Sunday, May 07, 2006
Am I afraid of success?
Sunday, I start to get back on the right path. I haven't sarged since Wednesday. Today was the first day that I actually felt I was back to my old self, but I just didn't feel like going out to the bars. I guess I get sick of going sarging alone. I hung out with my friends. We saw MI:3, which was good. I could have sarged a lone wolf while waiting for the movie to start, but I make up an excuse not to do so. After the movie, I had planned on going to the bar, but I ended up just playing video games with the guys until about 1:00AM. If I'm going to go to the bar, the days to do it are Saturday and Friday. I've always had better success those days b/c there are more normal, non party girls there. I need to force myself to always go on at least one of those nights, and preferable both.
Bad night for FL wings:
I have two buddies in FL that I wish I could wing with right now. They told me a depressing story about going to the bar and not opening any sets. Their goal was to sarge, and only one guy opened any sets. I believe he opened two or three, got busted out, and then they just sat there the rest of the night. I have to keep reminding myself that I do pretty well at the bar solo. I always force myself to go around and open sets. I almost always set up some sort of base, and I've been getting progressively better at that. I had an all girl base three weeks ago, and Tuesday I had a 1 guy/2 girl base. I'm sure I can have a guy or guy set base every time I go out. As I get better, I'll start creating female pivot bases which will really help me out with the social proof. I sometime forget that it's a huge deal to do what I can do easily. In my AFC days, I never would have believed I'd someday be able to do that. I have a lot of problems with my game, but it seems that I was able to jump into the solo bar sarging pretty easily.
Fear of success:
I think I have this psychological block that makes me fear success. I noticed that it happens in all aspects of my life. I can see that I'm getting close to the minimum skill level that will start getting me regular action. I should be able to start closing 7's more often. Perhaps, I'm afraid to let myself succeed as I'm so used to just staying in stagnation or failure. I did the same thing in my poker career. Anytime I get near to the point where I no longer had a chance of failure, I'd do something stupid to jeopardize it. I'd go try to play higher limits and get busted up. When I stopped doing that, I'd just not work for a few months so I could burn through my bank roll. Heck, I'm still one paper from finishing my degree yet I decided to avoid success there too. I think it's time I really acknowledged that I have this problem and it's time for me to take steps to get past it.
Sunday, I start to get back on the right path. I haven't sarged since Wednesday. Today was the first day that I actually felt I was back to my old self, but I just didn't feel like going out to the bars. I guess I get sick of going sarging alone. I hung out with my friends. We saw MI:3, which was good. I could have sarged a lone wolf while waiting for the movie to start, but I make up an excuse not to do so. After the movie, I had planned on going to the bar, but I ended up just playing video games with the guys until about 1:00AM. If I'm going to go to the bar, the days to do it are Saturday and Friday. I've always had better success those days b/c there are more normal, non party girls there. I need to force myself to always go on at least one of those nights, and preferable both.
Bad night for FL wings:
I have two buddies in FL that I wish I could wing with right now. They told me a depressing story about going to the bar and not opening any sets. Their goal was to sarge, and only one guy opened any sets. I believe he opened two or three, got busted out, and then they just sat there the rest of the night. I have to keep reminding myself that I do pretty well at the bar solo. I always force myself to go around and open sets. I almost always set up some sort of base, and I've been getting progressively better at that. I had an all girl base three weeks ago, and Tuesday I had a 1 guy/2 girl base. I'm sure I can have a guy or guy set base every time I go out. As I get better, I'll start creating female pivot bases which will really help me out with the social proof. I sometime forget that it's a huge deal to do what I can do easily. In my AFC days, I never would have believed I'd someday be able to do that. I have a lot of problems with my game, but it seems that I was able to jump into the solo bar sarging pretty easily.
Fear of success:
I think I have this psychological block that makes me fear success. I noticed that it happens in all aspects of my life. I can see that I'm getting close to the minimum skill level that will start getting me regular action. I should be able to start closing 7's more often. Perhaps, I'm afraid to let myself succeed as I'm so used to just staying in stagnation or failure. I did the same thing in my poker career. Anytime I get near to the point where I no longer had a chance of failure, I'd do something stupid to jeopardize it. I'd go try to play higher limits and get busted up. When I stopped doing that, I'd just not work for a few months so I could burn through my bank roll. Heck, I'm still one paper from finishing my degree yet I decided to avoid success there too. I think it's time I really acknowledged that I have this problem and it's time for me to take steps to get past it.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Archive gems:
I'm suffering from inner game problems that I hope to begin resolving this weekend. In the meantime, I've been occupying myself by reading mASF zip archives. I wanted to write down some important stuff I've learned so I don't forget them.
Kino:
I accidentally downloaded the archives of a poster named "scoob." I'm actually glad I did as I've learned some good stuff. In this post, he emphasizes the importance of kino. Of course, I've read all this stuff before, but I read in another post that we sometimes do little things to protect our ego from rejection. These little things hurt our progress. In club game, I really need to kino more and I'm hurting myself by not doing so. I know that I don't kino like I should b/c I'm totally inexperienced and b/c I fear that I'll get rejected and lose state. I know now that I can get in most sets and run them well for a few minutes. I guess I'm afraid that by adding kino, I'll start having to face rejection more often. I probably will as I'll be miscalibrated ,but just as I learned to open sets by getting rejected, I'll learn how to do proper kino.
Club game:
I now realized that I've been too hard on myself regarding club game. Sure, if I judged my club game by a PUA standard, I'm failing, but I need to be realistic. Once again, this is something I already knew, but reading the archives has really made it sink in. I've read some posts from some of the mASF gurus and big shots that describe their early frustrations with club game; for example, lowrider and Gunwitch both had problems. I've mentioned TD in previous posts. TD said he had ZERO success sarging for his first six months. In one of his early club FR, lowrider describes getting busted out of a ton of sets while practicing the "Blonde Hair" opener. He even vividly describes a huge C&B that messed up his state for the rest of his night. I also came upon a new rAFC like myself from Oregon. In one of his early reports, he talks about some black dude told him, "Get away from me" when he failed to vibe properly. Thinking back on the Scoob archive, I believe I remember him talking about his first solo club FR as him just standing the club and no approaching anyone.
All these examples helps me view my club experiences in a much better light. First, my first club experience was good. I didn't stand around. Instead, I made friends with this guy named Dave who was in the middle of a divorce. On a sidenote, I keep wishing I had number closed him and this other guy Mars. I never run into them in the clubs and both could have easily been turned into decent wings. I just felt weird #closing guys at the time. I owe Dave a lot as his presence my first two solo outings helped me build momentum. The quick camaraderie that we had my first solo night helped me feel confident approaching sets. There were a few times when I had approach anxiety, and he proved himself as able to open (sure, it was often AFC, but he still was able to open, which most AFC's cant do). I easily could have been scared away from club game if I had stood around all night like and AFC And made no approaches. I also could have gotten a huge C&B the first night which would have really discouraged me.
As I posted in December, I was able to make friends on my solo missions in Maui. That was a huge step for me. I never would have gone out to the club alone prior to getting involved in this community. On that trip, I went out when Sidegames wouldn't go, and I made friends on both nights. Heck, both of the dudes even bought me free drinks. I still think about how I messed up a probably fclose with HBtatoo. Heck, why call it probable. It was a definite fclose possibility, but I was too scared to even #close her. Honestly, I haven't had a sarge go down that well since, but I'm sure success is within my grasp. Another fuckup, but great experience was that Alumni Club outing with Colorado Dave. I'll never forget that I decided to just start grinding with that girl when Colorado Dave pulled a bad wing move and started hitting on my target. I was pretty good that night except I failed to #close and I failed to isolate the HBtwin. Otherwise, I opened well, and did minor kino well. I persisted a la Gunwitch, not once, but twice.
Thinking about those good experiences has helped pump up my mood, even with the other inner game issues that I have to solve. So as I did in my post on Tuesday, I'll go over what's right with my club game. I can open 2-sets and lone wolves easily. As long as the set isn't full of HB9's, I get into most sets and run a good 3-5 minute opening stack. (In the past, I've gotten down about getting busted up by the top end HB's but I read another good gem in scoob's archive. He talks about how you often need mad social proof or peacocking to get the SHB's. As he says it, "If you have any self-doubt, they'll eat you alive." I should still approach the SHB for practice, but should never let it affect my state>) That night, I made my AFC guy base, which is easy, but for the first time, I got into a mixed set base. I should have taken advantage of that better, but I suppose I still can. That crew said they go to Dakota's a ton, so I'll likely see them again. I should just vibe with them. I don't even need to sarge the girls; I should use them as social proof. I bet I can get one or both of the HB's to walk around the club with me to get me social proof. On top of all that, I opened a ton of sets, which I never would have thought possible in my AFC days.
The bottom line then is I must remember that club game is like playing a video on game on the second hardest setting. (Off the top of my head, the strip club would be the hardest setting.) If all of the big names had problems early on in club game, I shouldn't be surprised that I'm having a hard time finding real success. I should remember that I'm even doing better with my early club game than some of the zip archive people. Armed with the knowledge I have and with more practice, I surely will start seeing success. By the end of summer, if I fix the inner game issues and continue sarging, I bet I'll be able to get at least one solid number close a night. (I'm not talking about easy flake numbers. I can probably get one of those now. I'm talking about #'s that are likely to result in future meetings.)
AFC's Getting Lucky, or Not:
I was just about to post this when I remembered something big. I happened about a post about AFC's getting lucky in the scoob archive. I found the thread, which starts off with someone asking how often normal guys get laid. The OP later says he meant "naturals" but people took the question to be how often AFC guys get laid. Formhandle said he went through a 2 year period between lays. Scoob talks about a one year dry spell. With those examples in mind, I shouldn't feel frustrated that I'm currently "effectively sterile" (to use Mystery's term). Sure, it sucks, but that's soon going to change if I continue on this journey. I should be happy that I read The Game and discovered this stuff, or I might have been left to believe that I never would get the HB's, that I didn't deserve HB's b/c some guys are just not good with women, and there's nothing you good do about it. Even worse, I could have fell into what one poster describes as the marriage pattern. I believe the poster was formhandle, who says that AFC's only get laid by getting lucky: either they find some girl that really wants them and the girl makes it happen, or the AFC happens upon the magic formula that results in lay. AFC's then get so frustrated when the relationship ends and they can't get lucky again for a long time. AFC's then decide to get into a marriage b/c they want to avoid ever having to face that frustration again. I can't help but look at some of my AFC friends and wonder if that's what happened to them.
I think about this movie event I'm going to on Saturday with a bunch of college friends. All, but one of them is married. One is my weekend wing who actually has a ton of natural game. I just need to get him to believe and apply this fastseduction stuff and he'd be an excellent wing. The rest are AFC's (or even WBAFC's and BAFC's) who probably have been "effectively sterile" longer than me. I just wish I could open their eyes, but having been an AFC, I know they think this stuff is all junk or as TD mentions briefly in this "State Control" post, they'd get all pissy b/c it would mean admitting that they were bad with women (which TD says implies several bad characteristics). Once again, I have to be happy that I took the "red pill." (Community guys like using that Matrix quote b/c it really is a epiphany to discover the PUA world.)
I'm suffering from inner game problems that I hope to begin resolving this weekend. In the meantime, I've been occupying myself by reading mASF zip archives. I wanted to write down some important stuff I've learned so I don't forget them.
Kino:
I accidentally downloaded the archives of a poster named "scoob." I'm actually glad I did as I've learned some good stuff. In this post, he emphasizes the importance of kino. Of course, I've read all this stuff before, but I read in another post that we sometimes do little things to protect our ego from rejection. These little things hurt our progress. In club game, I really need to kino more and I'm hurting myself by not doing so. I know that I don't kino like I should b/c I'm totally inexperienced and b/c I fear that I'll get rejected and lose state. I know now that I can get in most sets and run them well for a few minutes. I guess I'm afraid that by adding kino, I'll start having to face rejection more often. I probably will as I'll be miscalibrated ,but just as I learned to open sets by getting rejected, I'll learn how to do proper kino.
Club game:
I now realized that I've been too hard on myself regarding club game. Sure, if I judged my club game by a PUA standard, I'm failing, but I need to be realistic. Once again, this is something I already knew, but reading the archives has really made it sink in. I've read some posts from some of the mASF gurus and big shots that describe their early frustrations with club game; for example, lowrider and Gunwitch both had problems. I've mentioned TD in previous posts. TD said he had ZERO success sarging for his first six months. In one of his early club FR, lowrider describes getting busted out of a ton of sets while practicing the "Blonde Hair" opener. He even vividly describes a huge C&B that messed up his state for the rest of his night. I also came upon a new rAFC like myself from Oregon. In one of his early reports, he talks about some black dude told him, "Get away from me" when he failed to vibe properly. Thinking back on the Scoob archive, I believe I remember him talking about his first solo club FR as him just standing the club and no approaching anyone.
All these examples helps me view my club experiences in a much better light. First, my first club experience was good. I didn't stand around. Instead, I made friends with this guy named Dave who was in the middle of a divorce. On a sidenote, I keep wishing I had number closed him and this other guy Mars. I never run into them in the clubs and both could have easily been turned into decent wings. I just felt weird #closing guys at the time. I owe Dave a lot as his presence my first two solo outings helped me build momentum. The quick camaraderie that we had my first solo night helped me feel confident approaching sets. There were a few times when I had approach anxiety, and he proved himself as able to open (sure, it was often AFC, but he still was able to open, which most AFC's cant do). I easily could have been scared away from club game if I had stood around all night like and AFC And made no approaches. I also could have gotten a huge C&B the first night which would have really discouraged me.
As I posted in December, I was able to make friends on my solo missions in Maui. That was a huge step for me. I never would have gone out to the club alone prior to getting involved in this community. On that trip, I went out when Sidegames wouldn't go, and I made friends on both nights. Heck, both of the dudes even bought me free drinks. I still think about how I messed up a probably fclose with HBtatoo. Heck, why call it probable. It was a definite fclose possibility, but I was too scared to even #close her. Honestly, I haven't had a sarge go down that well since, but I'm sure success is within my grasp. Another fuckup, but great experience was that Alumni Club outing with Colorado Dave. I'll never forget that I decided to just start grinding with that girl when Colorado Dave pulled a bad wing move and started hitting on my target. I was pretty good that night except I failed to #close and I failed to isolate the HBtwin. Otherwise, I opened well, and did minor kino well. I persisted a la Gunwitch, not once, but twice.
Thinking about those good experiences has helped pump up my mood, even with the other inner game issues that I have to solve. So as I did in my post on Tuesday, I'll go over what's right with my club game. I can open 2-sets and lone wolves easily. As long as the set isn't full of HB9's, I get into most sets and run a good 3-5 minute opening stack. (In the past, I've gotten down about getting busted up by the top end HB's but I read another good gem in scoob's archive. He talks about how you often need mad social proof or peacocking to get the SHB's. As he says it, "If you have any self-doubt, they'll eat you alive." I should still approach the SHB for practice, but should never let it affect my state>) That night, I made my AFC guy base, which is easy, but for the first time, I got into a mixed set base. I should have taken advantage of that better, but I suppose I still can. That crew said they go to Dakota's a ton, so I'll likely see them again. I should just vibe with them. I don't even need to sarge the girls; I should use them as social proof. I bet I can get one or both of the HB's to walk around the club with me to get me social proof. On top of all that, I opened a ton of sets, which I never would have thought possible in my AFC days.
The bottom line then is I must remember that club game is like playing a video on game on the second hardest setting. (Off the top of my head, the strip club would be the hardest setting.) If all of the big names had problems early on in club game, I shouldn't be surprised that I'm having a hard time finding real success. I should remember that I'm even doing better with my early club game than some of the zip archive people. Armed with the knowledge I have and with more practice, I surely will start seeing success. By the end of summer, if I fix the inner game issues and continue sarging, I bet I'll be able to get at least one solid number close a night. (I'm not talking about easy flake numbers. I can probably get one of those now. I'm talking about #'s that are likely to result in future meetings.)
AFC's Getting Lucky, or Not:
I was just about to post this when I remembered something big. I happened about a post about AFC's getting lucky in the scoob archive. I found the thread, which starts off with someone asking how often normal guys get laid. The OP later says he meant "naturals" but people took the question to be how often AFC guys get laid. Formhandle said he went through a 2 year period between lays. Scoob talks about a one year dry spell. With those examples in mind, I shouldn't feel frustrated that I'm currently "effectively sterile" (to use Mystery's term). Sure, it sucks, but that's soon going to change if I continue on this journey. I should be happy that I read The Game and discovered this stuff, or I might have been left to believe that I never would get the HB's, that I didn't deserve HB's b/c some guys are just not good with women, and there's nothing you good do about it. Even worse, I could have fell into what one poster describes as the marriage pattern. I believe the poster was formhandle, who says that AFC's only get laid by getting lucky: either they find some girl that really wants them and the girl makes it happen, or the AFC happens upon the magic formula that results in lay. AFC's then get so frustrated when the relationship ends and they can't get lucky again for a long time. AFC's then decide to get into a marriage b/c they want to avoid ever having to face that frustration again. I can't help but look at some of my AFC friends and wonder if that's what happened to them.
I think about this movie event I'm going to on Saturday with a bunch of college friends. All, but one of them is married. One is my weekend wing who actually has a ton of natural game. I just need to get him to believe and apply this fastseduction stuff and he'd be an excellent wing. The rest are AFC's (or even WBAFC's and BAFC's) who probably have been "effectively sterile" longer than me. I just wish I could open their eyes, but having been an AFC, I know they think this stuff is all junk or as TD mentions briefly in this "State Control" post, they'd get all pissy b/c it would mean admitting that they were bad with women (which TD says implies several bad characteristics). Once again, I have to be happy that I took the "red pill." (Community guys like using that Matrix quote b/c it really is a epiphany to discover the PUA world.)
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Make Statements:
I think this KJing is helping. I forgot to list another sticking point: I've gotten to a point where I find myself asking too many questions. I've been cutting down on this ever since that Atlanta girl sarge with Jason, but I still do it too much. Juggler talks about making statements. I need to make statements about things and introduce new topics of conversation laike that. As he says, you have to carry 90% of the converation when you open a girl that has not given you AI (approach invitation). Asking too many questions make you look beta and comes off as rapport seeking. I'm going to actively work on this SP today.
I think this KJing is helping. I forgot to list another sticking point: I've gotten to a point where I find myself asking too many questions. I've been cutting down on this ever since that Atlanta girl sarge with Jason, but I still do it too much. Juggler talks about making statements. I need to make statements about things and introduce new topics of conversation laike that. As he says, you have to carry 90% of the converation when you open a girl that has not given you AI (approach invitation). Asking too many questions make you look beta and comes off as rapport seeking. I'm going to actively work on this SP today.
Sticking Points:
- Group dynamics: I'm feeling really tired today. I'll probably go for a jog so I'll have energy to go do some day game, but right now, I'm KJing. I'm reading Juggler's Method right now. I'm reading about group dynamics and I realize that I need a ton more practice with that. Since I got interested in this stuff, I know that girls, especially hot girls, roll in groups in bars/clubs. As I've said in other posts, I've gotten good with 2-sets. With the right wing, I think I have good enough experience with 2-sets. I've become braver and have been tackling the bigger sets, but I kept getting CB'ed by the obstacles. I know this is b/c I'm not keeping them interested and I'm not DHVing enough to them.
-Escalating: I had this problem in my Day2 which probably explains why she hasn't called me back. Especially in clubs, I need to be isolating and escalating.
-Ejecting: I do this less often but I still do it more than I should. Gunwitch is right when he says that you should NEVER eject from a set. Mystery says the same thing in his DVD when he answers the question, "When do you think it's worth cutting off a set early?" He responds that he'll eject when a girl says, "Will you please go away? Thank you."
-Married or engaged women: Non-Community people will think this is horrible. Community people will say that their status doesn't matter. There are many Field Reports of guys that fclosed engaged women. As for married women, the divorce rate is like 50% so there is a good chance she is in one of those marriages that aren't working. She might be stuck in passionless marriage and wants to feel the lust and excitement of being with a new guy. Besides, I'm running indirect so there's no reason not to continue a set when I find out a girl is engaged or married. It's not like I'm hitting on her anyway.
-Hired guns: I think I'm almost past this SP, but I know it's hurt me often in the past. I have to remember that I'm not bothering them, especially when the store is empty. They are probably bored at work and wouldn't mind having some cool guy lead them through some emotions. Anyways, if the girl wants to get rid of me, she just has to say that she has to get back to work. That's the equivalent of the CB saying "Let's go dance" or "Let's go to the bathroom." Until the store girl uses her eject, I shouldn't feel nervous or anxious about running game.
-Party girls: I'm having a hard time with "party girls." When they don't do anything but work and go to clubs, I have a hard time finding something interesting to talk about. I like what I did last night with one such girl. I just started getting her to qualify herself by asking her what she does besides clubbing.
- Group dynamics: I'm feeling really tired today. I'll probably go for a jog so I'll have energy to go do some day game, but right now, I'm KJing. I'm reading Juggler's Method right now. I'm reading about group dynamics and I realize that I need a ton more practice with that. Since I got interested in this stuff, I know that girls, especially hot girls, roll in groups in bars/clubs. As I've said in other posts, I've gotten good with 2-sets. With the right wing, I think I have good enough experience with 2-sets. I've become braver and have been tackling the bigger sets, but I kept getting CB'ed by the obstacles. I know this is b/c I'm not keeping them interested and I'm not DHVing enough to them.
-Escalating: I had this problem in my Day2 which probably explains why she hasn't called me back. Especially in clubs, I need to be isolating and escalating.
-Ejecting: I do this less often but I still do it more than I should. Gunwitch is right when he says that you should NEVER eject from a set. Mystery says the same thing in his DVD when he answers the question, "When do you think it's worth cutting off a set early?" He responds that he'll eject when a girl says, "Will you please go away? Thank you."
-Married or engaged women: Non-Community people will think this is horrible. Community people will say that their status doesn't matter. There are many Field Reports of guys that fclosed engaged women. As for married women, the divorce rate is like 50% so there is a good chance she is in one of those marriages that aren't working. She might be stuck in passionless marriage and wants to feel the lust and excitement of being with a new guy. Besides, I'm running indirect so there's no reason not to continue a set when I find out a girl is engaged or married. It's not like I'm hitting on her anyway.
-Hired guns: I think I'm almost past this SP, but I know it's hurt me often in the past. I have to remember that I'm not bothering them, especially when the store is empty. They are probably bored at work and wouldn't mind having some cool guy lead them through some emotions. Anyways, if the girl wants to get rid of me, she just has to say that she has to get back to work. That's the equivalent of the CB saying "Let's go dance" or "Let's go to the bathroom." Until the store girl uses her eject, I shouldn't feel nervous or anxious about running game.
-Party girls: I'm having a hard time with "party girls." When they don't do anything but work and go to clubs, I have a hard time finding something interesting to talk about. I like what I did last night with one such girl. I just started getting her to qualify herself by asking her what she does besides clubbing.
2-3 Years and Two Problems:
I thought about all the sets last night I picked out two problems. First, I wasted an opportunity on that skinny drunk girl. I had opened her 2 set earlier on the dance floor and I saw her sitting on the edge of this couch by herself. She was drunk and yelling out some stuff to this guys that weren't interested in her. I tried asking her one question but didn't get a solid response so I gave up. WTF! I now realize that I should have continued gaming her until she left or told me to go away. She was already isolated so I needed to run some game and then ask her to come outside to the beer garden. I could have run cube or whatever on her. She probably would have been more receptive to this stuff since she had just gotten blown off by some guys. Another failure is that I'm not trying hard enough to isolate my targets. I had a few girls that were in sets larger than 2-sets and I never tried an isolation move. Part of is probably a state control problem like TD takes about. I want to maintain the positive vibe that I get from opening a set well so I don't want to risk rejection, and feeling sorry for myself, by trying an isolation move. That's dumb. I obviously need to work on isolation as I already know how to open sets. Next time I sarge, I'm going to try to isolate whenever I open a 3-set or larger.
I'm reading mASF right now and someone is asking how long the PUA process takes. This particular guy is asking how long it takes to get good at fclosing girls (in other words, getting one night stands the same night that you meet the girl). He was asking guys to comment that had zero success with women when the started and not guys that already had success prior to the community. One guy responded that it takes 2 years of going out 4-7 days a week for 4 hours each time to be able to close "any girl" (his words). I guess I fail to appreciate the true difficulty of this journey. I've seen the 2-3 year mark for PUA status thrown out yet I still get frustrated that I'm getting shit results after only 6 months.
I thought about all the sets last night I picked out two problems. First, I wasted an opportunity on that skinny drunk girl. I had opened her 2 set earlier on the dance floor and I saw her sitting on the edge of this couch by herself. She was drunk and yelling out some stuff to this guys that weren't interested in her. I tried asking her one question but didn't get a solid response so I gave up. WTF! I now realize that I should have continued gaming her until she left or told me to go away. She was already isolated so I needed to run some game and then ask her to come outside to the beer garden. I could have run cube or whatever on her. She probably would have been more receptive to this stuff since she had just gotten blown off by some guys. Another failure is that I'm not trying hard enough to isolate my targets. I had a few girls that were in sets larger than 2-sets and I never tried an isolation move. Part of is probably a state control problem like TD takes about. I want to maintain the positive vibe that I get from opening a set well so I don't want to risk rejection, and feeling sorry for myself, by trying an isolation move. That's dumb. I obviously need to work on isolation as I already know how to open sets. Next time I sarge, I'm going to try to isolate whenever I open a 3-set or larger.
I'm reading mASF right now and someone is asking how long the PUA process takes. This particular guy is asking how long it takes to get good at fclosing girls (in other words, getting one night stands the same night that you meet the girl). He was asking guys to comment that had zero success with women when the started and not guys that already had success prior to the community. One guy responded that it takes 2 years of going out 4-7 days a week for 4 hours each time to be able to close "any girl" (his words). I guess I fail to appreciate the true difficulty of this journey. I've seen the 2-3 year mark for PUA status thrown out yet I still get frustrated that I'm getting shit results after only 6 months.
Frustrating Night at Dakota's
I suppose it's only frustrating b/c I've set higher standards for myself. In the past, I could have considered this a successful night. I started the night at Border's. I go to there like five days a week now. For some reason, I was feeling approach anxiety. I briefly talked to a hired gun there. I saw a 3-set upstairs that I didn't open. I felt like it would be awkward b/c their were talking to some guy that worked there. I saw a 2-set that I planned on opening, but then I made the excuse that they were too young. They probably weren't. I was just making excuses. They were probably 18, but even if they were 17, that's not too young in IL as that's the age of consent. I also avoided opening another 2-set that I saw in the cafe area. I felt shitty about this whole Border's sequence b/c it was completely opposite of my sarges at Starbuck's on Monday. I felt really comfortable for the first time that day and I thought it would be that way today.
I still had some time before my Mix Master Throwdown pass expired at 10PM so I decided to go to the Streets of Woodfield Starbucks. I also go there 5+ days a week now. What I really should do is hang out there longer. Lately, I just walk in, get my drink and open any sets that are around. Tonight, there were no sets when I walked in. I don't mean there were difficult sets, but there literally were no sets. The only woman there were in a couple set: one guy and one girl. Just as I was about to leave, I did see a lone wolf. I opened her by telling her that there was a free drink sitting on the counter. This drink was extra or something b/c it had been sitting there for 10 minutes. I go no response. I should have went into a routine, but I just bailed. I was pissed that I had chickened out on the sets at Border's and now there weren't any sets at Starbucks. I felt better after having my drink, so I comforted myself by telling myself that I'll have all the sets I can handle at Dakota's.
Dakota's:
I got there about 9:45PM. There were about seven cars in the parking lot. I thought more people would take advantage of the free cover, but I wasn't too surprised that it was dead. Dakota's is an after hours places and it typically doesn't get busy until after midnight when the Alumni Club down the street closes. I actually hate Dakota's. It's too small and crowded, and they charge $10 cover on the weekends for the 1.5 hours you can spend there after Alumni closes. I decided it would be worth trying for free.
Maybe it was good that the place was dead b/c it forced me to sarge some sets right away so I wouldn't look like a loser by myself. When I first started sarging solo, I usually was able to get into a guy set so I had a base of operations. As my approach anxiety lessened, I found myself not even bothering to sarge guy sets unless I really needed the warmup. When I used them as warm up sets, I'd BS for about 2-3 minutes and then leave. I knew I needed to have a real base here. I opened a two guy set. The guys were work buddies and were pretty cool. They even introduced me to the $3 personal pitchers. All drinks were $3 and the pitcher was a great deal.
After I chatted with these dudes for a bit, I saw this redhead and brunette walk in. I told the guys I was going to approach. As soon as I said, "I need a female opinion," the redhead said that I'd already asked her this. I then realized that it was the redhead from Alumni Club in Schaumburg on Sat. She was cute, but I have a weakness for redheads. In reality, she's probably an HB7. I tried to recover by running a shitty version of "My Little Pony." The redhead was cold, but still responsive. The friend didn't like me and busted me out. She said that the redhead's boyfriend was "over there" and then dragged the redhead away. I then went back to the guys and told them that I had run my routine on the redhead on Saturday and we all got a laugh about it.
I opened some other sets that didn't really stand out. Now that I think about it, I actually opened a 2set before the guys. I opened this chunky Italian girl with an "Italy" t-shirt on. Her friend was this quiet, have Arab girl. I was in the set for 3-4 minutes until the Italian girl started a conversation up with the bartender. I tried to talk to the Arab girl, but she was quiet and shy so I ejected. I also opened this one girl by negging her. I asked about her nails, but she said they were real, so I just said, "Oh, well I guess they still look nice." I used the "That's a cool shirt, those seem to be popular nowadays" several times as well. I still don't understand that neg but I use it anyway.
I opened a seated 2-set in a booth that bordered the dance floor. I ran the open on them and then this black dude came. I then turned my attention to him. He was pretty cool and apparently, so was I, b/c he immediately moved over and invited me to sit down. I was in this mixed 3-set. I hung out for a few minutes. I even left and came back. I sarged the girls but I couldn't seem to hook them. They were the typical party girls. I negged the hottest girl several times. I probably should have sat next to her and tried to game her, but I didn't. Instead, I gamed the plain looking blonde. She basically told me she didn't do anything but go to the bars. I couldn't get her talking about travel either. Party girls really seem to be a sticking point for me.
One other notable thing is that I ran PVC devil. I opened this two set, again with a neg. I opened this peroxide looking blonde by asking her if her hair was her natural color. She said, "No" and I said, "Oh, you changed it to that?! Well, I guess it looks okay." I later found out she was a hair stylist. LOL. I got a few giggles when I ran PVC devil which is pretty good for my first use. I found out the blonde's friend was her sister-in-law. I think I stalled b/c I was trying to figure out which one was married. I ejected from this set b/c I seemed to be getting nowhere. Later, I saw that the other girl was the married one as she had a dude around her most of the time, and the blonde was alone, except when she was getting sarged. I probably should have approached this set again, but I felt awkward.
What's wrong?
I think I opened over 10 sets. It's probably close to 20 if you include girls that I just made a few comments too. I think I'm still suffering from a lack of confidence sometimes. I opened this blonde with glasses that was from out of town. We chatted for a bit, and then the two UG friends wanted to go to the dance floor. Later, I saw them sitting in the beer garden. I made my usual party guy comments by saying something like, "Hey, I hope you two aren't giving up. The night is still young." The blonde then recognized it was me and said, "Hi" and ask how I was doing. Then the third friend came back from the bathroom. I said something, but apparently I wasn't speaking loud enough. The girl didn't say anything, and then I heard the blonde say that she didn't hear me. I then ejected. I guess I could have sat down at the table and ran some routines. Then, I should have tried to isolate the blonde. I just don't know sometimes when I should persist.
I seem to be great at opening. Of course, there were some hot girls that blew me out right away, but I can get into most sets for a few minutes. I just can't get anywhere past that. There was another two-set that I saw on the dance floor. I later saw the skinnier one sitting on a couch. She was wasted and was yelling stuff at some guys that walked by. The guys weren't interested. I tried chatting with her, but she didn't say anything interesting. Here is probably another fuckup. I should have continued to run game ,but I didn't know what else to say. Later, I saw the two again. I made some comment to the thicker friend, but again, I didn't feel like I could get anywhere so I just gave up.
Not caring and getting AMOG'ed:
I got to the point were I was ready to leave, but I did one last walk around. I saw some HB8 blonde ordering drinks. I figured I'd run game since she was one of the few girls I hadn't opened yet. I was sick of the tent opener so I did a neg opener again. I should have done the lint opener b/c I brought a ball of lint but never used it. I actually forgot I had it until right now. I told her that her shirt seemed to be popular nowadays. I then asked her if she came from Alumni Club. She said she did. I could tell she was being cold with me, so I decided I just didn't give a fuck, so I tried to qualify her, "What do you have going for you besides your looks?" She giggled when I said that. I then busted on her by accusing her of being like all the other club girls that I run into here. I asked her if she didn't anything else but go to the clubs. She said she worked. I gave my usual response of, "Okay. We all have that problem." I think I asked her about travel. I believe at this point, I saw her looking behind me. I wasn't really in state, so I said something insecure like, "I see you're doing that girl eye code to get rid of me." She actually said she wasn't doing it. I knew I was close to getting busted out, though, b/c she had ordered 5 drinks. Sure enough, some AMOG comes in and gets drink from her. He goes in between her and I. I didn't want to feel like a total tool, so I asked him what time the place closed. Then I asked about clubs for Wed, but he had no response. I then shook his hand and told him to have a good night.
Conclusions:
Well, I typed so much about a shitty night. I guess I find it soothing to write about my night. I figure I might learn something. As I said in the beginning, this night would be success if I judged it like I used to judge my early solo outings. I went by myself and created not one, but TWO bases of operation. I opened almost every set. There was this smoking hot brunette in a three set, that constantly was being opened by guys, that I didn't open. I saw the 3-set when I was hanging out with the seated mixed set. Later, I saw the girls with guys, so I don't think I was really being chicken. Other than that, I opened 10-15+ sets and I got into most of them. I also used PVC devil for the first time and even got a few giggles. I got myself into the habit of throwing out negs too as there were a lot of hot girls here (way more than I see at Alumni Club).
Still, I'm pissed that I ejected from a few sets. I'll say that the ones I did it with were sets that I opened again. I figured if the girls left me before, I probably shouldn't overstay my welcome the second time. I approached these particular sets again, because I felt like my target was semi-interested and I just felt like I got CBed b/c of bad logistics. I was probably right with at least one of them, but if I'm going to open a set again, I should make sure I don't repeat the same mistakes. In other words, I should disarm the targets and try for isolation.
I guess I'm also pissed that I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I know that the answer is that I'm slowly improving. Tonight's frustrations will help me somewhere down the line when I fclose some HB9. I just feel like I'm missing something crucial. I guess I don't know how to close party girls. I get the set to like me but when I can't find something that we're both interested in, I feel like I can't get a close. In day game, it seems that I run into more girls that I'd actually be interested in seeing again. I guess I should use the word "date" even though I wouldn't date girls AFC style. I'd fclose these hot party girls, but I sure wouldn't want to spend my free time with them if I weren't having sex with them or using them as pivots/social proof. The Italian and Arab girl set liked bowling. I actually should have #closed them. I don't know why I didn't. Maybe what I need to do next time is run attraction game and then just #close when I feel like I might stall. I think I avoid #closing in these situations where blurring or flaking is likely to occur. Still, I might as well do something. Even if I get a ton of flake numbers, at least I learn calibration. Maybe the bowling girls would have met with me again if I had approached them again and #closed them, or if I hadn't ejected. WTF!
On last thing: I just thought of this as I was about to post. I must remember how I felt with that last HB (the one where the AMOG came in). I was out of state, but I had the right "I don't give a fuck" attitude. I remember that I was leaning back. That was good, but I did make the mistake of facing her when I hadn't won her attention. Still, it felt good to not care and just try to qualify her. I think that surprised her.
I suppose it's only frustrating b/c I've set higher standards for myself. In the past, I could have considered this a successful night. I started the night at Border's. I go to there like five days a week now. For some reason, I was feeling approach anxiety. I briefly talked to a hired gun there. I saw a 3-set upstairs that I didn't open. I felt like it would be awkward b/c their were talking to some guy that worked there. I saw a 2-set that I planned on opening, but then I made the excuse that they were too young. They probably weren't. I was just making excuses. They were probably 18, but even if they were 17, that's not too young in IL as that's the age of consent. I also avoided opening another 2-set that I saw in the cafe area. I felt shitty about this whole Border's sequence b/c it was completely opposite of my sarges at Starbuck's on Monday. I felt really comfortable for the first time that day and I thought it would be that way today.
I still had some time before my Mix Master Throwdown pass expired at 10PM so I decided to go to the Streets of Woodfield Starbucks. I also go there 5+ days a week now. What I really should do is hang out there longer. Lately, I just walk in, get my drink and open any sets that are around. Tonight, there were no sets when I walked in. I don't mean there were difficult sets, but there literally were no sets. The only woman there were in a couple set: one guy and one girl. Just as I was about to leave, I did see a lone wolf. I opened her by telling her that there was a free drink sitting on the counter. This drink was extra or something b/c it had been sitting there for 10 minutes. I go no response. I should have went into a routine, but I just bailed. I was pissed that I had chickened out on the sets at Border's and now there weren't any sets at Starbucks. I felt better after having my drink, so I comforted myself by telling myself that I'll have all the sets I can handle at Dakota's.
Dakota's:
I got there about 9:45PM. There were about seven cars in the parking lot. I thought more people would take advantage of the free cover, but I wasn't too surprised that it was dead. Dakota's is an after hours places and it typically doesn't get busy until after midnight when the Alumni Club down the street closes. I actually hate Dakota's. It's too small and crowded, and they charge $10 cover on the weekends for the 1.5 hours you can spend there after Alumni closes. I decided it would be worth trying for free.
Maybe it was good that the place was dead b/c it forced me to sarge some sets right away so I wouldn't look like a loser by myself. When I first started sarging solo, I usually was able to get into a guy set so I had a base of operations. As my approach anxiety lessened, I found myself not even bothering to sarge guy sets unless I really needed the warmup. When I used them as warm up sets, I'd BS for about 2-3 minutes and then leave. I knew I needed to have a real base here. I opened a two guy set. The guys were work buddies and were pretty cool. They even introduced me to the $3 personal pitchers. All drinks were $3 and the pitcher was a great deal.
After I chatted with these dudes for a bit, I saw this redhead and brunette walk in. I told the guys I was going to approach. As soon as I said, "I need a female opinion," the redhead said that I'd already asked her this. I then realized that it was the redhead from Alumni Club in Schaumburg on Sat. She was cute, but I have a weakness for redheads. In reality, she's probably an HB7. I tried to recover by running a shitty version of "My Little Pony." The redhead was cold, but still responsive. The friend didn't like me and busted me out. She said that the redhead's boyfriend was "over there" and then dragged the redhead away. I then went back to the guys and told them that I had run my routine on the redhead on Saturday and we all got a laugh about it.
I opened some other sets that didn't really stand out. Now that I think about it, I actually opened a 2set before the guys. I opened this chunky Italian girl with an "Italy" t-shirt on. Her friend was this quiet, have Arab girl. I was in the set for 3-4 minutes until the Italian girl started a conversation up with the bartender. I tried to talk to the Arab girl, but she was quiet and shy so I ejected. I also opened this one girl by negging her. I asked about her nails, but she said they were real, so I just said, "Oh, well I guess they still look nice." I used the "That's a cool shirt, those seem to be popular nowadays" several times as well. I still don't understand that neg but I use it anyway.
I opened a seated 2-set in a booth that bordered the dance floor. I ran the open on them and then this black dude came. I then turned my attention to him. He was pretty cool and apparently, so was I, b/c he immediately moved over and invited me to sit down. I was in this mixed 3-set. I hung out for a few minutes. I even left and came back. I sarged the girls but I couldn't seem to hook them. They were the typical party girls. I negged the hottest girl several times. I probably should have sat next to her and tried to game her, but I didn't. Instead, I gamed the plain looking blonde. She basically told me she didn't do anything but go to the bars. I couldn't get her talking about travel either. Party girls really seem to be a sticking point for me.
One other notable thing is that I ran PVC devil. I opened this two set, again with a neg. I opened this peroxide looking blonde by asking her if her hair was her natural color. She said, "No" and I said, "Oh, you changed it to that?! Well, I guess it looks okay." I later found out she was a hair stylist. LOL. I got a few giggles when I ran PVC devil which is pretty good for my first use. I found out the blonde's friend was her sister-in-law. I think I stalled b/c I was trying to figure out which one was married. I ejected from this set b/c I seemed to be getting nowhere. Later, I saw that the other girl was the married one as she had a dude around her most of the time, and the blonde was alone, except when she was getting sarged. I probably should have approached this set again, but I felt awkward.
What's wrong?
I think I opened over 10 sets. It's probably close to 20 if you include girls that I just made a few comments too. I think I'm still suffering from a lack of confidence sometimes. I opened this blonde with glasses that was from out of town. We chatted for a bit, and then the two UG friends wanted to go to the dance floor. Later, I saw them sitting in the beer garden. I made my usual party guy comments by saying something like, "Hey, I hope you two aren't giving up. The night is still young." The blonde then recognized it was me and said, "Hi" and ask how I was doing. Then the third friend came back from the bathroom. I said something, but apparently I wasn't speaking loud enough. The girl didn't say anything, and then I heard the blonde say that she didn't hear me. I then ejected. I guess I could have sat down at the table and ran some routines. Then, I should have tried to isolate the blonde. I just don't know sometimes when I should persist.
I seem to be great at opening. Of course, there were some hot girls that blew me out right away, but I can get into most sets for a few minutes. I just can't get anywhere past that. There was another two-set that I saw on the dance floor. I later saw the skinnier one sitting on a couch. She was wasted and was yelling stuff at some guys that walked by. The guys weren't interested. I tried chatting with her, but she didn't say anything interesting. Here is probably another fuckup. I should have continued to run game ,but I didn't know what else to say. Later, I saw the two again. I made some comment to the thicker friend, but again, I didn't feel like I could get anywhere so I just gave up.
Not caring and getting AMOG'ed:
I got to the point were I was ready to leave, but I did one last walk around. I saw some HB8 blonde ordering drinks. I figured I'd run game since she was one of the few girls I hadn't opened yet. I was sick of the tent opener so I did a neg opener again. I should have done the lint opener b/c I brought a ball of lint but never used it. I actually forgot I had it until right now. I told her that her shirt seemed to be popular nowadays. I then asked her if she came from Alumni Club. She said she did. I could tell she was being cold with me, so I decided I just didn't give a fuck, so I tried to qualify her, "What do you have going for you besides your looks?" She giggled when I said that. I then busted on her by accusing her of being like all the other club girls that I run into here. I asked her if she didn't anything else but go to the clubs. She said she worked. I gave my usual response of, "Okay. We all have that problem." I think I asked her about travel. I believe at this point, I saw her looking behind me. I wasn't really in state, so I said something insecure like, "I see you're doing that girl eye code to get rid of me." She actually said she wasn't doing it. I knew I was close to getting busted out, though, b/c she had ordered 5 drinks. Sure enough, some AMOG comes in and gets drink from her. He goes in between her and I. I didn't want to feel like a total tool, so I asked him what time the place closed. Then I asked about clubs for Wed, but he had no response. I then shook his hand and told him to have a good night.
Conclusions:
Well, I typed so much about a shitty night. I guess I find it soothing to write about my night. I figure I might learn something. As I said in the beginning, this night would be success if I judged it like I used to judge my early solo outings. I went by myself and created not one, but TWO bases of operation. I opened almost every set. There was this smoking hot brunette in a three set, that constantly was being opened by guys, that I didn't open. I saw the 3-set when I was hanging out with the seated mixed set. Later, I saw the girls with guys, so I don't think I was really being chicken. Other than that, I opened 10-15+ sets and I got into most of them. I also used PVC devil for the first time and even got a few giggles. I got myself into the habit of throwing out negs too as there were a lot of hot girls here (way more than I see at Alumni Club).
Still, I'm pissed that I ejected from a few sets. I'll say that the ones I did it with were sets that I opened again. I figured if the girls left me before, I probably shouldn't overstay my welcome the second time. I approached these particular sets again, because I felt like my target was semi-interested and I just felt like I got CBed b/c of bad logistics. I was probably right with at least one of them, but if I'm going to open a set again, I should make sure I don't repeat the same mistakes. In other words, I should disarm the targets and try for isolation.
I guess I'm also pissed that I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I know that the answer is that I'm slowly improving. Tonight's frustrations will help me somewhere down the line when I fclose some HB9. I just feel like I'm missing something crucial. I guess I don't know how to close party girls. I get the set to like me but when I can't find something that we're both interested in, I feel like I can't get a close. In day game, it seems that I run into more girls that I'd actually be interested in seeing again. I guess I should use the word "date" even though I wouldn't date girls AFC style. I'd fclose these hot party girls, but I sure wouldn't want to spend my free time with them if I weren't having sex with them or using them as pivots/social proof. The Italian and Arab girl set liked bowling. I actually should have #closed them. I don't know why I didn't. Maybe what I need to do next time is run attraction game and then just #close when I feel like I might stall. I think I avoid #closing in these situations where blurring or flaking is likely to occur. Still, I might as well do something. Even if I get a ton of flake numbers, at least I learn calibration. Maybe the bowling girls would have met with me again if I had approached them again and #closed them, or if I hadn't ejected. WTF!
On last thing: I just thought of this as I was about to post. I must remember how I felt with that last HB (the one where the AMOG came in). I was out of state, but I had the right "I don't give a fuck" attitude. I remember that I was leaning back. That was good, but I did make the mistake of facing her when I hadn't won her attention. Still, it felt good to not care and just try to qualify her. I think that surprised her.
Monday, May 01, 2006
So close:
Last night, I was feeling a little frustrated with the game. I couldn't help but think about what Mystery says in his DVD. Basically, it's if you can't pick up women, then you are effectively sterile. Part of me can't help but think about this frustration. I had a Day2 last week, but things aren't looking good on that front. I'll call her again tomorrow, but I'm not expecting that. I also haven't had a #close since I sarged that Day2 girl at the bookstore. Of course, I knew that wallowing in those negative thoughts just leads to me feeling sorry for myself and just makes more more likely to remain "effectively sterile." That new me is still inside, even when I'm feeling crappy. The new me had to look on the bright side. I got the Day2, which is huge. Prior to that, I've only successfully sarged a random girl once. That was at my apartment complex in '98. I #closed some girl that worked at the pool, but I had no game and messed it up. The Day2 didn't go as well as I would have hoped, but that doesn't mean that I won't see the girl again.
Today, I realized how close I am to getting some solid success in the game. I went into Starbucks and opened the two lone wolves there. One was like a 40 year old woman who was busy typing away on her computer. Previously, I would have been scared to open her, but I went up with no problem. Then, I ordered my Unsweetened Passion Iced Tea and open this mid 30-something blonde who was also typing away on her computer. The only thing I didn't do right was persist with the sarge until rejection, or as Gunwitch says, "Make the 'ho say no." I really was in a rush as I was on the way to pick up a pizza. That's legitimate. I also felt like I was bothering the 40 year old woman, plus I guess I still don't believe I can sarge an older woman. The blonde was married. The community would say that doesn't matter, but it sure does make it harder. I could have hung around and ran a boyfriend destroyer pattern on her. Basically, I could have gotten her attracted, and then I could have probed to see if she was in one of those passionless marriages. I would have talked about seeking passion in life and living in the moment. Maybe next time.
Earlier in the day, I sarged this hot hot Italian girl that works at my gym. I hadn't seen her in like a month, but I was ready to sarge. I looked like shit as I had just gotten up. My hair was a mess and I was wearing my glasses but I didn't care. I ran "My little Pony" on her, and then started talking about my travel channel tryout. We had a good conversation going, but then suddenly the power went out. Her boss came up and told her to shut off the machines so I told her I see her later. I felt relaxed talking to her when I used to get nervous in the past.
I noticed that I was a lot more relaxed during the Starbucks sarges as well. Being relaxed allows me to concentrate on other details. I found that I remembered to talk slowly. As I sarge more and more with less anxiety, I'll be able to fine tune my body language, focus on good eye contact, and read IOI's. Since I already know what to say for about 5 minutes of the conversation, I can also work on saying stuff that will create emotion on vivid imagery for whatever woman I'm talking to. I know I'm just days or weeks away from a streak of #closes or more!
Last night, I was feeling a little frustrated with the game. I couldn't help but think about what Mystery says in his DVD. Basically, it's if you can't pick up women, then you are effectively sterile. Part of me can't help but think about this frustration. I had a Day2 last week, but things aren't looking good on that front. I'll call her again tomorrow, but I'm not expecting that. I also haven't had a #close since I sarged that Day2 girl at the bookstore. Of course, I knew that wallowing in those negative thoughts just leads to me feeling sorry for myself and just makes more more likely to remain "effectively sterile." That new me is still inside, even when I'm feeling crappy. The new me had to look on the bright side. I got the Day2, which is huge. Prior to that, I've only successfully sarged a random girl once. That was at my apartment complex in '98. I #closed some girl that worked at the pool, but I had no game and messed it up. The Day2 didn't go as well as I would have hoped, but that doesn't mean that I won't see the girl again.
Today, I realized how close I am to getting some solid success in the game. I went into Starbucks and opened the two lone wolves there. One was like a 40 year old woman who was busy typing away on her computer. Previously, I would have been scared to open her, but I went up with no problem. Then, I ordered my Unsweetened Passion Iced Tea and open this mid 30-something blonde who was also typing away on her computer. The only thing I didn't do right was persist with the sarge until rejection, or as Gunwitch says, "Make the 'ho say no." I really was in a rush as I was on the way to pick up a pizza. That's legitimate. I also felt like I was bothering the 40 year old woman, plus I guess I still don't believe I can sarge an older woman. The blonde was married. The community would say that doesn't matter, but it sure does make it harder. I could have hung around and ran a boyfriend destroyer pattern on her. Basically, I could have gotten her attracted, and then I could have probed to see if she was in one of those passionless marriages. I would have talked about seeking passion in life and living in the moment. Maybe next time.
Earlier in the day, I sarged this hot hot Italian girl that works at my gym. I hadn't seen her in like a month, but I was ready to sarge. I looked like shit as I had just gotten up. My hair was a mess and I was wearing my glasses but I didn't care. I ran "My little Pony" on her, and then started talking about my travel channel tryout. We had a good conversation going, but then suddenly the power went out. Her boss came up and told her to shut off the machines so I told her I see her later. I felt relaxed talking to her when I used to get nervous in the past.
I noticed that I was a lot more relaxed during the Starbucks sarges as well. Being relaxed allows me to concentrate on other details. I found that I remembered to talk slowly. As I sarge more and more with less anxiety, I'll be able to fine tune my body language, focus on good eye contact, and read IOI's. Since I already know what to say for about 5 minutes of the conversation, I can also work on saying stuff that will create emotion on vivid imagery for whatever woman I'm talking to. I know I'm just days or weeks away from a streak of #closes or more!
