Saturday, November 05, 2005
Approach anxiety is disppearing:
My approach anxiety is slowly disappearing. I've been approaching women more often now than I ever have before in my life, but I still have a lot of work to do. Thursday, I went to Border's in Schaumburg and opened an Asian girl. We talked for about 5 minutes but then she ejected herself. I think my mistake was that I didn't move the coversation to the next level. I had her describing why she wanted to be a teacher. It was the usual thing I've heard from several women about it being rewarding, etc. I should have continued to have her describe more feelings but I made the mistake of changing the subject. I also tried to do "the cube" too early in the coversation and she didn't seem to have been comfortable enough with me to let me try it.
Friday, I went out with Jason. We hit Jet Vodka Lounge because I'm on some e-mail mailing list. We had free drinks for an hour because I was on that list. The place is small and it wasn't a setup that favored the way I like to open. My experience thus far has been in opening women that are alone. Of course, this is a weakness. I have to learn to start opening sets because it seems that women often are in a group, or at least with another friend. I tried opening some tall Polish looking blonde girl, but she was unresponsive. Next, I talk to some girl I saw in a corner table. I found out she was an nurse. After about 30 seconds of talking to this girl, though, her friend leaned over and started talking. I realized that I had made a mistake so I just left. Perhaps I should have kept trying. I don't know. Coming out of the bathroom, I saw a short Indian girl. I bsed with her briefly and then some guy showed up so I said, "Hi" to him and ejected.
After we left Jet, we went to Division Street and hit several bars. I made a few openers, including opening a woman who apparently spoke no English. I believe she responded to me in Italian. Oh well. Jason and I did entertain a 3 set at a table for at least 30 minutes, and possibly an hour. At first, it seemed like a 2 set and there were just two girls there. A third appeared so then I had to entertain her too. Jason had one girl's full attention and ended up getting her number. I thought I was doing well with this fat blonde. The blonde was cute, but was only a 5. I'm still in a learning stage, so I'll sarge any girls that I can. The problem ended up being that she saw through my facade, somehow. She fixed my shirt because I guess I look too uptight with the way I had my shirt. Later, I tried a trick I read somewhere about asking girls if they smoke "trees." She said she did, then she asked me, and I tried to lie and say I did, but somehow she knew I was full of shit and called me out on it.
Still, despite my problems, I ran her through "the cube" and "strawberry fields" which she seemed to like. She tried to get me to run it on her cousin (the other girl that Jason didn't have occupied) so I really do think she liked it, but the cousin wasn't in the mood. The blonde definately seemed to be a kino girl. I had my arm around her but coudn't figure out how to get thing moving farther. I was trying to get to patterning, or trying to get her to describe feelings, but I wasn't able to do so. I think part of the problem was that I had to keep the cousin entertained too. The cousin, to her credit, wasn't cockblocking, but the blonde eventually ended up getting bored with me and ended up ignorning me and talking to the cousin.
I got several chances to AMOG (apha male the other guy). For some reason, this set seemed approachable to guys. Maybe it was because they were chubby, but cute, and the table was located through an aisle that every had to walk by if they were going to the upstairs dance floor area. Two dudes tried to talk to the blonde but asked me if it were my girlfriend first. I said, "No," but maybe I should have said something else. I did say, "What's up?" to these guys and I'd pat them on the back or hi-five them As I think back about the encounters, it's actually funny how easily most guys give up. One guy started talking to the blonde and her cousin, and I just put my arm around the blonde, and the dude gave up. Another tall Italian-Irish guy started talking to the blonde at the end. I think she was sick of me at this point, and was trying to engage the guy, but kept making him look stupid. He's sell point was that he was part "Irish" and he tried to ask this blonde about her Irish heritage. I made comments that he looked totally Italian and not Irish, and how could he talk about Ireland when I bet he had never been there (he did admit that). He soon gave up and left. I know he remembered my cockblock because we ran into him outside. He asked for a high-five and dissed me my moving his hand high (he was like 6 inches taller than me.)
My conclusions, again, are that I'm making good progress. I just have to start opening 2 or 3 sets so I can learn how to do that. I also have to keep sarging so I can learn to steer conversations in the correct direction. The most positive news is that I really seem to be caring less about talking to random girls. At the very end of the night, I saw some average looking Asian girl leaning against a light pole. She was chomping on a piece of pizza. I waited about 5 secs and then approached her. She looked ready to fall asleep. She seemed amused by how much energy I had, but then her friend showed up and that ended that. Before I embarked on this journey, I probably would have been terrified about talking to her. If I somehow wake up by noon this afternoon, I'm hoping to go see "Jarhead" with Sidegames. While we do that, I'll make sure to open random girls that we run into.
My approach anxiety is slowly disappearing. I've been approaching women more often now than I ever have before in my life, but I still have a lot of work to do. Thursday, I went to Border's in Schaumburg and opened an Asian girl. We talked for about 5 minutes but then she ejected herself. I think my mistake was that I didn't move the coversation to the next level. I had her describing why she wanted to be a teacher. It was the usual thing I've heard from several women about it being rewarding, etc. I should have continued to have her describe more feelings but I made the mistake of changing the subject. I also tried to do "the cube" too early in the coversation and she didn't seem to have been comfortable enough with me to let me try it.
Friday, I went out with Jason. We hit Jet Vodka Lounge because I'm on some e-mail mailing list. We had free drinks for an hour because I was on that list. The place is small and it wasn't a setup that favored the way I like to open. My experience thus far has been in opening women that are alone. Of course, this is a weakness. I have to learn to start opening sets because it seems that women often are in a group, or at least with another friend. I tried opening some tall Polish looking blonde girl, but she was unresponsive. Next, I talk to some girl I saw in a corner table. I found out she was an nurse. After about 30 seconds of talking to this girl, though, her friend leaned over and started talking. I realized that I had made a mistake so I just left. Perhaps I should have kept trying. I don't know. Coming out of the bathroom, I saw a short Indian girl. I bsed with her briefly and then some guy showed up so I said, "Hi" to him and ejected.
After we left Jet, we went to Division Street and hit several bars. I made a few openers, including opening a woman who apparently spoke no English. I believe she responded to me in Italian. Oh well. Jason and I did entertain a 3 set at a table for at least 30 minutes, and possibly an hour. At first, it seemed like a 2 set and there were just two girls there. A third appeared so then I had to entertain her too. Jason had one girl's full attention and ended up getting her number. I thought I was doing well with this fat blonde. The blonde was cute, but was only a 5. I'm still in a learning stage, so I'll sarge any girls that I can. The problem ended up being that she saw through my facade, somehow. She fixed my shirt because I guess I look too uptight with the way I had my shirt. Later, I tried a trick I read somewhere about asking girls if they smoke "trees." She said she did, then she asked me, and I tried to lie and say I did, but somehow she knew I was full of shit and called me out on it.
Still, despite my problems, I ran her through "the cube" and "strawberry fields" which she seemed to like. She tried to get me to run it on her cousin (the other girl that Jason didn't have occupied) so I really do think she liked it, but the cousin wasn't in the mood. The blonde definately seemed to be a kino girl. I had my arm around her but coudn't figure out how to get thing moving farther. I was trying to get to patterning, or trying to get her to describe feelings, but I wasn't able to do so. I think part of the problem was that I had to keep the cousin entertained too. The cousin, to her credit, wasn't cockblocking, but the blonde eventually ended up getting bored with me and ended up ignorning me and talking to the cousin.
I got several chances to AMOG (apha male the other guy). For some reason, this set seemed approachable to guys. Maybe it was because they were chubby, but cute, and the table was located through an aisle that every had to walk by if they were going to the upstairs dance floor area. Two dudes tried to talk to the blonde but asked me if it were my girlfriend first. I said, "No," but maybe I should have said something else. I did say, "What's up?" to these guys and I'd pat them on the back or hi-five them As I think back about the encounters, it's actually funny how easily most guys give up. One guy started talking to the blonde and her cousin, and I just put my arm around the blonde, and the dude gave up. Another tall Italian-Irish guy started talking to the blonde at the end. I think she was sick of me at this point, and was trying to engage the guy, but kept making him look stupid. He's sell point was that he was part "Irish" and he tried to ask this blonde about her Irish heritage. I made comments that he looked totally Italian and not Irish, and how could he talk about Ireland when I bet he had never been there (he did admit that). He soon gave up and left. I know he remembered my cockblock because we ran into him outside. He asked for a high-five and dissed me my moving his hand high (he was like 6 inches taller than me.)
My conclusions, again, are that I'm making good progress. I just have to start opening 2 or 3 sets so I can learn how to do that. I also have to keep sarging so I can learn to steer conversations in the correct direction. The most positive news is that I really seem to be caring less about talking to random girls. At the very end of the night, I saw some average looking Asian girl leaning against a light pole. She was chomping on a piece of pizza. I waited about 5 secs and then approached her. She looked ready to fall asleep. She seemed amused by how much energy I had, but then her friend showed up and that ended that. Before I embarked on this journey, I probably would have been terrified about talking to her. If I somehow wake up by noon this afternoon, I'm hoping to go see "Jarhead" with Sidegames. While we do that, I'll make sure to open random girls that we run into.
