Monday, February 20, 2006
One Approach & Risk 2210:
We had a Risk day setup. Sidegames was supposed to meet up early, but he never answered his phone. By the time, I was ready to head over to my friend's house, I figured it was too late to start a game before the rest of the crew showed up, so I decided to hit Border's in Oak Park. Since the club's have been lame, and I've been wanting to do day game, I figured this would be a good opportunity.
Travel Section Sarge:
I figured if I was going to hang out at Border's, I might as well read about stuff I find interesting. I decided to check out the guidebooks. I ended up reading the Lonely Planet guide for Myanmar, Iran, and East Africa. I also briefly checked out some guidebooks for Amsterdam and Singapore. While I was sitting and reading the Iran book, this HB7 came a long. I saw her looking for book about Portugal. I knew I needed to open her, but I was feeling major approach anxiety. I stalled, and then decided to get up and make an attempt. I knew I would be really hard on myself if I ended up doing nothing.
I walk over to the shelf. I was on the HB's right. I could feel my heart beating like crazy and I was feeling really nervous. I guess this is what happens when you get out of practice. When I was sarging almost every day, I really did start to lose most of my approach anxiety. I opened her.
Me: Hey. What guidebooks do you recommend?
HB: You mean on Iran?
Me: Well, I mean just in general.
HB: Lonely planet is good, but Frommers (sic?) is good too.
Me: Where are you headed? (pretending I didn't notice she had books on Portugal.)
HB: Portugal.
Me: Do you have the trip all planned?
HB: Yeah, we have it book. I'm just looking mainly for maps.
Me: I'm just killing time. I'm reading about all these strange places I can visit. I was looking at the Myanmar book earlier.
HB: You should try Grenada.
Me: What there to see there?
HB: Beaches and stuff.
Me: So they've recovered from when we invaded them 20 years ago.
HB: Yeah.
Then the conversation stalled, and I just grabbed another book. This was because of my weak frame. This sounds really dumb when I say this now (objectively, and b/c of information I learn later), but I thought she was implying that she was going to Portugal with a boyfriend (fiance or husband even as I couldn't see her ring finger at the time.) Of course, that's really dumb. She would have mentioned that if that were the case (at least with the later two) and if she wanted to blow me off, that would have been a good time to mention something like that. I guess I wasn't feeling comfortable and that's why I let it stall. Of course, I realize now that I easily could have asked her why she want to visit Portugal. I could have asked her where's she's been lately, or what's the most exciting places she's been lately. Most likely, she would have asked me the same, and I could have said that I went to Amsterdam, Florida, and Singapore all in less than a month. I also would have been able to say that I've been to Portugal.
Instead of doing what I knew I should have done, I just let it stall and I grabbed a book about East Africa. I pretended to look at it intently. After a few minutes, she put the books away and walked away. As she walked by, she said something like "Enjoy your trips," and I said, "You too. Take care." I then decided to sit down with my Lonely Planet East Africa book and kill some time.
A few minutes later, she returned with like 2-3 other girls. She showed them some of the books about Portugal, and then said that she's probably just order what she could online. I could tell from the conversation that one of the woman in that group was going to be her companion to Portugal. The other 2 girls left not long after, and these two talked for about 5 minutes. The HB mentioned that she had been to Los Cabos recently and was planning on going again in the fall.
Analysis:
I think I made the most important points above. I should have kept plodding, especially with a girl like this. This girl and I would have had a lot to talk about and this is the type of girl I'd love to hook up with. I took myself out of the game by having bad inner game, and being out of practice. I just need to build from this.
Caribou Coffee:
I stopped by there so I could get a triple espresso to keep me awake for Risk . That place was hopping. I guess it's because Triton College and Concordia University are close. I was feeling down about stalling in the last set, so I didn't really do anything there. Also, I wasn't ready to have an audience. There were no lone wolves, so I would have had to approach a two set at the coffee shop. Also, the place was really quiet, so everyone would have been listening in. Of course, all of these are weak excuses, and I need to get over these things again very soon. I need to get my game in order and then go back there to redeem myself.
Risk 2010 AD:
I know I sound like a dork for mentioning this, but I do enjoy playing Risk. James, DaveWoW, and their Linguistics Roomate played with the Tech Commander and Factions. I ended up getting third choice of factions, so I played a faction that I've played many times. The advantage was that I knew exactly how to play this faction, but I really had been hoping to work with something different. This game ended up lasting five and a half hours. My friend Pat called me at 7Pm. We were in Turn 5, so I told him we'd be done in 30-45 minutes. The last round ended up taking 2 hours!
James will say that I got lucky, but I think I played pretty well. All the effort ended up being worth it b/c I won. That's like the worse possible outcome for James, because he either wants to win, or he wants me to lose. I feel the same way. :) This time, I learned to keep my mouth shut b/c I had made the mistake of explaing my intentions too much. James would always try to rattle me by telling me how bad my moves were at times, and I would try to argue and prove how brilliant they really were. One time, when playing with Sidegames, I convinced James to attack me b/c I proved how smart my move was. Reading "The 48 Rules of Power" convinced me that it's better just to act than to explain. I tried to minimize any explanations and just shrugged when questions. (Kind of what Dimitri says to do with shit tests you get while sarging.) What's even funnier, is that James hurt himself a few times by talking too much. Near the end, I had been convinced I won. I asked if they just wanted to concede, and then he said something that made me realize he had these colony influence cards.
I probably still would have won, but he hurt himself by making me realize that I should use my remaining guys to take out his territories. This way, I would gain a point, and he would lose one. Had he not said anything, I might have tried to take a different approach.
We had a Risk day setup. Sidegames was supposed to meet up early, but he never answered his phone. By the time, I was ready to head over to my friend's house, I figured it was too late to start a game before the rest of the crew showed up, so I decided to hit Border's in Oak Park. Since the club's have been lame, and I've been wanting to do day game, I figured this would be a good opportunity.
Travel Section Sarge:
I figured if I was going to hang out at Border's, I might as well read about stuff I find interesting. I decided to check out the guidebooks. I ended up reading the Lonely Planet guide for Myanmar, Iran, and East Africa. I also briefly checked out some guidebooks for Amsterdam and Singapore. While I was sitting and reading the Iran book, this HB7 came a long. I saw her looking for book about Portugal. I knew I needed to open her, but I was feeling major approach anxiety. I stalled, and then decided to get up and make an attempt. I knew I would be really hard on myself if I ended up doing nothing.
I walk over to the shelf. I was on the HB's right. I could feel my heart beating like crazy and I was feeling really nervous. I guess this is what happens when you get out of practice. When I was sarging almost every day, I really did start to lose most of my approach anxiety. I opened her.
Me: Hey. What guidebooks do you recommend?
HB:
Me: Well, I mean just in general.
HB: Lonely planet is good, but Frommers (sic?) is good too.
Me: Where are you headed? (pretending I didn't notice she had books on Portugal.)
HB: Portugal.
Me: Do you have the trip all planned?
HB: Yeah, we have it book. I'm just looking mainly for maps.
Me: I'm just killing time. I'm reading about all these strange places I can visit. I was looking at the Myanmar book earlier.
HB: You should try Grenada.
Me: What there to see there?
HB: Beaches and stuff.
Me: So they've recovered from when we invaded them 20 years ago.
HB: Yeah.
Then the conversation stalled, and I just grabbed another book. This was because of my weak frame. This sounds really dumb when I say this now (objectively, and b/c of information I learn later), but I thought she was implying that she was going to Portugal with a boyfriend (fiance or husband even as I couldn't see her ring finger at the time.) Of course, that's really dumb. She would have mentioned that if that were the case (at least with the later two) and if she wanted to blow me off, that would have been a good time to mention something like that. I guess I wasn't feeling comfortable and that's why I let it stall. Of course, I realize now that I easily could have asked her why she want to visit Portugal. I could have asked her where's she's been lately, or what's the most exciting places she's been lately. Most likely, she would have asked me the same, and I could have said that I went to Amsterdam, Florida, and Singapore all in less than a month. I also would have been able to say that I've been to Portugal.
Instead of doing what I knew I should have done, I just let it stall and I grabbed a book about East Africa. I pretended to look at it intently. After a few minutes, she put the books away and walked away. As she walked by, she said something like "Enjoy your trips," and I said, "You too. Take care." I then decided to sit down with my Lonely Planet East Africa book and kill some time.
A few minutes later, she returned with like 2-3 other girls. She showed them some of the books about Portugal, and then said that she's probably just order what she could online. I could tell from the conversation that one of the woman in that group was going to be her companion to Portugal. The other 2 girls left not long after, and these two talked for about 5 minutes. The HB mentioned that she had been to Los Cabos recently and was planning on going again in the fall.
Analysis:
I think I made the most important points above. I should have kept plodding, especially with a girl like this. This girl and I would have had a lot to talk about and this is the type of girl I'd love to hook up with. I took myself out of the game by having bad inner game, and being out of practice. I just need to build from this.
Caribou Coffee:
I stopped by there so I could get a triple espresso to keep me awake for Risk . That place was hopping. I guess it's because Triton College and Concordia University are close. I was feeling down about stalling in the last set, so I didn't really do anything there. Also, I wasn't ready to have an audience. There were no lone wolves, so I would have had to approach a two set at the coffee shop. Also, the place was really quiet, so everyone would have been listening in. Of course, all of these are weak excuses, and I need to get over these things again very soon. I need to get my game in order and then go back there to redeem myself.
Risk 2010 AD:
I know I sound like a dork for mentioning this, but I do enjoy playing Risk. James, DaveWoW, and their Linguistics Roomate played with the Tech Commander and Factions. I ended up getting third choice of factions, so I played a faction that I've played many times. The advantage was that I knew exactly how to play this faction, but I really had been hoping to work with something different. This game ended up lasting five and a half hours. My friend Pat called me at 7Pm. We were in Turn 5, so I told him we'd be done in 30-45 minutes. The last round ended up taking 2 hours!
James will say that I got lucky, but I think I played pretty well. All the effort ended up being worth it b/c I won. That's like the worse possible outcome for James, because he either wants to win, or he wants me to lose. I feel the same way. :) This time, I learned to keep my mouth shut b/c I had made the mistake of explaing my intentions too much. James would always try to rattle me by telling me how bad my moves were at times, and I would try to argue and prove how brilliant they really were. One time, when playing with Sidegames, I convinced James to attack me b/c I proved how smart my move was. Reading "The 48 Rules of Power" convinced me that it's better just to act than to explain. I tried to minimize any explanations and just shrugged when questions. (Kind of what Dimitri says to do with shit tests you get while sarging.) What's even funnier, is that James hurt himself a few times by talking too much. Near the end, I had been convinced I won. I asked if they just wanted to concede, and then he said something that made me realize he had these colony influence cards.
I probably still would have won, but he hurt himself by making me realize that I should use my remaining guys to take out his territories. This way, I would gain a point, and he would lose one. Had he not said anything, I might have tried to take a different approach.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Sidegames Mutilates his Passport:
Just when I thought Sidegames had finally straightened himself out, he tells me yesterday that he defaced his passport. I don't know if he cut it up or what, but basically, he mutilated it to the point where he can't use it. He said he wanted to make sure that he couldn't leave the country. (If you haven't been following the Sidegames drama, basically, he thinks he need to straighten up his life by just focusing on work and going to meetings. He considers traveling "fucking up.") He said that if he "fucked up," he wanted to make sure that he would at least stay in the US. As he told me this, I'm sure he realized how stupid he was acting as he joked that he was becoming Puritan. Do I need to say more about this?
Just when I thought Sidegames had finally straightened himself out, he tells me yesterday that he defaced his passport. I don't know if he cut it up or what, but basically, he mutilated it to the point where he can't use it. He said he wanted to make sure that he couldn't leave the country. (If you haven't been following the Sidegames drama, basically, he thinks he need to straighten up his life by just focusing on work and going to meetings. He considers traveling "fucking up.") He said that if he "fucked up," he wanted to make sure that he would at least stay in the US. As he told me this, I'm sure he realized how stupid he was acting as he joked that he was becoming Puritan. Do I need to say more about this?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Messed up Inner Game:
I've been on the last two days and have made a few half-assed attempts at sarging. I can attribute my lack of success to messed up inner game. There is no other explanation. I went out on Valentine's Day to Alumni Club in Schaumburg. In the past, this place has felt like I was playing with home field advantage. I guess part of the reason I didn't feel that way on Tuesday was that I hadn't been there since before New Year's. The cool Russian (well, I found out Tuesday that she's from Ukraine) shot girl is still there. I didn't get to use her as social proof because I didn't see her until it was almost closing time. I also felt like a chump b/c I actually bought a shot off of her. She had only one shot left on her tray and she was pushing it hardcore on me, as usual. I then asked how much they were, and when I found out it was only $2 a shot, I finally decided to relent and buy a drink.
Alumni Club Sets:
I know I was weak when I can only report that I gamed one set. I saw two girls wearing their coats near the dance floor so I busted on them. I said, "It's not that cold in here. You do realize there's a coat check here, don't you?" This HB6.5 Latina responded that they were getting ready to leave. I tried the Magnus Valentine opener of asking her if she got my card. She actually played along a little bit. Then, I tried to vibe with her friend since it was a two set. The friend was from Poland. When I asked her what part of Poland she came from, she gave me attitude. My ex told me today that the girl was probably embarrassed that she was from one of the poor areas. Me ex says she's talk to a lot of Polish girls that are like this.
I talked to a few guys, of course, as that's easy. I saw a three-set near the Golden Tee machine that I should have opened. I just didn't feel like I had the energy to open a large set. I also saw some girl playing with her phone. I made the usual comment, "Did he call yet?" I remembered that she giggled, but then I just ejected. I later saw the phone girl with a friend. I thought about opening them, but I didn't, and later I saw some black dude talking to them. He seemed to be doing pretty well, so maybe that could have been me if I hadn't been so messed up.
Poetry Reading:
My friend Pablo had a poetry reading at this bar in Chicago. In retrospect, I should have used the massive social proof I had from being there with him (he was the feature performer). I guess I'll do that at his next reading. Here, too, I was weak. I saw these two girls that I could have opened, but never did. Instead, I opened up this lone wolf that was next to them. I picked a bad time to opener: the band was playing during a break, and it was hard for her to hear me. I asked her what brought her to the poetry reading, and she said she runs some Latino newspaper and showed me the paper. I then felt like I had bombed out and I ejected. Later, I found out that her boyfriend had died recently and there was an article about him in her paper. (I found that out b/c I believe she was the same girl I saw go up to Pablo at the end of his reading. I heard her talking about her paper and the boyfriend.)
Analysis:
In some ways, I feel like I'm almost back at square one. I think it's just because I'm out of practice and my inner game isn't at a high point right now. When I went up to the woman at the poetry reading, I felt strong anxiety. I also knew I was doing a poor job of sarging her, but it was the best I could muster under the circumstances. I can't be too hard on myself, though. I knew I was being weak at the poetry reading, but I still forced myself to make an approach as I knew that was the only way I could start to get myself out of this.
I think if I go out and force myself to sarge more. I think with a little more practice, I'll be back in action. When I'm being weak, I really know that I could do better. I remember when I've opened sets and held them. I remember how I went out solo two nights in Maui, 4000+ miles from home, and was able to create a small social circle in my two outings. I remember weak I used to be before Ajay's party, and I know I've made big steps. I just have to force myself out of this rut and I think I'll get to the next level.
I've been on the last two days and have made a few half-assed attempts at sarging. I can attribute my lack of success to messed up inner game. There is no other explanation. I went out on Valentine's Day to Alumni Club in Schaumburg. In the past, this place has felt like I was playing with home field advantage. I guess part of the reason I didn't feel that way on Tuesday was that I hadn't been there since before New Year's. The cool Russian (well, I found out Tuesday that she's from Ukraine) shot girl is still there. I didn't get to use her as social proof because I didn't see her until it was almost closing time. I also felt like a chump b/c I actually bought a shot off of her. She had only one shot left on her tray and she was pushing it hardcore on me, as usual. I then asked how much they were, and when I found out it was only $2 a shot, I finally decided to relent and buy a drink.
Alumni Club Sets:
I know I was weak when I can only report that I gamed one set. I saw two girls wearing their coats near the dance floor so I busted on them. I said, "It's not that cold in here. You do realize there's a coat check here, don't you?" This HB6.5 Latina responded that they were getting ready to leave. I tried the Magnus Valentine opener of asking her if she got my card. She actually played along a little bit. Then, I tried to vibe with her friend since it was a two set. The friend was from Poland. When I asked her what part of Poland she came from, she gave me attitude. My ex told me today that the girl was probably embarrassed that she was from one of the poor areas. Me ex says she's talk to a lot of Polish girls that are like this.
I talked to a few guys, of course, as that's easy. I saw a three-set near the Golden Tee machine that I should have opened. I just didn't feel like I had the energy to open a large set. I also saw some girl playing with her phone. I made the usual comment, "Did he call yet?" I remembered that she giggled, but then I just ejected. I later saw the phone girl with a friend. I thought about opening them, but I didn't, and later I saw some black dude talking to them. He seemed to be doing pretty well, so maybe that could have been me if I hadn't been so messed up.
Poetry Reading:
My friend Pablo had a poetry reading at this bar in Chicago. In retrospect, I should have used the massive social proof I had from being there with him (he was the feature performer). I guess I'll do that at his next reading. Here, too, I was weak. I saw these two girls that I could have opened, but never did. Instead, I opened up this lone wolf that was next to them. I picked a bad time to opener: the band was playing during a break, and it was hard for her to hear me. I asked her what brought her to the poetry reading, and she said she runs some Latino newspaper and showed me the paper. I then felt like I had bombed out and I ejected. Later, I found out that her boyfriend had died recently and there was an article about him in her paper. (I found that out b/c I believe she was the same girl I saw go up to Pablo at the end of his reading. I heard her talking about her paper and the boyfriend.)
Analysis:
In some ways, I feel like I'm almost back at square one. I think it's just because I'm out of practice and my inner game isn't at a high point right now. When I went up to the woman at the poetry reading, I felt strong anxiety. I also knew I was doing a poor job of sarging her, but it was the best I could muster under the circumstances. I can't be too hard on myself, though. I knew I was being weak at the poetry reading, but I still forced myself to make an approach as I knew that was the only way I could start to get myself out of this.
I think if I go out and force myself to sarge more. I think with a little more practice, I'll be back in action. When I'm being weak, I really know that I could do better. I remember when I've opened sets and held them. I remember how I went out solo two nights in Maui, 4000+ miles from home, and was able to create a small social circle in my two outings. I remember weak I used to be before Ajay's party, and I know I've made big steps. I just have to force myself out of this rut and I think I'll get to the next level.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Postive to Negative Social Proof:
Okay, I finally have an entry about sarging in my blog that's supposed to be mostly about sarging. I just got back from Coach House on Roselle Rd. There, I just wasn't feeling it, though I did make an effort to be socialable. I chatted with a few cool guys: an older Vietnamese guy, and this guy named Jimmy. He said he grew up in the area but it sounded like he spents some time in Costa Rica. As for girls, I talked to a three set that I opened when I first walked in. One was a cute blonde, HB7.5, the other two were sisters. One had glasses and was a 7, the other was chubby; we'll say HB6. I opened the blonde and somehow ended up talking to the chubby one. I stalled so I ejected and walked around. Later, I opened the set again and talked to the glasses girl. I ran the tent opener on her, but I ejected because I just wasn't feeling it. I talked to a few other girls, but I didn't really hold any sets. It seemed like too many girls were on the dance floor this time.
DaveWow's Birthday:
The evening started at this Italian place just north of Clark & Diversey in the City. I had picked up Pablo and his wife. This turned out to be a small mistake, but it doesn't really bother me. At the party, I had a warm call of a school teacher. Jason's ex was also there. I tried gaming the new school teacher, but she just didn't seem that interesting. When I asked her if she were adventurous, she actually said, "No." Out of all the girls that I've asked that question, none have ever said they weren't adventurous. When I asked her what she did for fun, she took like 20 seconds to come up with the answer that she watched movies. I should have tried to chat more, but I figured I'd do so at the bar.
DaveWow Sees the New Me:
I was in a bar briefly with the crew from dinner. I got to see massive social proof in action with the one set that I opened. When we walked in, I saw some bigger girls sitting by the door. I opened them with a geniune indirect opener. I asked if the place was cool as half of our crew was outside b/c the bouncer hadn't let them in yet. I told them this and they said the place was cool. When they asked about my crew, I pointed to the people that were in: the two female school teachers, DaveWow and his girlfriend. I then pointed to some people outside. I got instant IOI's from these girls. One girl asked me my name right away and I would have kept talking to them if Pablo hadn't called my phone.
People cruising early:
I don't feel so bad about Pablo and his wife wanting to leave as a bunch of our group left after being in the bar only ten minutes. I was going to go back after dropping Pablo and his wife home. I called Dave and he initially said they were going to be out until 3am. When I asked again to verify if they were going out until 3am or only until 1am, he said they were going home soon, so I just told them I was going home. I decided to go out sarging on my own since I was already dressed. I had a decision to make: go to Alumni Club or Coach House. I figured Coach might be better since Alumni starts to drain out around 1:30am.
Lessons:
I need to make sure I go out at least three times a week. I could tell I lost some of my game since I haven't been practicing. I'm still proud of myself as I talked to people. Also, the fact that I seem so different at the bar to people who don't know my new personality gives me confidence. When I actually am out a long time for the next birthday, they'll really see the difference.
I'm looking forward to day game tomorrow. Because I didn't do so well at the club, I want to practice day game. I am feeling like day game might be both better and easier. The theory is that the girls there don't necessarily go to clubs. The ones at the clubs have their shields up, while girls at the bookstore of the coffee shop won't be as defensive (unless they are 10's of course). I also feel like my game is useless in at least half of most clubs as girls can't hear me. It's a pain in the ass to have to yell and the game doesn't run as good when it's hard to have a conversation. At the coffee shop, I know the girl will be able to hear me. I just have to go out there and sarge later today.
Okay, I finally have an entry about sarging in my blog that's supposed to be mostly about sarging. I just got back from Coach House on Roselle Rd. There, I just wasn't feeling it, though I did make an effort to be socialable. I chatted with a few cool guys: an older Vietnamese guy, and this guy named Jimmy. He said he grew up in the area but it sounded like he spents some time in Costa Rica. As for girls, I talked to a three set that I opened when I first walked in. One was a cute blonde, HB7.5, the other two were sisters. One had glasses and was a 7, the other was chubby; we'll say HB6. I opened the blonde and somehow ended up talking to the chubby one. I stalled so I ejected and walked around. Later, I opened the set again and talked to the glasses girl. I ran the tent opener on her, but I ejected because I just wasn't feeling it. I talked to a few other girls, but I didn't really hold any sets. It seemed like too many girls were on the dance floor this time.
DaveWow's Birthday:
The evening started at this Italian place just north of Clark & Diversey in the City. I had picked up Pablo and his wife. This turned out to be a small mistake, but it doesn't really bother me. At the party, I had a warm call of a school teacher. Jason's ex was also there. I tried gaming the new school teacher, but she just didn't seem that interesting. When I asked her if she were adventurous, she actually said, "No." Out of all the girls that I've asked that question, none have ever said they weren't adventurous. When I asked her what she did for fun, she took like 20 seconds to come up with the answer that she watched movies. I should have tried to chat more, but I figured I'd do so at the bar.
DaveWow Sees the New Me:
I was in a bar briefly with the crew from dinner. I got to see massive social proof in action with the one set that I opened. When we walked in, I saw some bigger girls sitting by the door. I opened them with a geniune indirect opener. I asked if the place was cool as half of our crew was outside b/c the bouncer hadn't let them in yet. I told them this and they said the place was cool. When they asked about my crew, I pointed to the people that were in: the two female school teachers, DaveWow and his girlfriend. I then pointed to some people outside. I got instant IOI's from these girls. One girl asked me my name right away and I would have kept talking to them if Pablo hadn't called my phone.
People cruising early:
I don't feel so bad about Pablo and his wife wanting to leave as a bunch of our group left after being in the bar only ten minutes. I was going to go back after dropping Pablo and his wife home. I called Dave and he initially said they were going to be out until 3am. When I asked again to verify if they were going out until 3am or only until 1am, he said they were going home soon, so I just told them I was going home. I decided to go out sarging on my own since I was already dressed. I had a decision to make: go to Alumni Club or Coach House. I figured Coach might be better since Alumni starts to drain out around 1:30am.
Lessons:
I need to make sure I go out at least three times a week. I could tell I lost some of my game since I haven't been practicing. I'm still proud of myself as I talked to people. Also, the fact that I seem so different at the bar to people who don't know my new personality gives me confidence. When I actually am out a long time for the next birthday, they'll really see the difference.
I'm looking forward to day game tomorrow. Because I didn't do so well at the club, I want to practice day game. I am feeling like day game might be both better and easier. The theory is that the girls there don't necessarily go to clubs. The ones at the clubs have their shields up, while girls at the bookstore of the coffee shop won't be as defensive (unless they are 10's of course). I also feel like my game is useless in at least half of most clubs as girls can't hear me. It's a pain in the ass to have to yell and the game doesn't run as good when it's hard to have a conversation. At the coffee shop, I know the girl will be able to hear me. I just have to go out there and sarge later today.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Spending time with the Ex:
I haven't been sarging at all since I've gotten back. I've also been spending too much time with the ex. Tonight, I was reminded of one of the reasons we broke up. She was bitching like crazy and was pissing me off.
The Killing Fields:
I watched this movie for the first time today. I remember reading an article a few weeks ago about how the trail of former Khmer Rouge leaders was set to begin this year. After reading that article, I decided I wanted to watch this movie so I could get a feel for the history of Cambodia. Prior to watching the film, all I knew about Cambodia was as follows. First, I knew that it is now a very poor country. Because Sidegames had visited their with his ex fianance, I also knew that the temples of Angkor Wat are located there. As for the Khmer Rouge, I knew that was the name of the party that ruled Cambodia around the time of the Vietnam War. I also knew that the leader was named Pol Pot and that the group had committed atrocities.
By watching this move, I learned what the chain of events were that lead to the Khmer Rouge takeover. I also learned more about the atrocities committed by the Khmer Rouge. After seeing the movie, I was motivated to learn more about Cambodia. I learned that the Khmer Rouge were eventually overthrown when Vietnam invaded in 1979.
As for the atrocities, I believe this story is the most moving one I've read in my brief web search tonight. The scene that the author portrays seems almost unbelievable. Unfortunately, it has been a scene that has been repeated throughout the 20th Century and I understand that there is killing even now in parts of Africa.
I'll say that just like visiting the Anne Frank House, a night with this movie has given me a better appreciation for life. When I get pissed over stupid things or feel approach anxiety while sarging, I need to remember to appreciate the gift of life as I know it. Sure, I wish I could have a better life, but I need to remember that I'm lucky to not have to suffer like these people have. I need to remember that their are billions of people who probably would want to live my life, or anyone's life here in the US.
I haven't been sarging at all since I've gotten back. I've also been spending too much time with the ex. Tonight, I was reminded of one of the reasons we broke up. She was bitching like crazy and was pissing me off.
The Killing Fields:
I watched this movie for the first time today. I remember reading an article a few weeks ago about how the trail of former Khmer Rouge leaders was set to begin this year. After reading that article, I decided I wanted to watch this movie so I could get a feel for the history of Cambodia. Prior to watching the film, all I knew about Cambodia was as follows. First, I knew that it is now a very poor country. Because Sidegames had visited their with his ex fianance, I also knew that the temples of Angkor Wat are located there. As for the Khmer Rouge, I knew that was the name of the party that ruled Cambodia around the time of the Vietnam War. I also knew that the leader was named Pol Pot and that the group had committed atrocities.
By watching this move, I learned what the chain of events were that lead to the Khmer Rouge takeover. I also learned more about the atrocities committed by the Khmer Rouge. After seeing the movie, I was motivated to learn more about Cambodia. I learned that the Khmer Rouge were eventually overthrown when Vietnam invaded in 1979.
As for the atrocities, I believe this story is the most moving one I've read in my brief web search tonight. The scene that the author portrays seems almost unbelievable. Unfortunately, it has been a scene that has been repeated throughout the 20th Century and I understand that there is killing even now in parts of Africa.
I'll say that just like visiting the Anne Frank House, a night with this movie has given me a better appreciation for life. When I get pissed over stupid things or feel approach anxiety while sarging, I need to remember to appreciate the gift of life as I know it. Sure, I wish I could have a better life, but I need to remember that I'm lucky to not have to suffer like these people have. I need to remember that their are billions of people who probably would want to live my life, or anyone's life here in the US.
Back to Work:
I finally played again after an extremely long break. I was motivated by the desire to go on more trips. There's a ridiculous $577 fare to the Philippines that I can't take advantage of because I've spent too much money lately. That fact was enough to motivate me. I worked for two and a half hours. Then, my T-mobile internet lost connections and I could reconnect so I went to sleep. I don't even know if I won or lost. I probably broke about even, though it's also likely that I lost. No big deal though. I just need to make sure I start putting in the hours like I used to.
I finally played again after an extremely long break. I was motivated by the desire to go on more trips. There's a ridiculous $577 fare to the Philippines that I can't take advantage of because I've spent too much money lately. That fact was enough to motivate me. I worked for two and a half hours. Then, my T-mobile internet lost connections and I could reconnect so I went to sleep. I don't even know if I won or lost. I probably broke about even, though it's also likely that I lost. No big deal though. I just need to make sure I start putting in the hours like I used to.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Suicide on UA 209:
In the UA forum on Flyertalk, someone post this thread about UA209 being diverted to DEN because a man committed suicide in the lavatory (apparently by hanging himself). As I say in the thread, I feel sorry for the guy, but I also feel sorry for the people who had to discover this morbid scene. A friend of mine, CozDad, we'll call him, once told me a story about how he once discovered a guy who had hung himself. He described the scene in detail. I remember him saying something like, "If you're going to kill yourself, fine, but don't do it in a way that's going to scar the people that find you." He then told me that if he ever killed himself, he'd just get drunk and swim out into the ocean and he'd just drown out there. As I say in the thread, the flight attendants who discovered this guy are always going to remember how they found the body hanging in the lavatory.
I've suffered from depression myself in the past and I have thought about ending it all, but luckily I never went through with it. I really think my cat Oliver has been a huge help in preventing me from ever feeling that depressed again. Ever since I've had him, I've never felt as down as I had several times before I got him in 2001. By working out, practicing my game, purging negative thoughts, and maintaining a positive outlook in life, I hope to never suffer from depression again.
Edit:
More details here. He seems like a troubled man.
In the UA forum on Flyertalk, someone post this thread about UA209 being diverted to DEN because a man committed suicide in the lavatory (apparently by hanging himself). As I say in the thread, I feel sorry for the guy, but I also feel sorry for the people who had to discover this morbid scene. A friend of mine, CozDad, we'll call him, once told me a story about how he once discovered a guy who had hung himself. He described the scene in detail. I remember him saying something like, "If you're going to kill yourself, fine, but don't do it in a way that's going to scar the people that find you." He then told me that if he ever killed himself, he'd just get drunk and swim out into the ocean and he'd just drown out there. As I say in the thread, the flight attendants who discovered this guy are always going to remember how they found the body hanging in the lavatory.
I've suffered from depression myself in the past and I have thought about ending it all, but luckily I never went through with it. I really think my cat Oliver has been a huge help in preventing me from ever feeling that depressed again. Ever since I've had him, I've never felt as down as I had several times before I got him in 2001. By working out, practicing my game, purging negative thoughts, and maintaining a positive outlook in life, I hope to never suffer from depression again.
Edit:
More details here. He seems like a troubled man.
Midway-Denver, Here I come!
I just found an amazing promotion on the Mileage Run forum on Flyertalk. I had read about the Denver promotion on the UA site, but I never really looked at the terms b/c I figured it couldn't be that good. After reading this thread on Flyertalk, I realized how good this deal really is. I priced out MDW-DEN and it's $177. I can return the same day do and I believe I can fly three roundtrips in one day. Here's the breakdown on expenses and miles if I fly do this promotion:
$1416.80-total price of 8 round trips. I'd think it would be less than that if I booked it in the near future. I'd get $25 off for this certificate I got for signing up for a Mileage Plus Debit Card. I also can get 15% off a flight and possibly 5% of a flight depending on when these electronic certificates I have expire or expired.
Edit: After playing with Flying Fish, I guess I miscalculated the miles here.
Fixed:
14320 EQM
3580 premier bonus
90,000 promotion bonus:
107,900 total Redeemable Miles (RDM)
The actualy miles would be a few thousand more as get miles from the online booking bonus and the Easy Check-in Online. That's a sick amount of miles. I'd have enough miles to fly F to Europe again. If I had the money lying around, I'd book it right now, but I have to earn some dough since I've blown a lot the last month.
Sarging:
I need to get out there and practice my skills. I know I'm going out for sure on Saturday for DaveWoW's birthday. I'd like to go out at least once on my own before that so I could practice my skills before that day. Chances are that Dave will want to go to Lion's Head Pub/The Apartment for the after dinner festivities. I'll really get to see how much my game has improved as I can compare Saturday's sarging to when I was there for Ajay's birthday in late October. On that outing, I barely was able to make two or three real approaches and they were very weak since I was just starting out. This time I should be able to make a ton of approaches as I've made huge improvements to my game. I expect that I really should be able to make a few #closes as well. I expect that everyone except Jason & Pablo (if he comes) will be shocked at how easily and often I'll approach women now.
I just found an amazing promotion on the Mileage Run forum on Flyertalk. I had read about the Denver promotion on the UA site, but I never really looked at the terms b/c I figured it couldn't be that good. After reading this thread on Flyertalk, I realized how good this deal really is. I priced out MDW-DEN and it's $177. I can return the same day do and I believe I can fly three roundtrips in one day. Here's the breakdown on expenses and miles if I fly do this promotion:
$1416.80-total price of 8 round trips. I'd think it would be less than that if I booked it in the near future. I'd get $25 off for this certificate I got for signing up for a Mileage Plus Debit Card. I also can get 15% off a flight and possibly 5% of a flight depending on when these electronic certificates I have expire or expired.
Edit: After playing with Flying Fish, I guess I miscalculated the miles here.
Fixed:
14320 EQM
3580 premier bonus
90,000 promotion bonus:
107,900 total Redeemable Miles (RDM)
The actualy miles would be a few thousand more as get miles from the online booking bonus and the Easy Check-in Online. That's a sick amount of miles. I'd have enough miles to fly F to Europe again. If I had the money lying around, I'd book it right now, but I have to earn some dough since I've blown a lot the last month.
Sarging:
I need to get out there and practice my skills. I know I'm going out for sure on Saturday for DaveWoW's birthday. I'd like to go out at least once on my own before that so I could practice my skills before that day. Chances are that Dave will want to go to Lion's Head Pub/The Apartment for the after dinner festivities. I'll really get to see how much my game has improved as I can compare Saturday's sarging to when I was there for Ajay's birthday in late October. On that outing, I barely was able to make two or three real approaches and they were very weak since I was just starting out. This time I should be able to make a ton of approaches as I've made huge improvements to my game. I expect that I really should be able to make a few #closes as well. I expect that everyone except Jason & Pablo (if he comes) will be shocked at how easily and often I'll approach women now.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Reframe: Not Getting pissed:
Kid kicks me awake on my NRT-LAX Flight:
I couldn't get much sleep on my NRT-LAX flight because a 3-4 year old kid was sitting next to me. Several times I dozed off only to be awoken by the kid kicking me in the leg or by the kid being unable to sit still. To be fair, there were several times when he was sleeping and he was behaved most of the time. He just happened to be restless at the time when I was finally falling asleep. I remember the third time he woke me. I got this pissed of look on my face and I could feel the anger starting to stir inside of me. I wanted to say something. I considered talking to the kid, but I knew that wouldn't do any good. Then I thought about asking the mother to do something about this problem. Before I could get pissed, I was able to reframe my thinking.
First, I told myself that I had to remember what Raaf said and I had to purge the negative thoughts from my head. I then reminded myself that I was a kid too and there were times when I was restless and annoying. This kid was only 4 years old, and he really did behave most of the time, at least as much as a young child can on an airplane. It's not like he was running down the aisles, throwing stuff, or being loud. He just was restless when I happened to be falling sleep. I then decided that if I couldn't sleep, it was fine. I could read, or watch a DVD. (I ended up watching the rest of Lord of War.) Besides, I didn't want to get too much sleep because I wanted to be tired enough to go to bed around 2-3 am here. After I thought of all the ways I could reframe my thinking, I honestly did feel better and the anger dissipated.
Discussion:
Raaf's technique has been working well for me. I find that I don't get pissed over stupid stuff anymore. Even when stuff bothers me, I find that so far, I've been able to talk myself out of being mad. I do my best to view the setback or problem as an opportunity. Even if I can't frame it as a genuine opportunity, I can at least convince myself that it's an extremely minor problem when viewed against all the stuff that happens in my lifetime. I'll even use what Seamas dismissed as the "Jonah mentality." I don't remember the specific example Seamas and I had discussed, but I remember saying that I could reframe that setback as "the world testing me." Instead of breaking, I would grow stronger by enduring this setback so I could handle even better setbacks in the future. I remember saying that the attitude is similar for bad streaks in poker. Pros should welcome bad streaks not only b/c it helps you to improve your game, or it's good for a pro to lose b/c the streaks are what keeps the fishes hooked, but also b/c you'll learn to handle the bigger and longer streaks in the future.
I think Seamas is right that certain things really can't be view as legitimate opportunities. I argue that you still can't let yourself get pissed. That's not productive. Instead, you have to use the "Jonah mentality." I told Seamas that he dismissed it too quickly because it reminded him of that Jonah story where Jonah deals with all the hardship stoically b/c they are tests from God. I sometimes reframe setbacks by telling myself that it's good this bad stuff is happening to me. I'm being given an opportunity to test how strongly I can hold my frame. This is preparing me for worse things that'll happen in the future, and even if I do break my frame, I'll learn how to hold my frame stronger in the future too. Notice that I'm not viewing the hardships as tests from God. I really believe that they are random events, but I believe that you have to force yourself to get stronger from them. It's surely better than getting pissed, frustrated or depressed about something. I've gone down that path again and it leads to nowhere except more misery.
Even if you can't use the Jonah reframe, I still think you can view the setbacks in contrast with other traumatic events in your life, or other possible worse things that could happen to you. If something minor is bothering you, it should be obvious that worse things have happened and will happen to you, so you shouldn't sweat a minor thing. Even if the event is extremely traumatic, there probably are worse things than you survived. If the event is the worst thing that has ever happened to you, you could try to reframe it by looking at even worse things that could have happened to you. Let's use the example of your house burning down. If it's only property damage, you can at least be happy that no one got hurt. If people got hurt, be happy that they didn't die or that you're still alive. As I said in my Amsterdam report, you can even compare traumatic events to horrible things world events. I do realize that really traumatic events are impossible to reframe as easily as I make it sound in these examples. It might take years to recover from a true tragedy. With that in mind, you should find it much easier to reframe minor annoyances and setbacks that happen in life.
Things could be worse and it's more productive to view a setback an opportunity than to lead yourself to more misery.
Kid kicks me awake on my NRT-LAX Flight:
I couldn't get much sleep on my NRT-LAX flight because a 3-4 year old kid was sitting next to me. Several times I dozed off only to be awoken by the kid kicking me in the leg or by the kid being unable to sit still. To be fair, there were several times when he was sleeping and he was behaved most of the time. He just happened to be restless at the time when I was finally falling asleep. I remember the third time he woke me. I got this pissed of look on my face and I could feel the anger starting to stir inside of me. I wanted to say something. I considered talking to the kid, but I knew that wouldn't do any good. Then I thought about asking the mother to do something about this problem. Before I could get pissed, I was able to reframe my thinking.
First, I told myself that I had to remember what Raaf said and I had to purge the negative thoughts from my head. I then reminded myself that I was a kid too and there were times when I was restless and annoying. This kid was only 4 years old, and he really did behave most of the time, at least as much as a young child can on an airplane. It's not like he was running down the aisles, throwing stuff, or being loud. He just was restless when I happened to be falling sleep. I then decided that if I couldn't sleep, it was fine. I could read, or watch a DVD. (I ended up watching the rest of Lord of War.) Besides, I didn't want to get too much sleep because I wanted to be tired enough to go to bed around 2-3 am here. After I thought of all the ways I could reframe my thinking, I honestly did feel better and the anger dissipated.
Discussion:
Raaf's technique has been working well for me. I find that I don't get pissed over stupid stuff anymore. Even when stuff bothers me, I find that so far, I've been able to talk myself out of being mad. I do my best to view the setback or problem as an opportunity. Even if I can't frame it as a genuine opportunity, I can at least convince myself that it's an extremely minor problem when viewed against all the stuff that happens in my lifetime. I'll even use what Seamas dismissed as the "Jonah mentality." I don't remember the specific example Seamas and I had discussed, but I remember saying that I could reframe that setback as "the world testing me." Instead of breaking, I would grow stronger by enduring this setback so I could handle even better setbacks in the future. I remember saying that the attitude is similar for bad streaks in poker. Pros should welcome bad streaks not only b/c it helps you to improve your game, or it's good for a pro to lose b/c the streaks are what keeps the fishes hooked, but also b/c you'll learn to handle the bigger and longer streaks in the future.
I think Seamas is right that certain things really can't be view as legitimate opportunities. I argue that you still can't let yourself get pissed. That's not productive. Instead, you have to use the "Jonah mentality." I told Seamas that he dismissed it too quickly because it reminded him of that Jonah story where Jonah deals with all the hardship stoically b/c they are tests from God. I sometimes reframe setbacks by telling myself that it's good this bad stuff is happening to me. I'm being given an opportunity to test how strongly I can hold my frame. This is preparing me for worse things that'll happen in the future, and even if I do break my frame, I'll learn how to hold my frame stronger in the future too. Notice that I'm not viewing the hardships as tests from God. I really believe that they are random events, but I believe that you have to force yourself to get stronger from them. It's surely better than getting pissed, frustrated or depressed about something. I've gone down that path again and it leads to nowhere except more misery.
Even if you can't use the Jonah reframe, I still think you can view the setbacks in contrast with other traumatic events in your life, or other possible worse things that could happen to you. If something minor is bothering you, it should be obvious that worse things have happened and will happen to you, so you shouldn't sweat a minor thing. Even if the event is extremely traumatic, there probably are worse things than you survived. If the event is the worst thing that has ever happened to you, you could try to reframe it by looking at even worse things that could have happened to you. Let's use the example of your house burning down. If it's only property damage, you can at least be happy that no one got hurt. If people got hurt, be happy that they didn't die or that you're still alive. As I said in my Amsterdam report, you can even compare traumatic events to horrible things world events. I do realize that really traumatic events are impossible to reframe as easily as I make it sound in these examples. It might take years to recover from a true tragedy. With that in mind, you should find it much easier to reframe minor annoyances and setbacks that happen in life.
Things could be worse and it's more productive to view a setback an opportunity than to lead yourself to more misery.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Sarging Isn't Just picking Up Girls:
I'm posting this while I wait for my flight in SIN. Free high speed internet rocks!
Introduction:
I've told Seamas several times that sarging isn't just "picking up girls." It's a whole new way of looking at life and of living (or reframing life). I didn't any real sarging here in SIN. When I go on these short trips I feel that there's no real point. I know I should approach for practice and to just be social, but several things are preventing me from being completely "on" all the time. I recognize that these are self-limiting beliefs and I hope to minimize their impact on my actions in the future. First, on the journey over to SIN I was exhausted b/c I had only gotten 1.5 hours sleep before I left. On the ORD-LAX trip, I talked briefly with my seatmate. She was a cute older woman with a wedding ring (who was traveling with a guy with a church position of "Brother" for some denomination) so I knew nothing could happen. Still, I wasn't too tired, so I talked to her for a bit, plus I was motivated since she was cute. In the later legs, I got more tired and didn't have any good looking females near me. On the NRT-SIN leg, there was an HB5-6 behind me (30+) that I probably should have sarged. She was probably going to SIN and was alone, so there were possibilities there, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I hinted at factor two above. Part of the reason I didn't really sarge in Amsterdam or in Singapore was b/c I was there for 2 days. I know that I have no chance for a Day 2 unless I can sarge someone the first day. The only real chance of a successful sarge is if the woman happens to live in Chicago or nearby, or realistically, if I can pull a one-night stand. By this time next year, I hope to have developed enough skills for that to be a real possibility. Again, this is a self-limiting belief, and I should still try for a ONS or just try to sarge even though I likely won't be successful, but I just didn't feel motivated enough. I was more excited about seeing the city than worrying about actual sarging.
Sarging While Waiting for the Parade:
Polish lady:
On Saturday night, there was a parade for Chinese New Years on Orchard Road. It has an official name that I can't think of right now. The newspaper had said it was supposed to start at 8PM. I rolled in just after eight and it still hadn't started . I managed to grab an open spot next to a fence. I'll admit that I grabbed the spot both because it was open and because it happened to be next to a blonde. It turns out she wasn't that hot, was older, and was married, but I was still glad I chose that spot. I didn't immediately open her. Instead, I opened this local guy next to me. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I asked the guy next to me when the parade was supposed to start and if it was going to pass by this spot. Just about a half block to my left was a stage area for ticket holders. I later found out that tickets for that area cost Sin$50. There was some live entertainment there and I was starting to wonder if I had chosen a spot past the end of the parade.
The guy ended up not being able to understand me so I decided to open the blonde. Right before I did, I heard them speaking a foreign language. I initially guessed that it was Polish. I should have been sure as I've heard my ex speak Polish a ton of times, but I speculated that it might have been Russian. Quick run down of the opener. (Nothing to learn here except the overall message of this post, and that it was funny how we met in SIN.)
At the same time, we asked each other where we were from.
Polishlady: I'm originally from Poland but we're from the US.
Me: Hehe. I thought you were speaking Polish. as my ex girlfriend is Polish. I'm from Chicago.
Polish: Really? So are we.
Me: That's funny. I'm actually from X suburb.
Polish: I'm from Y (Y is about two towns west of me.)
Me: That's amazing that we run into each other all the way out here in SIN.
I chatted with her on and off. The only thing I should have done different was e-mail close her and her husband. He had a digital camera and I would have been interested in seeing their pics but for some reason I didn't try to close them. The whole time, though, I thought about how cool it would have been if my ex had been there with me as they all would have immediately bonded.
Columbian hottie:
The Polish lady and I were growing concerned about the parade when it was past 9PM and it still hadn't started. I decided to ask someone else about the parade since Polish didn't know anything about it, and the local guy next to me couldn't understand me. I opened this guy that was standing right behind me. He spoke decent English, but this young hottie HB7.5+ (probably an 8) was the one who took over the conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to see her as I didn't even realize she had been standing behind me. I later found out that they were all originally from Columbia. (Sidenote: I noticed right away that they were speaking Spanish to each other. Their accent was such that I found them easy to understand. Of course, my Spanish is very rusty so I couldn't fully understand them, but this is in stark contrast to the Mexicans I hear in Chicago. I could never understand the Mexicans that worked in the pizza places I worked at when I was younger.) The older guy and his wife were the HB's uncle and aunt. This young boy was their sun, and her cousin.
I definitely should have made a real attempt at sarging this HB. I talked to her on and off but I should have run real game on her. I had opened the set great with genuine indirect. I was cool with the relatives and I easily could have kept talking to her with no disruptions from them. I noticed this the few times we did engage in conversation. I guess I didn't run game for the reasons I listed in the introduction. Also, the parade started about 10 minutes after I opened the set, so I focused on that instead of chatting with her.
This is going to be another excuse, but I think this is partially real. Later on, when my game is great, this factor won't matter. Right now, though I felt weird running my standard game. How would I suddenly ask her if she'd date a guy in a tent? Well, that's what I was thinking when I was talking to her. Even now, I realize that I was indulging in a totally self-limiting belief. I easily could have brought that into the conversation and ran game on her. Dumb me :(
No reservations? No problem!
I have to thank Flyertalkers for recommending Jiang-Nan Chun. For those that don't know, it's a restaurant on the second floor of the Four Seasons Hotel in Singapore. On Saturday and Sunday, they offer brunch. It's all-you-can-eat but it's not a buffet. Instead, you order whatever you want from the menu. The only thing that's limited is shark fin soup. You can have one bowl of that. (Sidenote: I wasn't that impressed with Shark Fin soup. It was good, but it didn't do anything for me. I definitely wouldn't pay Singapore$30 for a bowl a la carte.) The food was great and the all-you-can-eat aspect is ridiculous. I was so stuffed afterwards. If I had ordered the stuff a la carte for the menu prices, I would have spent over Singapore$120.
The only reason I was able to get in was because of the confidence I've learned from developing my game. I never made a reservations even though I heard that it would have been a good idea to make one. On top of that, I was running late gathering my bags, so I didn't get checked out of my hotel until 12:35PM and 2nd Seating started at 1PM. The cab got me there like three minutes before 1PM. I figured I might be SOL so I walked up and said that I had a reservation under my name. When they couldn't find it, I said that my friend had booked the trip. He ended up not coming but he gave me the info about this place. The lady then had me check the reservation list for my friend's name. I felt like I had two things going with my approach to getting in. First, my friend legitimately could have made a reservation and thing could have gotten messed up. He might have booked the wrong day or it might have gotten lost. I told them that he very well might have messed it up, but I never wavered on the point that I really believed that he had made a reservation.
She told me a few times that they were sold out, but instead of walking away like I would have in the past, I was persistent. I wasn't rude or anything. I was very polite, and but I kept trying to get her to work with me. I remember saying stuff like, "What can you do for me?" I repeated my story that I really believed that my friend had made a reservation. When things were looking dim, I even asked if she could recommend another dim sung buffet type place.
At one point, the woman had to attend to the other people that really had reservations. This male employee came up and asked if I needed help. I tried the "sob story" angle on him. I used part of a method that's described in "The 48 Rules of Power." I played on the real story of Sidegames canceling his trip to sell my BS story. I told him that my friend had booked the plane tickets, hotel, and had told me I had reservations at this brunch. I told him that the trip sucked from the beginning b/c my friend had cancelled at the last minute and had left me to go on my own. I said this was hard b/c he had done all the planning and it's boring to go by yourself. I said that I had heard that this restaurant was great and I really wanted to try it. I asked him if he could get me in. I said, "Sit me anywhere, at the bar, or wherever. I'd really like to get in here." I repeated that my friend had made a reservation. I said I was mad at him about the cancellation and I was going to be even more mad about this screw-up. The guy seemed sympathetic, but before he could say anything the woman came by and said she'd seat me in a few minutes.
Score, but how much of it was skilz?
(My blog entry got cut short as I had to board my plane. I've now been home for about 5 hours am I finishing this entry now.) I know my confidence definitely played a role in me getting in, but luck did play a factor. Also, I think the woman was on to my scam. At the end of the meal, she asked me if I had enjoyed the meal. I said it was great and she asked me how I heard of the place. I didn't realize the woman asking was the one who had seated me. I originally thought it one of the servers. I replied that I had heard of it through this Flyertalk website. She then said that if I come again, I should make sure to call her as I wouldn't have gotten in if the table hadn't cancelled. I guess she was on to my BS and I confirmed her suspicions by not sticking to my story. No harm done, except that I would have felt better if I had stuck to my story and not be "outed."
If anyone reading this goes to Singapore (which I recommend), you should definitely eat at Jiang-Nan Chun. Just make sure you make a reservation. No matter how well I sarged, if the one reservation hadn't cancelled, I would have been SOL. The dining room is small and every table was filled when I was there. I kind of felt bad having a table all to myself when I knew they could have fit a family there instead.
Airport Sarging:
SHB spotted:
I saw a 9.5 Monday on my LAX-DEN flight. She was a tall blonde, at least 6 feet tall, with a nice thin body with nice curves. Like the model brunette I saw in Maui, she was wearing sunglasses that appeared to be Cartier. I know I tend to overrate this type of girl as this is totally my type, but I think she legitimately was a 9.5+. I'm sure she fits the SHB profile and negs would be necessary to sarge her. I didn't talk to her as I saw her just as I was boarding, plus I looked like shit as I was 18+ hours into my traveling.
Creating situational openers:
I've been making the effort to use good situational openers when I see the opportunity. In the past, I'd think of a good way to open a girl, and then I wouldn't say anything. I do notice that since I'm more social in general, I find it easy to make these situational comments now. Today was a great example as I was really tired and I knew I looked like shit, but I still opened her.
I had gastrointestinal distress, probably from drinking plane water, so I got to the gate late. Boarding was already open to all seating groups. This reinforced how important the perk of early boarding is for me as a Premier member. I love being one of the first people on the plane and I really had forgotten how much it sucks to be one of the late boarders. I had to wait in a line that filled the entire length of the ramp. Later, I had to store my bag in a bin opposite of me, and that was the only overhead spot left in my immediate vicinity. When I board early, I always have overhead room, I wait very little and I can just relax while the non elites (Seamas now understands that the term "elite" is airline jargon for frequent fliers the achieve status with a particular airline.) struggle for bin space and wait in line.
As I'm waiting in line, I see that a girl behind me has obviously rushed to the gate. I saw her jog up to the gate, breathe a sigh of relief, and then hand the gate agent her boarding pass. When she got near (which was in about 3 secs since the line was so long) I immediately realized that I could make a situational comment here. I said something like, "I bet you're now wishing you'd taken your time now that you see how long this line is." (It was funnier than that, but I don't remember my exact words). She smiled and said she was afraid she was going to misconnect. I told her I had almost done that in Toyko. I asked here if Chicago was her final destination and she said, "No, Des Moines is." I just nodded. I immediately realized that I could have kept the conversation going but instead I just stalled and I saw her playing with her phone. She then made a phone call to a friend. She said, "When you pick me up, can you bring my jacket please?"
At the time, my frame was fucked up b/c I was tired, I was worried I smelled bad after the long journey, and I knew I wasn't running good game. I honestly thought that she was playing with the cell phone b/c she thought I was trying to pick her up and didn't want to talk to me. (It's possible as my body language was bad, but even if it were true, it shouldn't matter to me. Realistically, though, she probably just wanted to make that call.) After she got off the phone, I felt the same thing I felt after the shit test at the pizza place in Gainesville. It's the same feeling I get when I get busted up on a good night at the bar. I wanted to open other set to show that I'm just social in general. There was some really tall dude in front with two huge carry-ons. I opened him by asking, "Do you know if the bins fill up fast on these bigger planes like they do on smaller planes?" He said, "I hope not."
I felt good after I opened the guy and I feel good about the opening in general. Even though I was far beyond a good sarging mentality, I was still able to be social. As I do this more and more, I know it will become my natural auto-pilot to talk to people, even when I'm exhausted like that. Also, even though I felt rejected by the phone call, I fed off it and did something positive. It's great when I do that at the bar too.
I'm posting this while I wait for my flight in SIN. Free high speed internet rocks!
Introduction:
I've told Seamas several times that sarging isn't just "picking up girls." It's a whole new way of looking at life and of living (or reframing life). I didn't any real sarging here in SIN. When I go on these short trips I feel that there's no real point. I know I should approach for practice and to just be social, but several things are preventing me from being completely "on" all the time. I recognize that these are self-limiting beliefs and I hope to minimize their impact on my actions in the future. First, on the journey over to SIN I was exhausted b/c I had only gotten 1.5 hours sleep before I left. On the ORD-LAX trip, I talked briefly with my seatmate. She was a cute older woman with a wedding ring (who was traveling with a guy with a church position of "Brother" for some denomination) so I knew nothing could happen. Still, I wasn't too tired, so I talked to her for a bit, plus I was motivated since she was cute. In the later legs, I got more tired and didn't have any good looking females near me. On the NRT-SIN leg, there was an HB5-6 behind me (30+) that I probably should have sarged. She was probably going to SIN and was alone, so there were possibilities there, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I hinted at factor two above. Part of the reason I didn't really sarge in Amsterdam or in Singapore was b/c I was there for 2 days. I know that I have no chance for a Day 2 unless I can sarge someone the first day. The only real chance of a successful sarge is if the woman happens to live in Chicago or nearby, or realistically, if I can pull a one-night stand. By this time next year, I hope to have developed enough skills for that to be a real possibility. Again, this is a self-limiting belief, and I should still try for a ONS or just try to sarge even though I likely won't be successful, but I just didn't feel motivated enough. I was more excited about seeing the city than worrying about actual sarging.
Sarging While Waiting for the Parade:
Polish lady:
On Saturday night, there was a parade for Chinese New Years on Orchard Road. It has an official name that I can't think of right now. The newspaper had said it was supposed to start at 8PM. I rolled in just after eight and it still hadn't started . I managed to grab an open spot next to a fence. I'll admit that I grabbed the spot both because it was open and because it happened to be next to a blonde. It turns out she wasn't that hot, was older, and was married, but I was still glad I chose that spot. I didn't immediately open her. Instead, I opened this local guy next to me. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I asked the guy next to me when the parade was supposed to start and if it was going to pass by this spot. Just about a half block to my left was a stage area for ticket holders. I later found out that tickets for that area cost Sin$50. There was some live entertainment there and I was starting to wonder if I had chosen a spot past the end of the parade.
The guy ended up not being able to understand me so I decided to open the blonde. Right before I did, I heard them speaking a foreign language. I initially guessed that it was Polish. I should have been sure as I've heard my ex speak Polish a ton of times, but I speculated that it might have been Russian. Quick run down of the opener. (Nothing to learn here except the overall message of this post, and that it was funny how we met in SIN.)
At the same time, we asked each other where we were from.
Polishlady: I'm originally from Poland but we're from the US.
Me: Hehe. I thought you were speaking Polish. as my ex girlfriend is Polish. I'm from Chicago.
Polish: Really? So are we.
Me: That's funny. I'm actually from X suburb.
Polish: I'm from Y (Y is about two towns west of me.)
Me: That's amazing that we run into each other all the way out here in SIN.
I chatted with her on and off. The only thing I should have done different was e-mail close her and her husband. He had a digital camera and I would have been interested in seeing their pics but for some reason I didn't try to close them. The whole time, though, I thought about how cool it would have been if my ex had been there with me as they all would have immediately bonded.
Columbian hottie:
The Polish lady and I were growing concerned about the parade when it was past 9PM and it still hadn't started. I decided to ask someone else about the parade since Polish didn't know anything about it, and the local guy next to me couldn't understand me. I opened this guy that was standing right behind me. He spoke decent English, but this young hottie HB7.5+ (probably an 8) was the one who took over the conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to see her as I didn't even realize she had been standing behind me. I later found out that they were all originally from Columbia. (Sidenote: I noticed right away that they were speaking Spanish to each other. Their accent was such that I found them easy to understand. Of course, my Spanish is very rusty so I couldn't fully understand them, but this is in stark contrast to the Mexicans I hear in Chicago. I could never understand the Mexicans that worked in the pizza places I worked at when I was younger.) The older guy and his wife were the HB's uncle and aunt. This young boy was their sun, and her cousin.
I definitely should have made a real attempt at sarging this HB. I talked to her on and off but I should have run real game on her. I had opened the set great with genuine indirect. I was cool with the relatives and I easily could have kept talking to her with no disruptions from them. I noticed this the few times we did engage in conversation. I guess I didn't run game for the reasons I listed in the introduction. Also, the parade started about 10 minutes after I opened the set, so I focused on that instead of chatting with her.
This is going to be another excuse, but I think this is partially real. Later on, when my game is great, this factor won't matter. Right now, though I felt weird running my standard game. How would I suddenly ask her if she'd date a guy in a tent? Well, that's what I was thinking when I was talking to her. Even now, I realize that I was indulging in a totally self-limiting belief. I easily could have brought that into the conversation and ran game on her. Dumb me :(
No reservations? No problem!
I have to thank Flyertalkers for recommending Jiang-Nan Chun. For those that don't know, it's a restaurant on the second floor of the Four Seasons Hotel in Singapore. On Saturday and Sunday, they offer brunch. It's all-you-can-eat but it's not a buffet. Instead, you order whatever you want from the menu. The only thing that's limited is shark fin soup. You can have one bowl of that. (Sidenote: I wasn't that impressed with Shark Fin soup. It was good, but it didn't do anything for me. I definitely wouldn't pay Singapore$30 for a bowl a la carte.) The food was great and the all-you-can-eat aspect is ridiculous. I was so stuffed afterwards. If I had ordered the stuff a la carte for the menu prices, I would have spent over Singapore$120.
The only reason I was able to get in was because of the confidence I've learned from developing my game. I never made a reservations even though I heard that it would have been a good idea to make one. On top of that, I was running late gathering my bags, so I didn't get checked out of my hotel until 12:35PM and 2nd Seating started at 1PM. The cab got me there like three minutes before 1PM. I figured I might be SOL so I walked up and said that I had a reservation under my name. When they couldn't find it, I said that my friend had booked the trip. He ended up not coming but he gave me the info about this place. The lady then had me check the reservation list for my friend's name. I felt like I had two things going with my approach to getting in. First, my friend legitimately could have made a reservation and thing could have gotten messed up. He might have booked the wrong day or it might have gotten lost. I told them that he very well might have messed it up, but I never wavered on the point that I really believed that he had made a reservation.
She told me a few times that they were sold out, but instead of walking away like I would have in the past, I was persistent. I wasn't rude or anything. I was very polite, and but I kept trying to get her to work with me. I remember saying stuff like, "What can you do for me?" I repeated my story that I really believed that my friend had made a reservation. When things were looking dim, I even asked if she could recommend another dim sung buffet type place.
At one point, the woman had to attend to the other people that really had reservations. This male employee came up and asked if I needed help. I tried the "sob story" angle on him. I used part of a method that's described in "The 48 Rules of Power." I played on the real story of Sidegames canceling his trip to sell my BS story. I told him that my friend had booked the plane tickets, hotel, and had told me I had reservations at this brunch. I told him that the trip sucked from the beginning b/c my friend had cancelled at the last minute and had left me to go on my own. I said this was hard b/c he had done all the planning and it's boring to go by yourself. I said that I had heard that this restaurant was great and I really wanted to try it. I asked him if he could get me in. I said, "Sit me anywhere, at the bar, or wherever. I'd really like to get in here." I repeated that my friend had made a reservation. I said I was mad at him about the cancellation and I was going to be even more mad about this screw-up. The guy seemed sympathetic, but before he could say anything the woman came by and said she'd seat me in a few minutes.
Score, but how much of it was skilz?
(My blog entry got cut short as I had to board my plane. I've now been home for about 5 hours am I finishing this entry now.) I know my confidence definitely played a role in me getting in, but luck did play a factor. Also, I think the woman was on to my scam. At the end of the meal, she asked me if I had enjoyed the meal. I said it was great and she asked me how I heard of the place. I didn't realize the woman asking was the one who had seated me. I originally thought it one of the servers. I replied that I had heard of it through this Flyertalk website. She then said that if I come again, I should make sure to call her as I wouldn't have gotten in if the table hadn't cancelled. I guess she was on to my BS and I confirmed her suspicions by not sticking to my story. No harm done, except that I would have felt better if I had stuck to my story and not be "outed."
If anyone reading this goes to Singapore (which I recommend), you should definitely eat at Jiang-Nan Chun. Just make sure you make a reservation. No matter how well I sarged, if the one reservation hadn't cancelled, I would have been SOL. The dining room is small and every table was filled when I was there. I kind of felt bad having a table all to myself when I knew they could have fit a family there instead.
Airport Sarging:
SHB spotted:
I saw a 9.5 Monday on my LAX-DEN flight. She was a tall blonde, at least 6 feet tall, with a nice thin body with nice curves. Like the model brunette I saw in Maui, she was wearing sunglasses that appeared to be Cartier. I know I tend to overrate this type of girl as this is totally my type, but I think she legitimately was a 9.5+. I'm sure she fits the SHB profile and negs would be necessary to sarge her. I didn't talk to her as I saw her just as I was boarding, plus I looked like shit as I was 18+ hours into my traveling.
Creating situational openers:
I've been making the effort to use good situational openers when I see the opportunity. In the past, I'd think of a good way to open a girl, and then I wouldn't say anything. I do notice that since I'm more social in general, I find it easy to make these situational comments now. Today was a great example as I was really tired and I knew I looked like shit, but I still opened her.
I had gastrointestinal distress, probably from drinking plane water, so I got to the gate late. Boarding was already open to all seating groups. This reinforced how important the perk of early boarding is for me as a Premier member. I love being one of the first people on the plane and I really had forgotten how much it sucks to be one of the late boarders. I had to wait in a line that filled the entire length of the ramp. Later, I had to store my bag in a bin opposite of me, and that was the only overhead spot left in my immediate vicinity. When I board early, I always have overhead room, I wait very little and I can just relax while the non elites (Seamas now understands that the term "elite" is airline jargon for frequent fliers the achieve status with a particular airline.) struggle for bin space and wait in line.
As I'm waiting in line, I see that a girl behind me has obviously rushed to the gate. I saw her jog up to the gate, breathe a sigh of relief, and then hand the gate agent her boarding pass. When she got near (which was in about 3 secs since the line was so long) I immediately realized that I could make a situational comment here. I said something like, "I bet you're now wishing you'd taken your time now that you see how long this line is." (It was funnier than that, but I don't remember my exact words). She smiled and said she was afraid she was going to misconnect. I told her I had almost done that in Toyko. I asked here if Chicago was her final destination and she said, "No, Des Moines is." I just nodded. I immediately realized that I could have kept the conversation going but instead I just stalled and I saw her playing with her phone. She then made a phone call to a friend. She said, "When you pick me up, can you bring my jacket please?"
At the time, my frame was fucked up b/c I was tired, I was worried I smelled bad after the long journey, and I knew I wasn't running good game. I honestly thought that she was playing with the cell phone b/c she thought I was trying to pick her up and didn't want to talk to me. (It's possible as my body language was bad, but even if it were true, it shouldn't matter to me. Realistically, though, she probably just wanted to make that call.) After she got off the phone, I felt the same thing I felt after the shit test at the pizza place in Gainesville. It's the same feeling I get when I get busted up on a good night at the bar. I wanted to open other set to show that I'm just social in general. There was some really tall dude in front with two huge carry-ons. I opened him by asking, "Do you know if the bins fill up fast on these bigger planes like they do on smaller planes?" He said, "I hope not."
I felt good after I opened the guy and I feel good about the opening in general. Even though I was far beyond a good sarging mentality, I was still able to be social. As I do this more and more, I know it will become my natural auto-pilot to talk to people, even when I'm exhausted like that. Also, even though I felt rejected by the phone call, I fed off it and did something positive. It's great when I do that at the bar too.
Thoughts on LAX-NRT & NRT-SIN flights:
Introduction:
I'm publishing this now as I wait for my return flight. It's 05:05AM in Singapore on Monday, Feb 6. I've left the following unedited except for any typos that I catch when I do a quick proofreading. My bags were okay. I guess NRT is an efficient airport. On Flyertalk, the word is that if you have <45 style="font-weight: bold;" size="5">
UA Free Alcohol in Y on Trans-Pacific flights:
I started to write this entry on my LAX-NRT flight. I guess I’ll finish the short wine thread I was working on then. Canepa Classico Cabernet Savignon 2004 Central Valley is the red wine that was served in Economy class. I had it twice b/c alcohol is free in Y on Asian Flights. On Domestic & trans-Atlantic UA flights, there is a $5 charge in Y. Flyertalk people think this perk might be gone soon as a competing airlines (NW?) Has started to charge for alcohol on trans-Pacific flights. This is another manifestation of my “buffet” mentality. I figure I might as well get my money’s worth so I get the free alcohol instead of a Diet Pepsi. On this NRT-SIN flight, though, I passed on the alcohol because I don’t want to sleep on this flight. My flight arrives around midnight and I want to be able to go right to bed.
OJ STYLE:
No, I didn’t murder anyone. I did almost miss a connection in NRT. My flight was delayed out of LAX b/c some woman had chest pains. She was off-loaded to the ramp area, but we were delayed while medical assitance arrived, and while her bags were off-loaded. I knew the connection was tight in NRT, but I didn’t realize at the time, how tight it was going to be as a result of the delay. We pulled into the gate in NRT at 4:45PM and the SIN flight was scheduled to leave at 5:15PM. I knew that even though I’m checked in, I can get off-loaded if I’m not at the gate 12 minutes before departure.
I had never been in the NRT airport before and that ended up costing me some time. I saw the sign that pointed towards International Connecting flights and baggage claim, but I could also see that the gates were down below. At one point, I wasted time by taking the elevator down one floor. There I found that the door was locked. The guard pointed that I had to go back upstairs. I ended up not wasting too much time as I was able to hop on the elevator immediately and go back up. It turns out that I had to follow the signs to a security check point. Luckily, the security checkpoint was quick as you don’t have to remove laptops nor shoes like you have to do in the US.
My gate was one of the farther gates. If I knew how close I’d end up cutting it, I would have jogged to the gate, but I walked briskly, but calmly. About 50 feet from the gate, I saw some Asian woman running to the gate. I figured she had been on the same flight as me and was worried she’d misconnect. I got onboard right after her and just as I got to my seat and stowed my carry-ons, I saw the ramp pull back and we were ready for take-off.
Opportunities:
I sould mention that Sidegames cancellation has already proven to be an opportunity on the LAX-NRT & NRT-SIN flight. I’m in a window seat on a 777 in a 2-5-2 configuration and I have an empty seat next to me. (Sidenote: This is a nice plane. It looks new and is a stark contrast to the 747-400 that I came in on.) This seat would have been comfortable even without the empty seat, but this is great with the extra room. On the 747, Sidegames abscene was definately huge. The seating configuartion is 3-4-3. I was in the aisle seat on the right side of the middle 4 seat configuration. Sidegames’ seat was next to me. I know for sure that I would have been uncomfortable if he had been there, though I probably would have taken an empty window seat during check-in if he had come. It turns out that I got the empty seat next to me and was able to put my laptop case under the empty seat and put my junk on the seat itself. The only seat that was occupied in my middle section row was the other aisle seat. When I wanted to sleep, I put up the arm rest and spread out over both seats.
Knowing you’re fucked:
Okay, Seamas and I have been talking about Raaf’s post about framing all setbacks as opportunities. We had even debated how I could view my suitcases being lost as an opportunity. Seamas had suggested that I avoid the possibility of having to deal with that by packing some clothes in a carryon. Little did I know that I likely am going to have to deal with this problem. By the time I actually post these entries, I’ll know what happened, of course, but right now I’d esimate that there’s a 75% chance that my bags are still in NRT. It all depends on how efficient the baggage handlers are there.
This plane pushed back at about 5:10PM. It took me about 20 minutes to get from the seat on the 747 to my gate. That should be enough time to transfer my bags, but I’m sweating it. There are a ton of bags on a 747 considering there are like 350 people on board. If the bags are sorted into ones that have to be off-loaded for connecting flights, then my bags probably made it. If the bags are mixed up in the cargo bay, then the bags might not have made it. You would think that the bags should be under me considering the plane was only 2-3 gates away from my arriving plane.
Reframe:
If the lose the bags, I’m not going to let myself get pissed. I did pack an extra shirt and underwear, so worse case scenario, I’ll have some clean clothes to change into at the hotel. I can then either hit the 24 mall, or just go shopping in the morning. My only concern is that if I don’t have any clothes, I won’t be able to go to the Four Seasons brunch tomorrow. If I get my bags back on Sat, then I still would be able to take down the brunch on Sunday. If my bags are still in NRT, I think I won’t get the bags for 24 hours :( There’s no use worrying too much or getting pissed, though. My plan is to just consider a few possibilites and just avoid getting pissed.
Introduction:
I'm publishing this now as I wait for my return flight. It's 05:05AM in Singapore on Monday, Feb 6. I've left the following unedited except for any typos that I catch when I do a quick proofreading. My bags were okay. I guess NRT is an efficient airport. On Flyertalk, the word is that if you have <45 style="font-weight: bold;" size="5">
UA Free Alcohol in Y on Trans-Pacific flights:
I started to write this entry on my LAX-NRT flight. I guess I’ll finish the short wine thread I was working on then. Canepa Classico Cabernet Savignon 2004 Central Valley is the red wine that was served in Economy class. I had it twice b/c alcohol is free in Y on Asian Flights. On Domestic & trans-Atlantic UA flights, there is a $5 charge in Y. Flyertalk people think this perk might be gone soon as a competing airlines (NW?) Has started to charge for alcohol on trans-Pacific flights. This is another manifestation of my “buffet” mentality. I figure I might as well get my money’s worth so I get the free alcohol instead of a Diet Pepsi. On this NRT-SIN flight, though, I passed on the alcohol because I don’t want to sleep on this flight. My flight arrives around midnight and I want to be able to go right to bed.
OJ STYLE:
No, I didn’t murder anyone. I did almost miss a connection in NRT. My flight was delayed out of LAX b/c some woman had chest pains. She was off-loaded to the ramp area, but we were delayed while medical assitance arrived, and while her bags were off-loaded. I knew the connection was tight in NRT, but I didn’t realize at the time, how tight it was going to be as a result of the delay. We pulled into the gate in NRT at 4:45PM and the SIN flight was scheduled to leave at 5:15PM. I knew that even though I’m checked in, I can get off-loaded if I’m not at the gate 12 minutes before departure.
I had never been in the NRT airport before and that ended up costing me some time. I saw the sign that pointed towards International Connecting flights and baggage claim, but I could also see that the gates were down below. At one point, I wasted time by taking the elevator down one floor. There I found that the door was locked. The guard pointed that I had to go back upstairs. I ended up not wasting too much time as I was able to hop on the elevator immediately and go back up. It turns out that I had to follow the signs to a security check point. Luckily, the security checkpoint was quick as you don’t have to remove laptops nor shoes like you have to do in the US.
My gate was one of the farther gates. If I knew how close I’d end up cutting it, I would have jogged to the gate, but I walked briskly, but calmly. About 50 feet from the gate, I saw some Asian woman running to the gate. I figured she had been on the same flight as me and was worried she’d misconnect. I got onboard right after her and just as I got to my seat and stowed my carry-ons, I saw the ramp pull back and we were ready for take-off.
Opportunities:
I sould mention that Sidegames cancellation has already proven to be an opportunity on the LAX-NRT & NRT-SIN flight. I’m in a window seat on a 777 in a 2-5-2 configuration and I have an empty seat next to me. (Sidenote: This is a nice plane. It looks new and is a stark contrast to the 747-400 that I came in on.) This seat would have been comfortable even without the empty seat, but this is great with the extra room. On the 747, Sidegames abscene was definately huge. The seating configuartion is 3-4-3. I was in the aisle seat on the right side of the middle 4 seat configuration. Sidegames’ seat was next to me. I know for sure that I would have been uncomfortable if he had been there, though I probably would have taken an empty window seat during check-in if he had come. It turns out that I got the empty seat next to me and was able to put my laptop case under the empty seat and put my junk on the seat itself. The only seat that was occupied in my middle section row was the other aisle seat. When I wanted to sleep, I put up the arm rest and spread out over both seats.
Knowing you’re fucked:
Okay, Seamas and I have been talking about Raaf’s post about framing all setbacks as opportunities. We had even debated how I could view my suitcases being lost as an opportunity. Seamas had suggested that I avoid the possibility of having to deal with that by packing some clothes in a carryon. Little did I know that I likely am going to have to deal with this problem. By the time I actually post these entries, I’ll know what happened, of course, but right now I’d esimate that there’s a 75% chance that my bags are still in NRT. It all depends on how efficient the baggage handlers are there.
This plane pushed back at about 5:10PM. It took me about 20 minutes to get from the seat on the 747 to my gate. That should be enough time to transfer my bags, but I’m sweating it. There are a ton of bags on a 747 considering there are like 350 people on board. If the bags are sorted into ones that have to be off-loaded for connecting flights, then my bags probably made it. If the bags are mixed up in the cargo bay, then the bags might not have made it. You would think that the bags should be under me considering the plane was only 2-3 gates away from my arriving plane.
Reframe:
If the lose the bags, I’m not going to let myself get pissed. I did pack an extra shirt and underwear, so worse case scenario, I’ll have some clean clothes to change into at the hotel. I can then either hit the 24 mall, or just go shopping in the morning. My only concern is that if I don’t have any clothes, I won’t be able to go to the Four Seasons brunch tomorrow. If I get my bags back on Sat, then I still would be able to take down the brunch on Sunday. If my bags are still in NRT, I think I won’t get the bags for 24 hours :( There’s no use worrying too much or getting pissed, though. My plan is to just consider a few possibilites and just avoid getting pissed.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Sidegames and the Puritan Ethic:
Or maybe it's the Protestant ethic. It's been years since I read Weber so I don't know if Sidegames is closer to the ethic Weber writes about or is more Puritan. On Wednesday, Sidegames and I took some some Nancy's Pizza (free miles from Rewards Network) and he strongly considered going on the trip. He even took out a ton of cash from the bank. After that, I picked up a printer I ordered from Circuit City and stopped at Starbucks. A lone wolf at Starbucks and another in Nordstrom must have thought I was using the lamest, BS pickup line when I opened them with the following, "If you had a paid ticket to Singapore and a hotel room, would you be debating whether or not you should go on the trip?" I opened these two girls just to practice opening, and to try to show Sidegames how stupid he was thinking.
We debated his situation and his argument for staying was really weak. Basically, it comes down to several factors. A reason he gave at the beginning was that everyone except me was telling him not to go. We had discussed that people in the program were probably jealous of his trip. As for his parents ,he said that he had told them that he stopped using substances, even though he was smoking trees again. He said he had told them that if he goes on any more trips, it means that he's using again. He said if he went to Singapore, they would suspect he was using again, and he didn't want to lie to them again b/c he actually was using again.
Okay... That made no sense, and I told him that. I said that if he stayed here in Chicago, he'd just smoke weed the whole weekend. If we went to Singapore, he wouldn't do any drugs, though he did admit that he probably would end up drinking the whole trip.
His bigger reason for not going on the trip ultimately relates to the title of this entry. I repeated my argument that he probably trades better when he takes occasional trips to clear his mind. He made great money after we came back from Hawaii, which supports this argument. Also, I pointed out that he's booked three trips now and has cancelled. Obviously, he wants to get away and if he wastes this trip, he'll just want to go again. If that didn't convince him, his big loss in Wednesday trading should have convinced him. Usually when he gets busted up, he wants to get away. That's how the London getaway that turned into a Buenos Aires ticket happened originally. I told him if he stays, he'll probably get busted up Thursday and Friday too.
He said that he doesn't agree with my premise. He believes that he should work nonstop and never take any trips. He honestly considers it "fucking up" to go on these trips, even though he traded better after Maui. I told him that he doesn't have to refrain from all pleasures and only focus on work. Granted, I overdo the pleasures myself, but I think reality is somewhere in between both of us.
I'm sitting here in LAX waiting for my LAX-NRT flight and Sidegames either ditched work, and is smoking weed, or he is at work. He wasted $900 on this trip that he didn't go on, which puts him over $2000 wasted this year on trips he planned and didn't go on. In keeping with my new optimism, I quickly realized the positives of going solo on this trip. I'm not going to let his flaking ruin my trips, but in many ways, I think the trip would have been better if he had come with.
Or maybe it's the Protestant ethic. It's been years since I read Weber so I don't know if Sidegames is closer to the ethic Weber writes about or is more Puritan. On Wednesday, Sidegames and I took some some Nancy's Pizza (free miles from Rewards Network) and he strongly considered going on the trip. He even took out a ton of cash from the bank. After that, I picked up a printer I ordered from Circuit City and stopped at Starbucks. A lone wolf at Starbucks and another in Nordstrom must have thought I was using the lamest, BS pickup line when I opened them with the following, "If you had a paid ticket to Singapore and a hotel room, would you be debating whether or not you should go on the trip?" I opened these two girls just to practice opening, and to try to show Sidegames how stupid he was thinking.
We debated his situation and his argument for staying was really weak. Basically, it comes down to several factors. A reason he gave at the beginning was that everyone except me was telling him not to go. We had discussed that people in the program were probably jealous of his trip. As for his parents ,he said that he had told them that he stopped using substances, even though he was smoking trees again. He said he had told them that if he goes on any more trips, it means that he's using again. He said if he went to Singapore, they would suspect he was using again, and he didn't want to lie to them again b/c he actually was using again.
Okay... That made no sense, and I told him that. I said that if he stayed here in Chicago, he'd just smoke weed the whole weekend. If we went to Singapore, he wouldn't do any drugs, though he did admit that he probably would end up drinking the whole trip.
His bigger reason for not going on the trip ultimately relates to the title of this entry. I repeated my argument that he probably trades better when he takes occasional trips to clear his mind. He made great money after we came back from Hawaii, which supports this argument. Also, I pointed out that he's booked three trips now and has cancelled. Obviously, he wants to get away and if he wastes this trip, he'll just want to go again. If that didn't convince him, his big loss in Wednesday trading should have convinced him. Usually when he gets busted up, he wants to get away. That's how the London getaway that turned into a Buenos Aires ticket happened originally. I told him if he stays, he'll probably get busted up Thursday and Friday too.
He said that he doesn't agree with my premise. He believes that he should work nonstop and never take any trips. He honestly considers it "fucking up" to go on these trips, even though he traded better after Maui. I told him that he doesn't have to refrain from all pleasures and only focus on work. Granted, I overdo the pleasures myself, but I think reality is somewhere in between both of us.
I'm sitting here in LAX waiting for my LAX-NRT flight and Sidegames either ditched work, and is smoking weed, or he is at work. He wasted $900 on this trip that he didn't go on, which puts him over $2000 wasted this year on trips he planned and didn't go on. In keeping with my new optimism, I quickly realized the positives of going solo on this trip. I'm not going to let his flaking ruin my trips, but in many ways, I think the trip would have been better if he had come with.
