Monday, November 28, 2005
Saturday at the Hyatt in Kaanapali (sic?):
HB9.5?:
I finally saw a legitimately hot babe. I hadn't seen one in Chicago since I started the game. This girl easily could have been a model. She was a brunette who was like 6 feet tall. He was wearing pink sunglasses that might have been Cartier. Her body was thin, but toned and it looked like the body a model would have. She had probably B cup tits, but she was still hot. She was with some other tall friends that weren't as pretty. A good looking guy was also in that group. I think most guys were intimidated by her as I don't recall seeing any guys approach her.
I talked with Seamas about HB9.5. Part of me thinks I should have approached her just to be able to say that I made my first attempt to play this game at the high level. It would have been cool to see Mystery here working his game on girl. When I saw HB9.5, I already thought of two things I could have said. First, I would have said something like, "Hi. Those are cool sunglasses, but isn't it a bit dark in here?" If I got to the point of asking her what she did and she said, "I'm a model" (again this was entirely possible), I would have used the neg i read on fast seduction, "Oh really? You mean like a hand model?" Part of me believe that I could have run my game calmly. I believe I get nervous around regular girls because I think if I run my routines right, I can keep the sarge going for 10-15 minutes and can close. With the model, I knew I'd be at a huge disadvantage. After all, she'd be looking down on this guy who was like 5-6 inches shorter than here (and she was even taller since she was wearing heels). I'm like 5'7" 195-200 lbs right now. I know that she would have shit test me like crazy immediatey if I had approached. This brings me to a great point that Seamas made.
Inner game & the HB:
Seamas thinks it might have been a bad move to approach because he's afraid I might not have been able to handle getting blown out by the HB. He reminded me of that Tuesday sarge where I got shit tested like crazy and wasn't able to respond properly. He then says that he believe the failures in my next few outings were due to the damage that this sarge caused to my inner game. As I said in the report for that day, the C&B definately effected the next set. What I never believed is how much damage it did indeed do to me.
Before I went into the club, I had about a 40 minute conversation with Seamas. He has been invaluable in this quest as he has listened to my reports attentively as have given me some great points. What he did on Saturday was help repair my inner game. I told him that I was really nervous about going to this Hyatt club. I told him that I was afraid I might run a repeat of Friday. He then gave me a good kick in the ass. Let me paraphrase his monlogue in the best way that I can:
Dude, you've been letting that dental hygenist (I don't know what she did for a living, but his point is that she probably has some regular, nonglamous, nonintellectual job in the suburbs) from Schaumburg mess up your game for the last few weeks. She ran shit tests on you and you raised and then she called your bluff. Ever since then, you've let that make you feel shitty about yourself. In reality, it doesn't mean shit what she thinks about you. Do you think that if she knew you would be in Maui the next week she would have treated you like that? She probably wishes she could just go on a spur of the moment trip like you did and would probably wish that she would go with you. Stop thinking about her. You have a lot of offer her.
[He then gave me some Spanish saying that basically says that men usually are womanizers, drunkards, or a parasites. He says that I'm none of those. He pointed out that I never cheated on Beata even though I could have. He said that I don't beat women, and I don't have a substance abuse problem. He said that those qualities alone make me a good catch for women.]
He continued:
You are smart and you went to the University of Chicago, on of the top schools in the country. I read my PhD proposal to you and we were able to have an intelligent discussion about it even though you really don't have a background on the topic. Our conversation helped me think of some new points that I'm going to put into my discertation. You've traveled the world and have great experiences to share. [At this point, he got me thinking about how boring some of the girls I've met at the bar are. A lot of them haven't been anywhere but Wisconsin Dells. Some have been to Florida, but that's it. I remember that another girl told me all she does for fun is go to the club. She said, "Seriously, we come here [Alumni Club] almost every day of the week.] You're letting some boring ass girl from Schaumburg mess with you. Stop it. You've been studying this stuff and have decent game. Again, I think your failures are due to you not admitting that girl really had a profound affect on your inner game. Now go out there and think about what I just told you and go sarge!
Thank you for the good kick in the ass, Seamas!
Warming up:
I got to the club. There was a $15 cover charge and I found that my Amaretto Stone Sour was $8+tip. I decided that the high drink price was good as I would definately not drink anymore at those prices. I opened to guys just to warm up. I talked to a few Mexican guys and some build guy. The guy that stands up was this golf instructor who teaches near my hotel. Let's call him Golfpro. I chatted with him and ended up making him my wing. I found out that he had moved to Maui with his then girlfriend but had broken up with her two months ago. This was his first time at this club. He ended up being a good wingman in that he was willing to approach any sets that I waned to approach. When I wanted to take a break from leading, he was willing to go up and open. If he read fastseduction and incorporated some of the material, I think his game would improve greatly. I think his current sticking points are due to his lack of knowledge. He asks AFC type questions because he doesn't know there are better questions to ask and probably doesn't know that women really are more interested in other types of questions. To his credit, he isn't a total AFC. He didn't use the "I'll buy you a drink" opener, and we hadn't even discussed that. Manyh guys I've talked to at the bar want to use that approach.
First set, C&B:
If Seamas hadn't help me build up my inner game, this might have been devastating. I tell Golfpro that we should go approach. I walk over to this girl and try my tent opener. She says she wouldn't date a guy who lives in a tent. I say, "Isn't that kind of shallow? Why wouldn't you date him?" She says, "We were actually having a coversation here. Sorry." KABOOM! I tell Golfpro I got busted up, and he said something like, "Oh well. No problem."
Second Set: MILFS
We see two blondes standing next to the dance floor. They were at least forty. I debated whether we should approach but then I decided we should. I went up and said, "Hi." I really didn't get to run a real opener as I just somehow naturally ended up talking to the hotter woman. Golfpro instantly began to talk to the other woman. After some inital small talk, I ask HBMILF (probably 7.5, but 8 for her age) if she believe in ESP. She ponders it and says, "Yes, I think so." I then tell her to think of a number between 1 and 4. Before she answers she says, "You have a 25% chance of guessing my number." I actually like that she said that since it shows she isn't the usual dumb club girl I'm used to talking to. I guess "3" and she tells me that she was thinking of 1. I then tell her to pick a different number between 1-10 and she ends up picking 10. I then end up explaing how the number game works. I normally wouldn't do this, but it seemed right. She already had struck me as being intelligent when she already threw out the percentages when I tried the first part of the number test. It ends up she's into gambling so we go into a short disussions about poker, etc.
Golfpro was doing pretty well with HBgolfer. I had mentioned to HBMILF that Golfpro teaches gold near my hotel. (On a sidenote, I think her finding out that I'm staying at the Ritz was a good DHV b/c she was staying there at the Hyatt.) HBMILF tells me that HBgolfer loves golf. I remember mentioned Golfpro's job to HBgolfer immediately and she responded, "I know, we've been talking about that." Good job, Golfpro. That was a huge DHV for him and he got there on his own. I end up runnig "The Cube" on HBMILF. I find out she has some kids. I remember running the "Are yoiu adventurous" qualifier on her and she told me some story that I can't remember right now. She then said, "That was awhile ago, but then again, I'm only twenty, right?" Obviously, she felt a little insure about her age compared to mine. I made a little joke by saying, "I would have guessed 23 as you have to be 21 to get in here." She giggled at that comment.
Our conversations ended up stalling and I went over to talk to Golfpro. He said things were going well. The two women started talking and Golfpro and I decided to go open some other sets. We open a few more with no success. Later, we were standing in back and we spotted HBMILF & HBgolfer. They see us and we make eye contact. To my surprise, they walk over and open us. We start talking and I'm pretty sure they like us since they opened us. I told to HBMILF some more. I forgot to add that I started some kino early with HBMILF and I continued it here by putting my arm around her. She then asked me about dancing. I know I suck at dancing so I made some lame comments but she wanted to go dance. I try an isolation move to help HBgolfer. I tell HBMILF that my wing and her friend seem to be getting along so we should leave them along. HBMILF won't allow isolation so she pulls us all on the dance floor. We dance for a little bit. In retrospect, I should have tried kino while dancing, but I didn't. I stopped HBMILF looking around at the dance floor. She commented that this wasn't the crowd she had been expecting here at the Hyatt. I said that they were all here because this is supposed to be the hot spot for Saturdays. I knew what she meant, but I asked her what she had expected. She said she thought the crowd would be older. I said that the Ritz has that type of crowd and there's like no nightlife. They all are asleep. She says that they normally would be asleep too.
I try to get HBMILF to go sit with me but she won't. Later, they both go to the bathroom. When they come out, they say they are leaving. I try a last minute attempt at a venue change. I tell them we should go to the quiter area. Then I suggest we should go to a quieter bar upstairs. She says they are going to their rooms to sleep and says it was nice meeting us. Oh well, at least I tried. It would have been nice if I could have fclosed her. I really should have tried some number close, but I didn't.
HBconcierge:
We open a few more sets not worth mentioning. Well, there was one set where Golfpro seemed to being doing well, but my target ended up cockblocking it. I apologized but he said not to worry about it. My target was a warpig. I tried to talk to her and run routines but she was unresponsive. I really couldn't get her to talk and she seemed like a boring person. Still, I persisted, but eventually she pulled her friend to the dance floor. That's a good experience as it again shows that I can get rejected for reasons that don't have to do with me.
We talked to these two Asian looking girls (more accurately, Pacific Islander looking as I think the one might have been Hawaiian). One was a concierge HBconcierge7, and one had a flower in her head, HB7.5 HB7.5 got bored right away. She left and I assumed HBconcierge would leave with her but she didn't. I think the flower girl had gottne bored with Golfpro. I was half-listening to his sarge and he was asking a lot of AFC questions and he seemed like he was boring her. We both talked to HBconcierge for a few minutes and I learned she was a concierge at a hotel in Wailea. (I've decided that I'm going to grant some anonymity to people in this blog. There's no need to include too many details about other people. It's no big deal here, but it will be when I start getting fcloses). Later, she introduces us to some of her friends and she ends up leaving. We didn't talk long with them, and I should have reenaged one of the friends later. As I had chatted briefly with the group, I bet I could have isolated one of the friends and run some one-on-one games. On a sidenote, if I lived in Maui for a month, I think I could get a good social circle going the way things have gone in just two real nights out sarging.
HBtatoo:
This was the best set of the night. I know I could have number closed her and that's a huge sticking point right now. When my inner game is good, my game allows me to get to the #close stage. This was an example and so was the girl on that on Saturday at Alumni Club. I saw this blonde HB6.7 earlier with a friend. The friend was making out with some guy and I saw the HBtatoo walk away. Later, I saw her walk by while Golfpro and I were talking. I ask him if I should try my solo game, and he says I can if I wanted. He said he really didn't like girls with tatoos. I didn't really find that attractive either, but I wanted to work my game.
I opened her by saying something like, "Wow, you're already calling it quits?" She said that she was tired and was talking a break. I then asked her if she believed in ESP. I ran the 1-4 game on her and correctly guessed her number 3. Then she said that was too easy and told me to guess her number. She wanted me to guess her number which was between 1-30. I knew I'd never guess it so I said, "You're thinking about this too much. I can only guess numbers when your mind is clear." She said, "Guess my number." I interpreted it as a shit-test and I didn't want to make some guess that I knew I was going to be wrong. I persisted that she was overanalzying things and I kind of did a mini-back turn. I looked away and turned my body slightly. I think she reengaged me when I did that I was able to change the topic.
I told her that numbers wasn't my real skill. I said I was good at reading people. I told her that I could ask her a few questions and I'd be able to tell her stuff about herself. she said that was easy and that she could do it too. I said, "Oh really. Okay, go ahead. Tell me stuff about myself." She replied, "I don't know." I said, "Well, you told me this was easy so tell me things about me." I then asked if she'd ever heard of "The Cube." She said she hadn't. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this because she might learn things she didn't know about herself. I then ran the cube on her. She was pretty impressed by my reading.
After that we fluff talked. I also had my arm around her for an extended period of time. We talked about travel and she told me how she watches a 6 year old kid because her friend is a junkie. I guess this wasn't really fluff talk but was more of the rapport stage. She then asked me what I do for a living.
At this point, I had a revalation. I can see how hundreds or thousands of approaches get you good at the game. Before, I would have made cocky funny answers, but I recognized that I was already past the attraction stage. Thaks to TD for one of his articles on Bristol Lair. I recognized that we were in rapport so I gave her a legitimate answer. Now, I should have went with the "Guess" answer like TD suggests in his article, but at least I recognized this wasn't a place for cocky-funny. This was the first time that I recognized that I was actually beginning to recognize spots in the sarge where I needed to ajust my strategy. This was equivalent to me realize in poker that I was going to get check-raised, or that I could check-raise a guy on the turn. In other words, this was a huge sign.
I think I messed up this sarge because I didn't close. Near the end, I ran the trust test on her and she passed. When we was about to leave me, she even asked me for my name again and squeezed my hands several times. At one point she pulled out the phone to check the time. I realized not long after that I should done a #close. I think that I just need more experience and I'll do that more consistently. I've only gotten to a point where I could have gotten a likely nonflake number a few times so I have 0 practice actually #closing someone. When she pulled out the phone, I should have told her to give me her number. Either that, or when she was asking my name again and squeezing my hands, I should have said, "It was nice talking to you. What steps would we have to make to make sure we can talk again?" (credit fastseduction.com).
Lessons:
-Inner game: Huge of course. Fixed it and the night went better.
-I must #close!
-My skills are improving. I'm seeing places to apply strategy.
-Run routines. At least switch off b/w using and not using routines. Don't try to rely solely on not using routines like I did on friday.
=Learned the power of the backturn.
Total approaches:
It's getting hard to keep track. We'll call it 25 for the trip so far.
HB9.5?:
I finally saw a legitimately hot babe. I hadn't seen one in Chicago since I started the game. This girl easily could have been a model. She was a brunette who was like 6 feet tall. He was wearing pink sunglasses that might have been Cartier. Her body was thin, but toned and it looked like the body a model would have. She had probably B cup tits, but she was still hot. She was with some other tall friends that weren't as pretty. A good looking guy was also in that group. I think most guys were intimidated by her as I don't recall seeing any guys approach her.
I talked with Seamas about HB9.5. Part of me thinks I should have approached her just to be able to say that I made my first attempt to play this game at the high level. It would have been cool to see Mystery here working his game on girl. When I saw HB9.5, I already thought of two things I could have said. First, I would have said something like, "Hi. Those are cool sunglasses, but isn't it a bit dark in here?" If I got to the point of asking her what she did and she said, "I'm a model" (again this was entirely possible), I would have used the neg i read on fast seduction, "Oh really? You mean like a hand model?" Part of me believe that I could have run my game calmly. I believe I get nervous around regular girls because I think if I run my routines right, I can keep the sarge going for 10-15 minutes and can close. With the model, I knew I'd be at a huge disadvantage. After all, she'd be looking down on this guy who was like 5-6 inches shorter than here (and she was even taller since she was wearing heels). I'm like 5'7" 195-200 lbs right now. I know that she would have shit test me like crazy immediatey if I had approached. This brings me to a great point that Seamas made.
Inner game & the HB:
Seamas thinks it might have been a bad move to approach because he's afraid I might not have been able to handle getting blown out by the HB. He reminded me of that Tuesday sarge where I got shit tested like crazy and wasn't able to respond properly. He then says that he believe the failures in my next few outings were due to the damage that this sarge caused to my inner game. As I said in the report for that day, the C&B definately effected the next set. What I never believed is how much damage it did indeed do to me.
Before I went into the club, I had about a 40 minute conversation with Seamas. He has been invaluable in this quest as he has listened to my reports attentively as have given me some great points. What he did on Saturday was help repair my inner game. I told him that I was really nervous about going to this Hyatt club. I told him that I was afraid I might run a repeat of Friday. He then gave me a good kick in the ass. Let me paraphrase his monlogue in the best way that I can:
Dude, you've been letting that dental hygenist (I don't know what she did for a living, but his point is that she probably has some regular, nonglamous, nonintellectual job in the suburbs) from Schaumburg mess up your game for the last few weeks. She ran shit tests on you and you raised and then she called your bluff. Ever since then, you've let that make you feel shitty about yourself. In reality, it doesn't mean shit what she thinks about you. Do you think that if she knew you would be in Maui the next week she would have treated you like that? She probably wishes she could just go on a spur of the moment trip like you did and would probably wish that she would go with you. Stop thinking about her. You have a lot of offer her.
[He then gave me some Spanish saying that basically says that men usually are womanizers, drunkards, or a parasites. He says that I'm none of those. He pointed out that I never cheated on Beata even though I could have. He said that I don't beat women, and I don't have a substance abuse problem. He said that those qualities alone make me a good catch for women.]
He continued:
You are smart and you went to the University of Chicago, on of the top schools in the country. I read my PhD proposal to you and we were able to have an intelligent discussion about it even though you really don't have a background on the topic. Our conversation helped me think of some new points that I'm going to put into my discertation. You've traveled the world and have great experiences to share. [At this point, he got me thinking about how boring some of the girls I've met at the bar are. A lot of them haven't been anywhere but Wisconsin Dells. Some have been to Florida, but that's it. I remember that another girl told me all she does for fun is go to the club. She said, "Seriously, we come here [Alumni Club] almost every day of the week.] You're letting some boring ass girl from Schaumburg mess with you. Stop it. You've been studying this stuff and have decent game. Again, I think your failures are due to you not admitting that girl really had a profound affect on your inner game. Now go out there and think about what I just told you and go sarge!
Thank you for the good kick in the ass, Seamas!
Warming up:
I got to the club. There was a $15 cover charge and I found that my Amaretto Stone Sour was $8+tip. I decided that the high drink price was good as I would definately not drink anymore at those prices. I opened to guys just to warm up. I talked to a few Mexican guys and some build guy. The guy that stands up was this golf instructor who teaches near my hotel. Let's call him Golfpro. I chatted with him and ended up making him my wing. I found out that he had moved to Maui with his then girlfriend but had broken up with her two months ago. This was his first time at this club. He ended up being a good wingman in that he was willing to approach any sets that I waned to approach. When I wanted to take a break from leading, he was willing to go up and open. If he read fastseduction and incorporated some of the material, I think his game would improve greatly. I think his current sticking points are due to his lack of knowledge. He asks AFC type questions because he doesn't know there are better questions to ask and probably doesn't know that women really are more interested in other types of questions. To his credit, he isn't a total AFC. He didn't use the "I'll buy you a drink" opener, and we hadn't even discussed that. Manyh guys I've talked to at the bar want to use that approach.
First set, C&B:
If Seamas hadn't help me build up my inner game, this might have been devastating. I tell Golfpro that we should go approach. I walk over to this girl and try my tent opener. She says she wouldn't date a guy who lives in a tent. I say, "Isn't that kind of shallow? Why wouldn't you date him?" She says, "We were actually having a coversation here. Sorry." KABOOM! I tell Golfpro I got busted up, and he said something like, "Oh well. No problem."
Second Set: MILFS
We see two blondes standing next to the dance floor. They were at least forty. I debated whether we should approach but then I decided we should. I went up and said, "Hi." I really didn't get to run a real opener as I just somehow naturally ended up talking to the hotter woman. Golfpro instantly began to talk to the other woman. After some inital small talk, I ask HBMILF (probably 7.5, but 8 for her age) if she believe in ESP. She ponders it and says, "Yes, I think so." I then tell her to think of a number between 1 and 4. Before she answers she says, "You have a 25% chance of guessing my number." I actually like that she said that since it shows she isn't the usual dumb club girl I'm used to talking to. I guess "3" and she tells me that she was thinking of 1. I then tell her to pick a different number between 1-10 and she ends up picking 10. I then end up explaing how the number game works. I normally wouldn't do this, but it seemed right. She already had struck me as being intelligent when she already threw out the percentages when I tried the first part of the number test. It ends up she's into gambling so we go into a short disussions about poker, etc.
Golfpro was doing pretty well with HBgolfer. I had mentioned to HBMILF that Golfpro teaches gold near my hotel. (On a sidenote, I think her finding out that I'm staying at the Ritz was a good DHV b/c she was staying there at the Hyatt.) HBMILF tells me that HBgolfer loves golf. I remember mentioned Golfpro's job to HBgolfer immediately and she responded, "I know, we've been talking about that." Good job, Golfpro. That was a huge DHV for him and he got there on his own. I end up runnig "The Cube" on HBMILF. I find out she has some kids. I remember running the "Are yoiu adventurous" qualifier on her and she told me some story that I can't remember right now. She then said, "That was awhile ago, but then again, I'm only twenty, right?" Obviously, she felt a little insure about her age compared to mine. I made a little joke by saying, "I would have guessed 23 as you have to be 21 to get in here." She giggled at that comment.
Our conversations ended up stalling and I went over to talk to Golfpro. He said things were going well. The two women started talking and Golfpro and I decided to go open some other sets. We open a few more with no success. Later, we were standing in back and we spotted HBMILF & HBgolfer. They see us and we make eye contact. To my surprise, they walk over and open us. We start talking and I'm pretty sure they like us since they opened us. I told to HBMILF some more. I forgot to add that I started some kino early with HBMILF and I continued it here by putting my arm around her. She then asked me about dancing. I know I suck at dancing so I made some lame comments but she wanted to go dance. I try an isolation move to help HBgolfer. I tell HBMILF that my wing and her friend seem to be getting along so we should leave them along. HBMILF won't allow isolation so she pulls us all on the dance floor. We dance for a little bit. In retrospect, I should have tried kino while dancing, but I didn't. I stopped HBMILF looking around at the dance floor. She commented that this wasn't the crowd she had been expecting here at the Hyatt. I said that they were all here because this is supposed to be the hot spot for Saturdays. I knew what she meant, but I asked her what she had expected. She said she thought the crowd would be older. I said that the Ritz has that type of crowd and there's like no nightlife. They all are asleep. She says that they normally would be asleep too.
I try to get HBMILF to go sit with me but she won't. Later, they both go to the bathroom. When they come out, they say they are leaving. I try a last minute attempt at a venue change. I tell them we should go to the quiter area. Then I suggest we should go to a quieter bar upstairs. She says they are going to their rooms to sleep and says it was nice meeting us. Oh well, at least I tried. It would have been nice if I could have fclosed her. I really should have tried some number close, but I didn't.
HBconcierge:
We open a few more sets not worth mentioning. Well, there was one set where Golfpro seemed to being doing well, but my target ended up cockblocking it. I apologized but he said not to worry about it. My target was a warpig. I tried to talk to her and run routines but she was unresponsive. I really couldn't get her to talk and she seemed like a boring person. Still, I persisted, but eventually she pulled her friend to the dance floor. That's a good experience as it again shows that I can get rejected for reasons that don't have to do with me.
We talked to these two Asian looking girls (more accurately, Pacific Islander looking as I think the one might have been Hawaiian). One was a concierge HBconcierge7, and one had a flower in her head, HB7.5 HB7.5 got bored right away. She left and I assumed HBconcierge would leave with her but she didn't. I think the flower girl had gottne bored with Golfpro. I was half-listening to his sarge and he was asking a lot of AFC questions and he seemed like he was boring her. We both talked to HBconcierge for a few minutes and I learned she was a concierge at a hotel in Wailea. (I've decided that I'm going to grant some anonymity to people in this blog. There's no need to include too many details about other people. It's no big deal here, but it will be when I start getting fcloses). Later, she introduces us to some of her friends and she ends up leaving. We didn't talk long with them, and I should have reenaged one of the friends later. As I had chatted briefly with the group, I bet I could have isolated one of the friends and run some one-on-one games. On a sidenote, if I lived in Maui for a month, I think I could get a good social circle going the way things have gone in just two real nights out sarging.
HBtatoo:
This was the best set of the night. I know I could have number closed her and that's a huge sticking point right now. When my inner game is good, my game allows me to get to the #close stage. This was an example and so was the girl on that on Saturday at Alumni Club. I saw this blonde HB6.7 earlier with a friend. The friend was making out with some guy and I saw the HBtatoo walk away. Later, I saw her walk by while Golfpro and I were talking. I ask him if I should try my solo game, and he says I can if I wanted. He said he really didn't like girls with tatoos. I didn't really find that attractive either, but I wanted to work my game.
I opened her by saying something like, "Wow, you're already calling it quits?" She said that she was tired and was talking a break. I then asked her if she believed in ESP. I ran the 1-4 game on her and correctly guessed her number 3. Then she said that was too easy and told me to guess her number. She wanted me to guess her number which was between 1-30. I knew I'd never guess it so I said, "You're thinking about this too much. I can only guess numbers when your mind is clear." She said, "Guess my number." I interpreted it as a shit-test and I didn't want to make some guess that I knew I was going to be wrong. I persisted that she was overanalzying things and I kind of did a mini-back turn. I looked away and turned my body slightly. I think she reengaged me when I did that I was able to change the topic.
I told her that numbers wasn't my real skill. I said I was good at reading people. I told her that I could ask her a few questions and I'd be able to tell her stuff about herself. she said that was easy and that she could do it too. I said, "Oh really. Okay, go ahead. Tell me stuff about myself." She replied, "I don't know." I said, "Well, you told me this was easy so tell me things about me." I then asked if she'd ever heard of "The Cube." She said she hadn't. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this because she might learn things she didn't know about herself. I then ran the cube on her. She was pretty impressed by my reading.
After that we fluff talked. I also had my arm around her for an extended period of time. We talked about travel and she told me how she watches a 6 year old kid because her friend is a junkie. I guess this wasn't really fluff talk but was more of the rapport stage. She then asked me what I do for a living.
At this point, I had a revalation. I can see how hundreds or thousands of approaches get you good at the game. Before, I would have made cocky funny answers, but I recognized that I was already past the attraction stage. Thaks to TD for one of his articles on Bristol Lair. I recognized that we were in rapport so I gave her a legitimate answer. Now, I should have went with the "Guess" answer like TD suggests in his article, but at least I recognized this wasn't a place for cocky-funny. This was the first time that I recognized that I was actually beginning to recognize spots in the sarge where I needed to ajust my strategy. This was equivalent to me realize in poker that I was going to get check-raised, or that I could check-raise a guy on the turn. In other words, this was a huge sign.
I think I messed up this sarge because I didn't close. Near the end, I ran the trust test on her and she passed. When we was about to leave me, she even asked me for my name again and squeezed my hands several times. At one point she pulled out the phone to check the time. I realized not long after that I should done a #close. I think that I just need more experience and I'll do that more consistently. I've only gotten to a point where I could have gotten a likely nonflake number a few times so I have 0 practice actually #closing someone. When she pulled out the phone, I should have told her to give me her number. Either that, or when she was asking my name again and squeezing my hands, I should have said, "It was nice talking to you. What steps would we have to make to make sure we can talk again?" (credit fastseduction.com).
Lessons:
-Inner game: Huge of course. Fixed it and the night went better.
-I must #close!
-My skills are improving. I'm seeing places to apply strategy.
-Run routines. At least switch off b/w using and not using routines. Don't try to rely solely on not using routines like I did on friday.
=Learned the power of the backturn.
Total approaches:
It's getting hard to keep track. We'll call it 25 for the trip so far.
I really am and internet junkie. I don't really have anything better to do, and I'm not tired, but it still seems funny to me that I've spent the last two hours hanging out at the hotel pool writing blog entries and sufing web forums. Of course, I'm enjoying the weather so this is fun, but it seems like a lot of time to spend on internet activities.
Friday:
This was my first real chance to work my club game. I ended up having to go alone because Sidegames was tired and didn't feel likie going out to any more bars or clubs. I also think part of his reasoning is that he's never seen me in action. He still thinks, even now, that I standing around like a total AFC like I used to in the past. He can't believe that the routines I've explained to him actually work on woman. Well, I'm glad he didn't come to the club on Friday or he would have been right. To my credit, I was still recovering from my cold, and I had been out of practice for like a week so I didn't expect to be at full capacity.
I got to Paradise Bluez (spelled something like that, but not the normal "Blues" spelling) in Lahaina around 10:15. The bar wasn't that busy so I took a seat at the bar. I started chatting with a guy from Missouri (I've since forgotten his name. Let's call him "Steve".) Steve and his buddy were in town for a friend's wedding. Like me, they had been told that Paradise Bluez was the place to be on Friday. As night progressed, the bar got more and more busy, and I began to try to sarge.
I recruited Steve to be my wingman and we opened a few sets, but I really didn't have much success. I believe my inner game was messed up (more on that in the Saturday report). Also, I was out of practice and didn't feel confident using my usual routines. On top of that, people had a hard time hearing me because I was having a hard time speaking loudly. My cold had mostly disappeared by I still had a productice cough (and still do now). When I try to talk loudly, I start to feel the phelgm loosening in my lungs, and my voice quivers a little bit.
I did get to observe a guy doing a pickup. I saw a blonde who was probably an HB7.5. I thought about approaching her but I violated the 3 second rule. A guy that looks like my friend Paco went up to her as I was contemplating my arroach, and he began working his game. He definately had confidence in his approach because I had seen him approaching women several times before this. He was decent looking, thinner than me, and seemed to have some natural game. He also had some social proof as I'd seen him hugging some HB's that apparently were regulars like him. Observing his pickup was a good lesson for me. First of all, despite the fact that he undoubtedly has had some success in the past, his game isn't that strong. It's natural game as he wasn't using any ASF stuff that I could identify. He opened with the universal opener and asked some basic questions. He didn't really ask any total AFC type questions, but none of his questions were particularly intruiging. I remember him asking where she was from and I remember that he told her he was a local. I knew already that my current game was better in content than his is. Whatever he did wasn't too bad, though, because she didn't get rid of him and when her friends went to the dance floor "Paco" and her went with. Five minutes later, I saw "Paco" and the HB grinding on the dance floor. At this point, I thought "Paco" was doing well, but a few minutes later I saw that he was by himself.
I learned that my game has better content than many guys I see at the bar. Paco also helped reinforce the idea that rejection is a regular thing that you should never let hurt you inner game. I saw him get rejected a ton of times, but he still kept approaching. I need to remember that the next time I start to feel down. Despite my weak game Friday, I have to give myself props for having the guts to make a few approaches. I also have to be happy that I am being more sociable that I ever have been in my life. Before I started this sarging journey, I would never have gone to the club alone. I never would have been able to make new friends right away and recruit wingmen. Before long, I bet I'll be saying that I remember when I could close (right now) and when I couldn't get lays.
On a sidenote, Steve and his buddy got toally plastered. Steve barely knew me but he bought me several beers despite the fact that I didn't really want to drink. I remember at one point that he came with three beers. His buddy had a mixed drink so he didn't want one of the beers. I didn't really want to drink but I accepted my beer. Steve took one of the beers, and he just put the third one on the floor.
Friday:
This was my first real chance to work my club game. I ended up having to go alone because Sidegames was tired and didn't feel likie going out to any more bars or clubs. I also think part of his reasoning is that he's never seen me in action. He still thinks, even now, that I standing around like a total AFC like I used to in the past. He can't believe that the routines I've explained to him actually work on woman. Well, I'm glad he didn't come to the club on Friday or he would have been right. To my credit, I was still recovering from my cold, and I had been out of practice for like a week so I didn't expect to be at full capacity.
I got to Paradise Bluez (spelled something like that, but not the normal "Blues" spelling) in Lahaina around 10:15. The bar wasn't that busy so I took a seat at the bar. I started chatting with a guy from Missouri (I've since forgotten his name. Let's call him "Steve".) Steve and his buddy were in town for a friend's wedding. Like me, they had been told that Paradise Bluez was the place to be on Friday. As night progressed, the bar got more and more busy, and I began to try to sarge.
I recruited Steve to be my wingman and we opened a few sets, but I really didn't have much success. I believe my inner game was messed up (more on that in the Saturday report). Also, I was out of practice and didn't feel confident using my usual routines. On top of that, people had a hard time hearing me because I was having a hard time speaking loudly. My cold had mostly disappeared by I still had a productice cough (and still do now). When I try to talk loudly, I start to feel the phelgm loosening in my lungs, and my voice quivers a little bit.
I did get to observe a guy doing a pickup. I saw a blonde who was probably an HB7.5. I thought about approaching her but I violated the 3 second rule. A guy that looks like my friend Paco went up to her as I was contemplating my arroach, and he began working his game. He definately had confidence in his approach because I had seen him approaching women several times before this. He was decent looking, thinner than me, and seemed to have some natural game. He also had some social proof as I'd seen him hugging some HB's that apparently were regulars like him. Observing his pickup was a good lesson for me. First of all, despite the fact that he undoubtedly has had some success in the past, his game isn't that strong. It's natural game as he wasn't using any ASF stuff that I could identify. He opened with the universal opener and asked some basic questions. He didn't really ask any total AFC type questions, but none of his questions were particularly intruiging. I remember him asking where she was from and I remember that he told her he was a local. I knew already that my current game was better in content than his is. Whatever he did wasn't too bad, though, because she didn't get rid of him and when her friends went to the dance floor "Paco" and her went with. Five minutes later, I saw "Paco" and the HB grinding on the dance floor. At this point, I thought "Paco" was doing well, but a few minutes later I saw that he was by himself.
I learned that my game has better content than many guys I see at the bar. Paco also helped reinforce the idea that rejection is a regular thing that you should never let hurt you inner game. I saw him get rejected a ton of times, but he still kept approaching. I need to remember that the next time I start to feel down. Despite my weak game Friday, I have to give myself props for having the guts to make a few approaches. I also have to be happy that I am being more sociable that I ever have been in my life. Before I started this sarging journey, I would never have gone to the club alone. I never would have been able to make new friends right away and recruit wingmen. Before long, I bet I'll be saying that I remember when I could close (right now) and when I couldn't get lays.
On a sidenote, Steve and his buddy got toally plastered. Steve barely knew me but he bought me several beers despite the fact that I didn't really want to drink. I remember at one point that he came with three beers. His buddy had a mixed drink so he didn't want one of the beers. I didn't really want to drink but I accepted my beer. Steve took one of the beers, and he just put the third one on the floor.
Gunwitch's Sexual State & Escorts:
Most people wouldn't be comfortable discussing the following, but I've already said in the blog that I'm going to be open. I've also been saying that I've been doing my best to live my life with the "I don't give a fuck" attitude, so I might as well really use this blog to examine my thoughts. Gunwitch is a guru in the seduction community that believes that you should go out sarging in a sexual state. He says that you should refrain from masturbating so that you build this sexual states. Others disagree with this and believe that you should masturbate so that you are less nervous when talking to women.
If I hadn't gone on this trip, I would never have been able to test Gunwitch's theory. As I've said in prior blogs, I love beating off and probably do it at least 5 times a day. I beat off several times on Monday, but on Tuesday I didn't masturbate at all. After I picked up Sidegames I really had no time to pleasure myself so I ended up here in Hawaii without any strokes. By Thursday, I decided this would be a good opportunity to test this sexual state stuff since I hadn't masturbated since Monday. BTW, the longest I've ever gone was about 5 days (this is in the past 15 years or so.
Sidegames's Thanksgiving Fun:
On Thursday, Sidegames called up an escort. He met up with her in Haiku. When she dropped him off, I got to see her face. She was blonde, which I have to admit is always a plus for me, and she was pretty. I didn't get a good look at her body, but my sexual state was high so I found her attractive enough. As I hadn't relieved myself in 3 days at this point, I asked him to give me a detailed account of his encouter. The escort picked him up and drove him up some dirt roads to this tiny apartment where she does incalls. She told him to undress. Escorts are known to ask you to undress first because they believe this prevents them from getting arrested. The believe that cops won't undress first so if you undress for her, she believes that you really are a legitimate client. I guess most cities don't do what I saw on one episode of Cops. I believe it was on that show that I saw a sting operation for busting escorts. The cop would get the escort to come to the hotel room. He'd then undress completely and when she finally agreed to the deal after seeing him naked, the cops would bust in and arrest her.
Sidegames undressed and took a shower. When he came out, she was already naked. She told him to lie down on this table or bed and she began to give him a massage. Then she turned him over, and put on a condom. She then blew him briefly and then rode him. One he came, they stopped. At this point I asked if the $200 was for an hour or if it was only for one ejaculation. He says he didn't know because he didn't want to have sex any more after his orgasm. Later, they got dressed and he asked her if she could hook him up with some weed. They drove to one of her friend's houses and he bought a bag of weed.
Pondering temptation:
I have to admit that writing the above gets me excited. I don't think I've had sex since around August. That was some quick sex with my exgirlfriend and it wasn't even that good. Thursday night, though, I spent most of the night thinking about calling up the escort. I figured that since she'd already seen me, and she had partied with Sidegames and got him some weed, I'd be in a good position to negotiate with her. What I mean is that it's hard to negotiate what you want whne you're not doing it at a legal brothel. You can't be as blunt because the woman fears you're a cop. I figure that the above proves that I'm just a tourist from Chicago and not Five-o, so I should be able to get what I want.
I don't like having sex with escorts for several reasons. These aren't the traditional moral reasons that most people have for disapproving of prostitution. My first reason goes along with this new seduction thinking. I feel that giving money to escorts is a form of supplication. It's only slightly better then spending money on expensive dinners and gifts for a woman with whom you haven't had sex with, but are hoping to get sex from by your spending. I know that if I improve my game to a high level, I'll be able to get as much sex as I want without spending much money. Another reason that I don't like prostitutes is that you have to use condoms. I'd have to say that unprotected sex feels tons better than safe sex. When I use a condom, I can last a very long time. As I'd use condoms with girls from clubs, this really isn't a strong reason for me right now to avoid escorts. This brings me to another point: I don't like paying for one orgasm. I get my buffet mentality and feel like I should hold off as long as possible so I can get my money's worth. In Nevada, I even beat off in the shower in the brothel so I wouldn't cum as quickly. I think this ruins the experience.
I figure that since I have an "in" with Sidegames's escort, I can tell her that I want to pay for a full hour. Even better, I could pay for 1.5 or 2 hours of fun. I'd want to be able to ejaculate as many times as I was able to in that time period. I think that would be a great experience and worth my money. Honestly, I have yet to experience this in my life. My exgirlfriend would always complain that it hurt after awhile, so I'd have to stop. I've always wanted to be able to have sex several times in succession but my ex never allowed that.
My sexual state experiment ended on Sunday. No, I didn't get the escort, but I keep thinking about doing it. I may yet do that. After Saturday, I figured I deserved a reward (I'll detail the Friday and Saturday night sarges in my next entry). Sidegames went out for a swim and I whipped out my laptop and my "1 Lucky Fuck" porno and stroked it. Later, I beat off two more times when he went out for another swim. Those three times still haven't relieved me of my sexual desire. I still think about the fun I can have with the escort and maybe that'll help me in my game.
Most people wouldn't be comfortable discussing the following, but I've already said in the blog that I'm going to be open. I've also been saying that I've been doing my best to live my life with the "I don't give a fuck" attitude, so I might as well really use this blog to examine my thoughts. Gunwitch is a guru in the seduction community that believes that you should go out sarging in a sexual state. He says that you should refrain from masturbating so that you build this sexual states. Others disagree with this and believe that you should masturbate so that you are less nervous when talking to women.
If I hadn't gone on this trip, I would never have been able to test Gunwitch's theory. As I've said in prior blogs, I love beating off and probably do it at least 5 times a day. I beat off several times on Monday, but on Tuesday I didn't masturbate at all. After I picked up Sidegames I really had no time to pleasure myself so I ended up here in Hawaii without any strokes. By Thursday, I decided this would be a good opportunity to test this sexual state stuff since I hadn't masturbated since Monday. BTW, the longest I've ever gone was about 5 days (this is in the past 15 years or so.
Sidegames's Thanksgiving Fun:
On Thursday, Sidegames called up an escort. He met up with her in Haiku. When she dropped him off, I got to see her face. She was blonde, which I have to admit is always a plus for me, and she was pretty. I didn't get a good look at her body, but my sexual state was high so I found her attractive enough. As I hadn't relieved myself in 3 days at this point, I asked him to give me a detailed account of his encouter. The escort picked him up and drove him up some dirt roads to this tiny apartment where she does incalls. She told him to undress. Escorts are known to ask you to undress first because they believe this prevents them from getting arrested. The believe that cops won't undress first so if you undress for her, she believes that you really are a legitimate client. I guess most cities don't do what I saw on one episode of Cops. I believe it was on that show that I saw a sting operation for busting escorts. The cop would get the escort to come to the hotel room. He'd then undress completely and when she finally agreed to the deal after seeing him naked, the cops would bust in and arrest her.
Sidegames undressed and took a shower. When he came out, she was already naked. She told him to lie down on this table or bed and she began to give him a massage. Then she turned him over, and put on a condom. She then blew him briefly and then rode him. One he came, they stopped. At this point I asked if the $200 was for an hour or if it was only for one ejaculation. He says he didn't know because he didn't want to have sex any more after his orgasm. Later, they got dressed and he asked her if she could hook him up with some weed. They drove to one of her friend's houses and he bought a bag of weed.
Pondering temptation:
I have to admit that writing the above gets me excited. I don't think I've had sex since around August. That was some quick sex with my exgirlfriend and it wasn't even that good. Thursday night, though, I spent most of the night thinking about calling up the escort. I figured that since she'd already seen me, and she had partied with Sidegames and got him some weed, I'd be in a good position to negotiate with her. What I mean is that it's hard to negotiate what you want whne you're not doing it at a legal brothel. You can't be as blunt because the woman fears you're a cop. I figure that the above proves that I'm just a tourist from Chicago and not Five-o, so I should be able to get what I want.
I don't like having sex with escorts for several reasons. These aren't the traditional moral reasons that most people have for disapproving of prostitution. My first reason goes along with this new seduction thinking. I feel that giving money to escorts is a form of supplication. It's only slightly better then spending money on expensive dinners and gifts for a woman with whom you haven't had sex with, but are hoping to get sex from by your spending. I know that if I improve my game to a high level, I'll be able to get as much sex as I want without spending much money. Another reason that I don't like prostitutes is that you have to use condoms. I'd have to say that unprotected sex feels tons better than safe sex. When I use a condom, I can last a very long time. As I'd use condoms with girls from clubs, this really isn't a strong reason for me right now to avoid escorts. This brings me to another point: I don't like paying for one orgasm. I get my buffet mentality and feel like I should hold off as long as possible so I can get my money's worth. In Nevada, I even beat off in the shower in the brothel so I wouldn't cum as quickly. I think this ruins the experience.
I figure that since I have an "in" with Sidegames's escort, I can tell her that I want to pay for a full hour. Even better, I could pay for 1.5 or 2 hours of fun. I'd want to be able to ejaculate as many times as I was able to in that time period. I think that would be a great experience and worth my money. Honestly, I have yet to experience this in my life. My exgirlfriend would always complain that it hurt after awhile, so I'd have to stop. I've always wanted to be able to have sex several times in succession but my ex never allowed that.
My sexual state experiment ended on Sunday. No, I didn't get the escort, but I keep thinking about doing it. I may yet do that. After Saturday, I figured I deserved a reward (I'll detail the Friday and Saturday night sarges in my next entry). Sidegames went out for a swim and I whipped out my laptop and my "1 Lucky Fuck" porno and stroked it. Later, I beat off two more times when he went out for another swim. Those three times still haven't relieved me of my sexual desire. I still think about the fun I can have with the escort and maybe that'll help me in my game.
Maui report:
I'm relaxing tonight at the hotel. I'm still recovering from my cold from last week. I can breathe well even without anti-histamines, but I've my cough doesn't seem to be improving. I believe second hand smoke from Sidegames is slowing my healing.
We arrived in Maui on Wednesday and were completely exhausted by the time we got to the Wailea Marriott. We went to the mall across the street and only found one bar that was open. The place was dead, so we left after one drink and went to sleep. The next night was Thanksgiving. We went to some local bars down the street in Kihue (sic?). One bar had a bunch of people in it, but the other two bars were dead. The busy bar had a ton of guys and couples so there was no one really to sarge. We left there disappointed.
On Friday, we came to the Ritz-Carlton in Kapalua. I had only booked the Mariott on Priceline for two days so I had to scramble to find a place to stay for the rest of the trip. I saw the Ritz available for $260 a night for Friday only so I decided to snatch it. The Marriott was a decent deal for $140/night on priceline. Expedia and other booking engines wanted $269 for the Marriott (which is a total ripoff). When I saw the Ritz offered for the same price, I figured it would be a good deal. I had planned to try to get a resort Kaanapali hotel for $180-200/night on Priceline but Sidegames liked the Ritz so much that he basically decided that we stay here for the rest of the trip. Well, as he put it, I could stay wherever I wanted, but he was staying here. Of course, that basically means that I was staying here too because I woudln't be able to find a good place for less than half of this place. I don't mind it that much as this hotel is great, but I can't help but wonder if the Hyatt of Sheraton would be good enough for like $40 less a night.
I'm relaxing tonight at the hotel. I'm still recovering from my cold from last week. I can breathe well even without anti-histamines, but I've my cough doesn't seem to be improving. I believe second hand smoke from Sidegames is slowing my healing.
We arrived in Maui on Wednesday and were completely exhausted by the time we got to the Wailea Marriott. We went to the mall across the street and only found one bar that was open. The place was dead, so we left after one drink and went to sleep. The next night was Thanksgiving. We went to some local bars down the street in Kihue (sic?). One bar had a bunch of people in it, but the other two bars were dead. The busy bar had a ton of guys and couples so there was no one really to sarge. We left there disappointed.
On Friday, we came to the Ritz-Carlton in Kapalua. I had only booked the Mariott on Priceline for two days so I had to scramble to find a place to stay for the rest of the trip. I saw the Ritz available for $260 a night for Friday only so I decided to snatch it. The Marriott was a decent deal for $140/night on priceline. Expedia and other booking engines wanted $269 for the Marriott (which is a total ripoff). When I saw the Ritz offered for the same price, I figured it would be a good deal. I had planned to try to get a resort Kaanapali hotel for $180-200/night on Priceline but Sidegames liked the Ritz so much that he basically decided that we stay here for the rest of the trip. Well, as he put it, I could stay wherever I wanted, but he was staying here. Of course, that basically means that I was staying here too because I woudln't be able to find a good place for less than half of this place. I don't mind it that much as this hotel is great, but I can't help but wonder if the Hyatt of Sheraton would be good enough for like $40 less a night.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Impulse trip to Maui:
I'm taking my sarging on the road to Maui, Hawaii. I called up Sidegames today and apparently he got kicked out of his parent's house because they found a bag of weed in his room. He wanted to get his mind off of things so he had already priced a trip leaving Wednesday for Amsterdam when we spoke. The ORD-AMS trip was like $660 on UA. He asked me if I wanted to go. I wasn't too excited about Amsterdam because I had been there when I was young. Also, I knew there were cheaper flights to some place tropical so I tried to convince him to go somewhere else. I told him if he went to Hawaii, I'd be interested in joining him. We found an ORD->OGG flight for like $530 leaving the next day. For some reason, when Sidegames saw how cheap the Maui flight was, he was all hyped up about going. I didn't think he'd agree to change his plans. When he first told me to book the Maui trip, I wasn't totally comitted to going, but I decided I might as well enjoy myself. I figure spending the money for this trip will also motivate me work more. We ended up booking a Nov 23 noon flight at like 11pm on Nov 22. How's that for impulsive?
I spent like two hours researching our hotel options. Luckily, I got priceline to work. We got the Wailea Marriott for $140 a night on Priceline. Since we needed a hotel for when we arrived today, I booked Nov 23-25. I figure if the place ends up being good, I can use my laptop to book the rest of the days. I figure the $140 has to be good since the reviews on TripAdvisor are pretty good, and the Orbitz wants $269 for the same property.
Now, I just have to make sure I can sarge like crazy when we're in Maui. When I picked up Sidegames today at some bar in the North Suburbs, I was angry for myself for being too weak to approach. There were two sets of girls but I didn't feel like opening. Previously, I was unstopable, so I hope be like that in Maui.
I'm taking my sarging on the road to Maui, Hawaii. I called up Sidegames today and apparently he got kicked out of his parent's house because they found a bag of weed in his room. He wanted to get his mind off of things so he had already priced a trip leaving Wednesday for Amsterdam when we spoke. The ORD-AMS trip was like $660 on UA. He asked me if I wanted to go. I wasn't too excited about Amsterdam because I had been there when I was young. Also, I knew there were cheaper flights to some place tropical so I tried to convince him to go somewhere else. I told him if he went to Hawaii, I'd be interested in joining him. We found an ORD->OGG flight for like $530 leaving the next day. For some reason, when Sidegames saw how cheap the Maui flight was, he was all hyped up about going. I didn't think he'd agree to change his plans. When he first told me to book the Maui trip, I wasn't totally comitted to going, but I decided I might as well enjoy myself. I figure spending the money for this trip will also motivate me work more. We ended up booking a Nov 23 noon flight at like 11pm on Nov 22. How's that for impulsive?
I spent like two hours researching our hotel options. Luckily, I got priceline to work. We got the Wailea Marriott for $140 a night on Priceline. Since we needed a hotel for when we arrived today, I booked Nov 23-25. I figure if the place ends up being good, I can use my laptop to book the rest of the days. I figure the $140 has to be good since the reviews on TripAdvisor are pretty good, and the Orbitz wants $269 for the same property.
Now, I just have to make sure I can sarge like crazy when we're in Maui. When I picked up Sidegames today at some bar in the North Suburbs, I was angry for myself for being too weak to approach. There were two sets of girls but I didn't feel like opening. Previously, I was unstopable, so I hope be like that in Maui.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Body gives up:
I've been sidelined by an unexpected obstacle: my body. I'm not too surprised as I knew I was working out too hard, but it sucks. I woke up with a sore throat Friday and Saturday I woke up feeling worse. I've taken some medication but I feel like I have no energy. I went to sleep at like 7:30pm and woke up at midnight. Now I'm awake, but I'll bet that I'll go to sleep with in a few hours. Sunday will be cool as I always just chill and watch the football games. The morale of the story of course is that body and mind are one. I drove my body like a slave driver and now I'm sick. I just have to recover and go back to working out. I hope I'm better by Tuesday and Wednesday so I can go out sarging.
MLRT:
This is what many aim for in the seduction community. MLRT stands for multi long term relationships. The idea is that rather than having a traditional dating relationship with one person you end up dating several woman at the same time. You don't handle the situation like AFC's would, which is telling a woman that you're committed to her and then going out and cheating on her. In this community, they tell you that there is no "cheating" because you are open about your desire at the beginning. Here is a link to a page that explains managing multiple relationships.
In the near future, I see myself sarging a ton. I'll get more #closes as my game improves and I'll eventually get some lays. At some point, women that I have sex with are going to want to discuss our relationship. When I get a lay, I figure I'll start researching this part of the game more extensively, but I already do have some idea of how I'll respond. I'll say that I'm not ready for a traditional relationship. I'll say that I enjoy spending time with her and want to continue doing so but at the same time I'll still going to be seeing other people. I'll try to make clear what is explained in that link above: that when I'm out sarging, I'm not looking to replace her. If I see other women, I'll still give her the attention she needs, and she won't have to worry about me replacing her. I imagine there will be a ton of women who will be resistant to what I want, but I believe I'll be able to "next" them when the time comes. The whole idea of this lifestyle is that I'll be constantly out sarging so I'll have many possibilities lined up. If a woman doesn't treat me that way that I want, then I can get rid of her and I won't feel desperate or needy because I'll have other options ready. AFC's (like me two years ago) end up falling into a relationship because they don't have any other options going. AFC's just keep seeing a woman that they happened to attract and by repetition, they become boyfriend and girlfriend.
Seamas and I were discussing what we want out of relationships in the long term. We didn't come to any concrete conclusions, but I felt good having the discussion. Again, in the near future, I see myself sarging and improving my game. Number closes, kiss closes, and fcloses will come as my game improves. Eventually, I'll be able to get laid anytime I want. When I started this journey, I felt that I wanted what many AFC's desire: I wanted to have a bunch of one night stands and just have a ton of sex. After reading a ton of stuff from the community, I do believe what the experienced PUA's say: when you get to the level where you can get laid every week with new women, you start to get sick of it. They say that they don't find fulfillment in having week after week of ONS's like they thought they would. This is when they start to shift to having MLRT's. Even beyond that, one might find himself in Style's situation. After getting great at the game, he ended up settling and marrying one woman: Lisa.
This is why I said I'm not sure what the far future holds. I could see myself eventually finding some woman out of the thousands of women I'll approach that just clicks with me in a way that all the other women won't. If that happens, then I could see myself going to the next level and getting married. I do know that I'm going to have a hard time feeling that I'm ready for that. I almost rushed things with Beata. When my game is good, and I know that I have a ton of women to choose from ,I can imagine myself being really picky. The other scenario I can see is that I might be a perpetual bachelor. I think of my friend Jake, though, and I'm not sure if he's doing what I would want. He's dated the same woman for like 20 years but he made it clear that he never wanted to get married. He always says that he knows things would change if he got married and he'd lose the freedoms that he enjoys now. Furthermore, he says he sees how his friends that got married have changed and he doesn't want to be like that.
I also see what Jake's talking about in my friends that have gotten married or settled down. I thought before that I wanted that, but I think Sidegames is right that being single is a great thing. Now that I discovered this new community, I really see the benefits that being single offers. I see that my friends have lost many freedoms they had when they were single and I see them controlled on some level by their wives. Maybe it's all worth it. For some it is, but the divorce statistics show that it often doesn't work for people. I guess I'll figure it out eventually. All that is a long way away and right now, I'll just work on improving my game. I want to experience the emptiness of the world of ONS's for myself :)
I've been sidelined by an unexpected obstacle: my body. I'm not too surprised as I knew I was working out too hard, but it sucks. I woke up with a sore throat Friday and Saturday I woke up feeling worse. I've taken some medication but I feel like I have no energy. I went to sleep at like 7:30pm and woke up at midnight. Now I'm awake, but I'll bet that I'll go to sleep with in a few hours. Sunday will be cool as I always just chill and watch the football games. The morale of the story of course is that body and mind are one. I drove my body like a slave driver and now I'm sick. I just have to recover and go back to working out. I hope I'm better by Tuesday and Wednesday so I can go out sarging.
MLRT:
This is what many aim for in the seduction community. MLRT stands for multi long term relationships. The idea is that rather than having a traditional dating relationship with one person you end up dating several woman at the same time. You don't handle the situation like AFC's would, which is telling a woman that you're committed to her and then going out and cheating on her. In this community, they tell you that there is no "cheating" because you are open about your desire at the beginning. Here is a link to a page that explains managing multiple relationships.
In the near future, I see myself sarging a ton. I'll get more #closes as my game improves and I'll eventually get some lays. At some point, women that I have sex with are going to want to discuss our relationship. When I get a lay, I figure I'll start researching this part of the game more extensively, but I already do have some idea of how I'll respond. I'll say that I'm not ready for a traditional relationship. I'll say that I enjoy spending time with her and want to continue doing so but at the same time I'll still going to be seeing other people. I'll try to make clear what is explained in that link above: that when I'm out sarging, I'm not looking to replace her. If I see other women, I'll still give her the attention she needs, and she won't have to worry about me replacing her. I imagine there will be a ton of women who will be resistant to what I want, but I believe I'll be able to "next" them when the time comes. The whole idea of this lifestyle is that I'll be constantly out sarging so I'll have many possibilities lined up. If a woman doesn't treat me that way that I want, then I can get rid of her and I won't feel desperate or needy because I'll have other options ready. AFC's (like me two years ago) end up falling into a relationship because they don't have any other options going. AFC's just keep seeing a woman that they happened to attract and by repetition, they become boyfriend and girlfriend.
Seamas and I were discussing what we want out of relationships in the long term. We didn't come to any concrete conclusions, but I felt good having the discussion. Again, in the near future, I see myself sarging and improving my game. Number closes, kiss closes, and fcloses will come as my game improves. Eventually, I'll be able to get laid anytime I want. When I started this journey, I felt that I wanted what many AFC's desire: I wanted to have a bunch of one night stands and just have a ton of sex. After reading a ton of stuff from the community, I do believe what the experienced PUA's say: when you get to the level where you can get laid every week with new women, you start to get sick of it. They say that they don't find fulfillment in having week after week of ONS's like they thought they would. This is when they start to shift to having MLRT's. Even beyond that, one might find himself in Style's situation. After getting great at the game, he ended up settling and marrying one woman: Lisa.
This is why I said I'm not sure what the far future holds. I could see myself eventually finding some woman out of the thousands of women I'll approach that just clicks with me in a way that all the other women won't. If that happens, then I could see myself going to the next level and getting married. I do know that I'm going to have a hard time feeling that I'm ready for that. I almost rushed things with Beata. When my game is good, and I know that I have a ton of women to choose from ,I can imagine myself being really picky. The other scenario I can see is that I might be a perpetual bachelor. I think of my friend Jake, though, and I'm not sure if he's doing what I would want. He's dated the same woman for like 20 years but he made it clear that he never wanted to get married. He always says that he knows things would change if he got married and he'd lose the freedoms that he enjoys now. Furthermore, he says he sees how his friends that got married have changed and he doesn't want to be like that.
I also see what Jake's talking about in my friends that have gotten married or settled down. I thought before that I wanted that, but I think Sidegames is right that being single is a great thing. Now that I discovered this new community, I really see the benefits that being single offers. I see that my friends have lost many freedoms they had when they were single and I see them controlled on some level by their wives. Maybe it's all worth it. For some it is, but the divorce statistics show that it often doesn't work for people. I guess I'll figure it out eventually. All that is a long way away and right now, I'll just work on improving my game. I want to experience the emptiness of the world of ONS's for myself :)
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Fight Club:
I think the following quote sums up what attitude I need to have for my game to really advance:
The Ed Norton Tylder Durden character:
No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that, which does not matter, truely slide.
I think the following quote sums up what attitude I need to have for my game to really advance:
The Ed Norton Tylder Durden character:
No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that, which does not matter, truely slide.
Weak Day Game:
I didn't really feel like going out tonight, but after talking to Seamas, I decided to try my day game at Border's. I figured it wouldn't be too hard as I made my 4th approach ever at a Border's a few weeks ago. Since then, I've had over 40 approaches in the bar/club scene so I figured I'd be fearless here as well. I talked into the bookstore and didn't see any good targets. I came upon two girls that were on the phone so I knew I couldn't open them. I went and looked at some cat calenders. Some older woman was looking at calenders so I said, "Hi." I'm still working on greeting everyone that I can so it becomes a natural part of my life.
I don't see any women worth approaching so I look for this book about "The Cube" game. I find it and look through it. Later, I walk to the Dating book section to find that book that is recommended for the "Dating for Dummies" opener. Some ugly girl walks by and I think about opening but don't even say, "Hi." Just as I'm about to leave, I go to the magazine section. I read the "Road & Track" and "Car and Driver" articles that put the new Corvette Z06 against the Viper. I can't believe how fast that Z06 is for it's $70K sticker price. It smokes the more expensive Viper in basically every category. As I'm dreaming about this car I'll probably never get, I see a HB7.5 sitting in the cafe area. I think about opening with the "Crappy Sketch Artist" routine but I get scared. I start wondering what people might think and I wonder if she's even available.
I think it shouldn't be too difficult for me to get rid of my approach anxiety in day game considering I almost completely eliminated it in my club game. Here's what I need to do:
1) I need to work out before I go sarging. I felt shitty like I did last Friday when I tried to sarge without working out that day. On top of that, I've had a sore throat all day which isn't helping things.
2) I know that I have to not care what anyone thinks. It's a lot easier at the bar because no one can really hear what you are saying to the girls. I guess my fear at the cafe was that the people around would hear my whole sarge and I got self conscious about that. I watched Fight Club last night as the people on ASF recommend. I need to get the "I don't give a fuck" attitude goinging for day game. In reality, it really doesn't matter what the girl thinks or what the spectators think. I need to practice my lines and routines so I can improve my game. Besides, while some people might laugh about my approach if it goes badly, I know that there will be some guys watching who will be wishing that they had the courage to go up and make the approach.
3) My problem isn't that uncommon. I've read posts from people who have an easier time making daytime approaches as opposed to club/bar approaches. On the other hand, there are people like me that find the clubs easier. Another factor that favors the clubs for me is that girls are expecting guys to come up to them. At the bookstore, they probably aren't so I don't feel as comfortable doing it.
4) I need to practice day game because it will help my overall game. It is also common knowledge that day game is supposed to be way easier than the club game. As they aren't expecting to be approached like at the bar, women I approach during the day time will be easier to pick up. They won't have their shields up (well, the hots ones still will, but not in the same way as they do at the clubs). In day game, the lone wolves are everywhere. In the club, I have to approach groups, and I already know the inherent problem with approaching 2-sets solo. Day game also will help me increase my total number of approaches, which again improves my game. I've only been getting 4-7 approaching in per bar night. I could easily make 2-3 approaching in the bookstore and polish of a few more at the mall.
I have to remember that I feel bad now because I didn't make any approaches. This is a worse feeling than the feeling I get when I get shot down. If I had made an approach, I would be feeling good about myself.
I didn't really feel like going out tonight, but after talking to Seamas, I decided to try my day game at Border's. I figured it wouldn't be too hard as I made my 4th approach ever at a Border's a few weeks ago. Since then, I've had over 40 approaches in the bar/club scene so I figured I'd be fearless here as well. I talked into the bookstore and didn't see any good targets. I came upon two girls that were on the phone so I knew I couldn't open them. I went and looked at some cat calenders. Some older woman was looking at calenders so I said, "Hi." I'm still working on greeting everyone that I can so it becomes a natural part of my life.
I don't see any women worth approaching so I look for this book about "The Cube" game. I find it and look through it. Later, I walk to the Dating book section to find that book that is recommended for the "Dating for Dummies" opener. Some ugly girl walks by and I think about opening but don't even say, "Hi." Just as I'm about to leave, I go to the magazine section. I read the "Road & Track" and "Car and Driver" articles that put the new Corvette Z06 against the Viper. I can't believe how fast that Z06 is for it's $70K sticker price. It smokes the more expensive Viper in basically every category. As I'm dreaming about this car I'll probably never get, I see a HB7.5 sitting in the cafe area. I think about opening with the "Crappy Sketch Artist" routine but I get scared. I start wondering what people might think and I wonder if she's even available.
I think it shouldn't be too difficult for me to get rid of my approach anxiety in day game considering I almost completely eliminated it in my club game. Here's what I need to do:
1) I need to work out before I go sarging. I felt shitty like I did last Friday when I tried to sarge without working out that day. On top of that, I've had a sore throat all day which isn't helping things.
2) I know that I have to not care what anyone thinks. It's a lot easier at the bar because no one can really hear what you are saying to the girls. I guess my fear at the cafe was that the people around would hear my whole sarge and I got self conscious about that. I watched Fight Club last night as the people on ASF recommend. I need to get the "I don't give a fuck" attitude goinging for day game. In reality, it really doesn't matter what the girl thinks or what the spectators think. I need to practice my lines and routines so I can improve my game. Besides, while some people might laugh about my approach if it goes badly, I know that there will be some guys watching who will be wishing that they had the courage to go up and make the approach.
3) My problem isn't that uncommon. I've read posts from people who have an easier time making daytime approaches as opposed to club/bar approaches. On the other hand, there are people like me that find the clubs easier. Another factor that favors the clubs for me is that girls are expecting guys to come up to them. At the bookstore, they probably aren't so I don't feel as comfortable doing it.
4) I need to practice day game because it will help my overall game. It is also common knowledge that day game is supposed to be way easier than the club game. As they aren't expecting to be approached like at the bar, women I approach during the day time will be easier to pick up. They won't have their shields up (well, the hots ones still will, but not in the same way as they do at the clubs). In day game, the lone wolves are everywhere. In the club, I have to approach groups, and I already know the inherent problem with approaching 2-sets solo. Day game also will help me increase my total number of approaches, which again improves my game. I've only been getting 4-7 approaching in per bar night. I could easily make 2-3 approaching in the bookstore and polish of a few more at the mall.
I have to remember that I feel bad now because I didn't make any approaches. This is a worse feeling than the feeling I get when I get shot down. If I had made an approach, I would be feeling good about myself.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Thursday Bust:
There isn't much to report today. I went to Alumni Club and it was totally dead for some reason. I kept asking people if some other bar had something going on. The more I think about it, I think it's probably because people know they have a short week next week. They figure they can go out this weekend and then Wednesday next week so they decided to take it easy tonight. For whatever reason, Alumni Club was dead. I have never seen that few people there. There were more people when I got there at 9pm on Tuesday.
I made 5 approaches, but I'm going to call it only 4 approaches for my running total. One approach was to this 45 year old woman who I was totally not interested in. We talked for a bit but I found her boring to talk to. As I wasn't really trying to pick her up and I didn't learn anything, I don't think that counts as a real approach. I'll go briefly through the other approaches I made. I saw a decent set with a skinny brunette HB7 (possibly 7.5, didn't get a good look) and a fat girl HB6.5. I opened them as my first set. Well, to be exact, I started talking to the HB6.5 and before I could really open the set, the HB7 got her drink from the bartender and walked away. The HB6.5 had no choice but to follow. I suppose I could have reopened the set but I didn't see them again. Next, I saw two fatties near the dance floor (the completely empty dance floor). I tried talking to one but she could barely hear me. I didn't want to peck, so I just gave up. I saw a cute HB8 playing with some video machine a the bar. I started talking to her and found out she was a bartender there but had gotten off early. I tried to game her a bit, but we were just talking. She was busy playing the game so I couldn't really run good game.
While I was talking to the off-duty bartender, Mars opened me. He was the guy from last week. I talk stuff over with him and I'm convinced he didn't try to screw me over last week. I do think the married chicks weren't into me as I really didn't get good signs from them last week. Anyway, he said he hung out with them at Dakota's for like 30 minutes and then they basically got rid of him. I talked to Mars and then saw a two set at a table. One was a HB6.5, and the other was a cute blonde 7.5. Before I had opened the set, I told Mars to come in as a wingman if he saw me standing there for 5 minutes or more.
I opened the 6.5, but then the 7.5 handed the phone over to the 6.5 I talked to her for a bit, while the other one was on the phone, and she told me they were actually ready to leave. I don't blame them as again, Alumni Club was shitty tonight. Mars rolled in and talked for a bit and then the girls got of the phone and said they had to go. Mars asked where they were going and the HB7.5 said they were going to her boyfriend who lives down the street.
I didn't learn too much tonight. I suppose I could have opened these sets sooner, but I don't really care that I didn't. When I opened the first set, I again was shown how you really have to open both girls in a two set. I knew that, but didn't have any time to engage the other one as her drink came within 15 seconds after I opened. I suppose I could have stood in between them like I usually do when opening two sets. I learned that Mars is cool and that he goes Tuesdays and Thursdays. At least I know I'm not completely solo on those days as I have some people I can talk to when I'm not sarging.
Other lessons:
-I opened a set of guys at one point because I was bored. I talked to this good looking guy. This was right before my first set. I tried to get him to wing with me and he said I should bring the girls over and he'd buy them drinks. LOL. Total AFC behavior. It just goes to show that looks really don't matter.
-I opened pretty much every set in the bar so I should be happy with that. Again, just a few weeks ago, I would have sat there and never opened a set and been made at myself afterwards. Now, I'm beginning to do what I always wanted.
-I talked to Seamas after I went to the bar and we reminisced about old times. I thought about my old AFC self. Well, actually, I was at a level below AFC before. If I even had the game I had now in college, I would have scored. I used to sit in class and I'd always see some girl I thought was cute. I'd dream about how cool she could be and every day I tell myself that I should work up the courage to talk to her, but I never would. It's funny that if I were in that class now, I would have talked to these girls on the first day, and I might have known then that I wouldn't have liked them. What's even worse is that there were a few times that girls opened me and I still managed to screw things up. Seamas and I had a class together with this one girl. That same quarter, I only had a class with her. One day, while waiting for the other class, she started a conversation with me. I answered her question and then I ended the conversation and turned away. I had such low self esteem that I was afraid I'd bore her so I prempted by ending the conversation. She probably thought I had no interest in talking to her when I would have loved to talk to her and take her out on a date. Another time, I was about 10 minutes early for a class and this really cute girl (I remember that she was at least an 8) opened me and we talked briefly. Again, I didn't keep the conversation going long and I never talked to her again even though she had opened me.
More AFC stuff:
-I went on a date with a girl in my running class. The date went really well and at the end, I grabbed her backpack from the trunk of my car. She took it and just stood there stalling. Even my AFC self knew that she was looking for a kiss, but my dumb ass couldn't get the courage to kiss her. Later, I sent her a dozen roses, which of course, was totally dumb.
-Other times, I had taken women out to expensive dinner hoping that I'd be able to convince them to give me sex. Wow, I was really clueless now.
Conclusion:
Not much happened tonight, but I guess I got to reflect on some things. No matter how badly I do and no matter how long it takes to get my first number close, my first kiss close, and my first fuck close, I should always remember what progress I've made. I remember the one time my friend Russell took me out and told me to "point and shoot." He was on a confidence high and he told me that night to point out any groups of girls, and we'd go talk to them. He actually followed through that night but we had no clue what to say so we bombed every set. After like the fourth one, I didn't want to go talk to girls anymore. Afterwards, I always remember how great that evening was. I always wished I could become bulletproof when it came to making approachs. Again, I'm now almost at that level. I still haven't been tested by a HB10 set. I imagine I'll have some approach anxiety with that type of set and I'll probably crash & burn since I have no experience with a set like that, but I'm now bulletproof with regular sets.
Total sets approached tonight: 4
Total approaches: 53
There isn't much to report today. I went to Alumni Club and it was totally dead for some reason. I kept asking people if some other bar had something going on. The more I think about it, I think it's probably because people know they have a short week next week. They figure they can go out this weekend and then Wednesday next week so they decided to take it easy tonight. For whatever reason, Alumni Club was dead. I have never seen that few people there. There were more people when I got there at 9pm on Tuesday.
I made 5 approaches, but I'm going to call it only 4 approaches for my running total. One approach was to this 45 year old woman who I was totally not interested in. We talked for a bit but I found her boring to talk to. As I wasn't really trying to pick her up and I didn't learn anything, I don't think that counts as a real approach. I'll go briefly through the other approaches I made. I saw a decent set with a skinny brunette HB7 (possibly 7.5, didn't get a good look) and a fat girl HB6.5. I opened them as my first set. Well, to be exact, I started talking to the HB6.5 and before I could really open the set, the HB7 got her drink from the bartender and walked away. The HB6.5 had no choice but to follow. I suppose I could have reopened the set but I didn't see them again. Next, I saw two fatties near the dance floor (the completely empty dance floor). I tried talking to one but she could barely hear me. I didn't want to peck, so I just gave up. I saw a cute HB8 playing with some video machine a the bar. I started talking to her and found out she was a bartender there but had gotten off early. I tried to game her a bit, but we were just talking. She was busy playing the game so I couldn't really run good game.
While I was talking to the off-duty bartender, Mars opened me. He was the guy from last week. I talk stuff over with him and I'm convinced he didn't try to screw me over last week. I do think the married chicks weren't into me as I really didn't get good signs from them last week. Anyway, he said he hung out with them at Dakota's for like 30 minutes and then they basically got rid of him. I talked to Mars and then saw a two set at a table. One was a HB6.5, and the other was a cute blonde 7.5. Before I had opened the set, I told Mars to come in as a wingman if he saw me standing there for 5 minutes or more.
I opened the 6.5, but then the 7.5 handed the phone over to the 6.5 I talked to her for a bit, while the other one was on the phone, and she told me they were actually ready to leave. I don't blame them as again, Alumni Club was shitty tonight. Mars rolled in and talked for a bit and then the girls got of the phone and said they had to go. Mars asked where they were going and the HB7.5 said they were going to her boyfriend who lives down the street.
I didn't learn too much tonight. I suppose I could have opened these sets sooner, but I don't really care that I didn't. When I opened the first set, I again was shown how you really have to open both girls in a two set. I knew that, but didn't have any time to engage the other one as her drink came within 15 seconds after I opened. I suppose I could have stood in between them like I usually do when opening two sets. I learned that Mars is cool and that he goes Tuesdays and Thursdays. At least I know I'm not completely solo on those days as I have some people I can talk to when I'm not sarging.
Other lessons:
-I opened a set of guys at one point because I was bored. I talked to this good looking guy. This was right before my first set. I tried to get him to wing with me and he said I should bring the girls over and he'd buy them drinks. LOL. Total AFC behavior. It just goes to show that looks really don't matter.
-I opened pretty much every set in the bar so I should be happy with that. Again, just a few weeks ago, I would have sat there and never opened a set and been made at myself afterwards. Now, I'm beginning to do what I always wanted.
-I talked to Seamas after I went to the bar and we reminisced about old times. I thought about my old AFC self. Well, actually, I was at a level below AFC before. If I even had the game I had now in college, I would have scored. I used to sit in class and I'd always see some girl I thought was cute. I'd dream about how cool she could be and every day I tell myself that I should work up the courage to talk to her, but I never would. It's funny that if I were in that class now, I would have talked to these girls on the first day, and I might have known then that I wouldn't have liked them. What's even worse is that there were a few times that girls opened me and I still managed to screw things up. Seamas and I had a class together with this one girl. That same quarter, I only had a class with her. One day, while waiting for the other class, she started a conversation with me. I answered her question and then I ended the conversation and turned away. I had such low self esteem that I was afraid I'd bore her so I prempted by ending the conversation. She probably thought I had no interest in talking to her when I would have loved to talk to her and take her out on a date. Another time, I was about 10 minutes early for a class and this really cute girl (I remember that she was at least an 8) opened me and we talked briefly. Again, I didn't keep the conversation going long and I never talked to her again even though she had opened me.
More AFC stuff:
-I went on a date with a girl in my running class. The date went really well and at the end, I grabbed her backpack from the trunk of my car. She took it and just stood there stalling. Even my AFC self knew that she was looking for a kiss, but my dumb ass couldn't get the courage to kiss her. Later, I sent her a dozen roses, which of course, was totally dumb.
-Other times, I had taken women out to expensive dinner hoping that I'd be able to convince them to give me sex. Wow, I was really clueless now.
Conclusion:
Not much happened tonight, but I guess I got to reflect on some things. No matter how badly I do and no matter how long it takes to get my first number close, my first kiss close, and my first fuck close, I should always remember what progress I've made. I remember the one time my friend Russell took me out and told me to "point and shoot." He was on a confidence high and he told me that night to point out any groups of girls, and we'd go talk to them. He actually followed through that night but we had no clue what to say so we bombed every set. After like the fourth one, I didn't want to go talk to girls anymore. Afterwards, I always remember how great that evening was. I always wished I could become bulletproof when it came to making approachs. Again, I'm now almost at that level. I still haven't been tested by a HB10 set. I imagine I'll have some approach anxiety with that type of set and I'll probably crash & burn since I have no experience with a set like that, but I'm now bulletproof with regular sets.
Total sets approached tonight: 4
Total approaches: 53
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Using the C&B:
Well, I can't help it. I keep thinking about what happened. Sure, it hurts to get rejected that fiercely by that girl, but I think I'm more pissed that I got outplayed. After reading some stuff on fastseduction.com, I've figured out some of the cooler stuff I could have said. There's nothing I could have done at the time; I ran into a superior opponent and I wasn't prepared. Again, I must think back about Reign of Fire. I will use the anger I feel to become even better at the game. I will remember this worse-case scenario approach when I'm afraid to make approaches. Though I'm still thinking about it, I should take comfort in the fact that it happened now. Having this shit happen on my first night out might have prevented me from gaining the levels I have. Since it happened now, I can deal with it and become stronger!
On a sidenote, I should remember that my game was only a small reason that the big C&B happened. Sure, I could have said some funny stuff and played the game better, but this woman had shields on maximum. Seamas had some good points. I'm probably smarter than her and I had a lot of value to offer her. She couldn't lower her shields; instead she transfered auxialary power to the shields. That's her loss, not mine. It wasn't worth penetrating her shield as she wasn't a 9 or 10 anyway.
Well, I can't help it. I keep thinking about what happened. Sure, it hurts to get rejected that fiercely by that girl, but I think I'm more pissed that I got outplayed. After reading some stuff on fastseduction.com, I've figured out some of the cooler stuff I could have said. There's nothing I could have done at the time; I ran into a superior opponent and I wasn't prepared. Again, I must think back about Reign of Fire. I will use the anger I feel to become even better at the game. I will remember this worse-case scenario approach when I'm afraid to make approaches. Though I'm still thinking about it, I should take comfort in the fact that it happened now. Having this shit happen on my first night out might have prevented me from gaining the levels I have. Since it happened now, I can deal with it and become stronger!
On a sidenote, I should remember that my game was only a small reason that the big C&B happened. Sure, I could have said some funny stuff and played the game better, but this woman had shields on maximum. Seamas had some good points. I'm probably smarter than her and I had a lot of value to offer her. She couldn't lower her shields; instead she transfered auxialary power to the shields. That's her loss, not mine. It wasn't worth penetrating her shield as she wasn't a 9 or 10 anyway.
CRASH & BURN:
Tonight was most interesting. I finally got to experience two worse case scenarios. This is the type of stuff that guys worry about when they have approach anxiety. Having hit rock bottom on these approaches, I now should have less approach anxiety since I know approaches can't possibly get worse than what happen. One problem, though, is that I'm still thinking about it, so I guess the experience has lingering effects. The blow up shouldn't be bothering me though.
I did a light workout before I went to the club. As I was finishing, I decided to talk to the girl working at the counter just so I could get warmed up. I made some comment about her reading the magazine and then I went from there. While I was talking, other women came in and left and I, of course, said, "Hi," to them as they walked by. At one point, I remember that she mentioned finishing her homework and she looked over at a "World History" book. She also commented that this was her last year. This is when it dawned upon me that she was young. I immediatly commented, "Oh, you're still in high school?" She replied, "Yeah, but I just turned 18." I interpreted that comment as her attempting to qualify herself. That's good that I'm starting to recognize these things. Anyway, we talk for a bit more, and then the coversation gets interrupted by some other woman. I finish my water, grab my stuff, and then leave. I make sure to say, "Bye" to this girl and to the woman.
I guess I should evaulate this girl. Now, the age of consent is 17 in IL so it would be perfectly legal to go for this girl if she were 17 or 18 (and she's definately one of those since she said she's a senior. Still, it seems weird to sarge some girl who's in high school considering I graduated high school 10 years ago. Then I thought about a professor my friend told me about who sleeps with 19 year old women, and he's in his 50's. I also think about these 18 and 19 year olds that make pornos so maybe that age isn't so innocent after all. For all I know, this girl lost her virginity when she was 14. I think I'll continue to talk to her if I see her working there and just see what happens.
Now, I end up going to the club by myself. Colorado wants to go play. I was hoping I'd see Dave from last week there but I end up not finding him. I get to Alumni Club at around 9:30PM. I've always wanted to get there earlier, but today it was a bad move. There were tons of guys and very few women. I grabbed a seat at the bar and got my two 50 cent drafts and scoped out the scene. Guys were all around me at the bar area. In the elevated table area, I spotted two sets. One of those sets got sarged while I was drinking my beer. I chill with my bears for like 10 minutes and talk to some 45 years old guy that happens to be sitting by me. We make small talk. I do believe that talking to guys is good. Talking to guys is practicing social skills which will help with sarging. Talking to guys can get you wingmen, and, as I learned today, knowing some people gives you a base to go back to and you can get some emotional support from random guys.
C&B #1:
I go to the washroom and come out reading to approach. I walk up to the elevated area and see that the upper floor is close. As I turn around, I see these two girls. I just walk up and say, "Hi, what's up?" One friend was a HB6.5, and the other one was probably an 8.5. It turns out I made a huge mistake in not realizing that the one girl was pretty good looking. I opened the set and I immediately was getting shit tested hardcore, and I was totally unprepared for this. Had I realized that the one girl was pretty good looking, I would have made sure to focus my conversation on the HB6.5, and later negged the hot girl. As always, I can't be too hard on myself because this was brand new stuff. Here's what I remember from the conversation:
8.5: Do I know you?
Me: (I didn't realize it was a shit test at the time, but it was.) I think I said something like: No, why do I look familiar?
8.5: No. (I believe she now said something like Why are you talking to us then?)
Me: I'm just being friendly.
8.5: Are you drunk?
Me: I had a few beers, but no, I'm not. (And I wasn't drunk after those two small drafts).
8.5: You seem to be fully of energy.
Me: Well, I have a lot of energy in general. I'll try to tone it down a little. (Blah, I just fell into her trap and qualified myself).
8.5: Why don't you buy us a drink?
Me: (This is when I started to notice she was pretty hot and that's why she had this total bitch shield. I had been expecting this line since I started sarging, but it was the first time it had been used on me.) Sorry, I don't do that.
8.5: It's only a 50 cents. Buy us a drink.
Me: It's not the money, it's the principle. I don't do that. You can buy me one.
8.5: Why should I?
Me: Well, you said it's only 50 cents, so why not?
8.5: I have plenty of money, but you should buy us a drink, it's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Me: Lol. Well, if that's what you want, there's plenty of guys out there that'll buy you drinks. They're out there holding up a wall next to the dance floor. These are the same type of guys that will call you 50 times a day if you give them you're number. They'll bring you flowers on a coffee date.
8.5: I've never had anyone call me that many times.
At this point, the Russian shot girl comes by. I put my arm around her and say, "Hi."
Shot girl: Want to do some shots? Why don't you buy them some shots?
Me: You already know that I don't buy shots. Girls, do you want shots? On you, of course.
(I think I really pissed off the 8.5 at this point).
When the shotgirl left, the 8.5 says that I can go now.
Me: (I had gotten so desensitized that I viewed everything as a shit test). Wow, you're brutal. What's up with you?
8.5: Wow, you're presistant.
Me: That's right.
8.5: (She thought for a few seconds and then said) You can get the fuck out of here.
Me: What? What's up?
8.5: I'm serious, get the fuck out of here.
Me: (realized that I've just crashed and burned as bad as possible) Okay. It was nice meeting you two.
As I said above, I think it's good that I was so desensitized that I wouldn't eject until she told me to get the fuck out. I think it's bad that I wasn't ready for the shit test. Seamas said I need to ignore the shit tests. I agree with that. He thinks I could have bought the drinks since they were so cheap (I hate the idea of supplicating at all) or I should have just said that I dont' do that and left it at that. By asking her to buy me a drink, Seamas thinks I elevated the stakes and then when she called me (to use the poker term), and I had nothing because I wasn't ready to play at that level. Beyond that, I should have realized this girl was likely to have a bitch shield on. Had I realized that, I could have approached things differently.
C&B#2:
Right after this, I walk away and spot another set at the lower bar area. I felt stupid after the last approach, so I walked right into this set. The set was a HB7 brunette, and HB7 blonde (this seems to be a common combination as of late). I say, "Hi" and ask them what brings them to Alumni Club. (On a side note, I should go back to openers. Not using a routine worked on Saturday, but it hasn't been working otherwise). They tell me they're meeting some friends. I ask how they know each other, and they say that they've known each other since high school. I run best friends test on them. I noticed that the blonde is totally disinterested in my and the conversation as she's kind of looking out to the side. The brunette seems semi-interested. At the very least, she's looking at me, listening and responding. I run out of stuff to say, so I ask if they'd date a guy in a tent.
Brunette says no. Blondes emphatically say's no.
Me: Can you envision a situation where you wouldn't say no?
Blonde: Would you date someone who lived in a tent?
Me: Actually, I had the same response that you did until I thought about it more. This guy that lived in the tent did so near LA. Imagine that you're out clubbing in LA and you meet this great guy. Somehow, you wind up at his place. As you pull up into the driveway, you see this huge house in Hollywood Hills. You're thinking, wow, he's not only a cool guy, but he's right too. Either that, or he still lives with his parents. You go inside and find out that bunch of guys are renting this house. He shows you the ten person hot tub, the huge granite kitchen, and some of the guys rooms. When you ask to see his room, he takes you out back and shows you the tent. Would you still dump him?
Blonde: Yeah.
Brunette: You're weird.
Me: That's because you're SO normal (borrowed this line from an MASF post.)
Brunette: That's mean. I'm mad at you now.
Me: It was mean to call me weird.
Brunette: I didn't say you were weird. I said you were random. (Whoops. I wouldn't have made that response if she'd said I was random. I would have come up with something better).
Me: (I try to salvage the situation by just moving onto another topic.) What do you do for fun?
Brunette: Hang out with my boyfriend. (I really think she was full of shit here, and I know that it was because I pissed her off).
Me: Wow, I just met you and you're already telling me you're problems. (I'd gotten two girls in the past to laugh at this line, but as I said it, I realized it wasn't going to sound good after I had made the previous comment.)
Brunette ignore me. Blondes says: I have a boyfriend who's here and he's going to kick your ass.
Me: LOL. I bet you two don't even have boyfriends.
Blonde: What?
Me: (here I go being an AFC) Well, I could believe you have boyfriends but I know that they aren't here.
Blonde: You should get out of here.
Me: Well, it was fun chatting to you.
Busted up again. Seamas read the situation right when I told him about it on the phone. Because I was still thinking about the first approach, I overreacted to the brunette's comment. I thought I heard her say I was weird, and I come up with an overly obnoxious comment. (Incidently, I don't think I'm going to use that reponse when I do get called weird in the future. I think it's too obnoxious. I need something that's cocky, but more funny.) Though the blonde was totally disinterested, the friend still might have been open to the idea (that was until I pissed her off.)
Third set:
I walk to the dance floor and see these a chubby HB6.5 brunette. I open with the universal opener and ask her the usual questions (What brings you here? Who are you with?) As I ask the second question, a chubby blonde HB6.5 comes. I greet her. Now, the girls are close together for a bit, but then they wind up being like 8-10 feet apart. This happened later in the night too. I'm used to having the girls stay close to me and at least pretend to give me their attention. This was weird because I couldn't talk to both girls at once. I switch off talking to both of them. The brunette then disappears for a few minutes so I talk to the blonde. I find out that they are waiting for more friends. A few minutes later, another chubby girl probably another 6.5 shows up and this guy. The guys is pretty good looking. He has a shirt with a design on the shoulder area, and he's wearing sunglasses. I greet him and then he says that he met me already. I ask him where and he said, "Remember those two girls Saturday? I was the guy with the pink shirt." I remember him then. I then figure I have some in so I ask the HB6.5 blonde if she knew the two twins from Saturday. She replies that she doesn't. Now, blonde talks to the new chubby girl, and the guy talks to the other the 6.5 brunette. I stood there feeling stupid so I just left and looked for more targets.
I swear I should have talked more to this guy. Obviously, he's a regular so I'll be seeing him more in the future. On top of that, he knew the HB7.5 from Saturday, and I should have asked him about her. I didn't have to do anything AFCish. I just should have asked if she was there. I say this because I swear I spotted her in the club, but I could have been wrong. I believe I saw her on the dance stage and later walking with some dude. I couldn't remember for sure, though. As the bar is closing, I see the dude again so I make sure to shake his hand and tell him to have a good night. I don't see the twins from Saturday so I assume they didn't come after all, so I don't bother asking him. In retrospect, I should have asked anyway.
Set #4:
After this set, I call Seamas on the phone and discuss stuff because I was feeling down. When we finish, I go to the bathroom. I come out and see these two girls standing at a table. I open them with the universal opener. Now, this was the second occurance of what I described above. These two wouldn't stay next to each other. They were like 10 feet away from each other. One was a cute, but fat brunette who was probably equivalent to the women in Set#3 so I'll call her brunetteHB6.5. The friend was fat too, but less attractive so I'd give her a 6, or even slightly lower. The 6.5 definately seemd the more interesting of the two. On top of that, she'd just come back from Vegas and was going in February . I thought that would be perfect since I knew all about Vegas. Before that happened, I had tried multiple times to talk to the 6, but everytime I said something to her, she'd whip her head around with this surprised look on her face. It was like she was surprised I was talking to her. Seamas says he thinks this girl had low self esteem.
When 6.5 and I are talking about Vegas, HB6 disappears. I ask if she went to dance, and 6.5 says she went to get a friend. HB6 appears with a Hispanic guy who puts his arm around HB6.5. At this point, I don't know what to think. I know they are not together, but maybe she asked the friend to get this guy to get rid of me. Seamas suggested that HB6 might have such low self esteem that she got the friend to get rid of me because I wasn't talking to her enough. I say, "Hi" to the guy and shake his hand. We exchange names. I then decide to bail because I don't really feel like dealing with this BS for a set that wasn't that good looking.
Rest of the night:
I go stand near the dance floor. I see some black guy standing so I greet him. I ask him how it's going and he asks me. I reply honestly (and maybe this hurts my inner game) that it's okay but I keep crashing and burning with girls. He says, "Hey that happens. Keep trying." It seems like most guys will give this advice, especially because most guys know what it's like. I later got the same from the 45+ year old guy. The black guy starts moving with the music. I say, "I dont' know how to dance. How did you learn?" He replied with good advice, actually, "I just watch music videos and learn from tehm." I never thought about doing that, but I should do it.
I stop some average (from behind) looking girl standing by herself. I go up and say, "Hi. You look bored." (I say that a lot and I should stop doing it. It has gotten poor results). She says something that I can't hear. I then ask her something like "What brings you here?" and she just walked away. Whoops!
I walk to the other side of the bar and see a HB7 blonde standing there with two drinks in front of her. I walk next to her and order a diet coke. I then turn talk to her. This dude then showed up and she gave him the drink. I greeted him and then ejected. In retrospect, I should have talk to both of them for practice and I should have asked how they knew each other. The guy seemed like an AFC and I'm not convinced they were actually together. My bruised inner game messed me up there.
My final set was a thin, but ugly blonde HB5.5, and a cute, but fat, brunette, HB6. I say, "Hi" to the brunette. I then try to make sure it's clear that I'm speaking to both of them, but HB6 turns her back to me. Seamas thinks that one of two things happens. The HB6 either turned around because she wanted to let me talk to the HB6 alone or HB6 turned because she was used to guys talking to the cuter one. I just can't believe the cuter one gets approached that much. I guess I should be surprised. She was kind of cute, so guys would approach her, while the blonde really wasn't that good looking, so they probably ignore her. I talk for a few minutes, and then some guy friend shows up. He came right up and started talking to her ear. Now, this could have been some AMOG who totally blew me out, but I think it wasn't. I greet the guy and then say, "Hey bro, is it your birthday?" He said it wasn't and I just left.
I looked for more sets after that, but there weren't any others to open. There were some girls on the dance floor, but that would have required dancing. I chatted with the 45+ guy a bit and then he left. I then proceeded to look for the girl from Saturday. It's probably good I didn't find her because I'd probably act weird. I kind of have one-itis with her since I that was my best set so far.
Lessons:
-When I approach a set, I have to approach the uglier one. I knew that, but I violated with girls who I thought were about equal in looks. But even if both girls are 6's, one usually is better looking.
-I need to learn how to deal with shit tests better. I've done better since that one Friday with Jason, but I was completely unprepared for a barage of shit tests.
-I need to not let previous sarges bother me. Easier said that done though. I was thinking about the first C&B during the 2nd sarge and am still thinking about it.
-Go back to openers. It was nice that HB7.5 from Saturday responsded to nonrehearsed material, but I seem to be falling flat after I say, "Hi."
-I'm not sure if I can do anything about this, but I think I'm getting negative value when people ask me who I came with. One time I answered that I was supposed to meet a guy but he had to watch his kids. That was fine, but I qualified myself by saying that most of my friends are lame and don't like to go out that often. BLAH! I just have to make up some BS that I met some friends and they left so they could go to bed early. I need to get more friendly with the girl charging admission, the bartenders, and the bouncers. That would give me some social proof.
-I went back to my old habit of ejecting too early because I had ejected so late with the first set. I still think I need to follow the Gunwitch saying "Make the ho say no." Another good saying comes from Boiler Room, "A sale is made on every call. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you on a reason you can't." So I either seduce the girl, or she convinces me that I'm rejected. Funny thing is that previously, girls had rejected me by walking away, or excusing themselves to the bathroom. This was the first time I'd be told to my face to get away.
Approaches today: 8
Total approaches: 49
Tonight was most interesting. I finally got to experience two worse case scenarios. This is the type of stuff that guys worry about when they have approach anxiety. Having hit rock bottom on these approaches, I now should have less approach anxiety since I know approaches can't possibly get worse than what happen. One problem, though, is that I'm still thinking about it, so I guess the experience has lingering effects. The blow up shouldn't be bothering me though.
I did a light workout before I went to the club. As I was finishing, I decided to talk to the girl working at the counter just so I could get warmed up. I made some comment about her reading the magazine and then I went from there. While I was talking, other women came in and left and I, of course, said, "Hi," to them as they walked by. At one point, I remember that she mentioned finishing her homework and she looked over at a "World History" book. She also commented that this was her last year. This is when it dawned upon me that she was young. I immediatly commented, "Oh, you're still in high school?" She replied, "Yeah, but I just turned 18." I interpreted that comment as her attempting to qualify herself. That's good that I'm starting to recognize these things. Anyway, we talk for a bit more, and then the coversation gets interrupted by some other woman. I finish my water, grab my stuff, and then leave. I make sure to say, "Bye" to this girl and to the woman.
I guess I should evaulate this girl. Now, the age of consent is 17 in IL so it would be perfectly legal to go for this girl if she were 17 or 18 (and she's definately one of those since she said she's a senior. Still, it seems weird to sarge some girl who's in high school considering I graduated high school 10 years ago. Then I thought about a professor my friend told me about who sleeps with 19 year old women, and he's in his 50's. I also think about these 18 and 19 year olds that make pornos so maybe that age isn't so innocent after all. For all I know, this girl lost her virginity when she was 14. I think I'll continue to talk to her if I see her working there and just see what happens.
Now, I end up going to the club by myself. Colorado wants to go play. I was hoping I'd see Dave from last week there but I end up not finding him. I get to Alumni Club at around 9:30PM. I've always wanted to get there earlier, but today it was a bad move. There were tons of guys and very few women. I grabbed a seat at the bar and got my two 50 cent drafts and scoped out the scene. Guys were all around me at the bar area. In the elevated table area, I spotted two sets. One of those sets got sarged while I was drinking my beer. I chill with my bears for like 10 minutes and talk to some 45 years old guy that happens to be sitting by me. We make small talk. I do believe that talking to guys is good. Talking to guys is practicing social skills which will help with sarging. Talking to guys can get you wingmen, and, as I learned today, knowing some people gives you a base to go back to and you can get some emotional support from random guys.
C&B #1:
I go to the washroom and come out reading to approach. I walk up to the elevated area and see that the upper floor is close. As I turn around, I see these two girls. I just walk up and say, "Hi, what's up?" One friend was a HB6.5, and the other one was probably an 8.5. It turns out I made a huge mistake in not realizing that the one girl was pretty good looking. I opened the set and I immediately was getting shit tested hardcore, and I was totally unprepared for this. Had I realized that the one girl was pretty good looking, I would have made sure to focus my conversation on the HB6.5, and later negged the hot girl. As always, I can't be too hard on myself because this was brand new stuff. Here's what I remember from the conversation:
8.5: Do I know you?
Me: (I didn't realize it was a shit test at the time, but it was.) I think I said something like: No, why do I look familiar?
8.5: No. (I believe she now said something like Why are you talking to us then?)
Me: I'm just being friendly.
8.5: Are you drunk?
Me: I had a few beers, but no, I'm not. (And I wasn't drunk after those two small drafts).
8.5: You seem to be fully of energy.
Me: Well, I have a lot of energy in general. I'll try to tone it down a little. (Blah, I just fell into her trap and qualified myself).
8.5: Why don't you buy us a drink?
Me: (This is when I started to notice she was pretty hot and that's why she had this total bitch shield. I had been expecting this line since I started sarging, but it was the first time it had been used on me.) Sorry, I don't do that.
8.5: It's only a 50 cents. Buy us a drink.
Me: It's not the money, it's the principle. I don't do that. You can buy me one.
8.5: Why should I?
Me: Well, you said it's only 50 cents, so why not?
8.5: I have plenty of money, but you should buy us a drink, it's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Me: Lol. Well, if that's what you want, there's plenty of guys out there that'll buy you drinks. They're out there holding up a wall next to the dance floor. These are the same type of guys that will call you 50 times a day if you give them you're number. They'll bring you flowers on a coffee date.
8.5: I've never had anyone call me that many times.
At this point, the Russian shot girl comes by. I put my arm around her and say, "Hi."
Shot girl: Want to do some shots? Why don't you buy them some shots?
Me: You already know that I don't buy shots. Girls, do you want shots? On you, of course.
(I think I really pissed off the 8.5 at this point).
When the shotgirl left, the 8.5 says that I can go now.
Me: (I had gotten so desensitized that I viewed everything as a shit test). Wow, you're brutal. What's up with you?
8.5: Wow, you're presistant.
Me: That's right.
8.5: (She thought for a few seconds and then said) You can get the fuck out of here.
Me: What? What's up?
8.5: I'm serious, get the fuck out of here.
Me: (realized that I've just crashed and burned as bad as possible) Okay. It was nice meeting you two.
As I said above, I think it's good that I was so desensitized that I wouldn't eject until she told me to get the fuck out. I think it's bad that I wasn't ready for the shit test. Seamas said I need to ignore the shit tests. I agree with that. He thinks I could have bought the drinks since they were so cheap (I hate the idea of supplicating at all) or I should have just said that I dont' do that and left it at that. By asking her to buy me a drink, Seamas thinks I elevated the stakes and then when she called me (to use the poker term), and I had nothing because I wasn't ready to play at that level. Beyond that, I should have realized this girl was likely to have a bitch shield on. Had I realized that, I could have approached things differently.
C&B#2:
Right after this, I walk away and spot another set at the lower bar area. I felt stupid after the last approach, so I walked right into this set. The set was a HB7 brunette, and HB7 blonde (this seems to be a common combination as of late). I say, "Hi" and ask them what brings them to Alumni Club. (On a side note, I should go back to openers. Not using a routine worked on Saturday, but it hasn't been working otherwise). They tell me they're meeting some friends. I ask how they know each other, and they say that they've known each other since high school. I run best friends test on them. I noticed that the blonde is totally disinterested in my and the conversation as she's kind of looking out to the side. The brunette seems semi-interested. At the very least, she's looking at me, listening and responding. I run out of stuff to say, so I ask if they'd date a guy in a tent.
Brunette says no. Blondes emphatically say's no.
Me: Can you envision a situation where you wouldn't say no?
Blonde: Would you date someone who lived in a tent?
Me: Actually, I had the same response that you did until I thought about it more. This guy that lived in the tent did so near LA. Imagine that you're out clubbing in LA and you meet this great guy. Somehow, you wind up at his place. As you pull up into the driveway, you see this huge house in Hollywood Hills. You're thinking, wow, he's not only a cool guy, but he's right too. Either that, or he still lives with his parents. You go inside and find out that bunch of guys are renting this house. He shows you the ten person hot tub, the huge granite kitchen, and some of the guys rooms. When you ask to see his room, he takes you out back and shows you the tent. Would you still dump him?
Blonde: Yeah.
Brunette: You're weird.
Me: That's because you're SO normal (borrowed this line from an MASF post.)
Brunette: That's mean. I'm mad at you now.
Me: It was mean to call me weird.
Brunette: I didn't say you were weird. I said you were random. (Whoops. I wouldn't have made that response if she'd said I was random. I would have come up with something better).
Me: (I try to salvage the situation by just moving onto another topic.) What do you do for fun?
Brunette: Hang out with my boyfriend. (I really think she was full of shit here, and I know that it was because I pissed her off).
Me: Wow, I just met you and you're already telling me you're problems. (I'd gotten two girls in the past to laugh at this line, but as I said it, I realized it wasn't going to sound good after I had made the previous comment.)
Brunette ignore me. Blondes says: I have a boyfriend who's here and he's going to kick your ass.
Me: LOL. I bet you two don't even have boyfriends.
Blonde: What?
Me: (here I go being an AFC) Well, I could believe you have boyfriends but I know that they aren't here.
Blonde: You should get out of here.
Me: Well, it was fun chatting to you.
Busted up again. Seamas read the situation right when I told him about it on the phone. Because I was still thinking about the first approach, I overreacted to the brunette's comment. I thought I heard her say I was weird, and I come up with an overly obnoxious comment. (Incidently, I don't think I'm going to use that reponse when I do get called weird in the future. I think it's too obnoxious. I need something that's cocky, but more funny.) Though the blonde was totally disinterested, the friend still might have been open to the idea (that was until I pissed her off.)
Third set:
I walk to the dance floor and see these a chubby HB6.5 brunette. I open with the universal opener and ask her the usual questions (What brings you here? Who are you with?) As I ask the second question, a chubby blonde HB6.5 comes. I greet her. Now, the girls are close together for a bit, but then they wind up being like 8-10 feet apart. This happened later in the night too. I'm used to having the girls stay close to me and at least pretend to give me their attention. This was weird because I couldn't talk to both girls at once. I switch off talking to both of them. The brunette then disappears for a few minutes so I talk to the blonde. I find out that they are waiting for more friends. A few minutes later, another chubby girl probably another 6.5 shows up and this guy. The guys is pretty good looking. He has a shirt with a design on the shoulder area, and he's wearing sunglasses. I greet him and then he says that he met me already. I ask him where and he said, "Remember those two girls Saturday? I was the guy with the pink shirt." I remember him then. I then figure I have some in so I ask the HB6.5 blonde if she knew the two twins from Saturday. She replies that she doesn't. Now, blonde talks to the new chubby girl, and the guy talks to the other the 6.5 brunette. I stood there feeling stupid so I just left and looked for more targets.
I swear I should have talked more to this guy. Obviously, he's a regular so I'll be seeing him more in the future. On top of that, he knew the HB7.5 from Saturday, and I should have asked him about her. I didn't have to do anything AFCish. I just should have asked if she was there. I say this because I swear I spotted her in the club, but I could have been wrong. I believe I saw her on the dance stage and later walking with some dude. I couldn't remember for sure, though. As the bar is closing, I see the dude again so I make sure to shake his hand and tell him to have a good night. I don't see the twins from Saturday so I assume they didn't come after all, so I don't bother asking him. In retrospect, I should have asked anyway.
Set #4:
After this set, I call Seamas on the phone and discuss stuff because I was feeling down. When we finish, I go to the bathroom. I come out and see these two girls standing at a table. I open them with the universal opener. Now, this was the second occurance of what I described above. These two wouldn't stay next to each other. They were like 10 feet away from each other. One was a cute, but fat brunette who was probably equivalent to the women in Set#3 so I'll call her brunetteHB6.5. The friend was fat too, but less attractive so I'd give her a 6, or even slightly lower. The 6.5 definately seemd the more interesting of the two. On top of that, she'd just come back from Vegas and was going in February . I thought that would be perfect since I knew all about Vegas. Before that happened, I had tried multiple times to talk to the 6, but everytime I said something to her, she'd whip her head around with this surprised look on her face. It was like she was surprised I was talking to her. Seamas says he thinks this girl had low self esteem.
When 6.5 and I are talking about Vegas, HB6 disappears. I ask if she went to dance, and 6.5 says she went to get a friend. HB6 appears with a Hispanic guy who puts his arm around HB6.5. At this point, I don't know what to think. I know they are not together, but maybe she asked the friend to get this guy to get rid of me. Seamas suggested that HB6 might have such low self esteem that she got the friend to get rid of me because I wasn't talking to her enough. I say, "Hi" to the guy and shake his hand. We exchange names. I then decide to bail because I don't really feel like dealing with this BS for a set that wasn't that good looking.
Rest of the night:
I go stand near the dance floor. I see some black guy standing so I greet him. I ask him how it's going and he asks me. I reply honestly (and maybe this hurts my inner game) that it's okay but I keep crashing and burning with girls. He says, "Hey that happens. Keep trying." It seems like most guys will give this advice, especially because most guys know what it's like. I later got the same from the 45+ year old guy. The black guy starts moving with the music. I say, "I dont' know how to dance. How did you learn?" He replied with good advice, actually, "I just watch music videos and learn from tehm." I never thought about doing that, but I should do it.
I stop some average (from behind) looking girl standing by herself. I go up and say, "Hi. You look bored." (I say that a lot and I should stop doing it. It has gotten poor results). She says something that I can't hear. I then ask her something like "What brings you here?" and she just walked away. Whoops!
I walk to the other side of the bar and see a HB7 blonde standing there with two drinks in front of her. I walk next to her and order a diet coke. I then turn talk to her. This dude then showed up and she gave him the drink. I greeted him and then ejected. In retrospect, I should have talk to both of them for practice and I should have asked how they knew each other. The guy seemed like an AFC and I'm not convinced they were actually together. My bruised inner game messed me up there.
My final set was a thin, but ugly blonde HB5.5, and a cute, but fat, brunette, HB6. I say, "Hi" to the brunette. I then try to make sure it's clear that I'm speaking to both of them, but HB6 turns her back to me. Seamas thinks that one of two things happens. The HB6 either turned around because she wanted to let me talk to the HB6 alone or HB6 turned because she was used to guys talking to the cuter one. I just can't believe the cuter one gets approached that much. I guess I should be surprised. She was kind of cute, so guys would approach her, while the blonde really wasn't that good looking, so they probably ignore her. I talk for a few minutes, and then some guy friend shows up. He came right up and started talking to her ear. Now, this could have been some AMOG who totally blew me out, but I think it wasn't. I greet the guy and then say, "Hey bro, is it your birthday?" He said it wasn't and I just left.
I looked for more sets after that, but there weren't any others to open. There were some girls on the dance floor, but that would have required dancing. I chatted with the 45+ guy a bit and then he left. I then proceeded to look for the girl from Saturday. It's probably good I didn't find her because I'd probably act weird. I kind of have one-itis with her since I that was my best set so far.
Lessons:
-When I approach a set, I have to approach the uglier one. I knew that, but I violated with girls who I thought were about equal in looks. But even if both girls are 6's, one usually is better looking.
-I need to learn how to deal with shit tests better. I've done better since that one Friday with Jason, but I was completely unprepared for a barage of shit tests.
-I need to not let previous sarges bother me. Easier said that done though. I was thinking about the first C&B during the 2nd sarge and am still thinking about it.
-Go back to openers. It was nice that HB7.5 from Saturday responsded to nonrehearsed material, but I seem to be falling flat after I say, "Hi."
-I'm not sure if I can do anything about this, but I think I'm getting negative value when people ask me who I came with. One time I answered that I was supposed to meet a guy but he had to watch his kids. That was fine, but I qualified myself by saying that most of my friends are lame and don't like to go out that often. BLAH! I just have to make up some BS that I met some friends and they left so they could go to bed early. I need to get more friendly with the girl charging admission, the bartenders, and the bouncers. That would give me some social proof.
-I went back to my old habit of ejecting too early because I had ejected so late with the first set. I still think I need to follow the Gunwitch saying "Make the ho say no." Another good saying comes from Boiler Room, "A sale is made on every call. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you on a reason you can't." So I either seduce the girl, or she convinces me that I'm rejected. Funny thing is that previously, girls had rejected me by walking away, or excusing themselves to the bathroom. This was the first time I'd be told to my face to get away.
Approaches today: 8
Total approaches: 49
Monday, November 14, 2005
Regrets, Experience Points:
I feel dumb for feeling this way and I supposed I'll get over it when I go sarging again Tuesday. I can't help but ponder my failure to close HB7.5 Saturday night. I'm angry at myself for letting Colorado's info mess up my inner game. I mean, why we I just suggest that we eject just because the twin told him some stuff. Again, I should have expected that; after all, that is the whole reason one needs to isolate. At the very least, I should have made an attempt to number close at the point because I'm pretty sure she was attracted to me. I guess my oldAFC self crept back in for a moment when I was caught offguard by that comment. It's too bad Colorado hasn't yet developed into a great wingman or he could have helped me close. I can't help but wonder if he was blinded by his attraction to this girl. I have to make it clear that he is not to try to game the same girl I'm gaming or I'm simply going to operate solo in the future.
I was definately physically attracted to HB7.5, but I think what bothers me is that she seemd like my type of girl. Again, when I asked her what she likes to do for fun, the first thing she mentioned was going to museums, and she specifically mentioned the Museum of Science and Industry first. I can't say I ever met a girl that has done that. As I said previously, I've been wanting to go and see the new exhibits for awhile now.
Oh well, I guess I can use what I'm feeling now to motivate me to close future sets. I can't be too hard on myself as this is the first time a number close would have been appropriate. I'm making good progress and with more practice, I'll have more opportunities soon.
Using my RPG model, I can definately say I've moved up one or two levels last night:
-I practiced AMOG tactics.
-I've fixed some problems with my body language and I axed some obvious things on TD's 25 points list. I make sure to always stand up straight and never lean in like I used to. If a girl can't hear me, I still won't lean in. I noticed an effect of that: on Sat. HB7.5 couldn't hear me a few times, and she said, "What?" and leaned in so she could hear better. In the past, I would have been the one to lean in. When I can't hear I girl, though, I never say, "What?" anymore. I just craft my response to fit what I think she said. If she made some short comment and smiled in a way that sounded like she was making a funny comment, I just smile. If she giggles, I giggle too. If it was something longer, I sit there with this disinterested look on my face and then just ask something else.
-I feel a ton more comfortable opening 2 sets. I guess the next move will be to open a 3 or 4 sets, which I have yet to try. I kept the driver 2- set, and the HB7.5&HB6 2-set interested for 5 minutes+ by myself. The thing I still am trying to figure out is how I would isolate one if I'm by myself. I believe the answer is that I should see which one seems to be vibing better. If I've kept the set occupied for 5+ minutes, then the friend might let me isolate the target. I still think there might be a tendancy to cockblock as the friend would get bored. Another isolation move might be to ask which of the girls is more adventureous or creative. Then I can say something like, "I'm going to borrow you friend for a few mins." Then, I can rune the cube, trust test, and/or strawberry fields.
-Something that I read about just occurred to me. It might be easier to isolate a girl from a 3 or 4 set because the remaining friends can still talk amongst themselves. I should remember that when I'm having approach anxiety concerning opening those sets.
-Lone wolfs: Maybe I'm kidding myself since I've been watching football all day, but I think I've lost almost all approach anxiety when it comes to them. The thing is that I really don't see that many at Alumni Club in Schaumburg. As I think about it more, I think this applies to clubs. I haven't really practice day game, but I bet with a few more day outings, I'd feel more comfortable.
I feel dumb for feeling this way and I supposed I'll get over it when I go sarging again Tuesday. I can't help but ponder my failure to close HB7.5 Saturday night. I'm angry at myself for letting Colorado's info mess up my inner game. I mean, why we I just suggest that we eject just because the twin told him some stuff. Again, I should have expected that; after all, that is the whole reason one needs to isolate. At the very least, I should have made an attempt to number close at the point because I'm pretty sure she was attracted to me. I guess my oldAFC self crept back in for a moment when I was caught offguard by that comment. It's too bad Colorado hasn't yet developed into a great wingman or he could have helped me close. I can't help but wonder if he was blinded by his attraction to this girl. I have to make it clear that he is not to try to game the same girl I'm gaming or I'm simply going to operate solo in the future.
I was definately physically attracted to HB7.5, but I think what bothers me is that she seemd like my type of girl. Again, when I asked her what she likes to do for fun, the first thing she mentioned was going to museums, and she specifically mentioned the Museum of Science and Industry first. I can't say I ever met a girl that has done that. As I said previously, I've been wanting to go and see the new exhibits for awhile now.
Oh well, I guess I can use what I'm feeling now to motivate me to close future sets. I can't be too hard on myself as this is the first time a number close would have been appropriate. I'm making good progress and with more practice, I'll have more opportunities soon.
Using my RPG model, I can definately say I've moved up one or two levels last night:
-I practiced AMOG tactics.
-I've fixed some problems with my body language and I axed some obvious things on TD's 25 points list. I make sure to always stand up straight and never lean in like I used to. If a girl can't hear me, I still won't lean in. I noticed an effect of that: on Sat. HB7.5 couldn't hear me a few times, and she said, "What?" and leaned in so she could hear better. In the past, I would have been the one to lean in. When I can't hear I girl, though, I never say, "What?" anymore. I just craft my response to fit what I think she said. If she made some short comment and smiled in a way that sounded like she was making a funny comment, I just smile. If she giggles, I giggle too. If it was something longer, I sit there with this disinterested look on my face and then just ask something else.
-I feel a ton more comfortable opening 2 sets. I guess the next move will be to open a 3 or 4 sets, which I have yet to try. I kept the driver 2- set, and the HB7.5&HB6 2-set interested for 5 minutes+ by myself. The thing I still am trying to figure out is how I would isolate one if I'm by myself. I believe the answer is that I should see which one seems to be vibing better. If I've kept the set occupied for 5+ minutes, then the friend might let me isolate the target. I still think there might be a tendancy to cockblock as the friend would get bored. Another isolation move might be to ask which of the girls is more adventureous or creative. Then I can say something like, "I'm going to borrow you friend for a few mins." Then, I can rune the cube, trust test, and/or strawberry fields.
-Something that I read about just occurred to me. It might be easier to isolate a girl from a 3 or 4 set because the remaining friends can still talk amongst themselves. I should remember that when I'm having approach anxiety concerning opening those sets.
-Lone wolfs: Maybe I'm kidding myself since I've been watching football all day, but I think I've lost almost all approach anxiety when it comes to them. The thing is that I really don't see that many at Alumni Club in Schaumburg. As I think about it more, I think this applies to clubs. I haven't really practice day game, but I bet with a few more day outings, I'd feel more comfortable.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Best set to date:
Last night, I had my best set to date. I did make some mistakes, but I'll explain that later. I stopped these two girls standing by the Golden Tee machine at Alumni Club. One was a brunette HB7.5. The other was a slightly taller blonde HB6. I tell Dave we should go open this set. I walk over, and of course, I wind up approaching solo. I didn't feel like using my tent opener, so I just said, "Hi." The girls greet me. I then ask them what brings them to Alumni Club, and they tell me they are just out drinking. I think I made some cold read that I thought was BS at the time (but it turned out to be accurate) that the HB7.5 was the party girl and the HB6 was the more conversative one. HB7.5 says they are both about equal. I then went into the Best Friend's test. I tell them that they've known each other awhile because they made the right contact. I said that if they hadn't had a connection, and had met at work or something, then I would have known. HB7.5 then mentions that they actually had met at work and ended up going to the same college, ISU.
At this point, Colorado finally shows up. I can't blame him too much as he had told me that he wasn't feeling too confident today because of ex-girlfriend problems. On top of that, we'd never gone out to the bar so he didn't know what to expect. He knew the total AFC me so he probably figured it was likely I'd just stand around and do little or nothing the whole night. Anyway, I introduce Colorado and then the girls introduce themselves as we didn't know each others name. I end up talking to HB7.5, and Colorado talks to the blonde. At this point, Colorado does very well. We talk to both of thse girls for over 5 minutes. I should have isolated but I wasn't sure when to do it so I kept putting it off.
This is where things got crazy and I can interpret things in two ways depending on how I interpret some stuff that happens later. At this point, though, I'm getting a good vibe from this girl. I had given Orathlaigh (a college friend who lives in Gainesville), an update about the AMOG situation. He had read me a "kino post" from fastseduction to remind me to do kino as I had told him I didn't do kino at all during the AMOG set. That was good because I remembered to do kino with HB7.5. When we made the introductions, I made sure to hold her hand for longer than necessary (and was surprised to see she wasn't pulling away). During the conversation, I remembered that I touched her arm and shoulders a few times and even put my hand around her back briefly. At the begining, I had kept my body turned away, but she had ended up facing me.
While I kept putting of the isolation move, HB7.5's twin sister walked by and she pointed that out to me. Then she gets a call from the sister as the sister had been looking for her. She says she's going to go find her so she leaves me there. Colorado and HB6 have been talking the entire time and continue after this. I decided to stay because I thought she was interested, plus her friend was still here. Sure enough, she came back and we talked for a bit longer. Not long after that, I still hadn't isolated and neither had Colorado (I had told him about the isolation technique, but I blame this on me. I knew what I had to do and I should have isolated.) Suddenly, Christina Aguilera's Dirty song comes on and HB7.5 starts moving to the music. She then says she loves this song. I ask her if she likes Christina's music (in general) and she said she just loves this song. She then says she wants to dance so she pulls HB6 to the dance floor. I'm pretty sure Colorado was ready to just give up there, but I pulled him along.
We got on the dance floor and started to dance with our respective chicks. Later, I'd learn that I should have grinded with HB7.5 more. I put my arm around her waist a few times but I let go. We finish the song and then she says she's going to meet up with her sister. Now, I'm not sure if she was trying to ditch me, but I say I'll tag along. I follow her. HB6 follows me, and somehow Dave gets left on the dance floor. We wind up at this table that consists of her twin, the twin's ex boyfriend, and two guy friends. HB7.5 introduces me. I then start talking to the guy sitting next to the twin because I want to make sure I disarmed the targets. I think I tried to do so too much because he actually asked me if I was trying to pick him up. LOL. After that, I say hi to the guy friends. HB7.5 must really like to dance because she ended up dacing with these guy friends. They were really grinding with her in a sandwich. While this was going on, I started talking to HB6 because she looked bored and I realized I couldn't join the dance.
Colorado shows up and he won't go back to HB6. I guess he felt she wasn't attractive enough. I then see him start talking to HB7.5. I'm like WTF, so I go over there. She starts dancing with the music, so I come up from behind and put my arms around her. She seemed to like having me run my hands up and down her torso (I didn't go lower than her hip, and I got near the breats but never touched them). Colorado keeps talking to her while I'm doing this which is annoying me. I'm willing to talk to the less attractive girl if we work it out ahead of time, but my wing isn't supposed to put moves on the girl I have staked out, especially when I'm the one who opened the set. One top of that, I had to keep the set interested for 5 minutes because he had been chicken and not come up right away.
I dance with HB7.5 a little more and Dave walks and starts talking to the twin. HB7.5 then turns and faces me. We dance for a little longer and then she and I both take a break. Colorado then comes up to me and tells me that the twin kept telling him that he should get me away from her sister. The twin said she could tell HB7.5 didn't like me. That was weird, for not liking me, she sured seemed willing to dance with me. She could have easily gotten rid of me by going back to dance with the guy friends or going to the dance floor with the guy friends. Stupid me, though, I let this stuff mess with my head. Dave still won't go talk to HB6, so we just eject. I let that comment mess my inner game so much that we didn't even say goodbye to anyway and just walked away.
Lessons learned:
Overall, this was a great set and I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Fifteen days ago, I would have stood by the wall all day and would have kept trying to convince myself to approach. Now, I approach much more easily. Colorado later told me that he was shocked how fast I approached when we walked in the bar. He said he had figured we'd talk about how we were going to approach sets at the bar when we got there, but I had approached a set only a few minutes after we walked in. On top of that, HB7.5 and HB6 to a lesser degree were unbelievable able to talk to. I regret not number closing HB7.5 because she even seemed like she would have been a fun person to spend time with. She said she liked museums, and mentioned the Museum of Science and Industry specifically. BTW, my dumb ass should have suggested that we go together at that point because I've been wanted to see that museum for some time now. Instead, I told my story about sneaking into Bodyworlds (which was probably good). She also said she liked the theater, which I do too.
Other lessons learned:
-Isolation is huge. I knew that in theory, but next time I just have to force myself to do it. This night would have gone a lot smoother had I done this. The twin wouldn't have told Colorado that stuff. Colorado wouldn't have been able to talk to HB7.5 while I was occupied. I think I also wouldn't have been more likely to number close if I had had her isolated.
-I have to keep opening more and more sets. This was definately a good ego boost (LOL, I can only imagine how much an fclose boosts the ego). I'm going to find another set that starts out smoothly like this one did, and the more sets I open, the faster it will happen.
Total approach count:
6 more, so 41 total
Last night, I had my best set to date. I did make some mistakes, but I'll explain that later. I stopped these two girls standing by the Golden Tee machine at Alumni Club. One was a brunette HB7.5. The other was a slightly taller blonde HB6. I tell Dave we should go open this set. I walk over, and of course, I wind up approaching solo. I didn't feel like using my tent opener, so I just said, "Hi." The girls greet me. I then ask them what brings them to Alumni Club, and they tell me they are just out drinking. I think I made some cold read that I thought was BS at the time (but it turned out to be accurate) that the HB7.5 was the party girl and the HB6 was the more conversative one. HB7.5 says they are both about equal. I then went into the Best Friend's test. I tell them that they've known each other awhile because they made the right contact. I said that if they hadn't had a connection, and had met at work or something, then I would have known. HB7.5 then mentions that they actually had met at work and ended up going to the same college, ISU.
At this point, Colorado finally shows up. I can't blame him too much as he had told me that he wasn't feeling too confident today because of ex-girlfriend problems. On top of that, we'd never gone out to the bar so he didn't know what to expect. He knew the total AFC me so he probably figured it was likely I'd just stand around and do little or nothing the whole night. Anyway, I introduce Colorado and then the girls introduce themselves as we didn't know each others name. I end up talking to HB7.5, and Colorado talks to the blonde. At this point, Colorado does very well. We talk to both of thse girls for over 5 minutes. I should have isolated but I wasn't sure when to do it so I kept putting it off.
This is where things got crazy and I can interpret things in two ways depending on how I interpret some stuff that happens later. At this point, though, I'm getting a good vibe from this girl. I had given Orathlaigh (a college friend who lives in Gainesville), an update about the AMOG situation. He had read me a "kino post" from fastseduction to remind me to do kino as I had told him I didn't do kino at all during the AMOG set. That was good because I remembered to do kino with HB7.5. When we made the introductions, I made sure to hold her hand for longer than necessary (and was surprised to see she wasn't pulling away). During the conversation, I remembered that I touched her arm and shoulders a few times and even put my hand around her back briefly. At the begining, I had kept my body turned away, but she had ended up facing me.
While I kept putting of the isolation move, HB7.5's twin sister walked by and she pointed that out to me. Then she gets a call from the sister as the sister had been looking for her. She says she's going to go find her so she leaves me there. Colorado and HB6 have been talking the entire time and continue after this. I decided to stay because I thought she was interested, plus her friend was still here. Sure enough, she came back and we talked for a bit longer. Not long after that, I still hadn't isolated and neither had Colorado (I had told him about the isolation technique, but I blame this on me. I knew what I had to do and I should have isolated.) Suddenly, Christina Aguilera's Dirty song comes on and HB7.5 starts moving to the music. She then says she loves this song. I ask her if she likes Christina's music (in general) and she said she just loves this song. She then says she wants to dance so she pulls HB6 to the dance floor. I'm pretty sure Colorado was ready to just give up there, but I pulled him along.
We got on the dance floor and started to dance with our respective chicks. Later, I'd learn that I should have grinded with HB7.5 more. I put my arm around her waist a few times but I let go. We finish the song and then she says she's going to meet up with her sister. Now, I'm not sure if she was trying to ditch me, but I say I'll tag along. I follow her. HB6 follows me, and somehow Dave gets left on the dance floor. We wind up at this table that consists of her twin, the twin's ex boyfriend, and two guy friends. HB7.5 introduces me. I then start talking to the guy sitting next to the twin because I want to make sure I disarmed the targets. I think I tried to do so too much because he actually asked me if I was trying to pick him up. LOL. After that, I say hi to the guy friends. HB7.5 must really like to dance because she ended up dacing with these guy friends. They were really grinding with her in a sandwich. While this was going on, I started talking to HB6 because she looked bored and I realized I couldn't join the dance.
Colorado shows up and he won't go back to HB6. I guess he felt she wasn't attractive enough. I then see him start talking to HB7.5. I'm like WTF, so I go over there. She starts dancing with the music, so I come up from behind and put my arms around her. She seemed to like having me run my hands up and down her torso (I didn't go lower than her hip, and I got near the breats but never touched them). Colorado keeps talking to her while I'm doing this which is annoying me. I'm willing to talk to the less attractive girl if we work it out ahead of time, but my wing isn't supposed to put moves on the girl I have staked out, especially when I'm the one who opened the set. One top of that, I had to keep the set interested for 5 minutes because he had been chicken and not come up right away.
I dance with HB7.5 a little more and Dave walks and starts talking to the twin. HB7.5 then turns and faces me. We dance for a little longer and then she and I both take a break. Colorado then comes up to me and tells me that the twin kept telling him that he should get me away from her sister. The twin said she could tell HB7.5 didn't like me. That was weird, for not liking me, she sured seemed willing to dance with me. She could have easily gotten rid of me by going back to dance with the guy friends or going to the dance floor with the guy friends. Stupid me, though, I let this stuff mess with my head. Dave still won't go talk to HB6, so we just eject. I let that comment mess my inner game so much that we didn't even say goodbye to anyway and just walked away.
Lessons learned:
Overall, this was a great set and I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Fifteen days ago, I would have stood by the wall all day and would have kept trying to convince myself to approach. Now, I approach much more easily. Colorado later told me that he was shocked how fast I approached when we walked in the bar. He said he had figured we'd talk about how we were going to approach sets at the bar when we got there, but I had approached a set only a few minutes after we walked in. On top of that, HB7.5 and HB6 to a lesser degree were unbelievable able to talk to. I regret not number closing HB7.5 because she even seemed like she would have been a fun person to spend time with. She said she liked museums, and mentioned the Museum of Science and Industry specifically. BTW, my dumb ass should have suggested that we go together at that point because I've been wanted to see that museum for some time now. Instead, I told my story about sneaking into Bodyworlds (which was probably good). She also said she liked the theater, which I do too.
Other lessons learned:
-Isolation is huge. I knew that in theory, but next time I just have to force myself to do it. This night would have gone a lot smoother had I done this. The twin wouldn't have told Colorado that stuff. Colorado wouldn't have been able to talk to HB7.5 while I was occupied. I think I also wouldn't have been more likely to number close if I had had her isolated.
-I have to keep opening more and more sets. This was definately a good ego boost (LOL, I can only imagine how much an fclose boosts the ego). I'm going to find another set that starts out smoothly like this one did, and the more sets I open, the faster it will happen.
Total approach count:
6 more, so 41 total
AMOG practice:
Well, tonight was the best night of sarging yet for me. No closes, but one definately could have been a number close if I hadn't messed it up. I found myself in territory that I hadn't navigated before: that being the actual isolation move. This is an example of why theory people have to get out in the field. I had read all the theories about isolation, when when it came time to make the move, I ended up not doing it. I'll explain later.
I got home late last night and was tired all day. Luckily, I woke up at 4:15pm, which was just in time to hit the indoor track before it closed. Working out before sarging does seem to make a difference because I was in a great mood the entire night. I talked Colorado out of going to boat to play poker, and he had agreed to come out. At 9pm, I was ready to go out. I called Jason and he said he couldn't or wouldn't go out. Next I called Colorado, and he didn't answer his phone. At that point, I figured Colorado was getting busted up on Partypoker. I figured I'd have to go out by myself so I started to get dressed. Just as I'm ready to walk out the door, Colorado calls me back and he decides to indeed come out.
On the way to Alumni, we see two cute girls driving on Rte 53. Colorado smiled at them. When we saw them get off at Algonquin Rd, I guessed they were probably going to Alumni Club too. I was right and we ended up seeing them in the club. I tell my wing that we should go approach them. As I walk up, he gets scared and leaves so I end up approaching them solo. I make some joke about them following us. As I expected, they gave me this weird look, and then I explain that I had seen them on Rte 53. I then tried my new improved tent opener. I went three all three parts the opener, and then started to talk to them about other stuff. I was angry at Colorado because he showed up later and then bailed again. Had he been a good wing, the set would have probably went better. Instead, I ended up having to get practing with an AMOG situation.
There was some guy across the table that I guess got courage to approach this set when he saw me talking to them. Those girls had been drinking a pitcher at the table for at least 5 mins (yes I violated the 3 sec rule), so he had a chance to approach if he hadn't been chicken. Anyway, he starts talking to the HB6 brunette. A few seconds later he acknowledges me. I immediately go into the cool guy AMOG tactic as it was the only one I could think of at the time. I tell him, "Hey, what's up? You look like a cool guy." He then thought he could intimidate me because he was a few inches taller than me and bigger than me (some muscle but a lot of fat too). He told me something like, "Why don't you get out of here? I know these girls." I knew he was full of shit, and I didn't want to back down so I basically called him on his BS. At that point, I was thinking he might be ready to escalate by threatening me. I was ready with a line I'd read on fastseduction. If he had said he wanted to kick my ass or something, I would have said something like, "I tell you what. Why don't we we have a one arm push up contest? Then after that we could do pose-down." He briefly tried to make some BS joke or threat saying he should grab his gun from his car (his tone of voice was not a threatening one), but then he said something like, "You know I'm just joking about all this."
He gets these girls to play quarters with him. At this point, I started to realize that I was screwed with this set, but I didn't want to back down to this dude so I just hung around. The HB6 brunette was talking to this guy and her friend seemed to be getting bored with my material. Before the quarter game could start, the dude asks me if I have a quarter. I say that I don't because I only carry bills. I told him to go get one. He gets a quarter. Someone loses the quarter when it falls on the floor, and one of this dude's buddies go gets some more quarter. At that point, I felt I was doing well with AMOG tactics.
The dude was persistant and then tries to tool me by passing the quarter by me to keep me out of the game. The bitches decided to play along twice by not letting me have the quarter. Obviously, I have no chance but I still want to hang out and make sure this guy wouldn't score while I was there. I got passed a second time. The third time, the brunette dropped the quarter on the floor. As she went to pick it up, I grabbed it from her and told her not to try that crap with me. Anyway, I find myself back in the stupid quarters game. The next round, the brunette lands the quarter in the cup.
Now this dumb ass had filled the glass that was the target. This nasty quarter that had fallen on the floor was now in the drink and the brunette asked the dude to drink it. He then chugged it. Shortly after, the girls excused themselves to the bathroom. I knew that it was time to leave, but I wanted to still show I wasn't intimidated by this fool, so I shook his hand and told him to take it easy. In retrospect, I'm not sure if helped. I did show him I wasn't scared of him (I made sure to look him right in the eye when I shook his hand). On the other hand, he had tried to tool me in the quarters game, yet I was still saying bye to him. I guess neither of us winded up with that set so mission accomplished.
Well, tonight was the best night of sarging yet for me. No closes, but one definately could have been a number close if I hadn't messed it up. I found myself in territory that I hadn't navigated before: that being the actual isolation move. This is an example of why theory people have to get out in the field. I had read all the theories about isolation, when when it came time to make the move, I ended up not doing it. I'll explain later.
I got home late last night and was tired all day. Luckily, I woke up at 4:15pm, which was just in time to hit the indoor track before it closed. Working out before sarging does seem to make a difference because I was in a great mood the entire night. I talked Colorado out of going to boat to play poker, and he had agreed to come out. At 9pm, I was ready to go out. I called Jason and he said he couldn't or wouldn't go out. Next I called Colorado, and he didn't answer his phone. At that point, I figured Colorado was getting busted up on Partypoker. I figured I'd have to go out by myself so I started to get dressed. Just as I'm ready to walk out the door, Colorado calls me back and he decides to indeed come out.
On the way to Alumni, we see two cute girls driving on Rte 53. Colorado smiled at them. When we saw them get off at Algonquin Rd, I guessed they were probably going to Alumni Club too. I was right and we ended up seeing them in the club. I tell my wing that we should go approach them. As I walk up, he gets scared and leaves so I end up approaching them solo. I make some joke about them following us. As I expected, they gave me this weird look, and then I explain that I had seen them on Rte 53. I then tried my new improved tent opener. I went three all three parts the opener, and then started to talk to them about other stuff. I was angry at Colorado because he showed up later and then bailed again. Had he been a good wing, the set would have probably went better. Instead, I ended up having to get practing with an AMOG situation.
There was some guy across the table that I guess got courage to approach this set when he saw me talking to them. Those girls had been drinking a pitcher at the table for at least 5 mins (yes I violated the 3 sec rule), so he had a chance to approach if he hadn't been chicken. Anyway, he starts talking to the HB6 brunette. A few seconds later he acknowledges me. I immediately go into the cool guy AMOG tactic as it was the only one I could think of at the time. I tell him, "Hey, what's up? You look like a cool guy." He then thought he could intimidate me because he was a few inches taller than me and bigger than me (some muscle but a lot of fat too). He told me something like, "Why don't you get out of here? I know these girls." I knew he was full of shit, and I didn't want to back down so I basically called him on his BS. At that point, I was thinking he might be ready to escalate by threatening me. I was ready with a line I'd read on fastseduction. If he had said he wanted to kick my ass or something, I would have said something like, "I tell you what. Why don't we we have a one arm push up contest? Then after that we could do pose-down." He briefly tried to make some BS joke or threat saying he should grab his gun from his car (his tone of voice was not a threatening one), but then he said something like, "You know I'm just joking about all this."
He gets these girls to play quarters with him. At this point, I started to realize that I was screwed with this set, but I didn't want to back down to this dude so I just hung around. The HB6 brunette was talking to this guy and her friend seemed to be getting bored with my material. Before the quarter game could start, the dude asks me if I have a quarter. I say that I don't because I only carry bills. I told him to go get one. He gets a quarter. Someone loses the quarter when it falls on the floor, and one of this dude's buddies go gets some more quarter. At that point, I felt I was doing well with AMOG tactics.
The dude was persistant and then tries to tool me by passing the quarter by me to keep me out of the game. The bitches decided to play along twice by not letting me have the quarter. Obviously, I have no chance but I still want to hang out and make sure this guy wouldn't score while I was there. I got passed a second time. The third time, the brunette dropped the quarter on the floor. As she went to pick it up, I grabbed it from her and told her not to try that crap with me. Anyway, I find myself back in the stupid quarters game. The next round, the brunette lands the quarter in the cup.
Now this dumb ass had filled the glass that was the target. This nasty quarter that had fallen on the floor was now in the drink and the brunette asked the dude to drink it. He then chugged it. Shortly after, the girls excused themselves to the bathroom. I knew that it was time to leave, but I wanted to still show I wasn't intimidated by this fool, so I shook his hand and told him to take it easy. In retrospect, I'm not sure if helped. I did show him I wasn't scared of him (I made sure to look him right in the eye when I shook his hand). On the other hand, he had tried to tool me in the quarters game, yet I was still saying bye to him. I guess neither of us winded up with that set so mission accomplished.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Overkill:
I went to Alumni Club in Schaumburg on Thursday. Friday night, I hit Barleycorn on Lincoln, and then two places on Division. My game was really weak today, and I think it might be because of inner game. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that I went without working out. All the other times I went out, I went after working out so I felt great. Today, I just didn't feel that confident or full of energy, so I think that might have shown despite me trying hide it. As I went out anyway, I figured I try to make approaches just for the practice. In doing so, I was reminded of when I'd try to put in too many hours playing poker. I'd get burnt out and then I'd end up playing on autopilot. My poker autopilot is probably still profitable in most games, but I always suspected that the diminishing returns hurt me in the long run even more by just getting me sick of playing in general. Still, poker autopilot was probably still profitable most of the time. My sarging autopilot skills are probably just a step above AFCness.
At Barleycorn, I opened a set within 5 minutes of entering the bar. That was probably my fastest open yet. I was thinking that things might be good that night, but the first set was a perfect example of the rest of the evening approaches. I saw two girls standing, so I went up to them. I said, "Hi" and I asked them if the place was always this dead. It was about 10:30, and the place was empty. They said it would fill up later. I then asked what brought them to Barleycorn. They replied that they were on a work outing. I then asked them if they were relaxing or if they were "party girls." I think this was my screwup on this set. One girl answered in a very sarcastic tone, "Yeah, we're party girls." I guess that was the wrong cold read to make. Just after she made that reply, the girls walked away.
At Barleycorn, I made a few other approaches. None of them lasted longer than a minute. I talked to some fat Asian girl who walked away from me after my third question. Jason asked me what happened because he couldn't believe how quickly she had walked away. Another approach fizzled when Jason opened these two blondes and I asked one question and just sat there feeling like an idiot. I'm not exactly sure what happened that set. I guess I phased back to a total AFC after my statement in that set.
Later, I played the part of the idiot wingman for Jason at Bootleggers. He began dancing with this 5 set of 30-something women. The area where they were congregated had a speaker right above so it was very difficult to have a conversation. The only way I could talk to Jason was to yell into his ear and vice versa. Anyway, I could tell he was getting along with them well. I think they wanted me to dance but I just stood there holding up a wall. I might have gotten over most of my fears concerning cold approaches at bars, but I still suck at dancing. I don't know how to dance and when I do dance I'm convinced it doesn't feel right. Some of that is poor inner game, but I've been told several time by female friends that I need to relax and smile more when I do try to dance. I guess I just lack that skill.
If the music hadn't been so loud near this set, I know I could have played a better wingman. I might have crashed and burned, but I would have made a good attempt at conversation. Even with the music blaring, I made several attempts to talk to various members of this group, but it was clear I had no chance for verbal game. I did find out that they were visiting from Texas and were leaving on Sunday. Maybe I gave up too easily with trying to talk to them. I'm not sure. I don't think an isolation move would have been a good move considering I could gain any rapport after yelling only a brief question into their ears.
Jason ended up dancing and grinding with them for most of the night. He felt like he couldn't get anywhere farther because they were married. Still, the two that were most into him kept hugging and kissing him when he was leaving. One woman even said they'd probably be back at Bootleggers tomorrow. I told him that he didn't have to leave on my account. I still feel that he left the bar early because I was clearly bored there. On top of that, there weren't really any sets for me to open there. I had walked through the place several times and found that all the women I could open were on the dance floor. I told him when we left that I was serious that I was willing to stay until close even though I couldn't really sarge and wasn't getting anywhere in that set.
Jason'sNatural game:
On a sidenote, I think Jason has some good potential. He just needs a little work. I think he might have been able to fclose one of the two women that were into him, but he would have had to isolate one of them away from the group. He then could have gotten their phone number and tried to hook up before Sunday. Of course, this wouldn't have been hard to pull off, but I think he should have definitely made an attempt. Sure, the women were married, but those women clearly loved dancing with him, kissing him, and grinding with them. He said he even felt up one set of tits. He had put a hand there by accident, and moved it, and she had moved his hands back on her breasts. When I told him he should have tried to fclose, he said that she had told him several times that she was married. I replied that she might have still been willing to have a ONS with him, but she wanted him to know that he would be committing adultery. I don't know, maybe reading this seduction stuff just has me thinking that this stuff happens more often then it really does. On the other hand, maybe I've gained a real insight into human behavior and this really does happen more than I thought it did.
After we left Bootleggers, I dragged Jason to Clarke's on Belmont (for Idine miles of course!). Here I noticed more of his game that I need to adopt somehow. We got seated at a single table that was in the middle of two other tables. As we were being seated, I noticed two girls sitting at the table to my right. There was a blonde, probably a 6, and a brunette, who might have been a 7, but I didn't get a good look at her. On my left was a HB7.5 blonde with glasses, and guy who I read as being gay. I told myself to greet the girls on the right as I sat down, but I guess tonight's failures made me lose confidence so I didn't. I decided to try to open a few minutes into the set. I tried to say, "Hi" to the group and was ignored. I then tried to get her attention by speaking a little louder, and again the brunette didn't say anything so I gave up. At the same time, Jason was also giving me a look that I should stop as it was clear they didn't want to talk.
Later, the brunette went to the bathroom. The blonde that started to play with her phone. Suddenly, Jason made some comment about a drunk girl behind me. This girl was so drunk that her friends had to drag her out of the restaurant. The HB6 laughed at Jason's comment. He then made a few random comments to her. By making his comment, he had opened the set, where I had failed to open by speaking directly. Jason, though explained, that the brunette just wasn't in a talking mood.
About 5 minutes later, "Opps, I Did It Again" by Britney Spears came on. Jason and the HB7.5 to my left starting singing along and waying their torsos to the music. This got us into some small talk with her and the guy at her table. Jason, though, failed to take advantage of it. By accident, he had opened that set, but didn't proceed. He later said he didn't do anything because he thought she was with her boyfriend. I thought the guy was gay, and my gay radar is pretty accruate. When I read a guy as being gay, I'm almost always right. I then explained that he could have easily found out if he had asked, "How do you two know each other?" I guess I could have done this for him, but again, my game was shitty all night.
My point in discussing Jason is that I think he has decent natural game going. With just a little tweaking, he could easily be at a stage that will take me months to reach. He needs to work on his closing. He also needs to have more confidence with cold approaches, though his game on the dance floor is good enough that he could just close from girls he meets there.
What I like most is his ability to make targets laugh and the comments he makes are just part of his natural personality. I just can't seem to be as funny, at least when it involves girls that are strangers. Sometimes I have that ability with friends, but not when I want to open a set. He also comes off as a party guy who's having a good time at the bar. I need that. I guess if I want to be a party guy I need to relax more and not care what random people think. (Time to watch Fight Club!)
Observing other guy's approaches:
Now that I've read so much theory, I can not only critique Jason, but I can also see what other guys do wrong when they approach. We had gone to that same bar on Division in which we had talked to that set for 40+ minutes last week. It was dead except for a 3set on the top floor. Again, I as my game was weak tonight, I didn't open. On top of that, I've been brave with opening 2 sets, but still haven't opened a 3 or more set. I did notice a guy approach the set. I noticed multiple mistakes he made. First, he only was talking to one of the girls. He ignored the other two. Next, I noticed that he had done what I had been doing until Thursday. He was leaning completely into the girl. After seeing only those two things, I figured he was going to get blown out, and he was within 2 minutes. Silly me, though. I should have opened the set right after he busted out as I could have used his failure as an opener.
Total Approach Count:
It keeps getting harder to keep track of my total approaches. I guess I really should include approaches where I get blown out in 30 seconds or even get totally ignored. I'll call it 10 approaches tonight, so
35 Total Approaches so far
Jealous Girlfriend Opener:
I think it's time for me to actually try this. I tried the "tent" opener again and I'm convinced that one sucks. Still, the girls are receptive when I say that I want a female opinion on something. They then do come up with an answer for the "tent" question. I can imagine how jealous girlfriend might really work. That question definately would generate more thought than "tent." Why am I so reluctant to try an opener that has worked so well for others:
(I'm writing this in the hope that I'd get over my fear of using it)
-I'm afraid that some girl my recognize me using it and call me out. I guess I shouldn't worry about it as I doubt it has been used that much that I'm going to run into this quite frequently. If a girl busts me for using seduction material, I'm can respond in the way that was suggest in mASF. I can say that this material gets a bad name. I'll say that this stuff really about teaching guys not to make obvious mistakes and it teaches us to express our true selves.
-I'm afraid because the opener is two paragraphs long. I can see how this opener would definately not work near a loud dancefloor, but it probably will work at Alumni Club in Schaumburg (there are certain areas where one can easily have a conversation). I'm afraid that a girl might tune me out since the opener is so long and she'll walk away right in the middle of it. I also fear that she might not understand the question if I don't speak loudly enough, or she just doesn't hear part of it.
-Answer: So what? Girls have ignored my regular, "Hi" opener in the past. That stuff is going to happen anyway, so I might as well try a potentially great opener despite the risks.
-The opener just seems weird to me, but I guess that's a reason to use it. Obviously, I should trust a field tested opener over my own feelings. After all, my own thoughts an feelings on dating have lead me to be an total AFC idiot until just a few weeks ago.
I went to Alumni Club in Schaumburg on Thursday. Friday night, I hit Barleycorn on Lincoln, and then two places on Division. My game was really weak today, and I think it might be because of inner game. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that I went without working out. All the other times I went out, I went after working out so I felt great. Today, I just didn't feel that confident or full of energy, so I think that might have shown despite me trying hide it. As I went out anyway, I figured I try to make approaches just for the practice. In doing so, I was reminded of when I'd try to put in too many hours playing poker. I'd get burnt out and then I'd end up playing on autopilot. My poker autopilot is probably still profitable in most games, but I always suspected that the diminishing returns hurt me in the long run even more by just getting me sick of playing in general. Still, poker autopilot was probably still profitable most of the time. My sarging autopilot skills are probably just a step above AFCness.
At Barleycorn, I opened a set within 5 minutes of entering the bar. That was probably my fastest open yet. I was thinking that things might be good that night, but the first set was a perfect example of the rest of the evening approaches. I saw two girls standing, so I went up to them. I said, "Hi" and I asked them if the place was always this dead. It was about 10:30, and the place was empty. They said it would fill up later. I then asked what brought them to Barleycorn. They replied that they were on a work outing. I then asked them if they were relaxing or if they were "party girls." I think this was my screwup on this set. One girl answered in a very sarcastic tone, "Yeah, we're party girls." I guess that was the wrong cold read to make. Just after she made that reply, the girls walked away.
At Barleycorn, I made a few other approaches. None of them lasted longer than a minute. I talked to some fat Asian girl who walked away from me after my third question. Jason asked me what happened because he couldn't believe how quickly she had walked away. Another approach fizzled when Jason opened these two blondes and I asked one question and just sat there feeling like an idiot. I'm not exactly sure what happened that set. I guess I phased back to a total AFC after my statement in that set.
Later, I played the part of the idiot wingman for Jason at Bootleggers. He began dancing with this 5 set of 30-something women. The area where they were congregated had a speaker right above so it was very difficult to have a conversation. The only way I could talk to Jason was to yell into his ear and vice versa. Anyway, I could tell he was getting along with them well. I think they wanted me to dance but I just stood there holding up a wall. I might have gotten over most of my fears concerning cold approaches at bars, but I still suck at dancing. I don't know how to dance and when I do dance I'm convinced it doesn't feel right. Some of that is poor inner game, but I've been told several time by female friends that I need to relax and smile more when I do try to dance. I guess I just lack that skill.
If the music hadn't been so loud near this set, I know I could have played a better wingman. I might have crashed and burned, but I would have made a good attempt at conversation. Even with the music blaring, I made several attempts to talk to various members of this group, but it was clear I had no chance for verbal game. I did find out that they were visiting from Texas and were leaving on Sunday. Maybe I gave up too easily with trying to talk to them. I'm not sure. I don't think an isolation move would have been a good move considering I could gain any rapport after yelling only a brief question into their ears.
Jason ended up dancing and grinding with them for most of the night. He felt like he couldn't get anywhere farther because they were married. Still, the two that were most into him kept hugging and kissing him when he was leaving. One woman even said they'd probably be back at Bootleggers tomorrow. I told him that he didn't have to leave on my account. I still feel that he left the bar early because I was clearly bored there. On top of that, there weren't really any sets for me to open there. I had walked through the place several times and found that all the women I could open were on the dance floor. I told him when we left that I was serious that I was willing to stay until close even though I couldn't really sarge and wasn't getting anywhere in that set.
Jason'sNatural game:
On a sidenote, I think Jason has some good potential. He just needs a little work. I think he might have been able to fclose one of the two women that were into him, but he would have had to isolate one of them away from the group. He then could have gotten their phone number and tried to hook up before Sunday. Of course, this wouldn't have been hard to pull off, but I think he should have definitely made an attempt. Sure, the women were married, but those women clearly loved dancing with him, kissing him, and grinding with them. He said he even felt up one set of tits. He had put a hand there by accident, and moved it, and she had moved his hands back on her breasts. When I told him he should have tried to fclose, he said that she had told him several times that she was married. I replied that she might have still been willing to have a ONS with him, but she wanted him to know that he would be committing adultery. I don't know, maybe reading this seduction stuff just has me thinking that this stuff happens more often then it really does. On the other hand, maybe I've gained a real insight into human behavior and this really does happen more than I thought it did.
After we left Bootleggers, I dragged Jason to Clarke's on Belmont (for Idine miles of course!). Here I noticed more of his game that I need to adopt somehow. We got seated at a single table that was in the middle of two other tables. As we were being seated, I noticed two girls sitting at the table to my right. There was a blonde, probably a 6, and a brunette, who might have been a 7, but I didn't get a good look at her. On my left was a HB7.5 blonde with glasses, and guy who I read as being gay. I told myself to greet the girls on the right as I sat down, but I guess tonight's failures made me lose confidence so I didn't. I decided to try to open a few minutes into the set. I tried to say, "Hi" to the group and was ignored. I then tried to get her attention by speaking a little louder, and again the brunette didn't say anything so I gave up. At the same time, Jason was also giving me a look that I should stop as it was clear they didn't want to talk.
Later, the brunette went to the bathroom. The blonde that started to play with her phone. Suddenly, Jason made some comment about a drunk girl behind me. This girl was so drunk that her friends had to drag her out of the restaurant. The HB6 laughed at Jason's comment. He then made a few random comments to her. By making his comment, he had opened the set, where I had failed to open by speaking directly. Jason, though explained, that the brunette just wasn't in a talking mood.
About 5 minutes later, "Opps, I Did It Again" by Britney Spears came on. Jason and the HB7.5 to my left starting singing along and waying their torsos to the music. This got us into some small talk with her and the guy at her table. Jason, though, failed to take advantage of it. By accident, he had opened that set, but didn't proceed. He later said he didn't do anything because he thought she was with her boyfriend. I thought the guy was gay, and my gay radar is pretty accruate. When I read a guy as being gay, I'm almost always right. I then explained that he could have easily found out if he had asked, "How do you two know each other?" I guess I could have done this for him, but again, my game was shitty all night.
My point in discussing Jason is that I think he has decent natural game going. With just a little tweaking, he could easily be at a stage that will take me months to reach. He needs to work on his closing. He also needs to have more confidence with cold approaches, though his game on the dance floor is good enough that he could just close from girls he meets there.
What I like most is his ability to make targets laugh and the comments he makes are just part of his natural personality. I just can't seem to be as funny, at least when it involves girls that are strangers. Sometimes I have that ability with friends, but not when I want to open a set. He also comes off as a party guy who's having a good time at the bar. I need that. I guess if I want to be a party guy I need to relax more and not care what random people think. (Time to watch Fight Club!)
Observing other guy's approaches:
Now that I've read so much theory, I can not only critique Jason, but I can also see what other guys do wrong when they approach. We had gone to that same bar on Division in which we had talked to that set for 40+ minutes last week. It was dead except for a 3set on the top floor. Again, I as my game was weak tonight, I didn't open. On top of that, I've been brave with opening 2 sets, but still haven't opened a 3 or more set. I did notice a guy approach the set. I noticed multiple mistakes he made. First, he only was talking to one of the girls. He ignored the other two. Next, I noticed that he had done what I had been doing until Thursday. He was leaning completely into the girl. After seeing only those two things, I figured he was going to get blown out, and he was within 2 minutes. Silly me, though. I should have opened the set right after he busted out as I could have used his failure as an opener.
Total Approach Count:
It keeps getting harder to keep track of my total approaches. I guess I really should include approaches where I get blown out in 30 seconds or even get totally ignored. I'll call it 10 approaches tonight, so
35 Total Approaches so far
Jealous Girlfriend Opener:
I think it's time for me to actually try this. I tried the "tent" opener again and I'm convinced that one sucks. Still, the girls are receptive when I say that I want a female opinion on something. They then do come up with an answer for the "tent" question. I can imagine how jealous girlfriend might really work. That question definately would generate more thought than "tent." Why am I so reluctant to try an opener that has worked so well for others:
(I'm writing this in the hope that I'd get over my fear of using it)
-I'm afraid that some girl my recognize me using it and call me out. I guess I shouldn't worry about it as I doubt it has been used that much that I'm going to run into this quite frequently. If a girl busts me for using seduction material, I'm can respond in the way that was suggest in mASF. I can say that this material gets a bad name. I'll say that this stuff really about teaching guys not to make obvious mistakes and it teaches us to express our true selves.
-I'm afraid because the opener is two paragraphs long. I can see how this opener would definately not work near a loud dancefloor, but it probably will work at Alumni Club in Schaumburg (there are certain areas where one can easily have a conversation). I'm afraid that a girl might tune me out since the opener is so long and she'll walk away right in the middle of it. I also fear that she might not understand the question if I don't speak loudly enough, or she just doesn't hear part of it.
-Answer: So what? Girls have ignored my regular, "Hi" opener in the past. That stuff is going to happen anyway, so I might as well try a potentially great opener despite the risks.
-The opener just seems weird to me, but I guess that's a reason to use it. Obviously, I should trust a field tested opener over my own feelings. After all, my own thoughts an feelings on dating have lead me to be an total AFC idiot until just a few weeks ago.
