. I just got done reading a few reviews of the place. From what I've read, I would have had a horrible experience if I didn't go with my cousin. The reviews say that place charges a $25-30 cover charge, makes you wait in a long line, and will turn you away if you have a big group of guys with no girls. Thanks to my cousin, though, I got a whole different experience. I had trouble finding parking and I didn't feel let getting ripped off for $25 parking near the club so my cousin ended up getting to the club before me. When I finally got parking and walked to the club, I called him up and he came outside to meet me. My cousin pointed me out to the bouncers and I skipped the whole line. I got stopped by the inner door man, but one of the outside bouncers immediately came in to tell them to let me in.

My immediate impression of the place was that the music was extremely loud. The reviews I've read echo that observation. I knew I was going to have a problem sarging as only do well when girls can hear me: that's why I love Alumni Club in Schaumburg back home. I went up to the little VIP area with my cousin and saw a few of his friends that I had met earlier in the week. One of the friends had brought two girls so I immediately attempted to run game on them. Both girls were originally from Colorado. The first one I talked to had moved to Staten Island a year ago. I ran some game on her but I didn't feel like we were clicking to I moved on to the other girl. At first, she seemed into the conversation but then she said she had to go get a drink. I figured I was busted out as I saw her go to her friend and start talking. She didn't bother to get a drink. (Monday morning observation: After talking about this with Seamas last night, I think I know what I did wrong. She only decided to "go get a drink" after I busted on her hard for telling me her number after the 2nd ESP test. I need to be careful with throwing out too many negs in a row.)

I Get Approached:
After I talked to the Colorado gals, I walked around the club. Honestly, I didn't open as much as I normally would b/c the club was basically one big dance area outside of the VIP areas. The music was so loud so I knew I couldn't open larger sets as a girl standing next to me could barely hear me. Still, I opened a few others in the VIP area and as I walked around, I made my usual comments (e.g. "Did he call yet?" "That's a huge purse, do you have a dog in there or something?") I even tried opening some tall blonde by asking her if she was from Minnesota. That didn't go to well.

Just after I entered the VIP area again after one of my rounds, this cute blonde opens me. She says, "Hi," starts touching my shoulder and then introduces herself to me. She says lame AFC type stuff like, "Wow, you're in the VIP area. You must know all these people." In the old days, I would have thought she was just randomly being nice to me, but nowadays, I understand that it so rare for girls to open guys, especially in clubs. When it happens, it means the girl is attracted to you and you can run game differently. I failed to do anything with this set b/c my club game is still lacking. I ran some game on her initially, but I needed to quickly escalate the kino since we were in this insanely loud club environment. When the conversation stalled, I talked to the girl's friend briefly and then I went to talk to my cousin. I figured I could open this girl later.
That was dumb thinking. I couldn't find them in the crowd later, and even if I would have found them, I probably would have discovered that my window had closed. In a loud club environment, your window of opportunity is very small, especially when dealing with party girls. They are constantly looking for more excitement. For that second, she felt I was exciting, but that can change in seconds. A girl can decide that the dance floor is more exciting, or another guy is, or whatever.

2nd Missed Opportunity:
Later, I was doing my usual rounds through the dance floor. Suddenly, I made eye contact with this brunette. I made eye contact with several women throughout the night, but this was different. Neither of us looked away and I started to feel that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I knew that she could also feel the energy flowing between us as her body language immediately changed. Her posture relaxed, including her jaw, which opened slightly. I feel so stupid when I think back on this moment. It really was amazing as all the noise and craziness of the dance floor disappeared for those few seconds and we were totally focused on each other. Now, did I stop and do something about it? Unfortunately, no. If we had been at a coffee shop, I instinctively would have opened her. In this club, I knew she wouldn't be able to hear me so I didn't say anything. I also was at a loss at what to do at that moment as it happened when I least expected something to happen. I also stupidly figured that I'd find her again later.

A few minutes after that moment, I recognized my mistake and I know I'll get it right when a similar situation happens again. Sure, I couldn't have started talking to her like I could in day game, but I could have went up and started immediate kino. That's what the "naturals" do so well. They don't need to think about their move, they just instinctively start with kino when appropriate. What I should have down, then, was walked up as we were having our moment and began with some kino. I could have said, "Hi" in her ear, and then I should have tried to isolate her off the dance floor as quickly as possible. I'm sure I would have earned points if I brought her to the VIP are and introduced her to my cousin and his entourage. Oh well, at least I'm prepared for next time. :)

2006-06-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

PUA Goals:

I originally posted this on my myspace account. I'm not sure if I'm ready to link my myspace blog to this blog. I'm sure someone who's resourceful could easily make the link, but why make it easier for people? I link several messages boards to this blog, but none to my myspace account. I'm less anxious about linking this to my myspace account than the reverse. The people who go to my myspace account actually know me, and many don't know about this PUA aspect of my life. That changed today. I changed my profile to describe me as an "Aspiring PUA." I posted the message below to explain the goals of my PUA journey. As I say in the entry, when I've reach the final stage, I'll freely link both blogs together. In the meantime, I'm just going to cross-post select entries. The myspace people don't need to know all the details that I've posted thus far.

Myspace post:
Okay, I've taken the next step. I have enough confidence now that I'm not going to hide from who I am. Part of me is an aspiring Pick-up Artist and there's no reason to hide that fact. As I said in my mission statement, I have another blog that describes my PUA journey. At the final stage in my development, I'll link that blog to this page. I'm not ready for that yet. In the meantime, I'll cross post certain entries that I think are appropriate for this blog.

In one of his DVD's, Mystery says something like the following at the start of his seminar:

Nature will unapologetically weed your genes out of existence if you cannot develop the skill set to attract a beautiful women.

I will now expand upon this to define what are my actual goals in this journey. Being a man, I of course want to be with a beautiful woman. As I've travelled on this journey, I've discovered that becoming a PUA is more than that, at least for me. After meeting hundreds of "party girls" I understand that beauty is common. I see beautiful girls everyday in the Chicago suburbs, and I bet I'll see an insane amount when I go to a Manhattan club this Friday. I've also heard from the Community that LA is filled with beautiful women. I get bored with this party girls. A truly beautiful woman is not just good-looking, but also has a personality that is compatible with mine. She's also intelligent and knows what she wants out of life. That's the first goal of this journey then: finding beautiful woman who is your ideal woman/soulmate.

Along the way, you learn to be a fun, outgoing party guy in general. I developed this skill by going to the bar by myself. That's the best way to improve your social skills. When you go with friends, it's easy to just hang with them and not talk to anyone. When you go by yourself, you're forced to talk to people or you look like an idiot standing there by yourself. I had a great experience the first time I did this at Alunni Club back in November. In Allentown, this past weekend, I realized how much I had improved. As soon as I walked into the hotel bar, I opened guys and girls and I clicked with them right away. The community would describe this skill as being part of "outer game."

I've also developed my "inner game" during this journey. I would define inner game as self-esteem and self-confidence. I used to have very low self-esteem. High school set me back in that department too. I started to improve when I got into college but I never truly found confidence in myself until I started this journey. Talking to hundreds of women has almost eliminated the anxiety I used to feel when talking to women. Women used to seem like an alien species to me, but not any more. I'm also more comfortable among guys. I no longer wonder what people think of me. I know now that I'm the best judge of myself. I don't care what random people think of me. You give strangers too much credit when you allow the opinion that they formed of you (in just a few seconds) to influence how you feel about yourself.

I'll expand upon the rest of my goals later, but I'd like to close by saying that this journey has helped me understand social interactions and other people. In the clubs, I understand the social dynamics so much better. For example, I can look around a club and explain many of the things that are happening. I can point out girl eye-coding. I can tell when some lame guy is about to be busted out by a girl. I can tell what guys are doing right and what they are doing wrong. When I'm in a set, I can tell when I've reached the hooking point (the community uses this term to refer to when you've reached the point where the set wants you to stay), and I can tell when I'm not paying enough attention to the other girl(s) in the set, and they are about to bust me out by saying "Let's Dance," or "Let's go to the bathroom." What I mean about understanding people is that I empathise with people much better. When someone is annoying or rude, I usually can develop a short explanation in my head of why that's happening. In other words, I don't let it bother me. In my low self-esteem past, I would have assumed something was wrong with me, but now I understand that it often has nothing to do with me. The person might be having a bad day or might have his own self-esteem problems.

2006-06-05T12:13:00.000-05:00

Project Update/New York City:

I can't believe it's almost been a month since I last posted. I'm currently at my cousin's house in Staten Island, NY. We're having a family reunion here in NY, so he's letting me crash at his place. Prior to this, my sarging has been on hold b/c I've been working hard. I've been putting in like 50-60 hour weeks b/c I knew I was going to be off for 10-12 days for this trip. In some ways, though, I was making huge progress in my game. I've known for the past few months that my "Inner Game" has been lacking and I think that focusing on work has helped me feel better about myself. Also, the fact that I'm starting to see results from my workout program is helping out my confidence big time.
Allentown, PA and Noted Improvement
This past weekend, I was in Allentown for my other cousin's ordination. I got a hotel off of Priceline and was surprised to find that the bar attached to the hotel was hopping Friday night. I went in solo as my cousins were still enroute to the hotel from NY. I was afraid that my game would be lacking since I hadn't been out to the bar in weeks. A few times, I had hit a local Starbucks and ran a few sets. One set was last Tuesday. I saw this hot blonde business woman sitting by herself. I was with Sidegames and I felt nervous about approaching her so I didn't. Later, I made up for it by running the tent opener on her when I got my passion iced tea refill. I felt that my body language was good but I felt a little nervous at the time. I also ejected right away, but I felt good for making the approach.

Fast forward to last Friday. I immediately opened sets as I walked in. I opened a black guy who was watching the NBA highlights and got the rundown from him. I also opened a few girl sets and I felt that I was vibing better than expected. The most interesting set as this lone wolf. I think I could have possible hooked up with her. While I was halfway through my sarge, my cousins called me up so I had to meet up with them. I ended up number closing this girl but we never got a chance to meet up. One interesting thing of note here was when I noticed I had reach the "hooking point." The girl was just answering my questions, etc, until I ran "The Cube." After my reading, I noticed her eyes light up and she opened her body posture more to me. I got proof that my read was right when I was in the process of calling up my cousins. She saw me on the way to the bathroom and she called me by name. I explained that I had to go meet up with my cousins and she asked me to come back to the bar with them. Obviously, she wanted me to stay, which is the definition of having reach the "hooking point."
HB reopens me in front of dude:

At one point during the sarge with the girl above, she had to go to the restroom. Rather than sitting there waiting for her, I opened this two set that was nearby. I just said, "Hi" and explained that I was visiting from Chicago. I asked about the local club scene. She told me about some Banana Joe's place (I can't remember the exact place.) She emphasized how great the place was on Saturdays. Later, when I return to the bar with my cousin, she suddenly stops me as I walking by. She touched my shoulder and said, "Hey, are you coming out to Banana Joe's tomorrow? It's a great place and the hotel can give you directions there." Her face was all lit up as she ask me this, and the AMOG had this "WTF?" look on his face. I chatted with him as well just to show that I'm friendly to everyone. If I had had more time, I probably would have checked out the bar. If the dude wasn't there the next night, that might have been a possible hookup.
Hawaiian cousin and I talk game:

One of my cousins now lives in Hawaii with his fiance. He's been out of the game for like 10 years now, but I can tell that he had game prior to settling down. His fiance is very pretty and you can tell she was really a hottie back when they met 10 years ago. My cuz, his fiance, and I were sitting in the hotel bar on Saturday. My cuz and I saw a hot two-set walk in. He made facial motions for me to check them out (subtly, of course). I opened them briefly. I felt like I was doing okay, but they had told me they were meeting boyfriends later. I ejected b/c I believed them, plus I wanted to talk with my cousin. A few minutes later, the AFC boyfriends did show up. The blonde and her dude seemed to be close as they were very physical with each other, but the brunette (who was hotter) seemed to genuinely have a "borefriend." My cousin noticed over the next few minutes that the brunette kept looking over at me. I said that I generally never notice that stuff (I should be looking for it as the community says it's way easier to pop open sets that keep looking at you.) I also said that my whole life I've always never believed that girls were looking at me. (Here's the core inner game problem). He said that the girl was definitely looking at once of us and I was the one who went up, so it was likely me. I think I've reach the point where I finally believe that I can be desirable. That was a great feeling.

HBolder woman warm call:
My cousin (the one whose house I'm staying in) has a finance too. She brought a friend of her to Allentown for the ordination. As she was the only single girl around, I naturally ran game with her. Saturday, she came to the hotel bar to hang. After awhile, I began to increase the kino and then I did a style kiss close. I ask her how good of a kisser she was. Then I ran Style's routine, "I don't really believe there's a such thing as a good kisser, it's all about the connection two people have...etc." Then I did Mystery's, "Would you like to kiss me?" She just sat there, so of course, I said, "Let's find out." We kissed and she kept wanting more but I pulled back. I told her to not get greedy. Part of the reason was I wanted to show I was in control, but I also didn't want things to get crazy in front of my family and her best friend. I tried to get her to "go for a walk" but she wouldn't leave the bar. Later, she got all messed up and we had to drag her back to her room.

I felt great that I had kiss closed her, but after she got really drunk, I wondered whether she had just kissed me b/c she was drunk and I wondered if she'd have buyer's remorse. The next day, I didn't get to spend much time with her b/c she was seated at a far away table at the reception. I also felt awkward. She and my cousins fiance left the reception early b/c she had to go to work then next day. As they were getting ready to leave I mentioned seeing each other again. She was open to the idea and told me to contact her through her friend. I just asked her for her cell phone number and got it. A few minutes later, when they were ready to walk out the door, she came to say goodbye. We went for a hug but ended up kissing briefly, so maybe it wasn't only the alcohol talking.

I think she's single. At the very least, I learned through our conversations that she lives alone with her cats. She older than me so I don't know what she's looking for. I've heard that older women have less LMR and generally are cool about hooking up. She should be attracted physically to me as I'm a good looking young guy :) I'll try calling her today and try to set up some plans and hopefully I can go meet her cats ;)

NYC sarging plans:
I've got a great hookup Friday night. My cousin from Hawaii has a friend that owns several clubs. He's having a big gettogether at the club. I asked my cousin's finance if she had some single female friend's on the guest list and she said yes. This should be a warm call approach. Even if I can't hook up with the friends, and I use them as social proof to sarge other girls in the bars.

Funny situation:
So, I'm sarging the older HB from the ordination. She my one cousin's fiance's friend. Well, this fiance also has three sons. One of them is staying at this house. He's a few years younger with me. He and I talked at the reception and he said he'd take me out to the clubs. It's funny that I'm sarging one of his mom's friends, and I'm also going to go out with him and sarge younger girls. Should be fun.

2006-05-07T02:36:00.000-05:00

Am I afraid of success?

Sunday, I start to get back on the right path. I haven't sarged since Wednesday. Today was the first day that I actually felt I was back to my old self, but I just didn't feel like going out to the bars. I guess I get sick of going sarging alone. I hung out with my friends. We saw MI:3, which was good. I could have sarged a lone wolf while waiting for the movie to start, but I make up an excuse not to do so. After the movie, I had planned on going to the bar, but I ended up just playing video games with the guys until about 1:00AM. If I'm going to go to the bar, the days to do it are Saturday and Friday. I've always had better success those days b/c there are more normal, non party girls there. I need to force myself to always go on at least one of those nights, and preferable both.

Bad night for FL wings:
I have two buddies in FL that I wish I could wing with right now. They told me a depressing story about going to the bar and not opening any sets. Their goal was to sarge, and only one guy opened any sets. I believe he opened two or three, got busted out, and then they just sat there the rest of the night. I have to keep reminding myself that I do pretty well at the bar solo. I always force myself to go around and open sets. I almost always set up some sort of base, and I've been getting progressively better at that. I had an all girl base three weeks ago, and Tuesday I had a 1 guy/2 girl base. I'm sure I can have a guy or guy set base every time I go out. As I get better, I'll start creating female pivot bases which will really help me out with the social proof. I sometime forget that it's a huge deal to do what I can do easily. In my AFC days, I never would have believed I'd someday be able to do that. I have a lot of problems with my game, but it seems that I was able to jump into the solo bar sarging pretty easily.

Fear of success:
I think I have this psychological block that makes me fear success. I noticed that it happens in all aspects of my life. I can see that I'm getting close to the minimum skill level that will start getting me regular action. I should be able to start closing 7's more often. Perhaps, I'm afraid to let myself succeed as I'm so used to just staying in stagnation or failure. I did the same thing in my poker career. Anytime I get near to the point where I no longer had a chance of failure, I'd do something stupid to jeopardize it. I'd go try to play higher limits and get busted up. When I stopped doing that, I'd just not work for a few months so I could burn through my bank roll. Heck, I'm still one paper from finishing my degree yet I decided to avoid success there too. I think it's time I really acknowledged that I have this problem and it's time for me to take steps to get past it.

2006-05-05T04:13:00.000-05:00

Archive gems:

I'm suffering from inner game problems that I hope to begin resolving this weekend. In the meantime, I've been occupying myself by reading mASF zip archives. I wanted to write down some important stuff I've learned so I don't forget them.

Kino:
I accidentally downloaded the archives of a poster named "scoob." I'm actually glad I did as I've learned some good stuff. In this post, he emphasizes the importance of kino. Of course, I've read all this stuff before, but I read in another post that we sometimes do little things to protect our ego from rejection. These little things hurt our progress. In club game, I really need to kino more and I'm hurting myself by not doing so. I know that I don't kino like I should b/c I'm totally inexperienced and b/c I fear that I'll get rejected and lose state. I know now that I can get in most sets and run them well for a few minutes. I guess I'm afraid that by adding kino, I'll start having to face rejection more often. I probably will as I'll be miscalibrated ,but just as I learned to open sets by getting rejected, I'll learn how to do proper kino.

Club game:

I now realized that I've been too hard on myself regarding club game. Sure, if I judged my club game by a PUA standard, I'm failing, but I need to be realistic. Once again, this is something I already knew, but reading the archives has really made it sink in. I've read some posts from some of the mASF gurus and big shots that describe their early frustrations with club game; for example, lowrider and Gunwitch both had problems. I've mentioned TD in previous posts. TD said he had ZERO success sarging for his first six months. In one of his early club FR, lowrider describes getting busted out of a ton of sets while practicing the "Blonde Hair" opener. He even vividly describes a huge C&B that messed up his state for the rest of his night. I also came upon a new rAFC like myself from Oregon. In one of his early reports, he talks about some black dude told him, "Get away from me" when he failed to vibe properly. Thinking back on the Scoob archive, I believe I remember him talking about his first solo club FR as him just standing the club and no approaching anyone.

All these examples helps me view my club experiences in a much better light. First, my first club experience was good. I didn't stand around. Instead, I made friends with this guy named Dave who was in the middle of a divorce. On a sidenote, I keep wishing I had number closed him and this other guy Mars. I never run into them in the clubs and both could have easily been turned into decent wings. I just felt weird #closing guys at the time. I owe Dave a lot as his presence my first two solo outings helped me build momentum. The quick camaraderie that we had my first solo night helped me feel confident approaching sets. There were a few times when I had approach anxiety, and he proved himself as able to open (sure, it was often AFC, but he still was able to open, which most AFC's cant do). I easily could have been scared away from club game if I had stood around all night like and AFC And made no approaches. I also could have gotten a huge C&B the first night which would have really discouraged me.

As I posted in December, I was able to make friends on my solo missions in Maui. That was a huge step for me. I never would have gone out to the club alone prior to getting involved in this community. On that trip, I went out when Sidegames wouldn't go, and I made friends on both nights. Heck, both of the dudes even bought me free drinks. I still think about how I messed up a probably fclose with HBtatoo. Heck, why call it probable. It was a definite fclose possibility, but I was too scared to even #close her. Honestly, I haven't had a sarge go down that well since, but I'm sure success is within my grasp. Another fuckup, but great experience was that Alumni Club outing with Colorado Dave. I'll never forget that I decided to just start grinding with that girl when Colorado Dave pulled a bad wing move and started hitting on my target. I was pretty good that night except I failed to #close and I failed to isolate the HBtwin. Otherwise, I opened well, and did minor kino well. I persisted a la Gunwitch, not once, but twice.

Thinking about those good experiences has helped pump up my mood, even with the other inner game issues that I have to solve. So as I did in my post on Tuesday, I'll go over what's right with my club game. I can open 2-sets and lone wolves easily. As long as the set isn't full of HB9's, I get into most sets and run a good 3-5 minute opening stack. (In the past, I've gotten down about getting busted up by the top end HB's but I read another good gem in scoob's archive. He talks about how you often need mad social proof or peacocking to get the SHB's. As he says it, "If you have any self-doubt, they'll eat you alive." I should still approach the SHB for practice, but should never let it affect my state>) That night, I made my AFC guy base, which is easy, but for the first time, I got into a mixed set base. I should have taken advantage of that better, but I suppose I still can. That crew said they go to Dakota's a ton, so I'll likely see them again. I should just vibe with them. I don't even need to sarge the girls; I should use them as social proof. I bet I can get one or both of the HB's to walk around the club with me to get me social proof. On top of all that, I opened a ton of sets, which I never would have thought possible in my AFC days.

The bottom line then is I must remember that club game is like playing a video on game on the second hardest setting. (Off the top of my head, the strip club would be the hardest setting.) If all of the big names had problems early on in club game, I shouldn't be surprised that I'm having a hard time finding real success. I should remember that I'm even doing better with my early club game than some of the zip archive people. Armed with the knowledge I have and with more practice, I surely will start seeing success. By the end of summer, if I fix the inner game issues and continue sarging, I bet I'll be able to get at least one solid number close a night. (I'm not talking about easy flake numbers. I can probably get one of those now. I'm talking about #'s that are likely to result in future meetings.)

AFC's Getting Lucky, or Not:
I was just about to post this when I remembered something big. I happened about a post about AFC's getting lucky in the scoob archive. I found the thread, which starts off with someone asking how often normal guys get laid. The OP later says he meant "naturals" but people took the question to be how often AFC guys get laid. Formhandle said he went through a 2 year period between lays. Scoob talks about a one year dry spell. With those examples in mind, I shouldn't feel frustrated that I'm currently "effectively sterile" (to use Mystery's term). Sure, it sucks, but that's soon going to change if I continue on this journey. I should be happy that I read The Game and discovered this stuff, or I might have been left to believe that I never would get the HB's, that I didn't deserve HB's b/c some guys are just not good with women, and there's nothing you good do about it. Even worse, I could have fell into what one poster describes as the marriage pattern. I believe the poster was formhandle, who says that AFC's only get laid by getting lucky: either they find some girl that really wants them and the girl makes it happen, or the AFC happens upon the magic formula that results in lay. AFC's then get so frustrated when the relationship ends and they can't get lucky again for a long time. AFC's then decide to get into a marriage b/c they want to avoid ever having to face that frustration again. I can't help but look at some of my AFC friends and wonder if that's what happened to them.

I think about this movie event I'm going to on Saturday with a bunch of college friends. All, but one of them is married. One is my weekend wing who actually has a ton of natural game. I just need to get him to believe and apply this fastseduction stuff and he'd be an excellent wing. The rest are AFC's (or even WBAFC's and BAFC's) who probably have been "effectively sterile" longer than me. I just wish I could open their eyes, but having been an AFC, I know they think this stuff is all junk or as TD mentions briefly in this "State Control" post, they'd get all pissy b/c it would mean admitting that they were bad with women (which TD says implies several bad characteristics). Once again, I have to be happy that I took the "red pill." (Community guys like using that Matrix quote b/c it really is a epiphany to discover the PUA world.)

2006-05-03T16:48:00.000-05:00

Make Statements:

I think this KJing is helping. I forgot to list another sticking point: I've gotten to a point where I find myself asking too many questions. I've been cutting down on this ever since that Atlanta girl sarge with Jason, but I still do it too much. Juggler talks about making statements. I need to make statements about things and introduce new topics of conversation laike that. As he says, you have to carry 90% of the converation when you open a girl that has not given you AI (approach invitation). Asking too many questions make you look beta and comes off as rapport seeking. I'm going to actively work on this SP today.

2006-05-03T16:24:00.000-05:00

Sticking Points:

- Group dynamics: I'm feeling really tired today. I'll probably go for a jog so I'll have energy to go do some day game, but right now, I'm KJing. I'm reading Juggler's Method right now. I'm reading about group dynamics and I realize that I need a ton more practice with that. Since I got interested in this stuff, I know that girls, especially hot girls, roll in groups in bars/clubs. As I've said in other posts, I've gotten good with 2-sets. With the right wing, I think I have good enough experience with 2-sets. I've become braver and have been tackling the bigger sets, but I kept getting CB'ed by the obstacles. I know this is b/c I'm not keeping them interested and I'm not DHVing enough to them.

-Escalating: I had this problem in my Day2 which probably explains why she hasn't called me back. Especially in clubs, I need to be isolating and escalating.

-Ejecting: I do this less often but I still do it more than I should. Gunwitch is right when he says that you should NEVER eject from a set. Mystery says the same thing in his DVD when he answers the question, "When do you think it's worth cutting off a set early?" He responds that he'll eject when a girl says, "Will you please go away? Thank you."

-Married or engaged women: Non-Community people will think this is horrible. Community people will say that their status doesn't matter. There are many Field Reports of guys that fclosed engaged women. As for married women, the divorce rate is like 50% so there is a good chance she is in one of those marriages that aren't working. She might be stuck in passionless marriage and wants to feel the lust and excitement of being with a new guy. Besides, I'm running indirect so there's no reason not to continue a set when I find out a girl is engaged or married. It's not like I'm hitting on her anyway.

-Hired guns: I think I'm almost past this SP, but I know it's hurt me often in the past. I have to remember that I'm not bothering them, especially when the store is empty. They are probably bored at work and wouldn't mind having some cool guy lead them through some emotions. Anyways, if the girl wants to get rid of me, she just has to say that she has to get back to work. That's the equivalent of the CB saying "Let's go dance" or "Let's go to the bathroom." Until the store girl uses her eject, I shouldn't feel nervous or anxious about running game.

-Party girls: I'm having a hard time with "party girls." When they don't do anything but work and go to clubs, I have a hard time finding something interesting to talk about. I like what I did last night with one such girl. I just started getting her to qualify herself by asking her what she does besides clubbing.

2006-05-03T14:08:00.000-05:00

2-3 Years and Two Problems:

I thought about all the sets last night I picked out two problems. First, I wasted an opportunity on that skinny drunk girl. I had opened her 2 set earlier on the dance floor and I saw her sitting on the edge of this couch by herself. She was drunk and yelling out some stuff to this guys that weren't interested in her. I tried asking her one question but didn't get a solid response so I gave up. WTF! I now realize that I should have continued gaming her until she left or told me to go away. She was already isolated so I needed to run some game and then ask her to come outside to the beer garden. I could have run cube or whatever on her. She probably would have been more receptive to this stuff since she had just gotten blown off by some guys. Another failure is that I'm not trying hard enough to isolate my targets. I had a few girls that were in sets larger than 2-sets and I never tried an isolation move. Part of is probably a state control problem like TD takes about. I want to maintain the positive vibe that I get from opening a set well so I don't want to risk rejection, and feeling sorry for myself, by trying an isolation move. That's dumb. I obviously need to work on isolation as I already know how to open sets. Next time I sarge, I'm going to try to isolate whenever I open a 3-set or larger.

I'm reading mASF right now and someone is asking how long the PUA process takes. This particular guy is asking how long it takes to get good at fclosing girls (in other words, getting one night stands the same night that you meet the girl). He was asking guys to comment that had zero success with women when the started and not guys that already had success prior to the community. One guy responded that it takes 2 years of going out 4-7 days a week for 4 hours each time to be able to close "any girl" (his words). I guess I fail to appreciate the true difficulty of this journey. I've seen the 2-3 year mark for PUA status thrown out yet I still get frustrated that I'm getting shit results after only 6 months.

2006-05-03T02:19:00.000-05:00

Frustrating Night at Dakota's

I suppose it's only frustrating b/c I've set higher standards for myself. In the past, I could have considered this a successful night. I started the night at Border's. I go to there like five days a week now. For some reason, I was feeling approach anxiety. I briefly talked to a hired gun there. I saw a 3-set upstairs that I didn't open. I felt like it would be awkward b/c their were talking to some guy that worked there. I saw a 2-set that I planned on opening, but then I made the excuse that they were too young. They probably weren't. I was just making excuses. They were probably 18, but even if they were 17, that's not too young in IL as that's the age of consent. I also avoided opening another 2-set that I saw in the cafe area. I felt shitty about this whole Border's sequence b/c it was completely opposite of my sarges at Starbuck's on Monday. I felt really comfortable for the first time that day and I thought it would be that way today.

I still had some time before my Mix Master Throwdown pass expired at 10PM so I decided to go to the Streets of Woodfield Starbucks. I also go there 5+ days a week now. What I really should do is hang out there longer. Lately, I just walk in, get my drink and open any sets that are around. Tonight, there were no sets when I walked in. I don't mean there were difficult sets, but there literally were no sets. The only woman there were in a couple set: one guy and one girl. Just as I was about to leave, I did see a lone wolf. I opened her by telling her that there was a free drink sitting on the counter. This drink was extra or something b/c it had been sitting there for 10 minutes. I go no response. I should have went into a routine, but I just bailed. I was pissed that I had chickened out on the sets at Border's and now there weren't any sets at Starbucks. I felt better after having my drink, so I comforted myself by telling myself that I'll have all the sets I can handle at Dakota's.

Dakota's:
I got there about 9:45PM. There were about seven cars in the parking lot. I thought more people would take advantage of the free cover, but I wasn't too surprised that it was dead. Dakota's is an after hours places and it typically doesn't get busy until after midnight when the Alumni Club down the street closes. I actually hate Dakota's. It's too small and crowded, and they charge $10 cover on the weekends for the 1.5 hours you can spend there after Alumni closes. I decided it would be worth trying for free.

Maybe it was good that the place was dead b/c it forced me to sarge some sets right away so I wouldn't look like a loser by myself. When I first started sarging solo, I usually was able to get into a guy set so I had a base of operations. As my approach anxiety lessened, I found myself not even bothering to sarge guy sets unless I really needed the warmup. When I used them as warm up sets, I'd BS for about 2-3 minutes and then leave. I knew I needed to have a real base here. I opened a two guy set. The guys were work buddies and were pretty cool. They even introduced me to the $3 personal pitchers. All drinks were $3 and the pitcher was a great deal.

After I chatted with these dudes for a bit, I saw this redhead and brunette walk in. I told the guys I was going to approach. As soon as I said, "I need a female opinion," the redhead said that I'd already asked her this. I then realized that it was the redhead from Alumni Club in Schaumburg on Sat. She was cute, but I have a weakness for redheads. In reality, she's probably an HB7. I tried to recover by running a shitty version of "My Little Pony." The redhead was cold, but still responsive. The friend didn't like me and busted me out. She said that the redhead's boyfriend was "over there" and then dragged the redhead away. I then went back to the guys and told them that I had run my routine on the redhead on Saturday and we all got a laugh about it.

I opened some other sets that didn't really stand out. Now that I think about it, I actually opened a 2set before the guys. I opened this chunky Italian girl with an "Italy" t-shirt on. Her friend was this quiet, have Arab girl. I was in the set for 3-4 minutes until the Italian girl started a conversation up with the bartender. I tried to talk to the Arab girl, but she was quiet and shy so I ejected. I also opened this one girl by negging her. I asked about her nails, but she said they were real, so I just said, "Oh, well I guess they still look nice." I used the "That's a cool shirt, those seem to be popular nowadays" several times as well. I still don't understand that neg but I use it anyway.

I opened a seated 2-set in a booth that bordered the dance floor. I ran the open on them and then this black dude came. I then turned my attention to him. He was pretty cool and apparently, so was I, b/c he immediately moved over and invited me to sit down. I was in this mixed 3-set. I hung out for a few minutes. I even left and came back. I sarged the girls but I couldn't seem to hook them. They were the typical party girls. I negged the hottest girl several times. I probably should have sat next to her and tried to game her, but I didn't. Instead, I gamed the plain looking blonde. She basically told me she didn't do anything but go to the bars. I couldn't get her talking about travel either. Party girls really seem to be a sticking point for me.

One other notable thing is that I ran PVC devil. I opened this two set, again with a neg. I opened this peroxide looking blonde by asking her if her hair was her natural color. She said, "No" and I said, "Oh, you changed it to that?! Well, I guess it looks okay." I later found out she was a hair stylist. LOL. I got a few giggles when I ran PVC devil which is pretty good for my first use. I found out the blonde's friend was her sister-in-law. I think I stalled b/c I was trying to figure out which one was married. I ejected from this set b/c I seemed to be getting nowhere. Later, I saw that the other girl was the married one as she had a dude around her most of the time, and the blonde was alone, except when she was getting sarged. I probably should have approached this set again, but I felt awkward.

What's wrong?
I think I opened over 10 sets. It's probably close to 20 if you include girls that I just made a few comments too. I think I'm still suffering from a lack of confidence sometimes. I opened this blonde with glasses that was from out of town. We chatted for a bit, and then the two UG friends wanted to go to the dance floor. Later, I saw them sitting in the beer garden. I made my usual party guy comments by saying something like, "Hey, I hope you two aren't giving up. The night is still young." The blonde then recognized it was me and said, "Hi" and ask how I was doing. Then the third friend came back from the bathroom. I said something, but apparently I wasn't speaking loud enough. The girl didn't say anything, and then I heard the blonde say that she didn't hear me. I then ejected. I guess I could have sat down at the table and ran some routines. Then, I should have tried to isolate the blonde. I just don't know sometimes when I should persist.

I seem to be great at opening. Of course, there were some hot girls that blew me out right away, but I can get into most sets for a few minutes. I just can't get anywhere past that. There was another two-set that I saw on the dance floor. I later saw the skinnier one sitting on a couch. She was wasted and was yelling stuff at some guys that walked by. The guys weren't interested. I tried chatting with her, but she didn't say anything interesting. Here is probably another fuckup. I should have continued to run game ,but I didn't know what else to say. Later, I saw the two again. I made some comment to the thicker friend, but again, I didn't feel like I could get anywhere so I just gave up.
Not caring and getting AMOG'ed:

I got to the point were I was ready to leave, but I did one last walk around. I saw some HB8 blonde ordering drinks. I figured I'd run game since she was one of the few girls I hadn't opened yet. I was sick of the tent opener so I did a neg opener again. I should have done the lint opener b/c I brought a ball of lint but never used it. I actually forgot I had it until right now. I told her that her shirt seemed to be popular nowadays. I then asked her if she came from Alumni Club. She said she did. I could tell she was being cold with me, so I decided I just didn't give a fuck, so I tried to qualify her, "What do you have going for you besides your looks?" She giggled when I said that. I then busted on her by accusing her of being like all the other club girls that I run into here. I asked her if she didn't anything else but go to the clubs. She said she worked. I gave my usual response of, "Okay. We all have that problem." I think I asked her about travel. I believe at this point, I saw her looking behind me. I wasn't really in state, so I said something insecure like, "I see you're doing that girl eye code to get rid of me." She actually said she wasn't doing it. I knew I was close to getting busted out, though, b/c she had ordered 5 drinks. Sure enough, some AMOG comes in and gets drink from her. He goes in between her and I. I didn't want to feel like a total tool, so I asked him what time the place closed. Then I asked about clubs for Wed, but he had no response. I then shook his hand and told him to have a good night.

Conclusions:
Well, I typed so much about a shitty night. I guess I find it soothing to write about my night. I figure I might learn something. As I said in the beginning, this night would be success if I judged it like I used to judge my early solo outings. I went by myself and created not one, but TWO bases of operation. I opened almost every set. There was this smoking hot brunette in a three set, that constantly was being opened by guys, that I didn't open. I saw the 3-set when I was hanging out with the seated mixed set. Later, I saw the girls with guys, so I don't think I was really being chicken. Other than that, I opened 10-15+ sets and I got into most of them. I also used PVC devil for the first time and even got a few giggles. I got myself into the habit of throwing out negs too as there were a lot of hot girls here (way more than I see at Alumni Club).

Still, I'm pissed that I ejected from a few sets. I'll say that the ones I did it with were sets that I opened again. I figured if the girls left me before, I probably shouldn't overstay my welcome the second time. I approached these particular sets again, because I felt like my target was semi-interested and I just felt like I got CBed b/c of bad logistics. I was probably right with at least one of them, but if I'm going to open a set again, I should make sure I don't repeat the same mistakes. In other words, I should disarm the targets and try for isolation.

I guess I'm also pissed that I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I know that the answer is that I'm slowly improving. Tonight's frustrations will help me somewhere down the line when I fclose some HB9. I just feel like I'm missing something crucial. I guess I don't know how to close party girls. I get the set to like me but when I can't find something that we're both interested in, I feel like I can't get a close. In day game, it seems that I run into more girls that I'd actually be interested in seeing again. I guess I should use the word "date" even though I wouldn't date girls AFC style. I'd fclose these hot party girls, but I sure wouldn't want to spend my free time with them if I weren't having sex with them or using them as pivots/social proof. The Italian and Arab girl set liked bowling. I actually should have #closed them. I don't know why I didn't. Maybe what I need to do next time is run attraction game and then just #close when I feel like I might stall. I think I avoid #closing in these situations where blurring or flaking is likely to occur. Still, I might as well do something. Even if I get a ton of flake numbers, at least I learn calibration. Maybe the bowling girls would have met with me again if I had approached them again and #closed them, or if I hadn't ejected. WTF!

On last thing: I just thought of this as I was about to post. I must remember how I felt with that last HB (the one where the AMOG came in). I was out of state, but I had the right "I don't give a fuck" attitude. I remember that I was leaning back. That was good, but I did make the mistake of facing her when I hadn't won her attention. Still, it felt good to not care and just try to qualify her. I think that surprised her.

2006-05-01T21:59:00.000-05:00

So close:

Last night, I was feeling a little frustrated with the game. I couldn't help but think about what Mystery says in his DVD. Basically, it's if you can't pick up women, then you are effectively sterile. Part of me can't help but think about this frustration. I had a Day2 last week, but things aren't looking good on that front. I'll call her again tomorrow, but I'm not expecting that. I also haven't had a #close since I sarged that Day2 girl at the bookstore. Of course, I knew that wallowing in those negative thoughts just leads to me feeling sorry for myself and just makes more more likely to remain "effectively sterile." That new me is still inside, even when I'm feeling crappy. The new me had to look on the bright side. I got the Day2, which is huge. Prior to that, I've only successfully sarged a random girl once. That was at my apartment complex in '98. I #closed some girl that worked at the pool, but I had no game and messed it up. The Day2 didn't go as well as I would have hoped, but that doesn't mean that I won't see the girl again.

Today, I realized how close I am to getting some solid success in the game. I went into Starbucks and opened the two lone wolves there. One was like a 40 year old woman who was busy typing away on her computer. Previously, I would have been scared to open her, but I went up with no problem. Then, I ordered my Unsweetened Passion Iced Tea and open this mid 30-something blonde who was also typing away on her computer. The only thing I didn't do right was persist with the sarge until rejection, or as Gunwitch says, "Make the 'ho say no." I really was in a rush as I was on the way to pick up a pizza. That's legitimate. I also felt like I was bothering the 40 year old woman, plus I guess I still don't believe I can sarge an older woman. The blonde was married. The community would say that doesn't matter, but it sure does make it harder. I could have hung around and ran a boyfriend destroyer pattern on her. Basically, I could have gotten her attracted, and then I could have probed to see if she was in one of those passionless marriages. I would have talked about seeking passion in life and living in the moment. Maybe next time.

Earlier in the day, I sarged this hot hot Italian girl that works at my gym. I hadn't seen her in like a month, but I was ready to sarge. I looked like shit as I had just gotten up. My hair was a mess and I was wearing my glasses but I didn't care. I ran "My little Pony" on her, and then started talking about my travel channel tryout. We had a good conversation going, but then suddenly the power went out. Her boss came up and told her to shut off the machines so I told her I see her later. I felt relaxed talking to her when I used to get nervous in the past.

I noticed that I was a lot more relaxed during the Starbucks sarges as well. Being relaxed allows me to concentrate on other details. I found that I remembered to talk slowly. As I sarge more and more with less anxiety, I'll be able to fine tune my body language, focus on good eye contact, and read IOI's. Since I already know what to say for about 5 minutes of the conversation, I can also work on saying stuff that will create emotion on vivid imagery for whatever woman I'm talking to. I know I'm just days or weeks away from a streak of #closes or more!

2006-04-30T02:23:00.000-05:00

Travel Channel Open Casting: No Nervousness
Beata asked me to go to this open casting call for a new Travel Channel show based on the book, "1001 Places to See Before You Die." The show is casting for a couple to travel around the world for four months straight to film the show. I was surprised that I was not nervous at all. Beata, on the other hand, said she was really nervous. I knew going in that the chances of actually getting picked were small, so why sweat it? I figured we'd just give it our best shot and hope we get lucky. Being nervous only hurts your chances, so why do it? Of course, such rationalizations wouldn't have calmed me in the past, but my recent transformations made this so much easier. As I've said in previous blogs, I'll detail these "recent transformations" at a future date. I'm just not ready to link my other blog to my myspace account In closing, I'll just say that we did pretty well. Beata and I were both able to make the screeners laugh and we gave good answers to the questions they asked us. It really helped Beata that I got her thinking about her answer to "Why should we pick you over all the other people?" That was an obvious question that she actually wasn't prepared for when I told her to expect it.
Sarging Lessons:

I've been great about not avoiding approaches but I learned that I still do have an approach anxiety sticking point. I fear no lone wolves and I'm comfortable with two sets (well, I can run them but everyone in the community says you need a quality wing to close them properly). I went to Alumni Club tonight and I was apprehensive about approaching the big sets (4 sets and larger). I just don't feel that my game is there yet, but next time I go to the bar, I just have to try to open them. Facing the difficult situation is the only way to get better at it. The community says that if you're working without a wing, you either need to open lone wolves, or the large sets. Two sets are the worst for when you're working solo.
Interesting two-set experience:

I got the two set lesson reinforced today, though I think I was just a few mistakes short of running this set well. I opened a two set. One was a blonde HB6.5, and the other was a brunette HB8. (I don't usually care too much about the ratings as it's all relevant, aside from ridiculously hot girls of course, but the point is that the brunette was significantly better looking than the blonde). For the first three minutes, I ran the set well and I had both girls interested in the conversation. The brunette was having a problem hearing me so I just engaged the blonde. The brunette sat there bored and let me talk to her friend until a song came up and she pulled one of these "Let's go dance moves." I knew I had messed up b/c I saw her getting bored and didn't do anything about it. In the future, I know I need to show her some attention when I notice her getting bored, or I need to use a "lock-in prop" as Mystery suggests.

I was getting IOI's from the blonde. About a minute before the brunette CB'ed me, the blonde had asked my name. I know when this is an IOI (one factor is if it comes later in the set. If a girl asks you your name at the beginning, she's likely just being polite). The blonde also engaged me when I let the set stall, which is another IOI. The eye contact was good too.

On a sidenote, I saw some AFC's looking at the brunette was I was engaging the blonde. I knew what he was thinking. He saw that he had an opportunity to open her, but he couldn't get enough stones to do so. I tried to help him by talking to him after they left me, but he was embarrassed and didn't want to talk to me.

Interestingly enough, I get an opportunity to open this set again. I see some AFC talking to them when I walk around the bar a few minutes later. I know he's not with them as I just talked to them. I didn't want to show too much interest by opening them immediately, so I got a Diet Coke and came back. The AFC was talking to the blonde so I talked to the brunette. I find out she's a nurse, which is weird since my mom's a nurse. This girl worked in ICU and it's just weird for me to picture her working. I was so used to meeting my mom's nurse friends when I was younger, and they were always older than me. This brunette was younger than me and this is like the first nurse I've met that's been younger than me. It kind of makes me feel old, but not really as I'm not too old to sarge her. We talk about the casting call and talk about travel. I know I'm doing fine with my sarge as she's facing me. She's filling in the gaps in the conversation, and she's positioned herself close to me so we could hear each other through the noise.

Suddenly, I the blonde grabs the brunette's hand. I look over and can tell that the AFC busted himself out. I was doing well with the brunette. I knew the brunette didn't eye code the blonde to bust me out as the brunette was maintaining eye contact. I also saw that the blonde had this "help me" look. The AFC was either really boring or was creeping her out. The brunette reluctantly had to go with her friend to "get a drink" but I could tell she was sad to leave me. She was slow to move with her friend. I just said, "I know what's going on." If I remember correctly (I sometimes still have a hard time believing that I'm not an AFC so I wonder if I actually heard this), but I believe she made a comment suggesting that I find them later.

Just as this happened, I was mad at the AFC for having no game and losing his target. Now that I've had some time to think about it, I recognized that I could have used his crash and burn to demonstrate my value. When I saw her giving that help me look, I should have whispered to the brunette, "Hey, I see that guy's creeping out your friend. I'll get rid of him." Then I could have talk to the blonde, who already knew I was cool, and reassure her that I was getting rid of the guy. Now, I could have run some magic trick and closed the guy out with body language. I think the best move would have been to put my arms around both the girls, and position my back to the AFC. He'd have to give up with that move as it would be so deflating to him. Then, the girls would have really been into me, because I would have shown an understanding of girl code and social dynamics, and I would have saved the blonde from a lame ass AFC.

Another move would have been to find them again. Instead of doing this, I talked to Seamas on the phone for like fifteen minutes and I couldn't find the girls after I was done. Both girls had given me IOI's, so I could have tried to number close them both. I don't know if I could have picked them up, but at the very least, I could have told them that I wanted to make them "friends." If I couldn't run standard game, I could have at least used them as pivots.
Other sarges:
I sarged a few other sets today. In the past, I would have felt a need to write out a detailed report of each for myself, but now I'm opening so many sets that I don't think it's necessary. I opened two older Polish girls who ended up telling me that their husbands were sitting on chairs near me. I looked over and saw them looking at me. I liked to show that I'm just a fun outgoing party guy, so I walked over and started talking to them. I DHVed to the guy by greeting him in Polish. I found out he didn't like the music here. I dropped the names of two Polish clubs, Accent Cafe and Udinca (no idea how it's spelled but that's how it sounds). I chatted with the guy for a bit and then shook his hand and left.

The only other set that really sticks out was a redhead at Barnes and Noble's. I had a hard time find a set in there. I saw a bunch of Arab women. I have nothing against them, but when they are wearing the hijab, I figure my chances a slim, plus these girls weren't that good looking. I came upon a redhead organizing the shelves in the romance novel section, of all places. I did the usual "female opinion tent opener" and she surprised me by saying that she'd consider dating a guy in a tent. That always feels like a curve ball as I'd say <3% style="font-weight: bold;">Summary of lessons:

-I need to keep going to the clubs, as I noticed my club wasn't as good since I hadn't gone to the club in almost two weeks. I took longer to warm up tonight. I don't like the club as much, but I have to remember what TD said. He said going the club will improve your game way faster than day game. I'll make sure I go to the club at least twice a week.

-I need to open the larger sets so I don't suffer the two-set problem. I don't need to entertain the whole set for a long period of time. I just need to establish some value with some of the set, and then I can try to isolate my target. That's the standard game plan for running solo at the club, and I need to work on that.

-I need to try to through in more attraction material instead of jumping straight into comfort.

-I need to have confidence in my sarges. I messed up the B&N set by dropping an AFC line that showed insecurity. If I would have been cool, I could have run some more material and possibly closed that girl.

-I'm making great progress. Now that I'm having minimal approach anxiety, I'm getting more practice. From each sarge, I'm learning small things that I'm doing wrong. As I internalize more of these things, my game improves. Seamas's current problems with approach anxiety also helps reinforce how much I set myself back when I don't approach. He keep making rationalizations for not getting past the anxiety. For example, he says that he doesn't have a solid plan for attraction material. I told him that he need to just start opening. Even if he runs shit game, he'll learn just by making approaches. By making more approaches, he'll get more comfortable being in set, and he can slowly add more material. By not sarging at all, he's just increasing the amount of time it'll take for him to become a PUA or even an RAFC.

2006-04-29T03:42:00.000-05:00

Attraction problems & the jumpy girl:

I'm going to read up on attraction material. I've noticed that in many sarges lately, I've been asking too many questions. This is true in bowling, the Saturday Atlanta HB sarge, and the Starbucks Music Teacher. Off the top of my head, I realize that I need to tell more stories. I believe it's the Mystery guide that says that you often have to do much of the talking ,especially early on. You do this by telling stories that telegraph certain things: preselection by hot girls and other DHV's. While it's lame and sounds like bragging if you say stuff directly, when you imply them or bring them up in stories, it doesn't come across as bragging. I need to tell more DHV stories, and in day game, I can throw in more patterns. I just have to stop using too many questions to get to my material. I'm going to read the Players Guide and Bristol Lair again with an eye for more attraction material.

As for the jumpy girl, I just thought about that girl at Starbuck's. I obviously calibrated wrong several times in the interaction. First, when I sat down, she kind of jumped. I needed to stand for a little bit longer and then sit as she got more comfortable. I sat down while I was finishing a sentence and she flinched. That was obviously bad calibration.

Positives:
I've been learning a ton lately, and I haven't even opened that many sets due to the nature of day game. There just aren't that many sets around. I think I need to do a quick 1 hour tour of the bookstore and Starbucks and then focus on working. I need to go the clubs several times a week, even though I tire of them. A post on TD's archives really stressed that point. Besides the obvious of there being tons of sets in night game, everything is more exaggerated in night game. Girls have stronger bitch shields. You really have to run strong game to keep ADD party girl's attention. If you can run strong attraction material that keeps girls interested in that type of atmosphere, day game is going to be a breeze.

2006-04-29T00:43:00.000-05:00

Sarging leads me to a 221 game in Bowling:

I went out bowling to celebrate a college friend's 30th birthday. It was all guys, except for this one guy's girlfriend Tina, and this other girl. I had actually met this girl previously. She was the ex-wife of I guy I've hung out with before. My buddy said that she has a boyfriend but he made it sound like they were on and off. I decided I'd sarge her. I thought I was doing pretty well. At one point, we were having such a good conversation that we lost track of what was going on in the game. The other people had to keep reminding us that it was our turn to bowl. Sometime amazing happened that game too. I bowled a "4" in the first frame and then had an open frame the second game. Tina and I decided to bet a drink on the game and I just went into the zone. I ended up bowling 7 strikes in a row (frame 3-9 were all strikes). I messed up in the 10th frame and bowled an "8" but then I made a spare and followed up with a strike. I ended up with a 221 game which is my highest ever. Part of the reason I got in the zone was the bet, but it was also the conversation. I'd just go up, bowl a strike, and then the other chick and I would continue our conversation.

I was going to close the girl but she started mentioning a husband. If she was telling me the truth, then she married the boyfriend. I called my buddy afterwards, but he was having car problems so didn't stay on the phone long. He said that he didn't know she was married, but for all he knows, she could be as he doesn't talk to her that often. I probably should have tried a number close anyway, but I don't think it was happening. As the night ended, I was waiting for my score to print out. She was standing there and I said, "Hey, I want to read some of your stories." She had mentioned that I should read some of her writing (apparently she's pretty good as she's been published in six time in literary magazines). She said that I could pick up the magazine or I could find them online. I then asked for her e-mail and she didn't seem too into giving it to me so maybe she was married. I didn't see a ring, though, so I don't know if I fucked up the sarge or if she really was married.

It's stupid to dwell on such things, but I can't help but wonder if I'm somehow telegraphing too much interest. If she's not married that something's seriously fucked up in my game. I also had that girl earlier this week tell me she's engaged, but that seem sketchy too. The only thing I've did with both sets is maintain strong eye contact.

Dick's Sporting goods:
Before I went bowling, I hit the Streets of Woodfield again. I went into Dick's Sporting goods and ended up chatting with this guy. He wanted to hang out. I'm hoping I can turn him into a wing. He doesn't know about any of this stuff, but maybe I can turn him onto it. While I was talking to him, I spotted a cute blonde in a section near us. I excused myself from him and went to sarge that set. I quickly found out it was a two set. I ran the tent on them, but as soon as they answered ,they started walking away. I should have ran my follow up questions immediatly so they didn't have a moment to decide to walk away.

Starbucks teacher:
On the way to Dick's I had spotted a cute blonde in Starbuck's. I decided to go back to see if she was still there. She was still sitting alone and I actually saw an AFC near here looking at her. I know he wanted to talk to her. I think she saw me checking her out which probably made my indirect opener seem incongruent. I ordered my drink and then walked towards here. I knew it was going to look obvious that I was going to talk to her, but I didn't let that stop me. The problem was that all the tables near here were taken, and the only empty seats were next to some old guy or at her table. As I walked by, I used the tent opener on her. I added a new line into my opener. Just after she said no to the tent guy, I asked her if she'd date something that lived in a multi-million dollar house. I didn't even let her respond as I immediately followed with, "I know the answer, yes." Then I went to explain the tent story. She said she'd already "been there and done that," meaning she's already tried dating an AFC that lived in a huge house.

I found out she's a music teacher. At the beginning, she gave me her full attention, but then she started to grade her papers again. I took that as a huge IOD, but I thought of Gunwitch. In his e-book, Gunwitch says that if a girl starts looking at her watch, "You keep talking." He says you never eject unless she walks away or tells you to go away. I decided to keep plowing. I remember she apologized for grading the papers while talking to me, but I just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. I was also getting late for the birthday party so I ejected.

Progress:
I'll say that I am a TON less nervous around girls than I was before all this. I chatted and joked around with this guy's girlfriend while bowling. Previously, I would have been terrified of even talking to her, even though she was taken. I asked her about her single friends, but I didn't get to press that angle b/c I ended up focusing my attention on the writer chick. Regardless of the ultimate failure of the writerHB sarge, I know I have some decent material. We did have a deep conversation at points, and I think I did up her buying temperature when I ran my altered time pattern.

Problems:
I shouldn't worry if my game is totally fucked up and that's why the chick might have been pretending to be married. Maybe I'm just imagining things and my buddy just didn't know she was married. Still, why didn't she have a ring? I've heard that some women don't wear rings, but still... I suppose, if I'm going to be crazy like this, I might as well mention the more favorable interpretation. She definately had the boyfriend and she talked to him. I saw her on the phone and she was speaking Spanish so it must have been him as he speaks no English. If the guy isn't her husband and is just her serious boyfriend, an alternate interpretation is that I was raising her buying temperature and she felt guilty for letting that happen. She figured she'd blow me out by telling me she's married. Oh well, I don't know and I'll still keep sarging regardless.

2006-04-27T22:59:00.000-05:00

Busted myself out of an AI opening at Border's:

I met my buddy and saw the movie, Thanks for Smoking this evening. Afterwards, I dragged him to the Border's so I could try to sarge some sets. After he left, I went downstairs and saw these two girls as I walked. I made eye contact with the prettier one. (I don't remember if she smiled or not, but she didn't look away right away so I figured it was on.) I was a little nervous about opening a two-set in day game but I was ready to do it. I go pretend to look at some books in the corner and the cutie walks by. I say, "Hi" to her. She looks back and then says, "Two books. X bible and Y book." I was thinking, WTF, so I said what immediately came to my head, "Do I look like I work here?!" She then got all flustered and started walking away. As she did this, she said, "Oh, I guess you were just saying, 'Hi.' That was nice of you." I should have approached them again but I felt weird and ended up looking for others sets (there were none in the store).

Two things come to mind when I analyze this. First, she probably knew I didn't work there. It's obvious who the employees are b/c they were the same outfits, and they have an ID badge around their neck. Even if she did think I worked there, I should have said something better like, "I don't work here, but why don't you give me a female opinion on something..." I also should have approached the set again. The friend was alone for a few minutes so I should have opened her and then I could have run the two set when the friend came back. That was weak for me not too. This set does show that it's good to say, "Hi" to random girls. I immediately found myself in a brief conversation by just saying, "Hi."

2006-04-26T01:30:00.000-05:00

Not giving a fuck:

I forgot to write that I got a taste of what that's going to feel like at Starbuck's today. When I did my warm-up set after the Carson Pierre Scott crash and burn, I really felt like I didn't give a fuck. I ordered my drink, and then I ended my phone call with Seamas. I walked right over to this HB6.8 that was studying for her test and I ran openers on her. She wasn't warming up to me, but I still plodding along until she told me she had to study.

I can see myself slowly embracing that attitude. In the very near future, I can see myself opening sets all the time with this attitude. I'm very close. I'm opening sets far more often than I used to and with much less anxiety that before. Getting shot down when opening barely hurts. I just get more experience and try to figure out where my game went wrong. I can say that I've got that down. Again today, I no longer blamed my value as a male being the reason for rejection. I recognize that it's my game. If I had done things a little differently in those sets, I would have held the sets longer and been able to close.

2006-04-26T01:10:00.000-05:00

My first Day 2 since getting into the game:

Today was a huge event for me. I actually got my first Day 2 since getting into the game in Oct. I had FR+ in January with a girl that I met through a friend, but that was different. This Day2 was from a totally random pickup. Over the weekend, I started to worry that the girl might flake. I called her on Thursday and she didn't call me back. I later called her Sunday afternoon and I told her about this Ben and Jerry's event on Tuesday. I asked her if she could meet earlier so we could get ice cream, or if we should meet at 8:30 as planned. When Monday rolled around, I was really expecting the flake, but she called me around 6PM and we ended up confirming.

The interaction was so long that I don't really know how to write a report. I guess I'll go with the good and bad things that happened.

Bad:
-I didn't do enough kino. I knew this was important but I ended up sitting too far away from her to be able to touch her without leaning forward. Seamas later asked me why I didn't go to the bathroom or something. The answer is that I was afraid she would use that time out to end the date. I know I'm supposed to not care, but I'm still learning!

-When Starbucks kicked us out, she said, "Wow I didn't realize it was that late." I replied, "It's not that late, this is about what time we met." She responded, "Yeah, but I'm tired from work." She felt this was a good time to end the date and that comment made it clear that a venue change would get rejected.

-When playing the question game, I got too personal on a question and she refused to answer it. That ended the question game. I should have stayed with questions that she was comfortable with answering. For example, she told me what her favorite position was and that she'd join the mile high club.

-I tried to set up the Day 3 as we were ending the date and she said she was busy. She might genuinely be busy. After all, she didn't call me until Monday and she said the reason was that she was really busy.

-I showed neediness when I kept trying to get her to set up the Day3 now. She said she was busy in Starbucks, and as I was walking her out, I mentioned it again. I asked her if she was busy on Sunday, and she said she had plans. Then, I asked her about next week, and she said, "We'll see." The thing is that she was willing to commit to the Day2 last week easily, so I can imagine that I messed it up.

-She didn't kino me, and I didn't get any huge IOI's from her.

-I showed too much interest by constantly facing her and trying to make eye contact. She looked away sometimes, and that was a bad sign :(

-She might have felt that we didn't have a lot in common. I didn't like how she didn't have any answers to any of my eliciating values questions. She said she never really thought about what she wants in guys, or relationships. I lost points for not recognizing her favorite director (the guy who directed Spiderman, Army of Darkness, and Evil Dead).

-SHE'S ALLERGIC TO CATS! That really sucks!

-She is vegetarian. (I know she'd like "Blind Faith Cafe" but I'm afraid of getting into the dating frame.)

The Good:

-The Day2 went from 19:40-22:00. That's almost two and a half hours. If she really disliked me, she would have found a reason to leave sooner. She enjoyed my company enough to stay until Starbuck's closed.

-When we walked out, we stood there looking at each other. I knew that as an AFC I would have felt that it was time to make a move for the kiss. The rAFC in me recognized that I hadn't gotten enough kino in, so I didn't want to try for the kiss. I just told her to give me a hug and we hugged. If she totally wasn't into me, she would have walked to her car as quickly as possible b/c she expected the AFC move.

-She did try to pick up the conversation in the dull spots.

-She answered some sexual questions during the question games and asked me some intimate questions.

-We had fun thumb wrestling. That was a great was to force kino and it was playful.

-She seems inexperienced with relationships. She's only had one boyfriend. That means I should have more chances for mistakes.

-We both like sushi.

Game Plan:
-I'm not going to give up. I'm also not going to call for a few days as I have to make up for showing neediness at the end of the date. I figure I'll call her over the weekend and try to set something up next weekend.

-As Seamas and I always say, the answer is more options. The more sets I sarge, the more Day's I'll get and the closer I'll get to becoming a PUA.

2006-04-25T22:45:00.000-05:00

Warm-ups to my first Day 2:

Today I had my first day 2 out of a random sarge. This was the HB I picked up at Border's last week. In order to prep for the Day 2, I read a bunch of stuff last night. Today, I knew that I had to do a few warm up sarges so I wouldn't be nervous with my Day 2.

Gym sarge:
I had flirted two times with this girl that works at my gym a few weeks ago. I actually had thought she quit b/c she wasn't working the same day. I expected to run into this other girl today, but I was surprised to run into the Wednesday HB. I greeted her, but didn't get any reaction from here. I wasn't surprised as I know I didn't make a good enough impression to last three weeks. I went to work out and I decided I was going to game her. I did say that I'm going to try to minimize the number of times that I don't practice as every missed opportunity just lengthens the time it's going to take me to be a PUA.

I busted on her for looking bored with the material she was reading. Later, when I was done lifting, I ran the tent opener on her. When I tried to get her to think about an attractive male actor, she said she thought of her fiance. LOL. If she was telling the truth, I sweated this all for nothing. It just goes to show that you should sarge every opportunity and not waste any thought on the girls when you're not sarging them. I could have learned this last time. Still, I decided to go an extra 20%. I didn't want her to get confirmation that I was trying a pickup. I went for a 1 mile run and then I came back. While I was running, I thought of some good lines. When I came back I said, "So, you're engaged? Wow. When's the wedding?" Girl: No sure yet. Me: Oh. It's one of those. I was actually engaged before. Girl: When. Me: About a year ago. We went ring shopping and shortly after I realized that I was getting bored. Relationships start out with such passion and then that tends to fizzle out. I've probably gotten cynical b/c of my own experiences but I'm happy that you've found someone special. Someone that you can have that incredible connection with. Someone who understands you on that deep level and someone with whom the passion never dies. I'm happy for you, and I'm also relieved. Now, I can get your opinions on stuff and I know you'll give me real answers. You won't try to influence how I think about you. Also, you won't be predictable like most girls. Why is it that when I talk to girls, they end up asking me if I have a girlfriend, and then they are suprised that I'm single? I guess I give off the committed vibe. I don't know."

I'll still run game on this girl just for practice. Maybe she'll get bored with this guy, or more likely, maybe she has some hot friends I could hook up with later. It sure beats not talking to her.

Carson Pierre Scott warmup:
I originally wanted to go to Woodfield Mall to warmup, but I was pressed for time so I hit Streets of Woodfield. I decided to go into Carson Pierre Scott, take a piss, and sarge a set. This sarge was an anomaly for me so I even posted a FR on mASF about it. Here is the FR copy & pasted:

I haven't post a field report in months. I had a Day 2 today (which I may post about). I didn't want to be nervous on my Day 2, so I decided to to hit some sets before hand to warm up. I went into Carson Pierre Scott and saw a young HB8.5 blonde hired gun folding clothes. She was in a main aisle. I walked straight ahead and then, as I got within hearing range, I turned my head and said."Looks like you're having fun."
HB: Oh yeah (sarcastically).
Me: Do you believe in ESP?
HB: Why?
Me: I'm going to guess your number. (I then run the ESP routine on her. I guess wrong both times, but I bust on her for thinking about the number too much. Next I run the tent opener. I have a short routine build around the opener "Would you date a guy that lives in a tent?" that I saw on Bristol Lair. I'm making a post in Tactics describing it).

The HB says no she wouldn't date a guy in a tent, and I bust her on being shallow. She says something like, "Most girls will tell you the same thing."

I get stuck and decide to get her to qualify herself a la Mystery "So what do you have going for you besides you're looks? I mean, you're very pretty (she says thanks as I say this and she blushes and looks down slightly) but beauty is common. What sets you apart from the other girls?
HB: I'm normal.
Me: Tell me some things that make you normal.
HB: (I don't remember her exact words, but she couldn't think of anything. When I pressed, she said she doesn't open up to people easily. I then cold read her for being the quiet girl at the bar.) No, I'm very outgoing at the bar but I'm just don't open up to random people.
Me: Are you adventurous?
HB: I'm not sure.
Me: What do you mean "you're not sure?" I guess that means no.
HB: I am adventurous.
Me: Okay, tell me a story that shows you're a little adventurous. It doesn't have to be a crazy story that only your best friends know but surely you can tell me something a little adventurous. (credit to Steve PUA's bad girl routine)
HB: I told you that I don't open to people easily. Why should I tell you anyway? You're just some random guy that walked by. (Then, she said something like, "What so special about you?" That might not have been the exact words, but that's what she meant.)
Me: (Here, I messed up. I realized this was a shit test, but instead of ignoring it, putting another hoop, or negging her, I qualified myself.) Hey, I'm fun.
HB: Yeah. Well, I have to get back to work.

This was a quick sarge but stands out as an anomaly. In day game, I've never got a girl excited this quickly. I've also never had so fast a crash either after a sarge seemed to be going so well. I think I was doing quite well until I failed the shit test. She gave me open body language early in the set and maintained it until she busted me out. She started off seeming as bored as her first comment suggested, but she brightened up quickly. She was smiling, giggling, and maintaining eye contact.

Contrast this to this girl I sarged at a bookstore last week. We ended up talking for like 30-40 minutes at the bookstore, and then I met her for a Day 2 today. She didn't seem nearly into me initially as this HB at CPS.

I remember reading that the fact that CPS HB shit tested me shows that she felt I was a contender. If she thought I was some loser from the beginning, she would have "gotten back to work" sooner. I just didn't know what to say at the time. If I could do it over, I would have just ignored her comment, and then went into another routine. I'm glad I opened this girl as I previously would have been intimidated b/c she was so hot. A few minutes later I opened a HB6.5 at Starbucks and she was lot colder to me than this HB8.5 was. It just goes to show you that you shouldn't be afraid to open the hotter girls b/c the less attractive ones aren't necessarily going to be more into you right away.

2006-04-24T16:16:00.000-05:00

Finishing off Approach Anxiety: Sarging is like a RPG?:

Last night, Seamas and I talk extensively about sarging. He finally watched some of Mystery's DVD material and got inspired by all the new material. He also had listened in earlier in the day to an approach I made at Starbucks. First, I'll write a brief report about the Starbucks set and then, more importantly, I'll explain a VERY important realization that I made.
Starbucks approach:
I saw three sets at Starbucks late Sunday afternoon. I was on the phone with Seamas the whole time so I didn't want to approach this blonde who was sitting near my table. Instead, I got a refill and approached this HB with glasses on the other side of the Streets of Woodfield Starbucks. She was alone and was obviously doing some work as she had a laptop in front of here. I took the headset out of my ears and walked over (I had told Seamas he could listen in and then just hang up when he got bored). I did the tent opener. About 40 secs into the set, I just sat down while I was talking b/c I've learned that if you keep standing up, it makes you look low value b/c you're less comfortable than the set.

I thought it was going well b/c she lowered the laptop screen so she could focus on our conversation. We also maintained eye contact. (I think I need to hold eye contact for longer. I'm always afraid of looking psycho, but they say if you blink, it's okay to hold it for long periods.) She ended up being into travel so I got her thinking about her past trips. When you get someone to recall good memories, they also recall the good feelings they have associated with those memories and they attribute some of the good feelings to you. We talked until she said she had to go. I then asked, "What steps can we take to make sure we can talk again?" She responded, to my surprise, "I have a boyfriend." I went another 20% as Mystery recommends and said, "Is he not open to you meeting new people?" She said no and that was that.

I got some constructive criticism from Seamas. First, he said he could tell I was nervous at the opener, but I slowly did get more comfortable. I realize now that when I get good, I'll be comfortable the whole time which will put the girl at ease. He said I also was too linear with my conversation and I should work on using Mystery's multi-thread theory. In addition to that, I noticed that I was still speaking too softly. I know I this problem but I'm afraid of overcompensating by talking too loudly. For now, I just have to try to talk louder even if I end up overcompensating b/c that's better than talking too softly. I also need to throw in negs, though I don't think they were necessary here. I should also sit closer to the HB so I could kino.

Approach Anxiety holding back progress:

I've always known this to be true. The community stresses that field practice is the ONLY way to really get better. It's great that I've read theory, but reading isn't going to get me farther. This morning, I recognized that I've made great progress, but I also respected the long, difficult path that I still need to follow to become a PUA. I thought about all the improvement that I still need to make to my game. I tried to plan some conversation, but I really began to understand how progress is only going to come from more sets. I probably need a few thousand more sets to get past the rAFC level and every time I don't approach a set or practice game, I'm just postponing my progress. If I keep avoiding sets, that it'll just take that much longer to become a PUA. Instead of 2-3 years, it might take 5-6 years. For every set that I approach, I improve my game slightly. I learn calibration, I get more comfortable with my material, and I feel good. I do realize that getting rejected is that bad. I'm also starting to frame the rejection better. After the Starbuck's failure, I blamed my game. I used to tell myself that I got rejected b/c she thought I was a loser. I worried that I'd never be able to attract women. Now, I just realize that it's my game. All I have to do it approach more sets and I'll fix my problems.
Game on always:
While I make a lot of approaches now, I seem to have an on-off button for my game. When I decide that I'm going out sarging, I get myself into a state where I'm ready to approach. When I'm out running errands or hitting the gym, I'm in an off state. I need to put myself into a default "on" state. There are women working at the gym and working out. I don't need to run game like I normally would on sets, but I need to get friendly. I need to say, "Hi" to everyone. I focused on that early in the game b/c I needed to get more comfortable with social situations in general, but lately, I've been feeling that it's not worth the effort. I now realize that every bit of practice helps. I also should be friendly and flirtatious with all the hired guns I run into, especially the ones that I'll see frequently. If I run good game at the gym girls, eventually some of them will really start to like me.
RPG goals:
I always loved how you knew how many experience points or tasks you needed to complete in a roleplaying game to get to the next level. Of course, it's hard to define the levels in this PUA game, but I think it might be useful to just set some temporary and long term goals. I had fun counting approaches and now I'm going to do it again. I had a problem defining approaches, but I think I have a solution. I'm going to define an approach as a genuine attempt to run game. If I open a girl and she busts out my opener, that counts an approach. Just saying, "Hi" with no real attempt to run game is not an approach, but I'm going to start counting that. I figure if I give myself some numbers to check off, I'll get more into the game, much like I've gotten into RPG's in the past.

-Say "Hi" to 400 guys
-Say "Hi" to 300 girls
-Make 100 approaches
-Get day 2's that don't flake
-Get 1 lay

I think those are reasonable goals, but some of them are probably too easy. Saying, "Hi" is simple, but at least this will force me to do that. I'm going to keep a running count of each thing. I'll also track # closes and the percentage of flakes.

2006-04-20T23:25:00.000-05:00

Daytime Sarging at Oakbrook Mall:

It was a beautiful day today so I decided to go sarging at Oakbrook Mall which is an outdoor mall. It was fun, but it wasn't so good for sarging. First, most of the sets were moving sets. ASF wisdom says that moving sets are the hardest to open. Next, a lot of the lone wolves that you see seated are on the phone or have baby strollers. Finally, it takes a long time to find quality sets so it's easy to fall out of state.

The good thing about the mall is that you have a ton of hired guns to work on. I went into a few stores and if there were no HB hired guns, I'd just talk to any woman employee and ask about the products. I'd make funny comments if they came to my head. I'd also relate some story if approriate. For example, I went into Harry & David's and asked about fruit cakes. The woman said they only sell fruit cakes around Christmas. Then, I told her about the forty year old fruit cake I heard about on the radio. I'll say that practicing talking on hired guns helps. I learned I was talking to softly when the woman at Harry and David's couldn't hear me. I also felt in a better mood since I had actually talked to a few women.

I ejected from a Marshall Fields set like a moron :(

After I was warmed up, I found myself walking through Marshall Fields. I was trying to talk to my mother on the phone but I had lost the connection so I was making my way out of the store. Just as I was about to exit, I made eye contact with this hired gun who had a jar of moisturizer in her hand. Clearly, she was assigned to demostrate and sell the stuff, but there was no one in her area. I said, "Hi" b/c we had made eye contact then I walked over. I asked what she was selling and she told me. I told her that I had asked about moisturizers at Bath and Body works. Then, I ran the tent opener. We talked about that for a bit. I started to talk about how nice it was outside. I ejected soon after that. I realize now it was b/c I felt uncomfortable. Part of me still believes that I'm bothering her so I wanted to eject. Of course, she was probably bored and welcomed some distractions, especially from a cute guy with game :) I have to remember that I'm doing girls a favor, even hired guns. If they want me to eject, they can always say that they have to get back to work, or that they'll get in trouble if we keep chatting. I should have kept plowing through this set and I probably could have closed her.

Tommorrow, I'm going to hit another mall and try more day game. I need to wake up early and get there when it lunch time. When I've met Beata for lunch, there have been a ton of good looking lone wolves who are out for lunch. I just have to remember that I need to run fast game so I can close them b/4 they have to back to work. I can also run game on the hired guns, and this time I won't eject. I should go into as many stores as I can and just pretend to look at stuff.

2006-04-20T22:50:00.000-05:00

#Close at bookstore, then busted up at Alumni Club:

I was going to go to the bar tonight, but I just felt tired and out of it, so I decided to KJ by reading the mASF forums and writing a field report for Tuesday. My plan Tuesday was to hit the bookstore and then use my free Mixmaster Throwdown print out to get into Dakota's for free. Things got messed up b/c this girl that I had been sarging called me up to complain about this AFC boyfriend. (Yeah, I know...) The good thing is that talking to her got me into a talkative state, which I think ended up helping me. When I got off the phone with the myspace girl, I went into Border's and went into the bathroom. On the way in, I spotted this cute brunette. I told myself that I needed to sarge her when I came out.

HBbookstore:

I walked out of the rest room and turned towards where I saw the HB. She was still there so I walked past and then hovered near her for about 2-3 seconds and then I opened her. I was planning on using my tent opener, but I ended up asking about the new Seattle's Best Coffee place. She didn't know anything about the new coffee shop so then I went into the tent opener. I don't really remember the entire conversation. I actually should have written this report on Tuesday when it was fresh b/c it's been awhile since I've had a good set. I just remember that I had thought so much about how I need to be more descriptive and colorful when speaking that I actually did this. I did my best to describe whatever I was talking about so she could start to picture what I was describing in my head. Then, I tried to talk about what emotions I was feeling. For example, I described looking up at the stars in Hawaii:

I remember how amazing the sky was in Hawaii. It's so different there b/c you don't have the light pollution that you do here. I remember looking up and it almost didn't seem real. There were starts everywhere it the sky. I couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and awe as I looked up. I wondered about what was out there and I pondered whether or not someone, on some other planet, was doing the same thing. I also remember feeling so small as I appreciated the size of the cosmos.

We talked for about 20-30 minutes. She was giving me IOI's in two ways. First, we had deep eye contact going on. I remember that we had two or three pauses in the conversation. The conversation momentarily stopped but we still help eye contact and gazed into each other eyes. I had definitely reached the hooking point b/c I remember that two of those times, she reinitiated the conversation by asking me questions. Her attention was totally on me: I remember one time looking over at a shelf to my right and I saw that she too looked over.

Later in the set, I felt that I might be running out of stuff to say, so I decided to number close using one of the Player Guide techniques. I said, "Well, I have to go meet my friends at Dakota's. (I had mentioned I was headed to the bar.) I have an intuition that when we get a chance to talk without time constraints or interruptions, we'll really enjoy each other company. I was wondering if there's a number where you'd feel comfortable having me call you." She smiled and said yes. I actually fumbled on a few of the words for that close, but she didn't seem to mind. She did say something when I whipped out my trusty notepad and pen. She said, "I see you're prepared." I remember getting shit-tested about this in FL (the girl had asked if I do this a lot). I used the same excuse I used then: I said that I use my notepad to write down any negative thoughts that I can't purge from my head. She noticed it was blanked but I quickly replied that I tear them out when I get home.

Just as she was about to write my phone number, I asked her name b/c we actually hadn't exchanged names. I don't like introducing myself early in the sarge b/c it's an IOI if the girl asks you for your name. As she was telling me her name, I extended my hand and shook her hand. I made sure to hold her hand a bit longer than expected and I looked deeply into her eyes when I told her my name. I always try to remember how Jack Nicholson did this in Witches of Eastwick.

After she gave me the notepad back, I decided to try to set up the Day 2 now. I know that numbers don't mean anything and it's often hard to set up a day 2 even after you've gotten the phone number. You call, and then she doesn't answer. You have to wait for her to call back, and they often don't so you have to call again. I wanted to avoid all that, so I asked her if she'd like to get coffee at the Streets of Woodfield Starbucks. I asked her when she was free, but before she could say anything, I said, "Let me think about what I'm doing this week... I'm actually busy the rest of this week so how about next week?" (I said the actual day and we agreed on a time.)

Tonight, I found out the number is solid. I forgot to call it on Tuesday so I could give her my number and verify the phone #. I also forgot to give her the phone call rules. It's been so long since I've #closed so I'm out of practice, but I'll remember that stuff next time. I got her voice mail tonight, as I expected. Still, it looks like it's still on.

Alumni Club Tuesday:
Since it was too late to use my free pass for Dakota's I decided to save $5 and hit Alumni Club. That was a mistake. I'll never go there on Tuesday again as it was a total sausage fest. I felt I had a solid number close as I had talked to the girl for a long time and felt a connection, but I wanted to get more numbers so I wouldn't be too nervous when I called. I thought things were going great when I chatted up some girl on the dance floor. She was playing with her phone and I told her it would be easier to talk if she wasn't on the dance floor. I asked her some other stuff, and she asked me something. I couldn't hear well so I asked her to come to a different part of the club. She agreed, which surprised me, but as we were walking there, she started to make objections. I told her we were just going somewhere quieter. I stopped about halfway between the dance floor and where I wanted to go b/c she was losing interest.

I chatted with her for about 3-4 minutes. I thought it was going okay, but she kept wondering where her friend was. She said the AFC friend had a shot for her. I told her she could get another one from the shot girl. We continued the conversation, but then she brought up the objection again. She then said she was going to find her friend, but "Come find me later." That's usually BS so I didn't bother. I should've reapproached anyway, but oh well.

Warpigs:
I saw these three fat girls at a table near Golden Tee. I decided to open them as there weren't many sets. I got along with the girl closest to me and another girl on the opposite table started to warm up to me. I was doing pretty well, but I couldn't engage the girl that was farthest from me. That ended up being my undoing. At one point, she asked, "Where are you friends?"
Me: I was supposed to meet up with a buddy but he ended up not coming b/c he wife wouldn't let him out. I decided I'd come out anyway.
Warpig: Oh yeah. Call him up and let me straighten him out.
Me: He's sleeping.
Warpig: You're no fun. Call him up.
Me: No.
Warpig: Well, then you can get the fuck out of here. You're no fun.
Me: (I start laughing that she's being like this. )
Warpig: What are you laughing about? I was serious.
Me: (I start with the negs). What's wrong with your friend here? Geez. Where's her off button? You need to cut her off.

The girl on the opposite table started to apologize for her friend but I knew I couldn't stay in this set with this abuse. I said, "Well, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'm going to let your friend calm down there and maybe I'll come back later. I'm not going to take this."

Was going to Neg an HB, but got my opener busted instead:

Later in the night, I saw this HB8 or possibly 8.5. She was thin, had decent size breasts, and she was a few inches taller than me. I remember thinking that I should try a neg, but then I ran my opener.

Me: Hey, I want to get an opinion on something. It'll only take a sec. Would you date a guy that lived in a tent?
HB: And on that note (backturn).
Me: (I start laughing).

I guess my read was right. I should have negged b/c she had her shields on maximum. I have gotten blown out on openers b/4, but it was usually b/c the girl couldn't hear me. The close I've come was when some girl waved me off at Cadillac Ranch. I started to laugh that time too and the girl actually saw it. This situation bothered me b/c the girl couldn't see me laughing at her. As I think back on it, I should have approached again, and talked to the friend. I then could have negged this girl by saying, "She doesn't get out much does she?" If the HB said something obnoxious, I would have said, "I actually was talking to you so I could talk to your friend here."
The whole situation is funny b/c the girl was hot, but the girls from the redhead set at Barleycorn on Saturday were way hotter and they actually listened to me for 3+ minutes.

2006-04-16T09:32:00.000-05:00

Solving stall points/boring conversation points:

As I lay awake in bed last night, I thought about my game, of course. I wrote last time that I definitely need to add negs to my game, but then I realized what I really need to work on now. For the past six months, I've had to work on big issues: developing alpha body language and attitudes, working on inner game, destroying self-limiting beliefs, and probably most important, eliminating approach anxiety. I've progressed far in solving many of those issues so now it's time to work on some finer points of my game. Last night, I determined that I really need to work on using spoken language to create emotion and vivid imagery in the women I sarge. As I write this paragraph, I also realize that I need to work on feeling less nervous when I'm actually in set, especially with the hotter sets I'm now approaching. I think this will take care of itself as I do more approaches. As I get more and more practice, I'll just feel more comfortable.

As a guy, I keep making the mistake of focusing on facts. When a woman brings up a topic, I need to do my best to use that topic as a way to get into patterning. This post in fastseduction.com about "Fluff Talk" is a great starting point. When a woman says she likes a certain activity, I have to do my best to describe the emotions that the activity invokes. I can also use my words to help stimulate my target's imagination. For example, when I asked the HB's at Barleycorn on Saturday about travel, one girl talked about visiting Paris and Rome. I could have said something like, "I remember going to Rome when I was younger. There was something magical about being in Italy, but more than that, I felt as if being there helped take my mind back in time. I remember seeing some of the Roman ruins and I found myself picturing the chariots or the Roman soldiers walking around." And so on... The problem is that I have a hard time spontaneously coming up with such responses.

The solution also hit me last night. In future entries, I'll try to recall specific points in conversations where I knew I was stalling or where I couldn't think of a reply that would make the conversation more interesting. I'll then craft some better responses. For example, I'll write out some responses that use patterning. I'll write down any interesting stories that come to mind. I'll figure out other topics towards which I can move the conversation. Over several months, I'll have so many responses built into my routine that I'll really be able to relax. I'll be able to spark women's imaginations and emotions at points where I used to stall.

2006-04-16T05:15:00.000-05:00

Goals and Affirmations:

-I need to make more an more approaches, of course. I'll do club game at least once on the weekdays: either Alumni Club on Tuesday, Cadillac Ranch on Wednesday, or I should actually give North Beach a try on Thursday. I haven't tried sarging there, but have heard it's a good venue from other people. I go out either Friday or Saturday. I'm leaning towards hitting Alumni Club on Sat since I had that good experience last week.

-More day game. I should go to the mall/bookstore at least every other day. I get some confidence from doing the eye contact experiement. It's hard to open moving sets, but I can try to lock eye contact. It feels so good when they lock eye contact too and smile. Of course, I should try to open those lone wolves as that is an approach invitation. As I said in another entry, that Streets of Woodfield Starbucks is loaded with targets around 5PM. I should go there then or in the evening.

-I need to remember to always throw in a time constraint in my opener.

-NEGS: This is key. Now that I'm brave enough to approach the HOT women, I have to throw in negs. I have a few memorize but I've never actually thrown one in. I feel awkward using them, but I just have to try and I'll get used to doing it. Here at the ones i have memorized (all from Mystery): 1) Your nose wiggles when you talk; 2) I like that skirt. I just saw another girl wearning that same skirtat X bar; 3) I like that blouse, those seem to be popular nowadays; 4) You're hair would look better/up down; 5) "Are those nails real?" "No? Oh, well, they still look nice. I can just tell I'm not getting anywhere when I talked to hot girls and I don't use a neg. I've noticed that I've been getting busted out very quickly by hotties. This will help give me more time.

-Vibing. I need to try vibing a bit. I noticed today that I couldn't have normal conversation. I find myself too busy trying to through in routines that I forget that you can still vibe with a person without it. Jason knew no routines, but he new how to say funny stuff and vibe. I need to learn how to do that. I'll try but not forcing myself to just spew out routines. I found myself just reciting my follow up tent routines. One time a girl was trying to give an real answer and I just steamrolled her with my followup. Now, that's alpha to care what she's saying, but it doesn't hurt to listen to their answer.

-Have a goal. I'll try for solid number closes which means I should try to stay in set for at least 10 minutes. 20 minutes is preferable. I just have to remember that even though a fast close is likely to flake, I still shouldn't avoid closing if some time constraints occurs. Even though I got busted up at Big Bowl, I'm still glad I attempt. On the other hand, I'm pissed that I didn't try to number close that one girl last week . Not the married girl, but the one who I had a good vibe with from the beginning, but who's friends happened to be leaving. I didn't try to close b/c I figured she'd flake, but I should have tried anyway. There is a small chance that she might not have flaked. Besides, I need the practice anyway and #closing feels good even if the number flakes later.

-This goes along with the previous, but this is specific. When I meet these out of town girls, I have to follow what Gunwitch says. Basically, I have to escalate fast and try to get a fclose. I've realized that the fclose is the only option, but I've still been running the game as I normally do. I need to kino escalate faster and try to get her buying temperature up quickly. Sure, I might creep her out, but that's okay. As Mystery explains in his DVD, I'm in a public gathering so the worse case scenario is that they'll get up and leave. I'm missing possible lays but not trying to escalate faster. I keep thinking about how I could have gotten somewhere with the married chick last week. Even if i had just gotten a kiss or makeout, I would have felt great and my inner game would have benefited greatly.

-This is basic stuff but I need to keep showing up. (That's what I said in 1&2). I need to believe that I'm going to make this game happen and I need to believe that I deserve hot girls in my life. I have to keep remembering that it's really hard to go up to random girls and pick them up. Very few guys can actually do this consistently. I'm doing better than 90% or even 95%+ of the guys out there who can't even make one approach at the bar. I need only look back at my first entries in this blog to remind myself of where I was six months ago. I keep repeating this in every entry, but that's because part of me wants to feel frustrated that I still haven't gotten a day 2 out of all this. Sure, I had a social circle fool's game hookup in January. Without the game, I might not have made that happen, but I have yet to actually pickup a RANDOM girl. I know when I finally lay a random girl, my games going to improve vastly. Since I haven't done that, I have to keep focusing on what progress I've made since the Halloween party. Back then, I could barely approach 2-3 sets all night. Some days, I could make any approaches. Even with crappy game, I've had several lay opportunities that I just failed to recognize or capitalize on in 6 months. Now, I'm approach all but the most difficult sets. (I still doubt that I can open a huge 8 set, which is why I didn't open this one set at Lion Head.) I was afraid to open hot girls, now I'm doing it more often.

Success is around the corner. I truly believe that.

2006-04-16T04:34:00.000-05:00

Zero approach anxiety, zero vibe:

Tonight was a great success as I opened amost all the sets I saw. As recently as two weeks ago, I'd get scared to approach certain sets if they were filled with hotties. We went to Barleycorn and Lion Head Pub/The Apartment on Lincoln Ave in Chicago. At Barleycorn, there was this set with two hotties, at least 8 or 8.5. On was a strawberry blonde with a nice rack, and the other was a good looking blonde. It took me awhile to make the approach, but I did it eventually. I got busted out quickly, by my friends were impressed that I lasted a few minutes. I know what went wrong. I ran my opener as usual, and I remembered to put in a false time constraint. I told myself I was going to practice putting in a neg, but I couldn't think of one to use when I got in set. I keep looking at the girl's outfits, which probably looked like I was looking at their tits, so it's not suprising that I got blown out quickly. Still, I felt good about making the approach as they were hot.

Prior to that set, I opened a seated three set of HB6.5-7. They had a hard time hearing me, and I had a hard time hearing their responses. I got busted out, but we later creeped them out. I keep looking over there to see if we should approach again, and my friends kept looking. We got busted staring at them several times so they ended up moving to a different table out of our view. That was bad...

The wing is greater than the lead:

At the apartment, I opened two southern HB's that were standing by the pool table. Jason was in the process of ordering drinks when I decided to make my move. When I'm standing around, I don't like just walking up to a set b/c I feel it shows that I've been thinking too long about approaching. I like to either go to the washroom or walk somewhere and pretend to be on the phone. Then, when on the way back to my group, I turn to the set as I'm about to walk by them, and I open. I got past my tent opener and was about to explain the best friend's test when Jason walked up. He had my drink, but at the time I thought he was coming up as I had instructed him. He handed me his drink and started to walk away, which was good. Since he forgot to use the line, I said, "Hey man. Have you seen Lisa?" He said, "No." Then, I said, "Hey, you should meet these girls." If I remember correctly, I accomplishment introed him by saying he's one of the smartest guys I know, but he doesn't use big words to show off. Plus, he's a great dancer and an outgoing guy. I either accomplishment introed him when he walked up, or I did it just prior to him walking up.

Jason started talking to the HB on the left, and I talked to the one on the right. Partially b/c of better vibing skills, and partially b/c of my accomplishment intro, he was getting along well with his girl. He still doesn't know how to read body language sometime, b/c when I debriefed, he didn't realize that the girl had been into him. She was facing him and I kept hearing them laughing about various things. On the other hand, I was doing a poor job with my target. He never fully faced me and occasionally she would look over to try to join the conversation. I knew I was doing something wrong, but every subject I tried to bring up failed to hook her. As I keep asking questions, I knew I was messing up b/c I looked like I was too rapport seeking. Then, I kept thowing in random games. I ran ESP test and failed. Then I tried to Cube her, and she didn't want to do it. I felt like a fuckup b/c Jason was doing well, and I wasn't. On top of that, since I failed to hold the target, she ended up making her friend leave with her. I think Jason should have tried to isolate, but he doesn't really know what he's doing. I wanted to isolate, but I knew it wasn't going to work since I hadn't hooked her. Still, we held the set for about 10 minutes. Jason definately could have #closed, but they were from out of town and leaving on Monday, so an fclose was the only real way to get anywhere.

Mixed 4 set:
At one point, my friends were boing AFC's and wouldn't believe the theory I was spouting. Now that I think back, I should spout so much theory. I can't expect nonASF people to believe the info I'm spouting, even though I know it to be true. It's good that I made this mistake, however, b/c it forced me to open this set. I spotted three girls that were hovering around one guy. We had been talking about how you have to talk to guys. Jason hates talking to guys at the bars. I explained that I don't care to talk to them either, but I do so b/c it's necessary for the game. Then, Jason said that he just doesn't think it's possible to open a set with a guy in it. Of course, I remembered Mystery saying that a 2 girl, 1 guy set is easier to open than an all girl set. Mystery explains that a girl 2 set has been approached several times in the night . The mixed set, however, likely hasn't been b/c most guy think like Jason and won't approach b/c there's a guy there. Chances are, though, that only one of the girls is actually with the guy, so you are free to pick up the girl.

I told Jason I'd show him that you can approach mixed sets. I walked up to the guy and started talking to him. I asked him what bars he'd recommend as he seemed to have it going on. After all, he had three girls with him. We BSed a little bit, and then I asked how he knew these girls. He said he knew them through college. On top of that, I must have opened him well because he offered to introduce the girls. He introduced a cute blonde. Later, he introduced the birthday girl and the third girl. My mistake was that I couldn't think of a way to open the girls right away so they got bored after meeting me. On top of that, the 4 set was really a 6 set with two other AFC's. A few minutes after I was talking to this dude, the two AFC's announced that they wanted to go dance. I don't know if they really did or were threatened by me since I hadn't opened them. I would have chatted with them if I had known they were with the girls earlier.

Still, this was a great learning experience, and I think I'll be opened more mixed sets in the future. I always understood the theory, but I've only approached mixed sets a few times (less than 5) prior to today. Now that I saw how easy it can be, I'll be approaching more mixed sets in the future. I do notice that I can easily vibe with guys, so that's a good in. Now, I just need to learn to vibe as easily with women. When I can do that, I believe I'll have advanced past the rAFC stage.

AFC friends:

My one buddy doesn't really know about the game and is married. He doesn't totally believe in the theory I'm reading and Seamas is right when he says that my buddy probably also is threatened by the fact that I'm able to do what most guys can't do. Well, I want to be able to pull in the bars, but just being able to open a bunch of random sets is amazing to non community people. If my old BAFC self would have seen someone doing what I did today, I would have thought he was a PUA god. Anyway, my buddy was giving me shit b/c I opened some random girl on the streets. He said I was like Trent in Swingers which I take as a complement. He interprets the movie different that us community guys. Community guys want to be like Trent. My buddy thought Trent was created as an exaggeration of the club party guy. He says you're supposed to laugh at how ridiculous Trent is and not want to be like him. I argued a bit, but let it slide. Later, they are telling me not to be a party guy and criticizing my game. Finally, I got sick of it and did what never would have occurred to me prior to learning games stuff (especially alpha/dominant male stuff).

I told them that I believe the theories I'm learning and I don't care if they don't like it. I told them to stop making BS comments b/c those comments would eventually pull me out of state. My frame is so much stronger now that the comments weren't having that effect, but just a few weeks or months ago, it might have made me self-conscious about approaching for the rest of the night. I also said something like, "Look, we're not having an alpha male contest here. Stop making comments. I'm going to run this game as I know how to do." And they shut up, at least until the end of the night. My buddy was really drunk so I don't care that he started again at the end of the night. When I finally dropped him off and he was sober, he said he'd try to actually be a wing next outing.

2006-04-15T03:23:00.000-05:00

Two daygame sets & Am I becoming a social robot?

Some plans got cancelled so I decided to go to this birthday dinner at Big Bowl. This particular Big Bowl is in the Streets of Woodfield mall. I was in there a few days ago to hang out with my ex and I noticed there were a lot of targets there. As I pulled near Starbucks, I saw a three set sitting outside of Jamba Juice. I was on the phone with a buddy and I decided that I was going to approach that set.

My approach anxiety has lessened as I opened that set without even warming up. I walked right up and ran the tent opener on them. Immediately they all focused on me, and I noticed two AFC's in the table next door looked at me like I was some PUA god as they listened to my speech. When I did my usual romance novel follow up, the blonde said, "Those women in the romance novels don't fall in love with the pool guy, they have sex with him and go back to their husbands." I like a woman who's comfortable talking about sex, but I was starting to get nervous running the set. I didn't know how to keep entertaining this three set, so I decided to call it a good warmup and move on. I'll get more comfortable running sets in the day time, but I'm still happy with what I did. I've definately made huge progress over even three weeks ago as I am now opening more than ever.

I was running late so I headed over to Big Bowl after I used the washroom at this department store. I didn't open any sets, but I did hold eye contact with this late 30-something blonde. She smiled which made me feel good. I suppose I should have tried to open her but I was walking the opposite direction. At big bowl, I stood around waiting for my friends and looking for sets. I was scoping out this set that got immediate seating when my buddy walked in. I wanted to open them but coudln't think of how to do it, so I went to my standby. I like it to look like I just happened to walk by when I do my opener. When I've been standing around for too long, I feel awkward. I went to the restroom and then came back. I came upon my buddy having some discussion about his haircut. He was saying that guys say he looks older and women think he looks younger. I opened the set by getting their opinion. My friend turned back after I opened, so I had to entertain the set. I ran the tent on them and then I started to ask some other questions. The appetizers arrived and I remembered that women hate to be bothered while eating so I tried to eject. This light skinned girl (who I later learned was Mexican, though she didn't look like it) asked me another question to keep me in the set. I took this as an IOI. I still wanted to eject b/c of the food, and b/c the other girl, an Korean girl was looking annoyed that I was there.

Fast foward about 15 minutes . We finally get seated and I'm thinking that I should have number closed. I ask this girl who's the birthday boy's girlfriend. (BTW, she was totally my type. Too bad she's not single. She's 5'11" and blonde which is what i like. She was a little chunky, but not really fat, but I'm starting too appreciate that more.) She says that I should number close or I'll keep thinking about it. I knew the answer, but I felt that I needed to hear it from someone else.

I went to the washroom and then went over to the girls. They were finishing their meal. I said, "Hi" and then used a new ASF close that I memorized, "I have an intuition and I don't know if you can imagine this as I describe it. When we get a chance to talk without time constraints or interruptions, we'll really enjoy each other's company. I was wondering if there's a number where you'd feel comfortable having me call you."

The girl said no, supposedly b/c she was seeing someone. I probably should have gamed them a bit before trying to close. After I got rejected, I tried to eject, but they pulled me in with some questions about my ethnic background. The girls kept wanting to talk for some reason. I'm wondering if I should have closed the Korean girl instead.

Social Robots:
I got interrupted when writing this blog, so this is short. I noticed that I don't have as much fun in none-sarging related activites as I used to. The bowling was fun, but then I started to get bored b/c there were no girls to sarge. Well, there was an attractive girl, but she was taken. Seamas later told me that I should have "sarged" her to see if she could hook me up with a single friend. He's probably right.

2006-04-13T03:49:00.000-05:00

Busted out by boring girls:

I didn't really feel like going out tonight, but I knew that I had to go out and practice. Saturday was a good night and I was hoping to build on that. I got to Cadillac Ranch around 1am. There were a good amount of people for a Wednesday, but I've seen it busier. I took longer than usual to get warmed up. I need to be doing some sort of sarging at least every other day. I don't have to go to the club; I can go to Starbucks or the bookstore. In fact, I really should be working more on day game. More on that later.

I talked to about 5 guys before I got warmed up. Later, I opened just about every set that I was interested in with two exceptions. I had to talking to this cool tall guy who pointed out a stripper set. Part of me wanted to approach to test my game out, but I never did. I would have gotten busted out but I need the practice. The funny thing is that I didn't think they were the hottest girls in the club. The other was this chubby, but very cute blonde that I had talk to two weeks ago. I couldn't find her alone and I didn't feel comfortable opening the huge 6 mixed set she constantly rolled with. Plus, I already used my good openers on her. She seems to go there a lot, so I'll see her again.

Boring girls:
I only ejected out of two sets and I think it was good to do so. I seemed to know how to pick boring girls tonight. I had several girls tell me the usual thing that they don't do anything except barhop and work. No travel, of course. Several of them even said that they weren't adventurous. I was in a two set for a few minutes. The girls had met at work so I was doing okay with isolation as the other girl wasn't trying to cockblock, even though she was bored. It looked like I picked the wrong one to talk to though. She wouldn't tell me any adventure stories and she wouldn't do the trust test. Then, she told me she had stories, but she would never tell me any of them. I decided to eject b/c I wasn't getting anymore. What I probably should have done was turn and talk to the other girl. I could have used the Mystery line, "I've been alienating your friend here." I don't think this girl would have cockblocked either.

I opened two boring lone wolves too. One was a cute, and somewhat busty blonde that I had seen walking around by herself. She later told me she was with guy friends. I ran tent on here. Then, she told me she wasn't adventurous. All she does it work and go to school. I ran Mystery's "What do you want to be when you grow up, and don't say princess." The girl responds with, "I don't know." Blah. She could see we weren't getting anywhere as she actually ejected herself. The only was this short, petite blonde. I had talked to this black dude earlier. I was just standing around when I saw this blonde standing next to the wall. I see the black dude come and try his game. He had some natural game. He started with kino. He went with direct game by telling her she's cute and asking her name. He has confidence, but I think his lines are too typical. He got busted out in like 30 seconds, so I turned and ran my tent opener. She was very similar to the busty girl. She wasn't adventurous. I asked her, "What your story?" Her: I don't have one. Me: Do you travel? Her: I don't have time. Me: What would you do for fun if you had more time. Her: I don't know. Me: Okay, you're very pretty. What do you have going for you besides your looks? Her: What do you mean? Me: Beauty is common. I'm trying to see what you having for you besides looks? Her: I don't know. Me: Do you realize that you've told me that you aren't adventurous and you have nothing going for you?

I decided to eject and I said, "Think about your responses, and maybe I'll be back later." Now, the problem here could have been that I didn't demonstrate enough value. I suppose PUA's would have told some stories and kept plowing. In retrospect, I could have tried to cube her or something but I just felt stuck. I guess I forget what Mystery says, "When you're stuck, try to go and extra 20%."

Day game:
I'm not giving up night game as I still feel like I'm close to some success. I keep blowing off day game. I met my ex at Starbucks earlier in the day, and there were a bunch of girls there. There were also a lot of girls shopping. I need to be as quick to open in day game as I am at the club and I'll start to see some results. I probably am more likely to find a girl that I'd really be interested in at Starbucks or the bookstore rather than the bar on a weekday. You get a lot of the boring party girls on weekdays. At least on the weekends, there are more regular people out at the bars.

2006-04-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

Self-limiting beliefs again:

The more I think about last night, the more I realize how much self-limiting beliefs are holding me back. HBhat was giving me a bunch of IOI's so I should have run regular game on her. I should have isolated her from the group, which would have been easy, and then run comfort routines (like the questions game and the cube) while doing kino escalation. I remember that she said two or three times that there was something different about me than the other guys that were trying to sarge her friends. In my bad frame, I thought she was saying that I was falling into the friend zone which is usually what happens. I know this was different. She had shit-tested me and I had passed. After she realized I was going to easily be impressed like AFC's, she started to get insecure and kept asking if she looked her age. I realized that I had to give a little her, so I said she looked nice. When I took her hat off, though, I should have ran my hand through her hair. I also could have touched her face and looked deeply into her eyes and told her that she looked good.

The most important hint that I believed I missed was when she brought up cheating. She said that the large girl was the faithful one. She said her friend's husband had cheated. She even pointed out how the blonde wasn't wearing her wedding ring, but the larger girl was. The community would say that she had let me know that she was married so I'd know what to expect, but she probably was more than willing to sleep with me if I ran good game. The only reason I didn't is that I immediately figured it would take more game that I had. That's a poor excuse. Even if I would have messed up, it would have helped me a ton if I could have isolated her and practiced my middle and late game.

Assume it's always on:
The community recommends that you adopt that frame that it's always on. I should have assuemd it was on with HBhat until I was proven wrong. When I sarge sets and they haven't opened up yet, I shouldn't leave. I should frame that as them playing hard to get and I should keep plowing material until they tell me to leave or they "go to the washroom" or "go dance."

On Confidence:
Working out has definately given me more confidence. I think I've only lost 10-15 lbs, but I feel great. My face looks thinner, my clothes are fitting better, and I can see that I've developed some muscles. I just need to get serious and drop the 30-40 lbs of fat that's hiding my abs. That's not as important as practicing my game, though. I think I'm at the point where I feel as confident with my looks as I'll feel until I'm at my ideal weight. The truth is if I want to become a PUA, continual work on my game will benefit me more than getting to my ideal weight. Sure, being thin and having great muscle definition is going to make things easier, but the opposite is not true. I've been there. If I got into ridiculously great shape and had no game, I'd still get no girls. If I stayed at my weight or got fatter, but developed PUA level game, I'd pull girls nonstop.

2006-04-09T05:13:00.000-05:00

Party guy:

Tonight was finally a good night. It wasn't a great night: that would be getting a kclose of an fclose. Heck, I didn't even get a #close. More on that later.

I went to Alumni Club in Schaumburg. I was sitting at home feeling sorry for myself and then I decided that I needed to go out and practice. I want to get some girls and I've already read enough theory. The only thing I need to do is practice and I'll get better. I called up Jason and he didn't feel like going out tonight. My friend Jpunk was supposed to go sarge in the early evening, but he was busy too. I debated for about 15 minutes before I finally just started getting dressed. My original plan was to check out Border's Bookstore in Schaumburg and then hit Alumni Club. I saw that there was no cover at Alumni if I went before 9PM so I decided to head straight there. I'm better off having two beers instead of paying a cover.

Alumni was dead when I got there at 9pm. The only girls there were hired guns. There were a bunch of guys sitting around and playing the Texas Hold 'em game on the TV. Playing poker was the last thing I wanted to do; if I was going to play, I might as well have stayed home and tried to make money. Since there were not sets, I ended up playing that for an hour and I chatted with this guy next to me.

Married 3-set:
I have no idea how many sets I approached. I talked to at least 12, but again I ejected a few times when I probably shouldn't have. mASF people say to plow through sets just to practice, but if a set stalls, I feel like I'm better off opening another set. Maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, I had seen these three girls walk in around 9:30PM. There were two skinny girls, and a large girl. When I got done playing the poker game, I decided to approach the large girl as I saw her sitting by herself. I used the tent opener and we chatted for a bit. The hot friends showed up and I opened them. I had already found out that it was HBblonde's birthday so I wished her a happy one. The hottest girl was this shorter brunette that was wearing a hat.

HBhat was cool, but unfortunately all of them were married. I know that mASF people say that isn't an issue, but I know my game is still developing. I decided to stick around for social proof and practice. HBhat and I chatted for a bit. A few minutes in, she offered to buy me a shot. She bought 4 shots: one for each of her two friends, one for her, and one for me. As we were doing this some guys came by. One was a guy who I had talked to in the bathroom. His friend started talking to the larger girl. Some other dude started sarging the blonde so I was left talking to the brunette.

I did some kino and maintained eye contact, but that was it. Other than that, we just talked. She did try some tests but I'm too aware of how to deal with this stuff now:
HB: How old are you?
Me: (standard ASF line) How old do you think I am?
HB: 25?
Me: Close. Your friend guessed 26. I'm 28.
HB: How old do you think I am?
Me: Well, your friend already told me you're all 31.
HB: Do I look that old?
Me: Naw, you look like you're in your 20's.

There was some other stuff. At one point, we commented about the guys sarging her friends. I said that they looked like they weren't do too badly. I then did an imitation of bad game by putting my arm around her and leaning over. I said that at least the guys weren't doing that, but most guys have weak game. She asked, "What do you do? Say, 'Hi," and then offer to buy a drink?" Me: No, they have to earn that. Her: Even if they are pretty like me. Me: There are a lot of pretty girls here. It just depends on how they act. Her: You mean I'm not the prettiest girl here? Me: So, you're saying that you're prettier than your friends here? I'm not going to answer b/c there's no right answer.

Later, HBhat started to feel self-conscious and starting asking me if she still looked good. I resisted at first and said, "Come on. You know the answer to that. You two good up to the stage and dance." HB: Yeah, but I'll be doing that when I'm 80. Do I look old? Me: Let me see. (I then took off her hat.) Yeah, you lookcute. HB: Do I look better without the hat? Me: Sure.

She ended up not wearing the hat for the rest of the night. LOL. I could have kept hanging with them, but I decided to use my social proof to open the set behind me.

Ejecting again:
I opened the set behind these married girls b/c I didn't think I could get a fclose, and that would have been my only option. I figured the set would open up easier b/c they could clearly see that I had already been hanging out with some hotties. I ran some routines on them, but then I ejected to talk to other girls. It probably is a mistake. I keep having that "grass is greener on the other side" mentality. I think that somewhere else in the venue is a set that will be a breeze the entire way. I think I ejected out four sets too early today. I hadn't even gotten backturned on these sets, but I decided to leave. I have to keep rereading TD's "State Control" post on Bristol Lair. I keep giving up a possible lay in order to keep the sure thing of having sarged a set well for 3-4 minutes.

Foiled again:
I did have a good sarge that got messed up by bad logistics (again, sigh). I opened this four set that was seated at a table near the dance floor. I saw the girls looking at the dance floor and looing up at the stage area in the middle of the dance floor. I opened one of them by saying, "Hey, it's actually more fun if you get up there." The girl giggled and said they were taking a break. I saw that one blonde friend was just chilling on her chair, so I ran the tent opener on her. I actually remembered to use a false time contraint. (That's been another SP for me. I keep forgetting.) I said, "Hey, I need an opinion on something. It'll only take a sec and then I have to get back to my friends. Would you date a guy that lived in a tent?"

The girl initially said she wouldn't but then I ran my usual follow up. At this point, I felt I reached a hook point. (Though not enough to override the friends, as you'll see.) She responded with a very well thought out answer. After I explained my thoughts on the tent, she agreed. She kept talking. She stopped talking for a second. I didn't say anything, and then she reinitiated a coversation (twice actually) by going on about her tent answer. I knew I was in b/c that's a big IOI. I asked her if she is adventurous. She said she's gone rock climbing. Then she named 6-7 other adventurous activities. I asked about travel, and somehow I found a way to bring up Hawaii. She said she had just come back. (Nice!). She actually had just come back from Maui as she talked about Haleakala and biking down. Just as I was about to ask her more, her friends say, "Hey, we're leaving." She said, "Sorry, I have to go."

I think I should have number closed her. At the time, I figured it was pointless as I didn't get to talk to her as long as I would have liked. She probably would have given me her phone number but it was about a 95-97% chance it would be flake. Still, I had hooked her a bit, and she had qualified herself. I should have said, "I have a feeling. I don't know if you can picture it like I can, but I think if we had a chance to talk without all these distractions and time constraints, we'd have fun." (That similar to an ASF #close routine that I'm actually going to look up after this so I get the wording right.) It wouldn't have hurt to get a flake number. At least I would have had a tiny chance instead of no chance of talking to her again. Oh well. It sucks b/c that was the best set of the night. The married HB's were the best, but this could have went somewhere.

Jealous look:
I'm sure I messed up a set by what I did, but it still felt good to get the look. I had opened this cute HB with glasses earlier. I saw them in the upstairs area so I talked to them again. The HBglasses smiled at me and said, "Hey" when she saw it was me. I chatted briefly and they started dancing. I don't know how to dance so I opened these Eastern European girls. The blonde was cute and reminded me of one of my ex's friends. I was doing okay with her, but I knew the friend was getting bored. I tried to engage the friend, but then I got the sense that the friend was trying to drag her friend away. I didn't want to look stupid in front of the other girls so I ejected.

The only good thing about opening these E European set was that I managed to see HBglasses look when I was in this set. On Fat Tuesday, I saw how all the girls were looking at Jason when he was dancing with hotties. I saw that same look on HBglasses. She had that jealous look. I later saw her walking by as I was talking to this Mexican guy I had met a few months ago. I stopped her and gave a false apology. I said that those E European girls were friends of my ex.

Later, I saw those girls again upstairs. I approached HBglasses. She asked me if I had said I that I ran into my ex. I said that it was friends of her. I then tried to game her, but I think I messed it up. I couldn't keep her attention. She kept looking at the TV that was showing the dance floor. I tried the discount magic trick and the ESP test, but she kept looking back to the TV so I gave up. Mistake?

AMOG:
I went back to the large married girl and this AMOG was standing near her. He didn't realize I had been chatting with them earlier. I stood by her and him and he gave me a look and said something like, "What are you doing?" He was bigger than me and I got the impression that he was trying to intimidate me. LOL. Please. I would have been scared about 6 months ago but now I know how to handle these guys. As I tell my old friends, it's not like I'm at a gangbanger hang out. I looked him in the eye and said, "Hey, what's up man?" Guy: What are you doing? Me: I'm just hanging out man. What's your name?

I still laugh that these big guys think they can intimidate me by just looking at me. It's so funny that the AMOG techniques work. I actually haven't had any escalate once I've looked them in the eye and show by my body posture that they aren't going to scare me like that.

Keep qualifying kid:

I opened these this 21 year old HB. I ran the tent, of course, but then after I finished it, I decided to just see if she would qualify herself. I immediately said, "So what do you have going besides your looks? I mean, you're very pretty, but beauty is common." (from Mystery's DVD's.) I have never tried to qualify that early into the sarge. Well, I've run the adventurous routine, but I never ask so directly like I did here. To my surprise, she said she was finishing school and trying to be a teacher.

I ended up ejecting form this set, and again maybe I shouldn't have. My HB leaned in to talk to her friend. Two guys had also shown up halfway through the sarge. I could tell they were AFC's b/c they were just letting me talk to their friend. When my HB talked to her friend, I started talking to the guys. In retrospect, I should have asked their relations so I could have gotten the full scoop. Later, I saw the HB's sitting there again, but I didn't open them again b/c I was busy opening another set.

Conclusions:
I'm surprised this entry was this long. I figured it would be easy. I guess it's good I described the night in detail so I can look back on this when rough times come. As I've said in other entries, I can see that I'm close to really taking it down. Maybe I'd be closer if I got past this ejection SP. I'm sure doing better than I was a week ago. I've cut down on the hand movementsas Jpunk explained that I was doing it WAY too much.

I actually got the party guy thing down today. I've had good nights where I make some guy friends that I turn into wings, but I never created a social proof set of girls before. Heck, I even got the free shot and those girls were cool. I knew I had those girls hooked when HBhat would say, "Now you can go" after I'd mess with her, and then she immediately say, "No, don't. I'm just kidding." I opened almost every set that I wanted too as well. Sure, there were some girls on the dance floor that I could have opened, but I was constatly talking to different people tonight. I even opened the bachelorette party. I tried to cheer them up b/c they were looking tired and I did get a few of them to smile.

The best thing about tonight is that I didn't even feel like going out. Every time I started to wonder if I was going to be lame (on the way over there) I shut out those thoughts and told myself that I've gotten better since October. I know solid number closes are close. I just have to keep sarging and more nights like this will happen. This sure beats when I creeped out those married girls from Wisconsin.

2006-04-07T05:39:00.000-05:00

Night of the Living AMOG's

I have movie themes in my head lately as I write these entries. One of my grade school buddies read "The Game" a few months ago and has really gotten interested in sarging. Unfortunately, he's currently a KJ. He read all of fastseduction.com and probably bristollair.com, but he has made two approaches. Even worse, he has one-itis with this married woman he's been seeing for a few years. He came over to pay me some dough that he owed me. I wanted him to go out b/c I've been looking for a wing. My best wing is in Florida so I'm stuck here going solo. I figured if he'd go out, I get him more excited about the game. Since he's known me my whole life, he knows how afraid I've been to approach women. I knew that if I went out and opened a bunch of sets, he'd see that it is possible to get past approach anxiety.

Cadillac Ranch at 2am

We rolled into CR at 2am. I knew I'd only have an hour so I wanted to open a bunch of sets. Only two sets were interesting. There were several sets where I opened a lone wolf and ended up having to deal with an AMOG. I've done it so many times that I know I won't get into a fight, but it's just annoying to have wasted a few minutes with a taken girl. Practice is still good.

Warpig set:
I opened this lone wolf warpig. She told me that someone had broken into her house and she come out to the bar to feel better. I bet I had a good chance of fclosing her, but I just wasn't interested. I tried to pull my wing in but he wouldn't talk. This turned out to be a big mistake later. It was good that I opened her as I later spotted a hot friend next to her. She was probably an 8 (my friend said 7.8), but she was a hired gun. She had a really cute face, though. I approached the warpig again so I could try to work on the friend.

The warpig was trying to get drinks so I had a little bit of time with the HB. I ran the ESP test and guessed her number and her eyes lit up. I also ran best friend's test, but then this warpig took over the set. I tried to ask a few questions to slow her down, but she blew off my questions and wouldn't shut up. I decided to eject and said that I was going to go cheer up my friend.

Now that I think about this, I believe I should have kept working the warpig earlier. Then I would have been friendly with her and I would have been able to work the HB hired gun better. The only issue would have been if the warpig started to like me. The good news is that I can come back and joked around with this hired gun later. Too bad she doesn't work Wednesdays, though, which is when I usually go to this place.

No supplication here:
I open this Indian girl and her friend. I open by asking if the friend is going camping b/c she has such a huge purse. The Indian girl then starts asking me if I could do her a favor. I said, "Maybe." She asks if I can go into the bathroom and find this friend of hers. I didn't want to do this b/c I knew it couldn't help me and I felt like I would be a chump if I did. I tried to change the subject. She said he had a striped shirt, so I pointed to some dude with a striped shirt that was making out with some hot blonde. She said that wasn't him. I asked if her friend was sick. She replied that she didn't know. I then said that I didn't want to look for him b/c I didn't want to babysit a drunk. She got pissed and walked away.

I suppose I could have looked for him. If he wasn't there and they were still there I could game them further. Maybe I take this supplication avoidance too far?

2006-04-02T05:24:00.000-05:00

The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly:

Okay, so this entry won't really fit the title, but I couldn't help but think of the movie. Over the past week, I've been feeling more confident again so I've been opening sets. Even if I don't run a real set, at the very least, I'll make any funny comments that come to my head. I'm going to write a brief report on this 5 set that happened later in the night, but I'm going to write about the good and the bad tonight.

The bad:
-I went to my friend's wife's birthday party. I was hoping there would be some quality girls there. She's about to graduate from med school, so all her friends are soon to be doctors also. The only problem is that they are all married/engaged except for some guys. It turns out that one of her female Indian friends is single, but I didn't find out until later in the evening. I'll admit that I was following a self-limiting belief. I didn't get the perfect opportunity to talk to her, but I could have created one. I thought we were going to the bar/club after the party, so I thought I'd get a chance there. It turns out it was the same friend that came out for a Halloween birthday party last year.

I shouldn't make excuses, but I didn't find out until later in the night that she was single and I was already out of state by that time. I was in a 3 way conversation with her and I should have made a better attempt to sarge. Again, this was really bad.

-Later, Jason and I went to the bar. Jason messed up things with this girl that opened him. She said, "I like you. I want to give you a hug." She then started dancing with him. I left him to work his game, but he says she and her friend walked away about 5 minutes after I left. I told him that he should have tried to run more game on her as she was obviously interested.

-When I left Jason with that girl, I saw a mixed 4 set. I think it was actually a three set with some wanna-be Pua talking to the girls. I saw this bored brunette, so I opened her by saying, (for some reason I keep using this opener and I'm not sure if it's shit or not) "Hey, you look like you're at the library. Try to have fun, the bar's not closing yet." As I did this, I said to the guy, "You've gotta cheer your friend up over here." As I did that, the blonde that was in front of him smiled at me and went to give me a high five. I was thinking, "Nice." I had to take a piss, so I figured I'd leave and come back. Later I reapproached. The guy was gone and the girls were still standing there. I tried to say, "Hi" but the same blonde gave me this disgusted look. I guess I should have stayed while that set was hot. I had AI. I should have blown out the trying AFC. Instead, I let her fall out of state. It was bad to reapproach later.

The Good:
-I'm feeling less fear that I used to. As we walk to the Divsion Street bars, I said random stuff to girls that we walked by. I got no response from most of them but I enjoy doing it anyway. Sometimes, I get a response, and it feels so much better to say stuff than to keep quiet. In the past, I would come up with amusing stuff to say but never say it.

-I opened a five set at the first bar we walked into. We were walking along Division Street, trying to find a bar to enter. I saw a four set in the window and said we should go open it. We walked in, and they were the only worthwhile set in the establishment. I felt approach anxiety for a bit, but I didn't want to let myself down . I also didn't want to look stupid for making Jason come into the bar and then not opening. I went up and started talking.

-I swear that I heard a girl comment that I was cute. Part of me still doesn't want to believe it as I have low self esteem, especially when it comes to looks. I've been working out a ton. My muscles have gotten bigger, but I still have a ton of fat that I need to eliminate. At the Lodge, there was this Asian girl and this white girl. As they were walking past me, I believe I heard the Asian one say that she saw a cute Asian guy. I was the only Asian guy in the vicinity, so the odds are good that she had been refering to me. This was good, but then the white girl responded, "Where, I don't see anyone." So, I wasn't cute enough in her eyes. I'm still wondering if I imagined all this.

Michigan set:
Part of me wants to post this to get opinions on what happened. I walked into this bar and opened a this seated 4 set. The bouncer had said it was almost last call when we walked in. I couldn't think of anyting to say, so I think I said, "Hey, what bars do you recommend around here?" The girls responded that they weren't from around here. Immediately, I knew this was good so I stayed. I stalled and I remember making a comment about this big, pink, rectagular purse. I believe this is when my wing came in as he had a running joke with a girl in the set that there was fold up machete in there. Just after this, this cute blonde came back from the washroom . It turns out it was her purse. I remember one of the girls said, "Here she is."

At this point, I think I became a bad wing. Well, part of it is due to inexperience. A good PUA would have run the set so all the girls would like him. Most of my experience is with 2-sets, lone wolves, or the ocassional three sets. I've only opened one five set before. Jason, is naturally an outgoing guy and he's always livening up things. He was cracking jokes at the party earlier, and he even makes people laugh when we play board games. I figured he'd be good at running the four set, so I left him to work them, and I started talking to this blonde.

I remember asking her where's she from, but before she could give an answer, I asked if she was from California. She said, "No" and then I realized she had a southern accent.
Me: You're from the South? Alabama? Mississippi?
Girl: Keep guessing.
Me: Georgia?
Girl: Think of the state that's farthest south.
Me: That's Florida, but you're not from there. Texas?
Girl: Yeah.

She then told me she was living in Detroit now. All the girls new each other from college. One was in town for work, so the other three drove in from Michigan to see her. I ran the tent opener on her. She asked where I was from. I told her that I was from the suburbs. She asked which one. I told her she probably hadn't heard of it, but I said it was near O'hare. She replied, "Can you give us a ride to the blue ride later?" Me, "Maybe if we get along."

Not long into the set, the bar called last call. The girls obviously wanted to keep drinking, so Jason and I through out some suggestions. The girl I was talking to seemed keen on venue changing with us. I figured we'd get the other girls to go too, but then something weird happened. Jason ended up losing state b/c of this and I still don't know how to interpret it.

The girl who was in town for work went outside and started talking to three guys who were older than all of us. Her friends were cracking jokes that one of the guys had his arm around her and was trying to bust moves. As we're leaving, I saw the AFC hand her his business card.

We're in the process of walking out when this girl comes back in and says she needs to get her coat. I hear her say to her friends that this was a client and that the "client" was going to the Lodge down the street. Jason and I had said we wanted to bounce to Mother's. As the girls are coming out, the worker girl was standing. I said, "I see one of the guys tried to give you his business card, LOL." She told me too that it was a client, and as I think back on it, I believe it might have been as she gave this disgusted look when it was clear that I was suggesting the interest.

Jason starts walking with the blonde I was talking to and is walking her towards Mother's which is on the same side of the street that we're on. Suddenly, the worker girl starts leading the girls to the Lodge. I was just standing there. Thinking back, I should have taken a more active lead here. The girls then tell the blonde, who's with Jason, that they're going to the Lodge. She walks towards them. Jason comes to me and says, "Let's get out of here."

I reply, "What the problem? That girl was talking to a client that's at the Lodge. Let's just go over there." I figure that I can AMOG these guys. Obviously, they are AFC's if they are not clients b/c the lame-o is trying to give his business card after talking to the girl for <3 minutes. We walk in about 30 seconds after the girls. Jason says he need to go to the restroom. The setup ends up being horrible at this place. It's too small and crowded. The blonde ends up standing next to one of the AFC's and I'm stuck in the aisle next to girls from the set that I hadn't really talked to (big mistake of course). I'm trying to chat with these girls but the traffic is making it difficult. Jason comes back and says that we should go.
Me: Why? This is a good setup. Forget about those dudes. They are clients.
Jason: Yeah right. (He implies that the girls aren't into us and were using the guys to get rid of us.
Me: So what if they aren't. Let's stay.
Jason: They don't want us, let's go.
Jason's comments put me out of state, plus I hadn't really talked to the girls that were near me so I agreed to leave. I figured there were more sets to open. I still think it was a messup. I'm sure I had better game than the AFC's. They might have gotten the girls to come to The Lodge, but the guy has no game if he's trying to give a business card that early in the sarge. Plus, the girl did have a disgusted look on her face when she thought of the guy as being a potential love/sex interest. I told Jason that the set was good since they were out of town.

2006-03-30T23:52:00.000-06:00

Gym Girl:

I forgot to post the progress report on the girls at my gym. I had succesfully flirted with her last week and I planned on closing her this week. I'm now going to have to make my move next week. Logistics were just bad, but at least I made some effort. She works the desk, but since it was the end of the night, she was using one of the elliptical machines. I finished my lifting and I decided to run some game on her or I knew I'd be angry with myself.

I decided to run the ESP test on her. I guessed her number both times. Either that, or she pretended that I guessed her numbers. Either way, I could tell I spike her buying temperature. Her face got flush when I guessed her numbers. I initiated a takeaway at this point and said I was going to go run. I was planning on talking to her again, but things didn't work out as planned.

Plan for next week:

I think I'm going to bring out the big guns. I'm going to run the tent opener on her, or maybe I'll do the crappy sketch artist. I'm even considering bringing some stuff for the photo routine. So it doesn't look too staged, I'll leave the photos in the car. I'll tell her that I want to show her a pic of my cat and I'll go get the photos. At the very least, I should talk to her for 10-15 minutes and if things feel write, I should number close her and set up a day 2 right there and then. I don't want to wait to long like I did with the myspace girl.

2006-03-30T23:34:00.000-06:00

Not good enough:

Today, I gathered another gem to fix the puzzle that is my inner game. Seamas has been telling me this for the past week, but I haven't realized how much it really applies to me. Before I go into it, I'll update my situation.

Out gamed on Myspace:

I was sarging some girl on myspace that I fell for as I described in earlier posts. She was supposed to meet me, and then backed out. I thought my "seizing the day" message to her would help my sarge, but I think it might have made her decide not to meet me. We messaged a bit after that, but then I tried to press her for another meeting. She ignored the first message, but then I wrote another one that she couldn't ignore. I replied to her e-mail and the only question I asked was at the end, I asked her what her schedule was like for another meet.

After doing that, I decided that I needed to ignore her for at least a week. That would make her more likely to meet me and it would be good for me b/c I would stop thinking about how I messed up by moving too slowly. As I figured out this move, I really wanted to withdraw the last e-mail I sent her. My feelings were correct as she didn't reply to that e-mail. I planned on doing a takeaway, but she realized that I had started to feel desperate. She could sense that I wanted to meet too badly so she stopped the e-mailing just as I was about to do a takeaway. The community says to only do takeaways when you spike a girl's interest or buying temperature. When you do a takeaway at a low point, you lose. Well, I haven't e-mailed her, but she doesn't miss me b/c she could sense my neediness. I needed to do this ignore about a week earlier when she was excitedly e-mailing me, even though she had just gotten a new boyfriend.

The CORE Problem:

Seamas told me that I have to eliminate this belief that I'm not good enough for girls. He says that it's obvious that I believe that I'm only good enough for a certain caliber or girl. On the HB scale, I probably think I'm good enough for HB6-6.5. HB7's fit in there, but that is about the maximum that I think I can get. I feel like I have no chance with HB8+ and that's hurting my progress. This hurts me in two ways. First, I don't approach good looking girls as often b/c I feel like I'm going to strike out. I'm missing out on practice by not sarging those sets, and when I do sarge them, I set up failure by not believing in myself. As I believe I can sarge HB6's, I get frustrated when I get blown out by a bunch of them at the club. I should realize that I can get blown out by HB6's just as I can by HB7's & even 8's.

To be clear, I should note that there is a difference in technique for the gorgeous girls. HB9's and higher are a whole different level. I've seen the posts in the community from guys that have mastered picking up the HB7's. They say that there is a huge learning curve when they tried to focus on the really hot girls. Pulling the hottest girls in the club is really the top level and I'm surely not ready for that. I don't even think I should attempt those sets unless I really want to practice getting busted up. The problem is that I apply that to the lesser girls too.

As I've been working out again, I can feel my old thoughts creeping back in. I keep telling myself that I'll be ready for hotter girls (meaning thin, cute girls, and not even HB8's) when I get in shape. The community says that looks help slightly but game is the most important. I should remember that I've gotten in incredible shape before and since I didn't improve my game, my results were the same as when I was fat. The answer is that I need to practice my game with the attractive girls so I'll be ready when I'm thin. I need to believe that if I just improved my game and looked the same, I will be able to sarge these girls. If I don't feel adequate, then I'm not going to be successful. I'm going to eject early, or I'm just not going to run solid game .

I have to stop telling myself that I don't deserve attractive girls until my game is solid and I'm in great shape. If I keep practicing my sarges on them, then even without my game improving, I'd pull some of them through sheer numbers. I probably have enough skill to pull some cute girls now. I've shown some promise in the past and I've improved much since October. As with other aspects of my life, I just have to believe in my progress and allow myself to succeed.

2006-03-23T04:05:00.000-06:00

One-itis & Back in the Saddle:

I don't even know where to begin. I haven't been posting b/c I haven't been sarging like I was a few months ago. I'm about to change that . Let's start with the good news first. I finally got back to work. Playing online is actually fun. I just have to make sure I don't try to play to high for my bankroll.
One-itis:
I've been sarging this amazing girl on myspace. That I'm still describing her like that shows that I'm suffering from one-itis. The community people would say that I need to GOFTOW (yes, it's crude, it stands for "go out and fuck ten other women.") They say that if you go and do that, chances are you won't be thinking about your one-itis anymore. That's great advice, but I still don't have the skills I need. Well, I know all the theory I need, I just need to practice. I'm just a little discouraged after tonight's sarging, but more on that later.

What's even worse about my case, is that I still haven't met this girl from myspace. We've been messaging each other on there for about three weeks now. I should have moved faster. I could tell she was into me from the beginning considering she was replying to my e-mails multiple times throughout the day. I took about two weeks to #close her, when I should have done it within the first week. Then, I called her and sounded lame, and I failed to set up a meeting with her. In the meantime, some other dude she met through myspace successfully got with her and now she's dating him. This literally happened within the last two weeks. I'm such a dumb ass.

I keep thinking about this girl b/c she's into cars. She loves to travel like I do. She also is very open about stuff. She and I have discussed some stuff that I never even was able to talk to my ex about.
Scarcity:
I'm not going to take away from the fact that this girl has a lot of attractive qualities. Still, I think part of that problem is again that issue of scarcity. I need to keep sarging and start getting phone numbers. Once again, I have to remind myself that if I were working on other girls at the same time, I'd be less likely to get this way about a woman, especially one that I haven't met. I feel like I'm a total AFC again. WTF!
Motivation:
I was motivated today when I realized that she now has a boyfriend. I'm still trying to convince myself of what the community says: the BF doesn't matter if my game is solid. Well, it's not solid yet, but I got motivated to work on it. I was most motivated by her response to an e-mail I sent on Tuesday. I finally asked her directly to meet for coffee. In her response Wednesday, she blew off my question. I called her out on it. I wrote something at the end of my next message that basically said that she forgot to address my question of what time we can meet on Thursday. I didn't expect her to respond. Instead, I got mad at myself for playing the game terribly so I told my mother that we were going to the mall so I could practice my game.

Mall:
I didn't run real game. I did more of what I'll call warm up game. I said I to women when I could. I also made random comments that came to me as we were walking through the mall. For example, I saw this Asian girl working this purse stand in the middle of the mall. She was moving around bags and it was obvious there wasn't enough room for the merchandise. As I walked by, I turned and said, "It looks like you need another shelf." She giggled and said, "Just a little one." Later, I saw some girl working a stand. She was just sitting there and looked bored as hell. I commented, "You need to do better than that if you want to see your merchandise." The comment sounds stupid when I write it but I got a laugh out of her too. (I probably should have sarged her for real for a bit, but I didn't feel it at the time.)

In addition to talking, I practiced the eye contact experiment. Also, I made sure to lock eye contact with clerks. My mother bought something from Sears. There was a cute girl with glasses working there. After my mom paid and she handed us the bagged merchandise, she thanked us. I made sure to make and hold eye contact as I said, "Thank you. Have a nice day." She ended up doing a double take of my eye contact which was interesting. I never would have had the courage to do that previously. As I practice more and more, I feel more comfortable doing it in the field.

The Gym:
My mother and I took down A&W Root Beer. That brought back some memories which I'll write about in my myspace blog. I was tired from eating too much but I wanted to go to the gym b/c it was time for me to weight lift and I wanted to practice sarging there. I saw an HB working there that I hadn't seen before. I greeted her and asked her if she was doing a personality quiz in the magazine she was looking at. It was obvious she was doing a crossword, but I thought my comment would give me more room to work. We talked briefly, and I proceeded to work out. During my workout, I made several of my wisecracks, which made her laugh. She was vacuuming the room and looked bored, so I said, "Wow, you don't look too enthusiastic there. " She replied, "Yeah, I'm vacuuming." I replied, "You should try to enjoy yourself. Your terraforming a new world for the dust mites." She giggled.

Later, she was cleaning the water fountain. I decided to go get a drink. I replied, "Thanks for cleaning that for me. That was very thoughtful, but you missed a spot." I pointed at some random spot and she playfully cleaned it. When I was done with my workout, I chatted for a little bit. I found out she works as an assistant at the animal clinic. Next week, I'm going to do the photo routine on her. I'm going to "happen" to have this film that I just got developed. I just took a few cute pics of my cats, and the film has some pics from Singapore so I'll have stuff to talk about.

Negative motivation:
This is going to sound bad, but it helped me feel better. I was looking at the myspace girl's boyfriend's page and saw that he had a recent picture of them together. Apparently, the pics on her page aren't recent as she gained some weight. She still cute, but I was sweating talking to her like I would a better looking girl. I was acting like an AFC when I talk to hotter girls. Of course, she is way cooler than the girls I've been meeting at the bars, but I do feel better.

Cadillac Ranch sarges:
I got busted up today and I actually ran my routine several times until I got busted up. My only regret was that I didn't approach this cute blonde that had a leg brace on. I got cockblocked in my first set. There was this chubby, but really cute blonde. I ran my tent opener on her. She gave me instant IOI b/c she asked my name right away. She was smiling at me and stuff. I tried to engage the friend briefly, but it was very loud so I could only game on of them. I picked the blonde and we had to get really close to each other so we could her. We were talking for a bit and I even ran the Mystery discount magic coin trick, which got a laugh out of her. Out of nowhere, though, the friend pulled my blonde away. The blonde apologized for it, which I think was legitimate, but I know what I did wrong anyway. (I hoped to approach her again later, but some black dude was sarging her the rest of the night :( )

I met this cool Cambodian guy that goes there regularly. I hope to see him again. He was with some friends and a good looking female cousin. He wanted her friend, so at one point, he tried to get me to dance with his cousin. They were shy so they went back to the table. I wanted to game the cousin, but some dude was talking to her the whole time. I should have befriended the guy more and try to get him to get me in to talk with his cousin, but I focused on trying to open other sets instead.

IOI on opener?

I feel stupid writing about this sarge. I know what I did to mess it up. I decided to approach this lone wolf near the end of the night. She was standing by the bar. I went up and opened her by saying, "You give up already? The party is still going." She then said something I couldn't understand and then asked me if I wanted a shot. To that, I should have replied, "Yes" and waited for her to buy me one. That's a huge IOI if she would have bought me one, and she would have felt more invested in the interaction. Instead, I responded in a way that showed I was hesitant in my answer. (I guess I was worried she was going to try to scam me into paying for the drink.) I then tried to run the tent opener on her. She answered, but then she shit test me by asking why I asking these questions. I tried to be cool and ignore her, but then she persisted and I said something like, "I'm doing a poll." Then I asked her if she's adventurous, and when she responded, "I don't know" I busted her out. That would have been fine, but I dropped her value by saying, "Wow, I've asked this to like 50 people and you're the only one who's said, 'I don't know.'" She shit test me again and then left without buying me a shop. I'm pretty sure I messed up a possible good set. I should have accepted the drink and just BSed with her.

Game plan:
I give myself the usual game plan. I have to go out and sarge more and stop ejecting. I get discouraged that I don't make progress, but I think I need to read my old entries to remind myself that I have made progress.

On the one-itis front, I'm composing an e-mail to this girl before I go to bed. I'll try to get her to meet me next week and I'll run the best game that I can on her. I'll also memorize BF destroyer routines in case I need them. To make sure that I'm in the zone if and when I do meet her, I'll make sure to sarge for a few hours before. I'll force myself to work out before, sarge at Starbucks and the bookstores. I'm supposed to meet her at a Starbucks, so I'll get there about 30 minutes early and sarge some girls there. If I'm in my party game zone, I should do well. I'll have no nervous energy and I'll be in a great mood. I just have to make sure I lock eye contact, kino escalate, and all the other stuff and maybe I can get her.

2006-03-08T01:37:00.000-06:00

Phone Number close & then desperation mess-up:

Good phone sarging:
My friend works for an airlines here in Chicago. She was at worked and called me to talk about a problem she was having with her cat. As we're talking, she starts telling me how a guy ran "The Cube" on a co-worker of hers. My friend recognized "The Cube" b/c I had ran it on her and explained how it works. I soon found that I was having my friend relay messages to her co-worker. I decided to have my friend put the co-worker on the phone as it was annoying having messaged relayed, and I wanted to see if I could sarge her.

We talked for about 10-15 minutes. I DHV with a few stories. I also wouldn't get pulled into her frame. At one point, I asked her about lame pickup moves. I said that guys probably come up and say, "I like your shoes, can I buy you a drink? We laughed about that. Then she tried to test me by asking, "What is your pick-up line?" I didn't have a witty comeback, so I just sat there silent. She then changed the subject.

I could tell it was going well so I decided to try for a number close. I didn't want to rely on my friend hooking us up and I was afraid the HB would get called to meet an arriving plane. They were at work, after all. I used my favorite routine from the ASF pickup guide, "What steps can we talk to make sure we could talk again?"
HB: ?
Me: You think that with it being the 21st Century, we'd be able to figure out a way we could talk again. There's got to be some way we can talk to each other again without standing next to each other."
HB: Cell phones?
Me: Yeah.
HB: Give me your number.
Me: Naw. I don't do that. I know you women collect phone numbers and stuff. Why don't you give me yours?
HB: I asked you first.
Me: I'll tell you what. We can exchange numbers. That will be fair.

Then, things got messed up here. She asked for my number, I gave it to her, and then she called me from the cellphone. I picked up and said, " Can I help you?" She hung up the cellphone. I switched back to the other line, and she hung up that line. Later, my friend says the HB claimed I hung up. Now that I think about it, I don't think she realized I was going to answer the cellphone. I needed to so I could save the number.
HB was intrigued:

The HB was intrigued b/c I met up with my friend and her fiance later that night. My friend said the HB was asking about me and wanted us all to go to a Japanese restaurant. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Random encounter today :(

I went to my friend's house to watch the new Harry Potter movie on DVD as I had received it on Netflix. My friend's mother was flying in so we had to go pick her up from the airport. I went with them and as we're standing near the Customs exit in Terminal 5, my friend spots the HB. She then calls her over and tries to introduce me. At this point, I wanted to run. I was wearing my glasses, and I wasn't dressed that nicely b/c I wasn't planning on going out. The HB and my friend started talking. My friend had kind of introduced us when we were 30 feet away and couldn't see each other. I walked up to the two of them and they were having a conversation. The HB didn't even turn to look at me. For some reason, I felt like I couldn't interrupt. I decided to make sure my side was facing the HB so I wouldn't show too much interest. Before I could say anything, they both decided to go back through the exit door. My friend had her airport ID so she was able to go back.

Obviously, that was a shitty first impression. I didn't even get to say Hi, and I looked like shit. I knew I had to redeem myself on the phone.
Friend messes up with a phone invite:

I'm happy the following happened, in a way, for several reasons. First, I learned that you can't rely on people to do stuff for you the way you need it done. I needed to run this game myself. If I hadn't #closed this girl, I wouldn't have even gotten that far as my friend didn't want to do her best to hook me up. (To her credit, she was willing to set up the Japanese dinner, but things got messed up b/c we ran into her at the airport and I made a shitty first impression.) While we all hung out, we decided to go to Alumni Club in Schaumburg. (I wrote about that outing in the entry before this one.) I said it would be a good time to invite the HB. I figured I'd call and say something like, "Hi. You weren't as friendly and outgoing as I expected, but convinced me to give you another chance. Besides, you were amusing on the phone so I figure we could be friends. We're going out to Alumni Club, you can join us if you want."

My friend convinced me that it would be better if she called. I told her to invite the HB casually, and then hand me the phone. My friend calls and gets voice mail. The HB calls back later and my friend tells her that we're all going to Alumni Club. She said it in a way that emphasized me, so it was obvious she was trying to set this up for me. That was a fuckup. My friend should have said she was going with some friends to Alumni Club. The next messup is that I kept trying to get my friend to give me the phone so I could run game and make up for the bad first impression. Instead of handing me the phone, my friend says, "Do you want to talk to Ted?" She says, "No, I'll call him when I get home."

I knew I was busted out then. You can't give her a chance to say, "No" like that since I already made a shitty impression in person. If my friend had just said, "Hold on a sec," and put me on then I could have run my lines and salvaged the situation.

Desperation:
Because I haven't been out sarging and my only sarging has been some myspace stuff, I was thinking about this HB too much. I messed it up like that. I think I would have been okay if we hadn't run into her, but the same random chance that helped me get this number messed it up for me. I should remember that I always have to be "on." Still, that was just shitty timing.

Plans:
Going out to Alumni Club helped. I need to keep practicing and I know I'll make up for this. I'll still try a move by either letting my friend try to set up a Japanese food outing, or I'll call and run some game. I'm thinking I can run something similar to what I wrote above. I can also say that my friend has been trying to push the HB on me, so maybe that will seem like an explanation for my friend calling and trying to invite HB.

2006-03-08T01:16:00.000-06:00

Hands off the Merchandise:

Okay, today was mostly full of warm-ups for me. I rolled with two childhood friends that were okay with acting like my pivots. I did notice that sets did seem to open easier when I approached with a girl in tow. The thing is that I am still rusty, so I was feeling insecure at the start of sets, so I kept ejecting. Finally, near the end of the night, I felt like I was getting back into party guy mode. This girl came up and was having a problem ordering a drink so I used my usual routine for that and got the bartender's attention for her. After she got her drink, we chatted for a bit. It turns out she was from Iowa. I later found out that they drove there tonight and were staying a hotel. The next day they were flying out of O'Hare to Virginia Beach. She left after 2-3 minutes of talking, but kinoed my hand as she left.

Later, this other, larger girl, walked over. She had the same problem with getting the bartender's attention. I started talking to her. I asked if she was from Iowa too. (I had already seen that the first girl had gone back to that set, so I know I'd get a yes.) I chatted with her for a bit, and then these two hotter friends started yelling out to her. I told the girl that I knew what her friends were trying to do. She replied, "No, they are just whores. Go talk to them." I laughed and I kept trying to talk to her. Eventually, I just walked over to the table and opened the two girls sitting there by saying, "Hey, your friends saying some bad stuff about you." There was a pretty hot blonde there (HB8?) and a HB7.5 brunette. The blonde started talking to me.
HB8(blonde): You know why she's saying that.
Me: Why's that?
HB8: She wants to make out with you. Go over there and kiss her.
Me: Yeah. I bet. Great.
HB8: She does.

At some point she started to kino my right arm. I've been practicing the Mystery line for the past week, so I brushed her hand off with my left hand and said, "Hey, hands off the merchandise." Then I said, "I have a different theory. I think she actually wants you two and she's saying this stuff b/c she wants to make out with you two."

We talked for a bit longer, then I ejected and went back to my crew. They were only about fifteen feet away. I think I could have worked this set, but it seemed pointless. I couldn't bounce to another club b/c I had my friends with me, and I had driven. These girls were from Iowa and were leaving the next day. My only hope would have been to try for a ONS, but I don't think my game's at that level, plus I had to drive my friends home.

I realize that this shit works:
I hang out with my friends for a little bit. I mess around with the younger pivot and tell her to pretend that she's into me. I ask her to give me open body language and to kino me. We actually looked like we were having a good time, because we were both laughing as we were trying to get the body language right. Later, I decide it's time to leave b/c the club was going to close in 10 minutes. We walk by the Iowa set. As I'm walking by, I pause by the table and say, "Have a good time in Virginia Beach."

The blonde smiled and kinoed my hand. Obviously, that was an IOI, but they logistics were horrible so I don't feel bad that I didn't try to proceed any further. I'm happy that I did verify another technique. It's so funny how she got even more into me when I showed I was unimpressed by her antics by not going over to her right away, and by brushing her hand aside.

2006-03-05T12:57:00.000-06:00

Turned into a KJ:

Okay, so it's not that extreme, but in some ways I have. Total number of approaches this week is <3. style="font-weight: bold;">
Myspace.com:

Sarging:
I started a myspace account at the urging of Seamas. It's pretty cool. I've been trying to sarge random girls in the area but with little success so far. I got one girl to respond right away, but she hasn't responded since. I must say that myspace is showing me how to have the "I don't give a fuck attitude." I'll send out messages to every girl that I find some info to work with. I'll say random stuff that I might be reluctant to try in person b/c it's the internet. To get good at real life PUA, I need to have the same attitude when I'm approaching. In fact, I should be more willing to put myself on the line in person. In person, the girl gets to judge me by my looks, and whatever I can demonstrate in the few seconds of opening her. On myspace, though, she can learn a lot about me in my profile. In some ways, I'm getting rejected on more substance on myspace then I am when sarging in real life.

Friends:
I'll say that myspace is a good way to stay connected with old friends or acquaintances. My friend list is small, and I think I'll keep it that way. I know I can have a ton more by just trying to get random people to add me, but I want everyone on the list to be a legitimate contact. By that, I mean it's someone that I "know" on some level. Obviously, people who have 100+ or even 1000+ friends don't really keep in contact with all those people.

High school:
There was only one other person from my high school on myspace. I contacted her. I'm not trying to sarge her; I'm just chatting. She is actually pretty cool and it's strange that I never chatted with her back in high school. Well, it's not so strange as I was a WBAFC that was completely terrified with women.

Seperation of myspace & blog:

Myspace actually has a blog, but I'm not using it since I have this. I also haven't linked the two of them, though someone with a little ingenuity and time could probably figure out which one was mine. Some day, I think I'll actually put a link on myspace to this blog, but for right now, I'm keeping them seperate. Since I'm sarging on myspace, I don't really want them to be able to read all this without getting to know me. Later, when I've flcosed a ton of girls, I won't care as much b/c I'll have the right sarging attitude. As other people have shown, being know as a pick-up artist or player doesn't hurt their game, but I'm not on that level yet.

2006-03-01T11:14:00.000-06:00

This shit works:

I'm up early and I'm still thinking about last night. Once again, it amazes me how true all this seduction stuff really is. I'm watching the Mystery DVD. Lovedrop talks about how girls are more attracted to you when you show that you're preselected: when you're with one or more girls. He explains that girls don't admit this and often might not even logically believe it, but it definately is true. I keep thinking about when Jason first walked into Bar Chicago. At the one point when he was surrounded by three hot girls, all the girls in the adjacent sets were looking at him with desire. It's the same look that guys give hots girls. I'm sure if someone asked most of these girls if they would be more attracted to a guy that already has girls with him or around him, they'd say they wouldn't be.

As I see more and more of these theories to be true in practice, I'm forced to go past my comfort zone. I keep finding that all the different routines and lines do work: back turns, ignoring the target, opening a set sideways, busting, eye contact, etc. I know that the Community is right about all this stuff, so I have to believe that they are also right that the only way to get good is to keep practicing opening sets. Deep down, I know this to be true, but sometimes I question if it's all worth it. When I feel that self doubt, I know it's just me try to protect myself from rejection. I have to remember that I want to get good. When I saw those hot girls at the club last night, I know that I've always wanted to have the skills to pick them up. I know that if Mystery or any one of the ASF gurus were there, they likely could have pulled that hot blonde in the orange. I even know what tools I would have needed to use to try to pick them up. If I want to get to that level where I can consistenly pull those type of girls, I have to get out there and face a barrage of rejections.

I estimate that I'm at about 200-300 approaches. I need at least 700 more before I really start to see results. Sitting her and watching Voyager DVD's slows my progress. Even worse, it sets me back as I lose my calibration from atrophy. Again, I have to get out there and put myself on the line. Ross Jefferies is right when he says that there is no such thing as rejection.

From ASF "Dealing with Rejection":

Ross Jeffries: "I never attach excess meaning to winning or losing with women. What I basically I mean is to realise that if a woman accepts you, it doesn't mean that the next one will, so stay on your toes, and don't get lazy or sloppy. And if she rejects you, it just means that the approach you tried, at this particular time, with this particular woman, hasn't worked... yet. It might work at another time with her, or you may just need another approach. Even if it doesn't, as I once told a friend of mine who only thought he saw me get rejected... I never get rejected. I only discover if a woman has good taste!!"

Ross Jeffries's attitude: "The worst that can happen, is that you find out some girl doesn't want to play with you". Remember - you were about to give her a fantastic gift (be it through patterns or an orgasm of a lifetime:). If she turns you down - poor girl, she doesn't know what she just lost.

Game plan for today:
I have to open at least 5 sets in day game. I'll mess around with the hired guns at the mall, but those don't count as sets unless I somehow decide it's going well enough to get a phone number. I'll just run the "tent opener" for practice.

2006-03-01T03:04:00.000-06:00

Motivated by Fat Tuesday Sarging:

Bare Breasts and Gunwitch Method:

Bar Chicago on Division Street was crazy tonight. The DJ's were getting girls to dance on the bar, and girls were showing their breasts for beeds. This one blonde in an orange top and jeans was really working the crowd. She also had great, natural looking breasts :) . On the other side of the war was a platform that had too girls showing off their breasts too. These girls looked more like professionals though, and one even had a boob job. Since I hadn't masturbated since noon time, I found myself getting excited. Usually, bare breasts don't do it for me. I've gone to strip clubs and not cared, but tonight was different.

I'll say that getting horny definately was making me more motivated to sarge. I could see how Gunwitch's Method could really get me motivated. If I didn't beat off for one or two weeks, I'm sure I'd really force myself to open more sets. My problem is that I like masturbating too much. My friends think I'm crazy when I say that I relieve myself at least four times a day, and usually more than six times. When I start getting some regular action, I'm sure the girls will be surprised that I'm not one of these 30 seconds guys. On top of that, I often stay hard even after I orgasm which means I can go twice, sometimes three times in a row, with no downtime. I need to remember this when I get approach anxiety. In many ways, including sexually, I would be doing many girls a favor by giving them a chance to know me.

Peacocking:
Jason and I went to Division Street for Fat Tuesday. Jason decided to wear his pimp hat, which is a dark brown, furry, hat. He also wore this "Giant Viagra" necklace. I got see exactly how this stuff works the minute we walked into Bar Chicago. Girls started touching the hat and touching the necklace. I watched him start dancing with a group of girls, and I also saw nearby sets eyeing him and wanting to dance with him too. This mad social proof really does wonders. I've said all along that Jason does half of the game correctly. If he'd just listen to the advice I give him, he'd probably be getting laid nonstop.

Jason has two problems with his method. First, he lets the girls touch the hat and lets them wear it too easily. The right way is to do follow what Mystery says. When girls first try to touch his stuff, Jason should be brushing their hands away and saying, "Hey, hands off the merchandise. This shit aint for free." If they ask to try his hat on, initially he should use another Mystery line, "No, I don't know you from a hole in the wall." What Jason doesn't realize is these type of responses make the girls wnat to chase you more. His second problem is that he dances with the girls but doesn't isolate. People in the Community say the dance floor is a waste of time. For me, it is, but Jason gets mad social proof on the dance floor easily and he often finds himself dancing and grinding with girls. All he has to do is dance with them for a song or two and then isolate them off the dance floor.

Jason has a third problem when it comes to AMOG's. Once again true to what Mystery says, guys want to touch the hat too. Jason even let some guy wear his hat. He needs to again borrow a line from Mystery, "No, you can't touch it. I don't know where your hands have been."

Approach Anxiety:

Wow, I had it big time today. I don't get completely paralyzed by it like I would in the AFC's days. Back then, I be so scared that I'd never make an approach. Since I've had enough practice, I'll eventually get myself to make an approach. The problem is that one or two approaches a night isn't enough. I'm scared to approach b/c I haven't been practicing like I should be. In December, for example, I went out 3-4 times a week, and sometimes even more. When you open that many sets day after day, you get numb to rejection, you find it easy to run routines since you've done them so many times, and you find the party mood carrying over from the previous night. I know that the only way to get my game back to the level it was when I left Gainesville is to open more sets.

I really feel motivated after tonight. For one thing, I can see all the angles. I see when Jason can open girls, and I know each move that he should be making. When I see a set, I know exactly what the theory says about opening it. My problem is that I know that my actual practice of the theory is going to be awkward and I'll likely get busted out.

This reminds me that we blew a big opportunity early on. As we were leaving the first bar we went to, a guy opened Jason about his hat. The guy was in a 5 sets with 4 other girls. One of the girls was going crazy about Jason's outfit. She was visibly excited and she even snapped a photograph of Jason with the guy. Jason easily could have worked her by negging her. He could have said to the group, "Is she always like this?" (Heck, I even threw in a neg. She was having a hard time taking the picture, so I said, "You do know how to use a camera don't you.") The thing is that Jason left after they took the picture. We should have stuck around and worked the group. There were three girls for us to work. I wasn't nearly into the zone at that point so I wasn't much use.

Busted up by Obstacle:

Jason ended up meeting this girl as we were walking out of Mother's at the end of the night. She opened him as we were walking up the stairs. She then tried to get Jason to give her his necklace. He then got her to show him her breasts. Needless to say, we ended up staying. I stayed with Jason for awhile. I forced myself to open some targets, but Mother's was a target poor environment. The only set I found was a 4 set. There was a guy and a girl that looked like his girlfriend. They were having their own conversation. Next to him were two girls who were having a conversation.

I tried a lame vibing opener. I walked up and say, "Hey, what's going on? My friends forcing me to be social since he's hooking up over there." I know that was weak, but I was still in practice mode. This HB6 blonde immediately looked at me and smiled. The other girl didn't react. I then went into my tent opener. I hadn't run it in over a month.
Me: I want to get your opinion on this story my friend told me about. This guy lived in a tent in LA and he supposedly was this big ladies man. Would you ever date a guy that lived in a tent?
Blonde: No.
Me: Don't you think that's a little shallow?
Blonde: (said something like No, I wouldn't date him.)
Me: I thought the same thing when I first heard the story, but you girls read those romance novels where the woman falls in love with the pool guy or stablehand. How do you know when you're attracted to a guy?
Blonde: I don't know. I just get this feeling.
Me: Yeah, like a butterfly feeling in your stomach.
Blonde: Yeah.
Me: Well, imagine we're sitting her. Pretend I'm gay, and you see a Brad Pitt look-a-like walking in. You make eye contact with him and start to get that butterfly feeling. You hang out and find you're totally comfortable with him. Would you ditch him later when you find out he lives in a tent.
Blonde: No.

Everything was running like it usually does, but then the other girls made some comment that I couldn't hear. I asked her, "What do you think?" I was trying to get her involved. Instead of responding, she said to her friend, "I think we should get going."

WTF! The blonde was interested in my conversation. She was facing me the whole time and was smiling at me. I tried busting on the other girl by saying, "Why do you have to be a buzzkill? Are you tired?" I didn't know what else to do, so I ejected with Mystery's "Pleasure meeting you."

Analysis:

This was a perfect example of what happens when you don't engage the obstacle. I didn't know what to do as in the past, both girls would usually listen to my opener. In retrospect, I don't think I should have ejected. I should have just negged the obstacle by saying, "Wow, is she always like this?" and I should have continued gaming the blonde. The set did leave about ten minutes later, so I think they were really close to leaving ,but I took myself out of the game. I should have pressed on until the obstacle really made them all leave, or the blonde told me to leave. I'm out of practice or I'm sure I would have handled this better.

Gameplan:

I need to practice more so I can get back to my old level. I know that I was really close to breaking through when I left Florida. In the past, there were several sets that I held for a long time. Now that I'm not afraid to number close, all I have to do is run a set well again and I'm sure I can get a day 2. If I hold a set for 20-30 minutes, the number probably won't be a flake. Now, I just have to open a ton of sets every week . Even when my club game was completely on, I did find that it would take many sets before I'd find that one that worked well. At the Hyatt in Maui, it took almost all night for that to happen. With Colorado that one time at Alumni Club, I had to take some rejection and AMOGing before I found a great set. I have to keep reminding myself that even people who are good at the game get shot down a ton.

If I really want this, then I should plan on going to Cadillac Ranch tomorrow. I can play cards in the evening and then head out there around 12:30am. Either that, or I can run some mad day game. I should go to Woodfield Mall and practice my game there. There will be lone wolves there, and I can even practice on the "hired guns" (the employees). I should also hit Starbucks at Streets of Woodfield, and hit the Border's bookstore. I bet if I spent all day sarging the malls and various bookstores, I'm sure I could get a bunch of numbers, and surely one of them would be a solid one. If I really were going to be serious, I'd do day and night game, but I'll be happy with myself if I spend a few hours doing one or the other.

2006-02-20T00:13:00.000-06:00

One Approach & Risk 2210:

We had a Risk day setup. Sidegames was supposed to meet up early, but he never answered his phone. By the time, I was ready to head over to my friend's house, I figured it was too late to start a game before the rest of the crew showed up, so I decided to hit Border's in Oak Park. Since the club's have been lame, and I've been wanting to do day game, I figured this would be a good opportunity.

Travel Section Sarge:

I figured if I was going to hang out at Border's, I might as well read about stuff I find interesting. I decided to check out the guidebooks. I ended up reading the Lonely Planet guide for Myanmar, Iran, and East Africa. I also briefly checked out some guidebooks for Amsterdam and Singapore. While I was sitting and reading the Iran book, this HB7 came a long. I saw her looking for book about Portugal. I knew I needed to open her, but I was feeling major approach anxiety. I stalled, and then decided to get up and make an attempt. I knew I would be really hard on myself if I ended up doing nothing.

I walk over to the shelf. I was on the HB's right. I could feel my heart beating like crazy and I was feeling really nervous. I guess this is what happens when you get out of practice. When I was sarging almost every day, I really did start to lose most of my approach anxiety. I opened her.
Me: Hey. What guidebooks do you recommend?
HB: You mean on Iran?
Me: Well, I mean just in general.
HB: Lonely planet is good, but Frommers (sic?) is good too.
Me: Where are you headed? (pretending I didn't notice she had books on Portugal.)
HB: Portugal.
Me: Do you have the trip all planned?
HB: Yeah, we have it book. I'm just looking mainly for maps.
Me: I'm just killing time. I'm reading about all these strange places I can visit. I was looking at the Myanmar book earlier.
HB: You should try Grenada.
Me: What there to see there?
HB: Beaches and stuff.
Me: So they've recovered from when we invaded them 20 years ago.
HB: Yeah.

Then the conversation stalled, and I just grabbed another book. This was because of my weak frame. This sounds really dumb when I say this now (objectively, and b/c of information I learn later), but I thought she was implying that she was going to Portugal with a boyfriend (fiance or husband even as I couldn't see her ring finger at the time.) Of course, that's really dumb. She would have mentioned that if that were the case (at least with the later two) and if she wanted to blow me off, that would have been a good time to mention something like that. I guess I wasn't feeling comfortable and that's why I let it stall. Of course, I realize now that I easily could have asked her why she want to visit Portugal. I could have asked her where's she's been lately, or what's the most exciting places she's been lately. Most likely, she would have asked me the same, and I could have said that I went to Amsterdam, Florida, and Singapore all in less than a month. I also would have been able to say that I've been to Portugal.

Instead of doing what I knew I should have done, I just let it stall and I grabbed a book about East Africa. I pretended to look at it intently. After a few minutes, she put the books away and walked away. As she walked by, she said something like "Enjoy your trips," and I said, "You too. Take care." I then decided to sit down with my Lonely Planet East Africa book and kill some time.

A few minutes later, she returned with like 2-3 other girls. She showed them some of the books about Portugal, and then said that she's probably just order what she could online. I could tell from the conversation that one of the woman in that group was going to be her companion to Portugal. The other 2 girls left not long after, and these two talked for about 5 minutes. The HB mentioned that she had been to Los Cabos recently and was planning on going again in the fall.

Analysis:
I think I made the most important points above. I should have kept plodding, especially with a girl like this. This girl and I would have had a lot to talk about and this is the type of girl I'd love to hook up with. I took myself out of the game by having bad inner game, and being out of practice. I just need to build from this.

Caribou Coffee:
I stopped by there so I could get a triple espresso to keep me awake for Risk . That place was hopping. I guess it's because Triton College and Concordia University are close. I was feeling down about stalling in the last set, so I didn't really do anything there. Also, I wasn't ready to have an audience. There were no lone wolves, so I would have had to approach a two set at the coffee shop. Also, the place was really quiet, so everyone would have been listening in. Of course, all of these are weak excuses, and I need to get over these things again very soon. I need to get my game in order and then go back there to redeem myself.

Risk 2010 AD:

I know I sound like a dork for mentioning this, but I do enjoy playing Risk. James, DaveWoW, and their Linguistics Roomate played with the Tech Commander and Factions. I ended up getting third choice of factions, so I played a faction that I've played many times. The advantage was that I knew exactly how to play this faction, but I really had been hoping to work with something different. This game ended up lasting five and a half hours. My friend Pat called me at 7Pm. We were in Turn 5, so I told him we'd be done in 30-45 minutes. The last round ended up taking 2 hours!

James will say that I got lucky, but I think I played pretty well. All the effort ended up being worth it b/c I won. That's like the worse possible outcome for James, because he either wants to win, or he wants me to lose. I feel the same way. :) This time, I learned to keep my mouth shut b/c I had made the mistake of explaing my intentions too much. James would always try to rattle me by telling me how bad my moves were at times, and I would try to argue and prove how brilliant they really were. One time, when playing with Sidegames, I convinced James to attack me b/c I proved how smart my move was. Reading "The 48 Rules of Power" convinced me that it's better just to act than to explain. I tried to minimize any explanations and just shrugged when questions. (Kind of what Dimitri says to do with shit tests you get while sarging.) What's even funnier, is that James hurt himself a few times by talking too much. Near the end, I had been convinced I won. I asked if they just wanted to concede, and then he said something that made me realize he had these colony influence cards.

I probably still would have won, but he hurt himself by making me realize that I should use my remaining guys to take out his territories. This way, I would gain a point, and he would lose one. Had he not said anything, I might have tried to take a different approach.

2006-02-17T09:12:00.000-06:00

Sidegames Mutilates his Passport:

Just when I thought Sidegames had finally straightened himself out, he tells me yesterday that he defaced his passport. I don't know if he cut it up or what, but basically, he mutilated it to the point where he can't use it. He said he wanted to make sure that he couldn't leave the country. (If you haven't been following the Sidegames drama, basically, he thinks he need to straighten up his life by just focusing on work and going to meetings. He considers traveling "fucking up.") He said that if he "fucked up," he wanted to make sure that he would at least stay in the US. As he told me this, I'm sure he realized how stupid he was acting as he joked that he was becoming Puritan. Do I need to say more about this?

2006-02-16T04:24:00.000-06:00

Messed up Inner Game:

I've been on the last two days and have made a few half-assed attempts at sarging. I can attribute my lack of success to messed up inner game. There is no other explanation. I went out on Valentine's Day to Alumni Club in Schaumburg. In the past, this place has felt like I was playing with home field advantage. I guess part of the reason I didn't feel that way on Tuesday was that I hadn't been there since before New Year's. The cool Russian (well, I found out Tuesday that she's from Ukraine) shot girl is still there. I didn't get to use her as social proof because I didn't see her until it was almost closing time. I also felt like a chump b/c I actually bought a shot off of her. She had only one shot left on her tray and she was pushing it hardcore on me, as usual. I then asked how much they were, and when I found out it was only $2 a shot, I finally decided to relent and buy a drink.

Alumni Club Sets:

I know I was weak when I can only report that I gamed one set. I saw two girls wearing their coats near the dance floor so I busted on them. I said, "It's not that cold in here. You do realize there's a coat check here, don't you?" This HB6.5 Latina responded that they were getting ready to leave. I tried the Magnus Valentine opener of asking her if she got my card. She actually played along a little bit. Then, I tried to vibe with her friend since it was a two set. The friend was from Poland. When I asked her what part of Poland she came from, she gave me attitude. My ex told me today that the girl was probably embarrassed that she was from one of the poor areas. Me ex says she's talk to a lot of Polish girls that are like this.

I talked to a few guys, of course, as that's easy. I saw a three-set near the Golden Tee machine that I should have opened. I just didn't feel like I had the energy to open a large set. I also saw some girl playing with her phone. I made the usual comment, "Did he call yet?" I remembered that she giggled, but then I just ejected. I later saw the phone girl with a friend. I thought about opening them, but I didn't, and later I saw some black dude talking to them. He seemed to be doing pretty well, so maybe that could have been me if I hadn't been so messed up.

Poetry Reading:

My friend Pablo had a poetry reading at this bar in Chicago. In retrospect, I should have used the massive social proof I had from being there with him (he was the feature performer). I guess I'll do that at his next reading. Here, too, I was weak. I saw these two girls that I could have opened, but never did. Instead, I opened up this lone wolf that was next to them. I picked a bad time to opener: the band was playing during a break, and it was hard for her to hear me. I asked her what brought her to the poetry reading, and she said she runs some Latino newspaper and showed me the paper. I then felt like I had bombed out and I ejected. Later, I found out that her boyfriend had died recently and there was an article about him in her paper. (I found that out b/c I believe she was the same girl I saw go up to Pablo at the end of his reading. I heard her talking about her paper and the boyfriend.)

Analysis:

In some ways, I feel like I'm almost back at square one. I think it's just because I'm out of practice and my inner game isn't at a high point right now. When I went up to the woman at the poetry reading, I felt strong anxiety. I also knew I was doing a poor job of sarging her, but it was the best I could muster under the circumstances. I can't be too hard on myself, though. I knew I was being weak at the poetry reading, but I still forced myself to make an approach as I knew that was the only way I could start to get myself out of this.

I think if I go out and force myself to sarge more. I think with a little more practice, I'll be back in action. When I'm being weak, I really know that I could do better. I remember when I've opened sets and held them. I remember how I went out solo two nights in Maui, 4000+ miles from home, and was able to create a small social circle in my two outings. I remember weak I used to be before Ajay's party, and I know I've made big steps. I just have to force myself out of this rut and I think I'll get to the next level.

2006-02-12T03:25:00.000-06:00

Postive to Negative Social Proof:

Okay, I finally have an entry about sarging in my blog that's supposed to be mostly about sarging. I just got back from Coach House on Roselle Rd. There, I just wasn't feeling it, though I did make an effort to be socialable. I chatted with a few cool guys: an older Vietnamese guy, and this guy named Jimmy. He said he grew up in the area but it sounded like he spents some time in Costa Rica. As for girls, I talked to a three set that I opened when I first walked in. One was a cute blonde, HB7.5, the other two were sisters. One had glasses and was a 7, the other was chubby; we'll say HB6. I opened the blonde and somehow ended up talking to the chubby one. I stalled so I ejected and walked around. Later, I opened the set again and talked to the glasses girl. I ran the tent opener on her, but I ejected because I just wasn't feeling it. I talked to a few other girls, but I didn't really hold any sets. It seemed like too many girls were on the dance floor this time.

DaveWow's Birthday:

The evening started at this Italian place just north of Clark & Diversey in the City. I had picked up Pablo and his wife. This turned out to be a small mistake, but it doesn't really bother me. At the party, I had a warm call of a school teacher. Jason's ex was also there. I tried gaming the new school teacher, but she just didn't seem that interesting. When I asked her if she were adventurous, she actually said, "No." Out of all the girls that I've asked that question, none have ever said they weren't adventurous. When I asked her what she did for fun, she took like 20 seconds to come up with the answer that she watched movies. I should have tried to chat more, but I figured I'd do so at the bar.

DaveWow Sees the New Me:

I was in a bar briefly with the crew from dinner. I got to see massive social proof in action with the one set that I opened. When we walked in, I saw some bigger girls sitting by the door. I opened them with a geniune indirect opener. I asked if the place was cool as half of our crew was outside b/c the bouncer hadn't let them in yet. I told them this and they said the place was cool. When they asked about my crew, I pointed to the people that were in: the two female school teachers, DaveWow and his girlfriend. I then pointed to some people outside. I got instant IOI's from these girls. One girl asked me my name right away and I would have kept talking to them if Pablo hadn't called my phone.

People cruising early:
I don't feel so bad about Pablo and his wife wanting to leave as a bunch of our group left after being in the bar only ten minutes. I was going to go back after dropping Pablo and his wife home. I called Dave and he initially said they were going to be out until 3am. When I asked again to verify if they were going out until 3am or only until 1am, he said they were going home soon, so I just told them I was going home. I decided to go out sarging on my own since I was already dressed. I had a decision to make: go to Alumni Club or Coach House. I figured Coach might be better since Alumni starts to drain out around 1:30am.

Lessons:
I need to make sure I go out at least three times a week. I could tell I lost some of my game since I haven't been practicing. I'm still proud of myself as I talked to people. Also, the fact that I seem so different at the bar to people who don't know my new personality gives me confidence. When I actually am out a long time for the next birthday, they'll really see the difference.

I'm looking forward to day game tomorrow. Because I didn't do so well at the club, I want to practice day game. I am feeling like day game might be both better and easier. The theory is that the girls there don't necessarily go to clubs. The ones at the clubs have their shields up, while girls at the bookstore of the coffee shop won't be as defensive (unless they are 10's of course). I also feel like my game is useless in at least half of most clubs as girls can't hear me. It's a pain in the ass to have to yell and the game doesn't run as good when it's hard to have a conversation. At the coffee shop, I know the girl will be able to hear me. I just have to go out there and sarge later today.

2006-02-11T03:48:00.000-06:00

Spending time with the Ex:

I haven't been sarging at all since I've gotten back. I've also been spending too much time with the ex. Tonight, I was reminded of one of the reasons we broke up. She was bitching like crazy and was pissing me off.

The Killing Fields:

I watched this movie for the first time today. I remember reading an article a few weeks ago about how the trail of former Khmer Rouge leaders was set to begin this year. After reading that article, I decided I wanted to watch this movie so I could get a feel for the history of Cambodia. Prior to watching the film, all I knew about Cambodia was as follows. First, I knew that it is now a very poor country. Because Sidegames had visited their with his ex fianance, I also knew that the temples of Angkor Wat are located there. As for the Khmer Rouge, I knew that was the name of the party that ruled Cambodia around the time of the Vietnam War. I also knew that the leader was named Pol Pot and that the group had committed atrocities.

By watching this move, I learned what the chain of events were that lead to the Khmer Rouge takeover. I also learned more about the atrocities committed by the Khmer Rouge. After seeing the movie, I was motivated to learn more about Cambodia. I learned that the Khmer Rouge were eventually overthrown when Vietnam invaded in 1979.

As for the atrocities, I believe this story is the most moving one I've read in my brief web search tonight. The scene that the author portrays seems almost unbelievable. Unfortunately, it has been a scene that has been repeated throughout the 20th Century and I understand that there is killing even now in parts of Africa.

I'll say that just like visiting the Anne Frank House, a night with this movie has given me a better appreciation for life. When I get pissed over stupid things or feel approach anxiety while sarging, I need to remember to appreciate the gift of life as I know it. Sure, I wish I could have a better life, but I need to remember that I'm lucky to not have to suffer like these people have. I need to remember that their are billions of people who probably would want to live my life, or anyone's life here in the US.

2006-02-11T03:46:00.000-06:00

Back to Work:

I finally played again after an extremely long break. I was motivated by the desire to go on more trips. There's a ridiculous $577 fare to the Philippines that I can't take advantage of because I've spent too much money lately. That fact was enough to motivate me. I worked for two and a half hours. Then, my T-mobile internet lost connections and I could reconnect so I went to sleep. I don't even know if I won or lost. I probably broke about even, though it's also likely that I lost. No big deal though. I just need to make sure I start putting in the hours like I used to.

2006-02-09T02:46:00.000-06:00

Suicide on UA 209:

In the UA forum on Flyertalk, someone post this thread about UA209 being diverted to DEN because a man committed suicide in the lavatory (apparently by hanging himself). As I say in the thread, I feel sorry for the guy, but I also feel sorry for the people who had to discover this morbid scene. A friend of mine, CozDad, we'll call him, once told me a story about how he once discovered a guy who had hung himself. He described the scene in detail. I remember him saying something like, "If you're going to kill yourself, fine, but don't do it in a way that's going to scar the people that find you." He then told me that if he ever killed himself, he'd just get drunk and swim out into the ocean and he'd just drown out there. As I say in the thread, the flight attendants who discovered this guy are always going to remember how they found the body hanging in the lavatory.

I've suffered from depression myself in the past and I have thought about ending it all, but luckily I never went through with it. I really think my cat Oliver has been a huge help in preventing me from ever feeling that depressed again. Ever since I've had him, I've never felt as down as I had several times before I got him in 2001. By working out, practicing my game, purging negative thoughts, and maintaining a positive outlook in life, I hope to never suffer from depression again.

Edit:
More details here. He seems like a troubled man.

2006-02-09T01:29:00.000-06:00

Midway-Denver, Here I come!

I just found an amazing promotion on the Mileage Run forum on Flyertalk. I had read about the Denver promotion on the UA site, but I never really looked at the terms b/c I figured it couldn't be that good. After reading this thread on Flyertalk, I realized how good this deal really is. I priced out MDW-DEN and it's $177. I can return the same day do and I believe I can fly three roundtrips in one day. Here's the breakdown on expenses and miles if I fly do this promotion:

$1416.80-total price of 8 round trips. I'd think it would be less than that if I booked it in the near future. I'd get $25 off for this certificate I got for signing up for a Mileage Plus Debit Card. I also can get 15% off a flight and possibly 5% of a flight depending on when these electronic certificates I have expire or expired.
Edit: After playing with Flying Fish, I guess I miscalculated the miles here.
Fixed:
14320 EQM
3580 premier bonus
90,000 promotion bonus:

107,900 total Redeemable Miles (RDM)

The actualy miles would be a few thousand more as get miles from the online booking bonus and the Easy Check-in Online. That's a sick amount of miles. I'd have enough miles to fly F to Europe again. If I had the money lying around, I'd book it right now, but I have to earn some dough since I've blown a lot the last month.

Sarging:

I need to get out there and practice my skills. I know I'm going out for sure on Saturday for DaveWoW's birthday. I'd like to go out at least once on my own before that so I could practice my skills before that day. Chances are that Dave will want to go to Lion's Head Pub/The Apartment for the after dinner festivities. I'll really get to see how much my game has improved as I can compare Saturday's sarging to when I was there for Ajay's birthday in late October. On that outing, I barely was able to make two or three real approaches and they were very weak since I was just starting out. This time I should be able to make a ton of approaches as I've made huge improvements to my game. I expect that I really should be able to make a few #closes as well. I expect that everyone except Jason & Pablo (if he comes) will be shocked at how easily and often I'll approach women now.

2006-02-07T00:57:00.000-06:00

Reframe: Not Getting pissed:

Kid kicks me awake on my NRT-LAX Flight:

I couldn't get much sleep on my NRT-LAX flight because a 3-4 year old kid was sitting next to me. Several times I dozed off only to be awoken by the kid kicking me in the leg or by the kid being unable to sit still. To be fair, there were several times when he was sleeping and he was behaved most of the time. He just happened to be restless at the time when I was finally falling asleep. I remember the third time he woke me. I got this pissed of look on my face and I could feel the anger starting to stir inside of me. I wanted to say something. I considered talking to the kid, but I knew that wouldn't do any good. Then I thought about asking the mother to do something about this problem. Before I could get pissed, I was able to reframe my thinking.

First, I told myself that I had to remember what Raaf said and I had to purge the negative thoughts from my head. I then reminded myself that I was a kid too and there were times when I was restless and annoying. This kid was only 4 years old, and he really did behave most of the time, at least as much as a young child can on an airplane. It's not like he was running down the aisles, throwing stuff, or being loud. He just was restless when I happened to be falling sleep. I then decided that if I couldn't sleep, it was fine. I could read, or watch a DVD. (I ended up watching the rest of Lord of War.) Besides, I didn't want to get too much sleep because I wanted to be tired enough to go to bed around 2-3 am here. After I thought of all the ways I could reframe my thinking, I honestly did feel better and the anger dissipated.

Discussion:

Raaf's technique has been working well for me. I find that I don't get pissed over stupid stuff anymore. Even when stuff bothers me, I find that so far, I've been able to talk myself out of being mad. I do my best to view the setback or problem as an opportunity. Even if I can't frame it as a genuine opportunity, I can at least convince myself that it's an extremely minor problem when viewed against all the stuff that happens in my lifetime. I'll even use what Seamas dismissed as the "Jonah mentality." I don't remember the specific example Seamas and I had discussed, but I remember saying that I could reframe that setback as "the world testing me." Instead of breaking, I would grow stronger by enduring this setback so I could handle even better setbacks in the future. I remember saying that the attitude is similar for bad streaks in poker. Pros should welcome bad streaks not only b/c it helps you to improve your game, or it's good for a pro to lose b/c the streaks are what keeps the fishes hooked, but also b/c you'll learn to handle the bigger and longer streaks in the future.

I think Seamas is right that certain things really can't be view as legitimate opportunities. I argue that you still can't let yourself get pissed. That's not productive. Instead, you have to use the "Jonah mentality." I told Seamas that he dismissed it too quickly because it reminded him of that Jonah story where Jonah deals with all the hardship stoically b/c they are tests from God. I sometimes reframe setbacks by telling myself that it's good this bad stuff is happening to me. I'm being given an opportunity to test how strongly I can hold my frame. This is preparing me for worse things that'll happen in the future, and even if I do break my frame, I'll learn how to hold my frame stronger in the future too. Notice that I'm not viewing the hardships as tests from God. I really believe that they are random events, but I believe that you have to force yourself to get stronger from them. It's surely better than getting pissed, frustrated or depressed about something. I've gone down that path again and it leads to nowhere except more misery.

Even if you can't use the Jonah reframe, I still think you can view the setbacks in contrast with other traumatic events in your life, or other possible worse things that could happen to you. If something minor is bothering you, it should be obvious that worse things have happened and will happen to you, so you shouldn't sweat a minor thing. Even if the event is extremely traumatic, there probably are worse things than you survived. If the event is the worst thing that has ever happened to you, you could try to reframe it by looking at even worse things that could have happened to you. Let's use the example of your house burning down. If it's only property damage, you can at least be happy that no one got hurt. If people got hurt, be happy that they didn't die or that you're still alive. As I said in my Amsterdam report, you can even compare traumatic events to horrible things world events. I do realize that really traumatic events are impossible to reframe as easily as I make it sound in these examples. It might take years to recover from a true tragedy. With that in mind, you should find it much easier to reframe minor annoyances and setbacks that happen in life.

Things could be worse and it's more productive to view a setback an opportunity than to lead yourself to more misery.

2006-02-05T15:35:00.000-06:00

Sarging Isn't Just picking Up Girls:

I'm posting this while I wait for my flight in SIN. Free high speed internet rocks!

Introduction:

I've told Seamas several times that sarging isn't just "picking up girls." It's a whole new way of looking at life and of living (or reframing life). I didn't any real sarging here in SIN. When I go on these short trips I feel that there's no real point. I know I should approach for practice and to just be social, but several things are preventing me from being completely "on" all the time. I recognize that these are self-limiting beliefs and I hope to minimize their impact on my actions in the future. First, on the journey over to SIN I was exhausted b/c I had only gotten 1.5 hours sleep before I left. On the ORD-LAX trip, I talked briefly with my seatmate. She was a cute older woman with a wedding ring (who was traveling with a guy with a church position of "Brother" for some denomination) so I knew nothing could happen. Still, I wasn't too tired, so I talked to her for a bit, plus I was motivated since she was cute. In the later legs, I got more tired and didn't have any good looking females near me. On the NRT-SIN leg, there was an HB5-6 behind me (30+) that I probably should have sarged. She was probably going to SIN and was alone, so there were possibilities there, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I hinted at factor two above. Part of the reason I didn't really sarge in Amsterdam or in Singapore was b/c I was there for 2 days. I know that I have no chance for a Day 2 unless I can sarge someone the first day. The only real chance of a successful sarge is if the woman happens to live in Chicago or nearby, or realistically, if I can pull a one-night stand. By this time next year, I hope to have developed enough skills for that to be a real possibility. Again, this is a self-limiting belief, and I should still try for a ONS or just try to sarge even though I likely won't be successful, but I just didn't feel motivated enough. I was more excited about seeing the city than worrying about actual sarging.

Sarging While Waiting for the Parade:

Polish lady:

On Saturday night, there was a parade for Chinese New Years on Orchard Road. It has an official name that I can't think of right now. The newspaper had said it was supposed to start at 8PM. I rolled in just after eight and it still hadn't started . I managed to grab an open spot next to a fence. I'll admit that I grabbed the spot both because it was open and because it happened to be next to a blonde. It turns out she wasn't that hot, was older, and was married, but I was still glad I chose that spot. I didn't immediately open her. Instead, I opened this local guy next to me. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I asked the guy next to me when the parade was supposed to start and if it was going to pass by this spot. Just about a half block to my left was a stage area for ticket holders. I later found out that tickets for that area cost Sin$50. There was some live entertainment there and I was starting to wonder if I had chosen a spot past the end of the parade.

The guy ended up not being able to understand me so I decided to open the blonde. Right before I did, I heard them speaking a foreign language. I initially guessed that it was Polish. I should have been sure as I've heard my ex speak Polish a ton of times, but I speculated that it might have been Russian. Quick run down of the opener. (Nothing to learn here except the overall message of this post, and that it was funny how we met in SIN.)

At the same time, we asked each other where we were from.
Polishlady: I'm originally from Poland but we're from the US.
Me: Hehe. I thought you were speaking Polish. as my ex girlfriend is Polish. I'm from Chicago.
Polish: Really? So are we.
Me: That's funny. I'm actually from X suburb.
Polish: I'm from Y (Y is about two towns west of me.)
Me: That's amazing that we run into each other all the way out here in SIN.

I chatted with her on and off. The only thing I should have done different was e-mail close her and her husband. He had a digital camera and I would have been interested in seeing their pics but for some reason I didn't try to close them. The whole time, though, I thought about how cool it would have been if my ex had been there with me as they all would have immediately bonded.

Columbian hottie:
The Polish lady and I were growing concerned about the parade when it was past 9PM and it still hadn't started. I decided to ask someone else about the parade since Polish didn't know anything about it, and the local guy next to me couldn't understand me. I opened this guy that was standing right behind me. He spoke decent English, but this young hottie HB7.5+ (probably an 8) was the one who took over the conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to see her as I didn't even realize she had been standing behind me. I later found out that they were all originally from Columbia. (Sidenote: I noticed right away that they were speaking Spanish to each other. Their accent was such that I found them easy to understand. Of course, my Spanish is very rusty so I couldn't fully understand them, but this is in stark contrast to the Mexicans I hear in Chicago. I could never understand the Mexicans that worked in the pizza places I worked at when I was younger.) The older guy and his wife were the HB's uncle and aunt. This young boy was their sun, and her cousin.

I definitely should have made a real attempt at sarging this HB. I talked to her on and off but I should have run real game on her. I had opened the set great with genuine indirect. I was cool with the relatives and I easily could have kept talking to her with no disruptions from them. I noticed this the few times we did engage in conversation. I guess I didn't run game for the reasons I listed in the introduction. Also, the parade started about 10 minutes after I opened the set, so I focused on that instead of chatting with her.

This is going to be another excuse, but I think this is partially real. Later on, when my game is great, this factor won't matter. Right now, though I felt weird running my standard game. How would I suddenly ask her if she'd date a guy in a tent? Well, that's what I was thinking when I was talking to her. Even now, I realize that I was indulging in a totally self-limiting belief. I easily could have brought that into the conversation and ran game on her. Dumb me :(
No reservations? No problem!
I have to thank Flyertalkers for recommending Jiang-Nan Chun. For those that don't know, it's a restaurant on the second floor of the Four Seasons Hotel in Singapore. On Saturday and Sunday, they offer brunch. It's all-you-can-eat but it's not a buffet. Instead, you order whatever you want from the menu. The only thing that's limited is shark fin soup. You can have one bowl of that. (Sidenote: I wasn't that impressed with Shark Fin soup. It was good, but it didn't do anything for me. I definitely wouldn't pay Singapore$30 for a bowl a la carte.) The food was great and the all-you-can-eat aspect is ridiculous. I was so stuffed afterwards. If I had ordered the stuff a la carte for the menu prices, I would have spent over Singapore$120.

The only reason I was able to get in was because of the confidence I've learned from developing my game. I never made a reservations even though I heard that it would have been a good idea to make one. On top of that, I was running late gathering my bags, so I didn't get checked out of my hotel until 12:35PM and 2nd Seating started at 1PM. The cab got me there like three minutes before 1PM. I figured I might be SOL so I walked up and said that I had a reservation under my name. When they couldn't find it, I said that my friend had booked the trip. He ended up not coming but he gave me the info about this place. The lady then had me check the reservation list for my friend's name. I felt like I had two things going with my approach to getting in. First, my friend legitimately could have made a reservation and thing could have gotten messed up. He might have booked the wrong day or it might have gotten lost. I told them that he very well might have messed it up, but I never wavered on the point that I really believed that he had made a reservation.

She told me a few times that they were sold out, but instead of walking away like I would have in the past, I was persistent. I wasn't rude or anything. I was very polite, and but I kept trying to get her to work with me. I remember saying stuff like, "What can you do for me?" I repeated my story that I really believed that my friend had made a reservation. When things were looking dim, I even asked if she could recommend another dim sung buffet type place.

At one point, the woman had to attend to the other people that really had reservations. This male employee came up and asked if I needed help. I tried the "sob story" angle on him. I used part of a method that's described in "The 48 Rules of Power." I played on the real story of Sidegames canceling his trip to sell my BS story. I told him that my friend had booked the plane tickets, hotel, and had told me I had reservations at this brunch. I told him that the trip sucked from the beginning b/c my friend had cancelled at the last minute and had left me to go on my own. I said this was hard b/c he had done all the planning and it's boring to go by yourself. I said that I had heard that this restaurant was great and I really wanted to try it. I asked him if he could get me in. I said, "Sit me anywhere, at the bar, or wherever. I'd really like to get in here." I repeated that my friend had made a reservation. I said I was mad at him about the cancellation and I was going to be even more mad about this screw-up. The guy seemed sympathetic, but before he could say anything the woman came by and said she'd seat me in a few minutes.

Score, but how much of it was skilz?

(My blog entry got cut short as I had to board my plane. I've now been home for about 5 hours am I finishing this entry now.) I know my confidence definitely played a role in me getting in, but luck did play a factor. Also, I think the woman was on to my scam. At the end of the meal, she asked me if I had enjoyed the meal. I said it was great and she asked me how I heard of the place. I didn't realize the woman asking was the one who had seated me. I originally thought it one of the servers. I replied that I had heard of it through this Flyertalk website. She then said that if I come again, I should make sure to call her as I wouldn't have gotten in if the table hadn't cancelled. I guess she was on to my BS and I confirmed her suspicions by not sticking to my story. No harm done, except that I would have felt better if I had stuck to my story and not be "outed."

If anyone reading this goes to Singapore (which I recommend), you should definitely eat at Jiang-Nan Chun. Just make sure you make a reservation. No matter how well I sarged, if the one reservation hadn't cancelled, I would have been SOL. The dining room is small and every table was filled when I was there. I kind of felt bad having a table all to myself when I knew they could have fit a family there instead.

Airport Sarging:

SHB spotted:

I saw a 9.5 Monday on my LAX-DEN flight. She was a tall blonde, at least 6 feet tall, with a nice thin body with nice curves. Like the model brunette I saw in Maui, she was wearing sunglasses that appeared to be Cartier. I know I tend to overrate this type of girl as this is totally my type, but I think she legitimately was a 9.5+. I'm sure she fits the SHB profile and negs would be necessary to sarge her. I didn't talk to her as I saw her just as I was boarding, plus I looked like shit as I was 18+ hours into my traveling.

Creating situational openers:

I've been making the effort to use good situational openers when I see the opportunity. In the past, I'd think of a good way to open a girl, and then I wouldn't say anything. I do notice that since I'm more social in general, I find it easy to make these situational comments now. Today was a great example as I was really tired and I knew I looked like shit, but I still opened her.

I had gastrointestinal distress, probably from drinking plane water, so I got to the gate late. Boarding was already open to all seating groups. This reinforced how important the perk of early boarding is for me as a Premier member. I love being one of the first people on the plane and I really had forgotten how much it sucks to be one of the late boarders. I had to wait in a line that filled the entire length of the ramp. Later, I had to store my bag in a bin opposite of me, and that was the only overhead spot left in my immediate vicinity. When I board early, I always have overhead room, I wait very little and I can just relax while the non elites (Seamas now understands that the term "elite" is airline jargon for frequent fliers the achieve status with a particular airline.) struggle for bin space and wait in line.

As I'm waiting in line, I see that a girl behind me has obviously rushed to the gate. I saw her jog up to the gate, breathe a sigh of relief, and then hand the gate agent her boarding pass. When she got near (which was in about 3 secs since the line was so long) I immediately realized that I could make a situational comment here. I said something like, "I bet you're now wishing you'd taken your time now that you see how long this line is." (It was funnier than that, but I don't remember my exact words). She smiled and said she was afraid she was going to misconnect. I told her I had almost done that in Toyko. I asked here if Chicago was her final destination and she said, "No, Des Moines is." I just nodded. I immediately realized that I could have kept the conversation going but instead I just stalled and I saw her playing with her phone. She then made a phone call to a friend. She said, "When you pick me up, can you bring my jacket please?"

At the time, my frame was fucked up b/c I was tired, I was worried I smelled bad after the long journey, and I knew I wasn't running good game. I honestly thought that she was playing with the cell phone b/c she thought I was trying to pick her up and didn't want to talk to me. (It's possible as my body language was bad, but even if it were true, it shouldn't matter to me. Realistically, though, she probably just wanted to make that call.) After she got off the phone, I felt the same thing I felt after the shit test at the pizza place in Gainesville. It's the same feeling I get when I get busted up on a good night at the bar. I wanted to open other set to show that I'm just social in general. There was some really tall dude in front with two huge carry-ons. I opened him by asking, "Do you know if the bins fill up fast on these bigger planes like they do on smaller planes?" He said, "I hope not."

I felt good after I opened the guy and I feel good about the opening in general. Even though I was far beyond a good sarging mentality, I was still able to be social. As I do this more and more, I know it will become my natural auto-pilot to talk to people, even when I'm exhausted like that. Also, even though I felt rejected by the phone call, I fed off it and did something positive. It's great when I do that at the bar too.

2006-02-05T15:05:00.000-06:00

Thoughts on LAX-NRT & NRT-SIN flights:

Introduction:
I'm publishing this now as I wait for my return flight. It's 05:05AM in Singapore on Monday, Feb 6. I've left the following unedited except for any typos that I catch when I do a quick proofreading. My bags were okay. I guess NRT is an efficient airport. On Flyertalk, the word is that if you have <45 style="font-weight: bold;" size="5">

UA Free Alcohol in Y on Trans-Pacific flights:
I started to write this entry on my LAX-NRT flight. I guess I’ll finish the short wine thread I was working on then. Canepa Classico Cabernet Savignon 2004 Central Valley is the red wine that was served in Economy class. I had it twice b/c alcohol is free in Y on Asian Flights. On Domestic & trans-Atlantic UA flights, there is a $5 charge in Y. Flyertalk people think this perk might be gone soon as a competing airlines (NW?) Has started to charge for alcohol on trans-Pacific flights. This is another manifestation of my “buffet” mentality. I figure I might as well get my money’s worth so I get the free alcohol instead of a Diet Pepsi. On this NRT-SIN flight, though, I passed on the alcohol because I don’t want to sleep on this flight. My flight arrives around midnight and I want to be able to go right to bed.

OJ STYLE:
No, I didn’t murder anyone. I did almost miss a connection in NRT. My flight was delayed out of LAX b/c some woman had chest pains. She was off-loaded to the ramp area, but we were delayed while medical assitance arrived, and while her bags were off-loaded. I knew the connection was tight in NRT, but I didn’t realize at the time, how tight it was going to be as a result of the delay. We pulled into the gate in NRT at 4:45PM and the SIN flight was scheduled to leave at 5:15PM. I knew that even though I’m checked in, I can get off-loaded if I’m not at the gate 12 minutes before departure.

I had never been in the NRT airport before and that ended up costing me some time. I saw the sign that pointed towards International Connecting flights and baggage claim, but I could also see that the gates were down below. At one point, I wasted time by taking the elevator down one floor. There I found that the door was locked. The guard pointed that I had to go back upstairs. I ended up not wasting too much time as I was able to hop on the elevator immediately and go back up. It turns out that I had to follow the signs to a security check point. Luckily, the security checkpoint was quick as you don’t have to remove laptops nor shoes like you have to do in the US.

My gate was one of the farther gates. If I knew how close I’d end up cutting it, I would have jogged to the gate, but I walked briskly, but calmly. About 50 feet from the gate, I saw some Asian woman running to the gate. I figured she had been on the same flight as me and was worried she’d misconnect. I got onboard right after her and just as I got to my seat and stowed my carry-ons, I saw the ramp pull back and we were ready for take-off.

Opportunities:

I sould mention that Sidegames cancellation has already proven to be an opportunity on the LAX-NRT & NRT-SIN flight. I’m in a window seat on a 777 in a 2-5-2 configuration and I have an empty seat next to me. (Sidenote: This is a nice plane. It looks new and is a stark contrast to the 747-400 that I came in on.) This seat would have been comfortable even without the empty seat, but this is great with the extra room. On the 747, Sidegames abscene was definately huge. The seating configuartion is 3-4-3. I was in the aisle seat on the right side of the middle 4 seat configuration. Sidegames’ seat was next to me. I know for sure that I would have been uncomfortable if he had been there, though I probably would have taken an empty window seat during check-in if he had come. It turns out that I got the empty seat next to me and was able to put my laptop case under the empty seat and put my junk on the seat itself. The only seat that was occupied in my middle section row was the other aisle seat. When I wanted to sleep, I put up the arm rest and spread out over both seats.
Knowing you’re fucked:
Okay, Seamas and I have been talking about Raaf’s post about framing all setbacks as opportunities. We had even debated how I could view my suitcases being lost as an opportunity. Seamas had suggested that I avoid the possibility of having to deal with that by packing some clothes in a carryon. Little did I know that I likely am going to have to deal with this problem. By the time I actually post these entries, I’ll know what happened, of course, but right now I’d esimate that there’s a 75% chance that my bags are still in NRT. It all depends on how efficient the baggage handlers are there.

This plane pushed back at about 5:10PM. It took me about 20 minutes to get from the seat on the 747 to my gate. That should be enough time to transfer my bags, but I’m sweating it. There are a ton of bags on a 747 considering there are like 350 people on board. If the bags are sorted into ones that have to be off-loaded for connecting flights, then my bags probably made it. If the bags are mixed up in the cargo bay, then the bags might not have made it. You would think that the bags should be under me considering the plane was only 2-3 gates away from my arriving plane.

Reframe:
If the lose the bags, I’m not going to let myself get pissed. I did pack an extra shirt and underwear, so worse case scenario, I’ll have some clean clothes to change into at the hotel. I can then either hit the 24 mall, or just go shopping in the morning. My only concern is that if I don’t have any clothes, I won’t be able to go to the Four Seasons brunch tomorrow. If I get my bags back on Sat, then I still would be able to take down the brunch on Sunday. If my bags are still in NRT, I think I won’t get the bags for 24 hours :( There’s no use worrying too much or getting pissed, though. My plan is to just consider a few possibilites and just avoid getting pissed.

2006-02-02T11:22:00.000-06:00

Sidegames and the Puritan Ethic:

Or maybe it's the Protestant ethic. It's been years since I read Weber so I don't know if Sidegames is closer to the ethic Weber writes about or is more Puritan. On Wednesday, Sidegames and I took some some Nancy's Pizza (free miles from Rewards Network) and he strongly considered going on the trip. He even took out a ton of cash from the bank. After that, I picked up a printer I ordered from Circuit City and stopped at Starbucks. A lone wolf at Starbucks and another in Nordstrom must have thought I was using the lamest, BS pickup line when I opened them with the following, "If you had a paid ticket to Singapore and a hotel room, would you be debating whether or not you should go on the trip?" I opened these two girls just to practice opening, and to try to show Sidegames how stupid he was thinking.

We debated his situation and his argument for staying was really weak. Basically, it comes down to several factors. A reason he gave at the beginning was that everyone except me was telling him not to go. We had discussed that people in the program were probably jealous of his trip. As for his parents ,he said that he had told them that he stopped using substances, even though he was smoking trees again. He said he had told them that if he goes on any more trips, it means that he's using again. He said if he went to Singapore, they would suspect he was using again, and he didn't want to lie to them again b/c he actually was using again.

Okay... That made no sense, and I told him that. I said that if he stayed here in Chicago, he'd just smoke weed the whole weekend. If we went to Singapore, he wouldn't do any drugs, though he did admit that he probably would end up drinking the whole trip.

His bigger reason for not going on the trip ultimately relates to the title of this entry. I repeated my argument that he probably trades better when he takes occasional trips to clear his mind. He made great money after we came back from Hawaii, which supports this argument. Also, I pointed out that he's booked three trips now and has cancelled. Obviously, he wants to get away and if he wastes this trip, he'll just want to go again. If that didn't convince him, his big loss in Wednesday trading should have convinced him. Usually when he gets busted up, he wants to get away. That's how the London getaway that turned into a Buenos Aires ticket happened originally. I told him if he stays, he'll probably get busted up Thursday and Friday too.

He said that he doesn't agree with my premise. He believes that he should work nonstop and never take any trips. He honestly considers it "fucking up" to go on these trips, even though he traded better after Maui. I told him that he doesn't have to refrain from all pleasures and only focus on work. Granted, I overdo the pleasures myself, but I think reality is somewhere in between both of us.

I'm sitting here in LAX waiting for my LAX-NRT flight and Sidegames either ditched work, and is smoking weed, or he is at work. He wasted $900 on this trip that he didn't go on, which puts him over $2000 wasted this year on trips he planned and didn't go on. In keeping with my new optimism, I quickly realized the positives of going solo on this trip. I'm not going to let his flaking ruin my trips, but in many ways, I think the trip would have been better if he had come with.

2006-01-31T18:46:00.000-06:00

Sidegames cancels Again:

I just got off the phone with Sidegames. It seems like he's getting his life in order, but he thinks that going to SIN for the weekend is somehow going to mess up his progress. I really don't understand this as SIN is far from being a drug haven. He's miss three days off work if he went to SIN and I truly believe he'd trade better after the trip. After Maui, he even said he traded better after having the rest.

Right now, I'm about 90% sure he's going to not go on the trip, though I hold out hope that I can convince him otherwise. This sucks as the trip is going to be a lot less fun since I'm going solo. I also have to pay for the hotel myself, though Sidegames hinted that he might pay part of his share. Another thing is that I originally was going to come back Tuesday if I were going to go alone, though that isn't a huge deal.

That makes it over $2000 that Sidegames has wasted on vacations that he's cancelled. I guess I should be happy that I get a free 370 miles for charging his ticket.

2006-01-31T18:24:00.000-06:00

Saturday Sarging report:

I had a great experience on Saturday night. I met a girl, who I'll just call HB, through the female pivot that Seamas and I had gone out with earlier in the week. I feel awkward posting about this as this female pivot has read this blog and might be reading about it now.

I will say that though my early game is very good now, I can see that my late stage game needs a lot of work. Seamas and the pivot (if you're reading this, you never gave me a nickname so that's why I'm calling you that) wanted to watch "Rebel Without a Cause." After dinner, we went to Pivot's place but she didn't have the movie. Seamas and Pivot left to go out and rent the movie. HB and I were left alone (which was intentional) and we talked. At one point, we were just looking into each other's eyes and I sensed that I should make a move. I was thinking about using the Mystery line, "Would you like to kiss me?" Before I could get the courage to do so, HB asked me, "Are you going to sarge me?" She was familiar with some of the lingo b/c Seamas had gotten Pivot into the lingo. Naturally, Pivot shared some of the info with her best friend, HB.

I had an idea of what HB was thinking, but I wasn't 100% sure and I guess I feared rejection. I replied, "What do you mean?" HB said, "I think you know what I mean." I just sat there for a few seconds and then HB finally decided that she was going to have to make the move. She said, "I guess I'm going to have to sarge you." She then moved over and we started making out. What's funny is that I had my shirt off when Pivot and Seamas returned. I had to run to the bathroom so I could put my shirt on.

I'm not going to post any further details. I'll just say that I had a great time and I hope HB and will stay in touch. We had good chemistry and she had a fun, outgoing personality. She had this question book and I love answering open ended questions that stimulate your imagination. More than that, I think I'd have fun hanging out with her. It's just too bad that I didn't have more time to spend in FL.

2006-01-31T17:56:00.000-06:00

Gainesville Bar report:

Before I left on this trip, I sent a PM through Flyertalk to someone that had gone to law school at University of Florida (UF). I asked about the nightlife there and he told me that it basically changes like every six months and he graduated three years ago. I promised him that I'd give him a report on what I learned as he's going there in March. I figure that I might as well post this info here.

The nightlife in Gainesville is similar to that of Maui in that you have to know which bar is the happening place for that day. For example, this place called Rue Bar (downtown) is packed on Thursdays, but it seemed dead on Friday. I had heard that the happening places usually attract a crowd through drink specials. I didn't really ask about drink specials as I didn't drink much on this trip. The bars all close at 2Am. What's interesting is that some places didn't get kicking until midnight, which is weird considering the closing time.

The "eye candy" is great. As it's a college town, there are a lot of young girls. There are way more good looking girls here than in Chicago as there seem to be an abundance of thin girls. Here in Chicago, it seeems like there are more overweight women. Men's Fitness did rate Chicago as the most obese city for the year so I shouldn' be surprised.

Mondays:
The Grog was the happening place on Monday. It's located on University Ave across from campus. It's located on the second floor. There was a good drink special. The one I remember was you got two bottled beers for the price of one. There were other specials, but I only bought beers so I don't remember what they were.

Swamp, which is down the street, was also packed. We didn't have time to check it out, though.
Tuesdays:
I didn't go out on Tuesday so I don't know what's hot on this night. I had heard from several people that this is a very slow day.

Wednesday:
Downtown was dead on Wednesday. Seamas had wanted to go downtown on Wednesday, but we quickly realized it wasn't happening. The few people we saw told us where the action was: Gator City. Gator city is located on University Ave, near Grog house. From a conversation with a bouncer, apparently, Gator City and the club next to it (the name is "Ex" or something) are really one bar. On Wednesdays, the club is split into two bars by closing the inner down that connects them. The line for both clubs is the same, and then splits off near the entrances. Apprentely, Gator City was already packed to capacity when we got there as we were only able to get into the club next to it.

Atlantis:
This had fewer college students and was a totally different atmosphere than any of the clubs we went to in Gainesville. It's located across the street from "The Top" retaurant downtown. It was packed when we got there at 1am. I didn't really like it as it was small, and it was so loud that I couldn't do any sarging.

Thursday:
We ended up going to Rue Bar downtown. :08 (A country music place downtown) also looked good as it had a line. I think the Grog area bars were also busy as we saw a lot of people walking around the area when we drove by at closing time.

Friday:
Most of the places seemed to be busy. If you want to be adventurous, you can just go into any place that has a line. Fat Tuesday's was dead the first Friday I was there. It was also dead the 2nd Friday and everyday we walked past it. Maybe it's busy on Tuesdays? Also, as I mentioned above, Rue Bar seemed slow on Fridays as well.

Market Street:
During a Starbucks sarge, a girl recommended Market Street to me. Seamas and I almost went in there the first Friday. Market Street is the biggest bar we went to during this trip. When you walk in, there's a dart and pool table area to the right. Straight ahead is a bar on the left. Right after that is a smaller bar to the right. In the back is a good sized dance floor. There's the main floor, and it is surrounded by a slightly higher balcony that is also a dance floor. If you walk to your left when you walk in, you find a large bar area. Music is played a lot softer here, so you can have a conversation. Fridays is 80's night so you don't like that music, then don't go.

Here is where I noticed the strange trend that I mentioned above: the place didn't get really packed until midnight. In the Chicago area, if a bar closes at 1-2am, it gets packed around 10:30PM. The only places that don't get busy until 12-1am are after hours places that close at 4am. Maybe people were treating Market Place as an "after hours" place. Even though it closes at 2am, people might be hitting other bars first and then hitting this at midnight. Honestly, I don't have enough data to know what's up as this was the only night that we actually got out early.

Saturday:
I didn't get to go out either Saturday that I was there. Some people had told me Market Street was also packed on Saturday. Saturday is a busy day so I'm sure most places that have a line are good.

Sunday:
No idea except that it's supposed to be a slow day.

2006-01-31T17:31:00.000-06:00

Recovery Day & Monday trip review:

Today, I'm just recovering from my trip. I went to sleep at 2am today and woke up around 10am. I felt well rested at the time, but an hour later, I went back to sleep. I decided that I need to get as much sleep as I need and I need to avoid clubs for the next two days. I'm flying to SIN on Thursday and I want to do my best to avoid getting sick before the trip. I really can't miss that flight. First of all, I need to fly those miles so I can requalify for Premier before my current Premier membership expires at the end of February. Next, I'm flying on a special e-fare that doesn't have a 6 day minimum stay. I'm not even sure I could change the flight, and if I can, I definately would have to pay a few hundred more $'s. I would rather use the extra $'s on more flights so I can qualify for Premier Executive & 1K. Basically, if I'm sick, I'm going to fly anyway, which will make for a very miserable trip.

Monday Tour of airports:
I booked my return trip as a reverse of my outbound trip. GNV-CLT-PHL-IAD-ORD. The time passed pretty quickly and I had great seats on all but the GNV-CLT trip. For that leg, I flew on a Canadair Regional Jet, which is like the crappiest RJ you can fly on. I also flew that plane on the PHL-IAD leg but I had an open seat next to me. The GNV-CLT flight was only an hour so it really wasn't that uncomfortable. What follows is just some interesting highlights of the trip.

GNV: Gainesville Airport:

This is a small airport. The only other airport I've flown too that similar in size is ABE (Allentown, PA). Allentown has more flights and GNV is definately smaller. GNV is a great airport. I was aggravated Sunday night b/c my stepfather wanted to leave early to drop me off. Now, I wouldn't care as I found out GNV has free wireless access. I could spend 3 or 4 hours there and not care as I'd just surf the net.

CLT-PHL: Human Remains:

I snagged an exit row seat on the US Airbus and I had the middle seat empty. That made for a very pleasant flight. When we arrived in PHL, I happened to look out the window while waiting to deplane. I saw a casket sized white cardboard box that had the words "Extreme Care" on the side.. I knew that airlines transport remains often in the cargo hold, but I had never seen remains being loaded. I wrote a post on flyertalk about it (click here for link).

PHL-Found a jump drive:
I spent about three hours in PHL. I was supposed to spent 4 hours there, but the CLT-PHL flight had been delayed about a half hour. The gate agent had said that due to earlier weather in PHL, flights had been delayed there. The weather was now gone, but the backlog of flights that were affected had not yet cleared. We were held on the ground for a half hour until the backlog cleared. At PHL, I took down a Philly steak sandwhich at a place in terminal D. (I might be wrong on the exact terminal, but it's the one WN & UA fly out of. It currently has a paper weights exhibit at the far end.) I then sat down at this gate I saw on my way down to Florida. The gate obviously wasn't in service as no planes used it this trip nor the last trip. There's a good spot that has a power outlet. Someone had already been using one plug, but the other was free.

I watched "Four Brothers" on my laptop. In the middle of the movie, the guy that had been next to me left. A few minutes later, another guy plugged into the outlet. When the movie was finished, I went to unplug my power adapter, and stepped on something. It was a 256MB Lexar Jump Gate. I was in a rush b/c I wanted to mail my DVD and get to my gate so I didn't have time to look at the files. When I got home, I found out that the owner was affiliated with the Baptists for Life (BFL) group. I e-mailed them last night and got a reply today. I'll be mailing it tomorrow. I have to admit that I was tempted, at first, to keep the drive as I could use it, but I know that the right thing is to return it. I was only tempted for like 30 seconds. I know that I'd want my drive returned if I had been the one to lose it.

Not Sarging:

I'll admit that I did no sarging on Monday. I'm being a little hard on myself because there really is little point. The chances of successfully sarging someone at random airportsthat happens to live in Chicago is slim. Still, I feel that I should be sarging just for practice. I had several opportunities to do so. I saw an HB at GNV, and and HB in CLT that I should have sarged. In IAD, I saw two good looking flight attendants while waiting in the Wendy's line. On Flyertalk, there's an ongoing joke that there are hardly any attractive FA's on UA. There are more FA's that are near retirement age. I made eye contact with one of the FA's, but I didn't say anything. I realized after that I should have said, "Hi," and just BSed with them for a few minutes.

2006-01-27T13:05:00.000-06:00

Sticking point obliterated:

St Augustine sarge:
Seamas and I took a day trip from Gainesville to St Augustine. In the early evening, we stopped at this coffee shop that we just happened to walk by. We saw two HB's sitting down. We soon realized that they worked there. On was an HB7 blonde and the other was an HB7 Hungarian girl. I decided to sarge them as they seemed like they were friendly, plus I knew talking to me would be more interesting than the conversation they were having. They were talking about work BS. The sarge went pretty well. I had them laughing and both girls were actively participating in the conversation. At one point, the sarge stalled, so I went to sit down with Seamas. He said that the HB7 blonde had body language that indicated she was interested in me. He pointed out that she was stroking her hair and kinoing her arm. I had noticed it too but I was in the wrong frame. Seamas then made an excellent point that her positive body language could mean only one of three things: 1) she was interested in me, 2) she was interested in him 3) she was interested in the Hungarian co-worker.

Clearly, the most likely answer was the first one. She probably wasn't interested in him considering he hadn't really been a part of the conversation. She didn't seem like a lesbian so three seemed unlikely, plus I was the one who had been steering the conversation. In addition, she had been keeping eye contact with me and not the Hungarian chick.

First Attempt at a # close:
Even though Seamas had convinced me that I had a chance of closing, I was still reluctant to try. This has been a huge sticking point for me, and I was actively planning to get past it on Wendesday. Part of me didn't want to do it b/c we were only on a day trip and it wouldn't lead to anything. That was dumb reasoning, though. I knew that I had to try to make a # close or I'd never get past the sticking point (SP). Just as we were about to leave3, I told her that I had enjoyed chatting with her. (I remembered reading on mASF that it's good to give a statement of interest when # closing). I said that we'd be back in town again and asked, "What steps can we take to make sure we can talk again (credit FS player guide)?"
Girl: I don't know.
Me: Why don't you give me your phone number?
Girl: Well, my husband has my cell phone.
Me: Oh. Okay, well it really was fun chatting with you. Enjoy your evening.

Analysis:
That wasn't so bad. I got rejected, but it felt good to have actually made an attempt. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted by actively trying to get past my SP. I felt almost like I did after I made my first few approach attempts on Ajay's birthday. I still believe I had done a good job with the sarge. I had both girls laughing and participating in the conversation. I definately felt like I had rapport. The husband stuff was legitimate as she did have a wedding ring. Also, the Hungarian girl had called a cab. As she was walking out, she checked on her co-worker and the blonde had replied that her husband was picking her out.

First # close:

I wore my silk Hawaiian shirt which helped me get into a socialable mood. I had also gotten adequate sleep so I was ready for action. I met up with Seamas at Starbucks on University & 13th street. When I walked in, I saw him sitting next to a guy. I figured that it was one of his students, but it turned out it was this guy he had met at Starbucks. The guy turned out to be pretty cool and we hung with him for a few hour afterwards. The goal for the day was to attend this wall event on the UF campus. This one student group had organized this wall event. Earlier in the week, students had decorated the various cement blocks with examples of stereotypes and racial slurs. The group then paid a contracter to assemble the blocks into a wall. (I found it funny that they had to pay someone to assemble the wall. The students that had been there earlier said that they weren't permitted to build it themselves.) Today, people would help pull down the wall as a symbol of how we were going to work at eliminating those stereotypes and judgements from our thinking.

We had planned on opening the girls we had sarged earlier at the wall. They were busy when we got there so I decided to just open random girls that were tanding around. First, I approached this HB7 with glasses who had a notebook and pen in her hands. I asked her if she were writing an article, and she said she was writing about the wall event, and was planning on submitting it to the newspaper. We chatted for a few minutes but I didn't feel a vibe, so I moved on.

Next to her, I saw a thin, HB7 brunette who was wearing a backpack. She had a half torn tag on her back. I knew it was one of those luggage name tags that you get at the airport, but I decided to open her by busting her on it.
Me: Hey, did you know you have a price tag on your backpack? How much are you asking for that backpack?
Girl: What? (She then looked at her backpack and saw I was pointing at the luggage tag.) That's not a price tag, that's a luggage tag. I had like eight of them there before.
Me: Oh cool. You sound like a world traveler. What's the most exciting place you visited?
Girl: I was in Europe. (I believe she then talked about how she spent a bunch of time in London.) She then asked me if I had ever been to Europe.
Me: Yeah, I came back from Amsterdam last week. (I then told her a brief story about Sidegames. I told her how he booked a ticket on a Monday for an ORD-EZE Argentina flight leaving on Tuesday. He then cancelled it right b/4 he got on the plane. I told her how he did the same for a Friday Amsterdam trip which I booked on Thursday of that week. I said I burned my miles to go to AMS for two days so I could stay in his prepaid hotel that he would otherwise be wasting.)
Girl: Do you have free long distance?
Me: Yeah. You can call anywhere in the US. It doesn't matter.
Girl: (She calls her phone and checks her voicemail.)
Me: You really should get that phone cancelled or people might call Europe for 3 hours. Why don't you write your e-mail and number on this paper?
Girl: You have my number in your phone now. (She then writes her e-mail on the sheet, but as she's doing that, she shit tests me about having a pen and notepad.) Do you do this often or something?
Me: (I'm not sure if I handled this right. I suppose I could have gone cocky funny and said, yeah, this is the 999 time today.) Instead I said: I keep this notepad around to write down any negative thoughts I have. (shout out to Raaf and his inner game post. I actually don't write any down, but I do try to do what he says in his post.) I've been trying to get rid of all my negative thoughts. Usually, I can just talk myself out of them, but if there's one that's sticking in my head, I write it down and analyse it later.

Since this was my first number close, I think I started to sound needy after I got the info. I told her that I'd call her, but then remembered she supposedly had lost her phoen. I then said I'd e-mail her and hoped we could grab some coffee on Saturday as I was leaving soon.

Analysis:
I did well for the most part. The only things I would have done different is that I would have closed earlier so I didn't have to risk her walking away. I also would have run the Mystery line and told her, "When I call, I don't want you to be like, 'Hi... Who is this? Oh yeah. Um. Hi.' I want you to say, 'Hi Ted, I'm so glad you called.'" I'm sure I'll do this in future sarges, but I felt really good to have successfully closed someone.

On fire:
After this, I was one fire. I opened girls left and right as we walked on campus. I did crappy sketch artist on a girl, but she supposedly had a boyfriend. I plowed through her initial mention of her BF, but she kept bringing him up, so I didn't try to close. As we walked around, I found myself in party-guy mode: I kept greeting people and saying funny comments to people.

#Close Number 2:
I saw this cute HB7.5 or 8 blonde sitting on a bench near the food court entrance. I started walking towards her and as I was on my way, Seamas pointed her out to me. I had been following the 3 secs rule since my first close, but he didn't know this yet. I walked up and ran the tent opener on her. I feel like I can do that when I approach immediately. If I stall and wait to long, I find myself using Crappy Sketch artist. On a sidenote, I'm not sure I'm congruent with the direct Sketch Artist opener. My body language and routines are calibrated right now to indirect game and maybe that's showing up as incongruent with direct game. I'll find out eventually as I'm going to keep trying that opener when appropriate.

We chatted for a good amount of time about topics stemming from the tent opener. I elicited values from her and did a little patterning. I then changed the topic to travel. She talked about skiing and she happened to mention that she was from Chicago. I had some topics planned, but I immediately talked about Chicago as I knew that would give us rapport. (I now realize that I could have used a good line on her. I should have asked her when she was there and then said that we could have crossed paths before and not even know it. Credit to an mASF post.) I asked her about places she'd like to visit, and she mentioned Hawaii. I then got to DHV by saying I had gone there in November.

I sensed I needed to close, so I ran my usual closing line.
HB: (She had mentioned that she doesn't go to school her. She reitereated that here.) I'm only here for the weekend and I'm going to spending all my time with my brother.
Me: I'm leaving on Monday, but I visit my parents often so I'll be down here again. (That's BS as I haven't been down here in 5 years. What is true is that I do plan on coming down more.)
HB: I go to school at FSU.
Me: What city is that in?
HB: Talahasse. That's like 3 hours from here.
Me: Well, just give me your e-mail and phone number and we'll talk. I had fun talking to you and I think we'd get along.

I whipped out my notepad and pen. I kind of qualified myself here by explaining why I had the pen & paper (the negative thoughts routine). I won't repeat that routine in future closes unless I get shit tested. She tries to dictate her number, but I want her to write it. I would rather have the girl's handwriting on the paper rather than my own. In addition, when I forgot the HB's name, like I did here, I know she'll write it down so I don't have to lose points there. Finally, someday, I want to be able to pull out an envelope filled with female written phone numbers like Style does in The Game.

Food Court:
The three of us take down a whole pizza in the food court. We decided to sit next to this HB6.5 and HB6. . As we sit down, I greet them. I didn't really want to run game, but I figured if I opened them immedately, I could go game them later and I woudln't feel awkward. When we were done eating, I threw out the pizza box and opened them again. I asked them about the club scene. I could tell they didn't go to clubs, so I asked them what they did for fun. I also ran best friends test. Basically, I kept them entertained for a good 5 minutes. They had traveled to Europe and I was again able to DHV by mentioned my trip to Amsterdam. I thought about closing them, but decided not to. The cuter HB had said she was going home to Ft. Myers for the weekend and that's the one I had wanted to close. I decided to just eject. I told them to have a good afternoon, and for the HB6.5 to enjoy her trip home. I then sat down next to my friends.

They got up about a minute later. As they walked by me, they said, "Bye." The HB6 also said, "Bye, Ted. Have a good afternoon." I realized that was a huge IOI that she addressed me by name like that. I also knew that I had done well with both of them.

Analysis:
I should have tried to # close both girls. I didn't want to close the HB6 b/c she wasn't that hot, but that was stupid. The two girls I lcosed earlier were hotter, but the logistics were bad. The one girl was from FSU and the other supposedly lost her phone, even though I had her number. The HB6, was going to be around this weekend for sure. I should have closed her just to do it. If I didn't want her, I didn't have to call. Since I didn't close, I keep thinking about how I should have. Maybe I could have boosted my confidence more by laying her. Oh well. The night is young...

Conclusions:
This number closing isn't that hard. I wish I had gotten past this SP earlier, but oh well. I feel great now and I think I can close more HB's tonight. Now, I just have to work on kiss closing or Fclosing. I also have to work on phone game and Day 2's. I'll probably be doing more of that in Chicago considering I'm leaving on Monday.

2006-01-26T09:21:00.000-06:00

Daygame>Nightgame?

Just a week ago, I would have thought that it wasn't even close. I had only done one or two daygame approaches while I have done a few hundred club approaches. The past few days have opened up my day game. Though I initially felt down after the mass approaches on Friday, I now feel like it's given me more confidence to do daytime approaches.

Starbucks & Crappy Sketch Artist:

Seamas, a female friend (who needs a nickname), and I met up to go out Wednesday night. Since we were in the downtown area of Gainesville, we decided to stop at the Starbucks there. It is the biggest Starbucks in the area and it was full of people at 9:30PM when we rolled in. I sarged a girl that was in line but she wasn't responsive and I was just talking to warm up. After I ordered my drink (I have developed a taste for the unsweetened passion flavored ice tea), I saw the same girl waiting for her drinked so I asked her about the club scene. She seemed nervous and not knowledgeable to I didn't really care that she was ready to leave as soon as she got her drink. Just to maintain momentum, I asked the girl behind the counter about the bar scene. (Most of the responses I've gotten about the Wed night scene is that Gator City is the happening place.)

After we got a table, Seamas kept making eye contact with this blonde 2-set. While he was debating whether or not he should approach, I was focused on two lone wolves. One was a blonde HB7 that reminded me of my ex. Another was a redhead HB7.5. I decided that the redhead was cuter and seemed like she'd be more pleasant so I decided I would approach.

Crappy Sketch Artist:
The technique is explained here. In night game, I feel comfortable walking up to sets and using an opinion opener b/c I set it up so it looks like I'm just happening to walk by. Just as I'm walking by, I turn my head sideways and run the opener. At the Starbucks, I'd feel comfortable doing the same thing if the table is on the way from the washroom or the counter, or if the table is nearby. HBreadhead, though, was on the far side of the room and I was in the middle. To get to her table, I'd have to squeeze through a maze of seated people and tables. I figured I wouldn't be able to pull of indirect because it wouldn't make sense for me to weave through that maze just to ask her if she'd date a guy in a tent. I did feel comfortable running crappy sketch artist because I have run it two times already (with good reaction).

I walked up to HBred, gave her the folded paper, and said, "You have inspired me to high art." She opened it and giggled. I replied, "I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor. It's a highly abstract work of art with a touch of realism." She went along with it and said, 'I should keep this."
Me: It's going to be worth something.
HB: But it says I'm only semi-cute (I wrote on the paper: Semi-cute redhead at Starbucks, Ted, 2006).
Me: I didn't get a good look from far away. Besides, I think personality is more important that looks. Besides your sense of humor, what qualities do you have to offer?
HB: I don't know. Lots.
Me: (I realized I couldn't get her to qualify yet so I went into the tent opener.)
HBred gave an "It depends" answer and then asked if I lived in a tent.
Me: Yeah, I'm thinking about getting a tent on a beach in Maui. (In her tent response, she had said she'd base her decision on why the tent guy was living there. She said something like if he was living there to try out the LA scene, it would be different that if he were just vegging out there.) I decided to run "Are you Adventurous/Spontaneous?'
HBred: (to Adventurous?) Yes.
Me: Really? Tell me the most adventurous thing you've done. (Then my usual immediate reply of: Actually, I don't know how weird you are yet. Just tell me something that you've done that's a little adventurous.)
HBred: I don't know. You can just think up random stories like that.
Me: (I wanted to demonstrate a story but I felt it might be qualifying, so I asked her if she were spontaneous.)
HBred: Yes. (When prodded for an example, she immediately gave one. I don't remember the exact story.)
Me: See, it wasn't that hard to come up with a story. I'm glad that you're adventurous and spontaneous b/c I only hang out people who are adventuous. If you had said no to either of those questions, I would have to walk away.
HBred: Well, you get points for approaching me.
Me: (I was about to say that I give her a star for a sense of humor and being spontaneous. Then I was going to say that she need to get X (probalby 5 stars) to get a prize. Before I could do this, Seamas's friend, our pivot, came up to me.)
Pivot: We have to get going soon.

I knew she had come up b/c Seamas had said before that he was going to try to constrain me so I would be forced to close. I really think I was on my way to closing, but I wanted to game her a little more. Pivot's approach stalled the set as HBred said, "Well, I guess I should be getting back to my work." I felt like I hadn't ran enough game so I didn't want to close so I just walked away.

Analysis:
I think I was ready to close her as I had that goal in mind. Seamas was trying to be helpful, but it ended up blowing me out because I wasn't ready for it. Thinking back on it, I should have just tried to close HBred anyway. When she said she had to get back to her work, I could have said something like, "I have a feeling if we could talk without these constraints, we'd have a good time. What steps can we take to make sure we can talk again?"

I have to remember that ASF people say that number closing is easy. She probably would have given me her number, though she probably would have flaked since I didn't feel like I had built enough rapport. I know that getting numbers, even ones that will be flakes, is the way to get me past my SP. Still, I do feel like I'm ready to close. I found myself constantly evaluating when I should close. This is in contrast to all my sarges up to yesterday. There, I'd always be thinking on what routines or questions I could ask next and not when I should close. With the goal firmly in my head, I think I will close before I leave FL.

Street Approaches:
We had a successful street sarge after Starbucks. We talked to these HB6's for about 10 minutes. I was ready to close my target until she said she was married. People on ASF say that you should try to close those anyway, but I just don't feel like I'm good enough to game married girls. On top of that, I had been trying to pattern love and connection. On married girls, you have to try to build attraction and lust. With my patterns, I was sending out the signal that I was looking for a soulmate, which many girls probably would eat up, but if you're going to close married girls, you don't do it by trying to build a deep connection.

Club Game:

We went to the bar area near the UF campus as that's where people go on Wednesdays. We ended up at the club next to Gator City as GC was filled to capacity. I opened a few sets but only a few were worth talking about.

Drunk Girl:
There was this drunk HB6 that I had approached several times. I felt like I was doing pretty well but she kept walking away. It seemed like she was really fitting into that ADD party girl sterotype as she couldn't keep still at all, even when I wasn't talking to her. I even got a kino IOI from here when I busted her on her coughing. She happened to be getting a drink next to me one time, and I turned and asked her if she had avian bird flu. I said wanted to know b/c I didn't want to catch it. She giggled and then touched me in the way that shows that she was enjoying my teasing.

Seamas kept asking me to go back to her. I had approached her like 3-4 times, but she seemed too drunk to game. I was proven correct shortly after b/c she got booted from the club by the cops for being too drunk.

Pivot works:
Our pivot proved her worth by pulling a girl from the dance floor. Seamas talked to her briefly and seemed to be doing well. I then started talking to her. Seamas and our pivot walked away and left me isolated but I wasn't able to get anything going. She wouldn't do the ESP test and I couldn't get her to respond. She said she had to go look for her friends and would be back so I walked away. (You never wait for girls b/c they likely aren't coming back and you look like a tol if you are still standing there later. Of course, if you've run great game and she legitimately has to go to the washroom or something, you could stay, but this clearly wasn't the case here.)

Party guy:
I didn't feel like I was in total party mood like I've felt in Maui or at Alumni Club Schaumburg. That part of my personality did show a few times. I feel like I'm good with the one liners. I can make girls giggle with comments as I walk by but I haven't figured out how to actually run game after that. I guess the answer is that I just stop after I get a positive reaction and start running routines. Some examples:

-I saw a girl standing by the wall, playing with her cell phone. As I walked by, I said, "Did he call yet?" I learned that line from mASF and so far it works. She giggled after I said that, but I kept walking.

-When girls bump into me or make contact with me, I bust them for being drunk. I also have been saying, "Hey, watch it. I need at least a foot of personal space around me." I usually get a few laughs and I know I'm DHV by being a challenge. This is completely opposite of what AFC's would do. They would try to get felt up more or turn all sappy. Again, my problem is with the follow up. I think after I run the line, I'm going to say something like, "Well, if you're going to stand there, why don't you give me your opinion on something my buddy and I were discussing (then run tent opener)."

Did you grab my ass?

I actually could have used that opener last night, but didn't think of it until later. I was talking to Seamas when I felt someone invading my personal space. A had even brushed against my ass. I turned and saw some girl standing to close to me. I should have turned and said, "Did you grab my ass?" or "Hey, take it easy. It's $20 a touch here." Instead, I ran the personal space routine in the last paragraph. She then walked away b/c I didn't run any more game.

Comparisons:

I guess I didn't enjoy night game as much as I wasn't able to completely transform into total party guy mode. I think I need to take a nap in the afternoon so I'm better rested. A bigger factor might be that I'm getting used to being heard easily in day game. Club game seems more frustrating now as I have to almost yell to be heard. Also, you get unseen obstacles pulling targets away. In day game, there are more lone wolves so you get more time to run game.

2006-01-25T17:24:00.000-06:00

Not Sarging at Starbucks:

I'm at a Starbucks near the UF campus in Gainesville. I'm messing around on my computer while Seamas conducts some meeting with a student of his. I should be sarging this whole place, but I'm hesistant to do so. I don't know why considering I did a few sarges here the other day.

If I learned anything, I need to be positive. I was fun and outgoing as we walked from campus to here. I even caused a few girls to smile.

Comped Refill:

IOI? Right before I finished the last sentence, I decided to get a free refill on my unsweeted passion ice tea. I believe these normally cost $0.56. For some reason, the girl working decided to give me a comped refill. Why would she do this? I didn't really sarge when I ordered the tea originally. While she was making the order, I just asked her about the bar scene. Maybe my body language and positive attitude has her attracted to me. I guess I'll try to feed off of this.

2006-01-25T17:09:00.000-06:00

Reported a drunk:

I was driving up to Gainesville from my parents house in Citrus County. In front of me was a blue car with Florida plates that was swerving all over the road. At first, I thought the person was just distracted, but after it kept happening, I realized that this person had to be plastered. The woman was having a very hard time keeping the car in the lane. She'd start drifting towards the shoulder and then she'd correct it. A few times, one tire even went off the pavement.

Prior to today, I had seen drunk drivers before, but I have never actually reported one. One time I was with my friend "Jas" and I told him I wanted to report a driver. Jas didn't want me to and he said it was "bad karma." What he meant, though, was that it was bad to call in a drunk b/c it would mean that I would get busted when I was driving impaired. I told him that he didn't understand the concept of karma: if anything, good things would happen to me in the future as a result of me reporting a drunk. In any case, I don't believe in the concept so it wouldn't affect my decision. I also explained that if I were drunk enough to be reported or pulled over, then I probably deserve to get a DUI. I asked him how he would feel if he didn't report a drunk that he saw and then found out that the person had gotten into an accident and killed some people.

That reasoning is what convinced me to report this driver. This was the most swerving I've ever seen anyone do on the road. I've seen minor swerving, where the person is not staying steady in his lane or is just drifting a bit into the adjoining lane, but this was beyond that. I made the decision to call when I saw how much oncoming traffic there was. We were on SR-200 and there was one lane in each direction with just a yellow line diving the traffic. The speed limit was 55 so a head-on collision would most likely be deadly.

I dialed 911 and got no answer. I tried a second time and was connected with a Citrus County dispatcher. When I explained my location, he transfered me to Marion County as I was about to cross the border. I followed this woman for a good 10 minutes while on the phone with the dispatcher. I was supposed to go this direction anyway and the woman didn't make any terms. Just before she turned off, I was able to get a description of the woman and the tag number. The dispatcher said he'd send a unit, but I wonder if anything really happened. Part of me wishes I had followed the woman into the lot so I could make sure she got busted. She was that dangerous.

The funny part of the whole thing was that she turned off about one or two blocks away from the Sheriff station. If she had kept going up SR-200, I could have told the dispatcher that we just passed their office. Regardless of what ultimately happened to the woman (probably nothing), I should be proud that I did my civic duty of reporting this idiot. This woman needs to get help and not get drunk at 2:45PM. She probably is an alcoholic so I doubt she's going to stop drinking, but I would hope she would stop putting innocent people in danger.

2006-01-24T03:19:00.000-06:00

Improvement clouded by poor frame:

Seamas and I opened a bunch of girls on the University of Florida campus. Before this all started, I would have never thought this possible. I started while I was waiting in the parking lot for Seamas. I opened her by saying "Hi," and then by asking if the cops issue tickets often in this parking lot. I made some small talk but I got bored when I asked her, "What do you do for fun?" She responded, "Nothing really. I watch TV." I knew I could have kept plodding, but I didn't feel like it. I was going to plod anyway, but Seamas called and we had to go return the rental car, so I left.

Later, we returned to campus. We walked around and greeted many people that we walked by. I still find this to be a great warm up. I find that it gets me in the social mood and it allows demonstrates how rejection doesn't matter. When you say, "Hi" to random people, the responses vary. Some greet you back, some smile, and some don't say anything.

Are you talking to me?

I saw how a girl's frame can be really messed up. Seamas was talking to someone he knew so I decided to say something to this Asian girl. She had her heads in her hands and seemed to be in a horrible mood. I decided to say, "Hey. Are you all right there? You seem to be having a bad day?" She responded, "Are you talking to me?" I replied, "Yeah. Cheer up." I think I got a smile out of her and then I just ejected.

The lesson to be learned here is the same lesson that I learn from girls who don't respond to my, "Hi" on the street. Some girls are in their own world and their frame might be so bad that they don't believe you could possible be talking to them. I guess I've been there myself.

Ejected again too soon:
I made this mistake of ejecting early. Seamas wanted me to open some girl and I saw a hotter blonde with nice legs walk out of a building nearby. She sat down at a table. Seamas was still trying to get me to approach and I decided just to go do it. I opened her by asking where the Starbucks is, even though Seamas knew. She told me it was right down the street. I then went into the tent opener and I asked her about the bar scene. I then ejected like a dumb ass.

I don't know why I don't follow Gunwitch's saying all the time. I blame it here on the fact that I needed to warm up. I wasn't getting negative signs from her. She was facing me and looking at my face (I couldn't really make eye contact as I was wearing sunglasses.) I think I just got nervous so I ejected. Dumb, but at least I opened her.

Starbucks:

Seamas opens:
Seamas opened a 2-set there while we were waiting for our drinks. I was impressed b/c I was the one who had done most of the opening in the past. I went and tried to occupy this chubby blonde obstacle, but I did a poor job.

3-sec rule:
I have to always make the comments/openers that I feel are right. Before Seamas had opened that set, I saw that the blonde girl had a pink backpack. Earlier, I had seen this cute stuffed, pink, bear for sale near the register. I had thought that it would be cool to suggest that the bear would match well with her backpack. I decided against approaching. About three minutes later, I see the blonde looking at the bear and obviously liking it. Obviously, it would have been money to have opened her about the bear, considering she noticed how much she liked it not too long after I thought about approaching.

I open a lone wolf:

At one point, Seamas had gone outside to talk to some girl that he knew. He had walked away. I sat there thinking about how I should open someone. Since we walked in, I had seen this blonde sititng at a table. I had wanted to open her, but hadn't. I knew I had waited too long, so I didn't want to go right up and do the tent opener. I decided to give crappy sketch artist a try. I drew up a stick figure and wrote "Semi-cute girl at Starbucks; Ted; 2006." I then went up to her and said, "I wanted you to know that you inspired me to high art."
She giggled and I replied, "I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor." I then went into the tent opener.
HB: It depends.
Me: Well, the actually story is that this guy and some friends were renting a place in Hollywood Hills...
HB: That sucks that they made him live out in a tent instead of sleeping on the couch.
Me: tent pattern. (by the way, I noticed that I rush through this. I now realize that I have to go through it slowly and in more detail. I know that I've been rushing it b/c I was afraid it was too lengthy. I realize now that if I go slowly, it will have a better effect, especially in a day game situation where the girl can hear what I'm saying."
HB: I guess I might date a tent guy if it were love at first sight. Do you live in a tent or something?
Me: Yeah, I live in a tent in Maui. (She knew this was BS b/c I had mentioned I was visiting from Chicago earlier in the sarge.)

In retrospect, I should have asked her if she's ever experienced love at first sight and/or had her describe what it feels like.

I later asked her about bars/clubs. She went into details but I didn't really pay attention as I had asked so many people about this.

At one point, she said something to the extent of, "Well, I hope you have fun here." I sensed that she was getting sick of me, so I was preparing to eject after that, but before I could she added, "It was nice meeting you."

Then she paused and said, "What's your name? I'm HBX."

I gave my name and then walked away b/c I figured I had been rejected. I started to read this newspaper that was on the table near me. About two minutes later, she had packed up her stuff. As she left, she said bye to me.

Analysis:

I should note that I made several more approaches after this. I was started to feel that I wasn't in the right mood when I couldn't hold this HB6.5 in a set. I knew it was because I let myself stall and didn't move into routines, but it was a sign of things to come. Later, Seamas wanted to do night game after I had taken a 2 hour nap. I didn't really feel like going but went out anyway. I think my messed up frame showed in my sarges. I wasn't feeling in the mood, so I made a half-assed attempt at sarging and I got the appropriate results. I couldn't hold this set that some cool guy had sarged into coming into the bar. I then ejected from a lone wolf that I had opened well:

She had bumped into me and I had busted her for being drunk. I then said, "I need to have a personal space of about one feet around me." I knew I was doing okay b/c she giggled and was facing me after I said this. Instead of proceeding, I went back to the stale set that the cool guy had brought into the bar. I obviously should have ran more game on that girl who ran into me.

Anyway...

Seamas and I discussed the Starbucks sarge. Immediately after it happened, I was confused about the situation. I'm considering posting it to mASF. I don't think I had the girl hooked, but I don't think I was doing that badly. I had maintained intermitent eye contact and she wasn't showing any of the negative signs. She didn't have closed body language, and she hadn't been looking around. She was focused on me and was answering my questions with sufficient detail. I think I let my frame mess me up. At the beginning of the sarge, she had said that she was almost ready to leave. At the time, I thought she was just saying that because she was afraid I was going to be boring.

When she said it was nice meeting me, I thought I had been rejected. The voice in my head said, "Here we go again. Other fuck-up. At least I opened. At least I lasted this long when she was getting ready to leave already because of me." It this had been true, then why did she bother asking for my name? That's supposed to be an IOI, especially when it's done that late in a sarge. Furthermore, if she had been completely annoyed by me, why did she bother saying anything to me when she walked out?

Control the frame:
I know the answer to my problems. I need to sarge more and just keep the right frame. I know my sarges didn't go that well because I wasn't putting in my full effort. I was letting some nonclosing situations and rejection bother me. Since I wasn't feeling in the zone, I basically went through some of the routines and motions of sarging, but didn't follow through quickly with more material. I also just wasn't being as outgoing as I can be, especially at the bar later.

I need to remember that I've had some good sarges and that I'll have more like that again.

Beat the sticking point:
I still have yet to close and Seamas closed several people. I have to get past my issue of fearing rejection. The guy on mASF was right when he told me that I need to try to close everytime so I can learn calibration . It sure is better to do that than to keep doing what I'm doing now. As they say, #clsoing isn't the end goal. Once you into the habit of doing that, it becomes easy. #closing is supposed to be easy. Dealing with the flakes and having success in phone game and Day 2's is the next step.

Remember progress & plow through setbacks:
As I've said in other entries, I have given up too many times in situations where I need to be determined. Part of me thinks this is all a waste of time. I focus on the failures and forgot that none of what happened today would have been possible before Ajay's Halloween outing. I need to be positive about my progress and learn from the setbacks instead of losing faith that my game will improve.

2006-01-22T03:56:00.000-06:00

Off night on Friday:

Friday was an off-night. As I think back on the possible reasons, I realize that it was a combination of things. First, we didn't get much sleep b/c Seamas had to teach class in the morning. We had planned on taking a nap but other stuff ended up getting in the way. By the time we ended up going out, we were tired and the bars were set to close in about 1.5 hours. I was also not feeling that great and Seamas was in a bad mood so that didn't help things.

I can say that even on an off night, I did made a few attempts to approach. We went to this Fat Tuesday's place that was dead. There were one or two sets that I should have opened, but I was feeling major approach anxiety. The only sets that I ended up opening were girls that were in line. At one place, we waited in line. I chatted it up with some girls that were waiting too. I just asked general info about the club but nothing else. We ended up not going into that place. Later, we were thinking about waiting in another line. I saw a 2-set (two HB6's) already in line so I got in and asked them about the place. The girl who responded said they had never been there as they usually just go to house parties. I knew that I could have branched a conversation off of that or went into an opener, but I just wasn't feeling it. Also, Seamas wasn't ready to engage the other girl as he was just hanging back.

Lessons:
Raaf is correct in his inner game post that you cannot think about any negative things. That sort of stuff slowly starts to poison your mind and ruin your mood. I was thinking about stuff that was bothering Seamas and I was thinking about my own approach anxiety. I think I'll be more outgoing next time. I understand why I was anxious. Part of it were the factors that I described above. Another contributing factor was that I hadn't sarged since Wednesday of last week. A third reason was that Seamas was right about there being an abundance of hot girls. In Chicago, there are a ton of overweight girls and you usually only see a few hotties. Here in Gainesville, they are everywhere so I felt a little intimidated, even though deep down, I know that I have a lot to offer them

I did think of a good technique that should help me next time. I told Seamas that I need to go into the bar about five or ten minutes before him. That will force me to start talking to people and it should put me into party guy mode.

Forcing Seamas to open:
He still has issues with approach anxiety. Sometimes he approaches (it's very rare though), but lately I've been working on making him do more approaches. I decided that it wasn't fair that I have to be the one to initiate the majority of the approaches. Sometimes I just run out of energy and I need him to be able to push me through those doldrums. If he opens just a few times when I'm not feeling it, then I think we'd be unstopable.

I've also been trying to get him to be more social in general. I explained that you don't have to run game on every girl you see. Instead, you should make it a part of your everyday routine to be saying hi to people and engaging people in small talk. After you get that down, then you can make it a point to run game on every decent looking HB that you see.

Affirmation:
I think it'll help me a ton if I write a quick affirmation. Well, this will be more of a quick self-analysis also.

I know I'm feeling approach anxiety because I feel a little intimidated by the HB's as the average girl here is way better looking than in Chicago. I also know that I'm decent looking, but I still need a lot of work in that department. Of course, those are dumb reasons. I've talked to hotter girls than most of the ones I've seen here. I have to remind myself that I have a lot to offer these girls and my game is good. I can make them feel the emotions that they want to feel and I geniunely do think that I'd give them a great time. There are tons of AFC's here that have no game and I'll appear even better because I have more confidence then them and I won't do the lame shit that they do.

As for looks, while that's a huge factor in attraction for men, it isn't as high on the list for women. As they way on FS, unless you're a male supermodel or something, you're not going to make women doggy eyed by just your looks alone. Men on the other hand will get all crazy over any beautiful women. When I get in great shape again, I'll get more "auditions" but it will be my game that will help me get the women that I so desire. Having been in great shape two and a half years ago, I know that game is the most important thing. I didn't get anywhere with girls at the bars because I made few approaches and I did typical AFC stuff.

Speaking of approaches, another thing I have to remember is that I need to make a ton of approaches. There are so many women here. Even if I had zero game or if I opened with a total BS opener like telling every girl I met that she was beautiful or telling them that I just wanted sex, I'd eventually get a "fool's mate" lay. Of course, I have good game so my success rate will be higher than doing something lame like that, but I still should maximize my exposure. If I approach enough women, I'll get the fool's mate girls, and I'll pull a few more b/c of my game. I'll have poor results if I don't approach enough so if I really want to make something happen on this trip, I need to be an approach machine.

Every time that I start to feel negatively, I will purge the thoughts from my brain. If I'm worried I won't be able to game a set, I have to remember the many times that I've done stuff right. I have to remember that week Seamas and I went out between Christmas and New Year's. Just about every night I had a good set going that I could have closed. If I approach for like 3 hours in the day time, and 3 hours at night on this trip, I'm going to close some girls. Now I just have to start this all on Monday.