Saturday, October 15, 2005

Recovery:

As I detaiiled in my previous post, my life's been at an almost all-time low. Ever since the blowup, I've felt myself to be under extreme stress and I found myself lashing out over the stupidest things. Fortunately, my mother had planned on coming into town this week, so even last week, I felt I could see some glimmer of salvation on the horizon. I didn't feel like things finally did turn around until I received some books I ordered from Amazon.com on Thursday and Friday.

On Thursday, I received Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork by Governor Mike Huckabee. I remembered hearing Governor Huckabee on the Hannity radio show one of the days I was commuting to the Harrah's. They had discussed his book, and I remember making a mental note to check it out in the bookstore. When I was in Philadelphia in May, I perused it at the bookstore and thought it might be inspriational but I put off buying it. I read it Thursday night and I felt inspired by it. Sure, I knew most of the stuff he explained in the book, but I felt movited by two things in particular that he wrote in the book. The first was that you were never going to find time to exercise but instead had to schedule time for it. As everyone else probably does, I thought my days were busy. Of course, I set my own schedule, but I always felt like I needed to work more and that I didn't have enough time to do all that I needed. By reading the book, I was forced to realize that Governor Huckabee was able to schedule time to exercise and he's way busier than me. I also remember that President Bush schedules time for his runs even though he is the President, so surely I could find time in my own, non-so-important life for exercise. The seecond gem I got from the book was from a chapter entitled "STOP Ignoing Signals from Your Body."

He listed the following, among other things: 1) Being tired even when you haven't extrted yourself physically, 3) Lethargy, and 4) Depression (pages 61-2). I knew that poor eating habits and no exercise would cause those things, but reading the book reinforced those ideas for me. I knew that I was always tired all the time, even when I slept 12 or 14 hours in a day. I knew that eating whole pizzas would make me feel lethargic but I had been trying to overcome that by eating more. Last week, I even got to the point of just eating as much as possible just to do it because I didn't care anymore. I had eaten several gallons of ice cream, and I knew I was out of control. Aftering reading the book on Thursday, I went for my first run in weeks Friday, and I also controled my eating in a way that I also hadn't done in weeks.

After my run, I felt great and realized that I needed to reintegrate exercise back into my life or I'll alwasy be miserable. My life is very stressful and if I don't release it through exercise, I find myself just unable to cope with life in general. I hoping to run several times a week again, and maybe in the near future, I'll also start lifting weights. I want to get in shape so I can be healthy, and so I can help myself with a goal I just created after reading a book that arrived on Friday.

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