Wednesday, November 16, 2005
CRASH & BURN:
Tonight was most interesting. I finally got to experience two worse case scenarios. This is the type of stuff that guys worry about when they have approach anxiety. Having hit rock bottom on these approaches, I now should have less approach anxiety since I know approaches can't possibly get worse than what happen. One problem, though, is that I'm still thinking about it, so I guess the experience has lingering effects. The blow up shouldn't be bothering me though.
I did a light workout before I went to the club. As I was finishing, I decided to talk to the girl working at the counter just so I could get warmed up. I made some comment about her reading the magazine and then I went from there. While I was talking, other women came in and left and I, of course, said, "Hi," to them as they walked by. At one point, I remember that she mentioned finishing her homework and she looked over at a "World History" book. She also commented that this was her last year. This is when it dawned upon me that she was young. I immediatly commented, "Oh, you're still in high school?" She replied, "Yeah, but I just turned 18." I interpreted that comment as her attempting to qualify herself. That's good that I'm starting to recognize these things. Anyway, we talk for a bit more, and then the coversation gets interrupted by some other woman. I finish my water, grab my stuff, and then leave. I make sure to say, "Bye" to this girl and to the woman.
I guess I should evaulate this girl. Now, the age of consent is 17 in IL so it would be perfectly legal to go for this girl if she were 17 or 18 (and she's definately one of those since she said she's a senior. Still, it seems weird to sarge some girl who's in high school considering I graduated high school 10 years ago. Then I thought about a professor my friend told me about who sleeps with 19 year old women, and he's in his 50's. I also think about these 18 and 19 year olds that make pornos so maybe that age isn't so innocent after all. For all I know, this girl lost her virginity when she was 14. I think I'll continue to talk to her if I see her working there and just see what happens.
Now, I end up going to the club by myself. Colorado wants to go play. I was hoping I'd see Dave from last week there but I end up not finding him. I get to Alumni Club at around 9:30PM. I've always wanted to get there earlier, but today it was a bad move. There were tons of guys and very few women. I grabbed a seat at the bar and got my two 50 cent drafts and scoped out the scene. Guys were all around me at the bar area. In the elevated table area, I spotted two sets. One of those sets got sarged while I was drinking my beer. I chill with my bears for like 10 minutes and talk to some 45 years old guy that happens to be sitting by me. We make small talk. I do believe that talking to guys is good. Talking to guys is practicing social skills which will help with sarging. Talking to guys can get you wingmen, and, as I learned today, knowing some people gives you a base to go back to and you can get some emotional support from random guys.
C&B #1:
I go to the washroom and come out reading to approach. I walk up to the elevated area and see that the upper floor is close. As I turn around, I see these two girls. I just walk up and say, "Hi, what's up?" One friend was a HB6.5, and the other one was probably an 8.5. It turns out I made a huge mistake in not realizing that the one girl was pretty good looking. I opened the set and I immediately was getting shit tested hardcore, and I was totally unprepared for this. Had I realized that the one girl was pretty good looking, I would have made sure to focus my conversation on the HB6.5, and later negged the hot girl. As always, I can't be too hard on myself because this was brand new stuff. Here's what I remember from the conversation:
8.5: Do I know you?
Me: (I didn't realize it was a shit test at the time, but it was.) I think I said something like: No, why do I look familiar?
8.5: No. (I believe she now said something like Why are you talking to us then?)
Me: I'm just being friendly.
8.5: Are you drunk?
Me: I had a few beers, but no, I'm not. (And I wasn't drunk after those two small drafts).
8.5: You seem to be fully of energy.
Me: Well, I have a lot of energy in general. I'll try to tone it down a little. (Blah, I just fell into her trap and qualified myself).
8.5: Why don't you buy us a drink?
Me: (This is when I started to notice she was pretty hot and that's why she had this total bitch shield. I had been expecting this line since I started sarging, but it was the first time it had been used on me.) Sorry, I don't do that.
8.5: It's only a 50 cents. Buy us a drink.
Me: It's not the money, it's the principle. I don't do that. You can buy me one.
8.5: Why should I?
Me: Well, you said it's only 50 cents, so why not?
8.5: I have plenty of money, but you should buy us a drink, it's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Me: Lol. Well, if that's what you want, there's plenty of guys out there that'll buy you drinks. They're out there holding up a wall next to the dance floor. These are the same type of guys that will call you 50 times a day if you give them you're number. They'll bring you flowers on a coffee date.
8.5: I've never had anyone call me that many times.
At this point, the Russian shot girl comes by. I put my arm around her and say, "Hi."
Shot girl: Want to do some shots? Why don't you buy them some shots?
Me: You already know that I don't buy shots. Girls, do you want shots? On you, of course.
(I think I really pissed off the 8.5 at this point).
When the shotgirl left, the 8.5 says that I can go now.
Me: (I had gotten so desensitized that I viewed everything as a shit test). Wow, you're brutal. What's up with you?
8.5: Wow, you're presistant.
Me: That's right.
8.5: (She thought for a few seconds and then said) You can get the fuck out of here.
Me: What? What's up?
8.5: I'm serious, get the fuck out of here.
Me: (realized that I've just crashed and burned as bad as possible) Okay. It was nice meeting you two.
As I said above, I think it's good that I was so desensitized that I wouldn't eject until she told me to get the fuck out. I think it's bad that I wasn't ready for the shit test. Seamas said I need to ignore the shit tests. I agree with that. He thinks I could have bought the drinks since they were so cheap (I hate the idea of supplicating at all) or I should have just said that I dont' do that and left it at that. By asking her to buy me a drink, Seamas thinks I elevated the stakes and then when she called me (to use the poker term), and I had nothing because I wasn't ready to play at that level. Beyond that, I should have realized this girl was likely to have a bitch shield on. Had I realized that, I could have approached things differently.
C&B#2:
Right after this, I walk away and spot another set at the lower bar area. I felt stupid after the last approach, so I walked right into this set. The set was a HB7 brunette, and HB7 blonde (this seems to be a common combination as of late). I say, "Hi" and ask them what brings them to Alumni Club. (On a side note, I should go back to openers. Not using a routine worked on Saturday, but it hasn't been working otherwise). They tell me they're meeting some friends. I ask how they know each other, and they say that they've known each other since high school. I run best friends test on them. I noticed that the blonde is totally disinterested in my and the conversation as she's kind of looking out to the side. The brunette seems semi-interested. At the very least, she's looking at me, listening and responding. I run out of stuff to say, so I ask if they'd date a guy in a tent.
Brunette says no. Blondes emphatically say's no.
Me: Can you envision a situation where you wouldn't say no?
Blonde: Would you date someone who lived in a tent?
Me: Actually, I had the same response that you did until I thought about it more. This guy that lived in the tent did so near LA. Imagine that you're out clubbing in LA and you meet this great guy. Somehow, you wind up at his place. As you pull up into the driveway, you see this huge house in Hollywood Hills. You're thinking, wow, he's not only a cool guy, but he's right too. Either that, or he still lives with his parents. You go inside and find out that bunch of guys are renting this house. He shows you the ten person hot tub, the huge granite kitchen, and some of the guys rooms. When you ask to see his room, he takes you out back and shows you the tent. Would you still dump him?
Blonde: Yeah.
Brunette: You're weird.
Me: That's because you're SO normal (borrowed this line from an MASF post.)
Brunette: That's mean. I'm mad at you now.
Me: It was mean to call me weird.
Brunette: I didn't say you were weird. I said you were random. (Whoops. I wouldn't have made that response if she'd said I was random. I would have come up with something better).
Me: (I try to salvage the situation by just moving onto another topic.) What do you do for fun?
Brunette: Hang out with my boyfriend. (I really think she was full of shit here, and I know that it was because I pissed her off).
Me: Wow, I just met you and you're already telling me you're problems. (I'd gotten two girls in the past to laugh at this line, but as I said it, I realized it wasn't going to sound good after I had made the previous comment.)
Brunette ignore me. Blondes says: I have a boyfriend who's here and he's going to kick your ass.
Me: LOL. I bet you two don't even have boyfriends.
Blonde: What?
Me: (here I go being an AFC) Well, I could believe you have boyfriends but I know that they aren't here.
Blonde: You should get out of here.
Me: Well, it was fun chatting to you.
Busted up again. Seamas read the situation right when I told him about it on the phone. Because I was still thinking about the first approach, I overreacted to the brunette's comment. I thought I heard her say I was weird, and I come up with an overly obnoxious comment. (Incidently, I don't think I'm going to use that reponse when I do get called weird in the future. I think it's too obnoxious. I need something that's cocky, but more funny.) Though the blonde was totally disinterested, the friend still might have been open to the idea (that was until I pissed her off.)
Third set:
I walk to the dance floor and see these a chubby HB6.5 brunette. I open with the universal opener and ask her the usual questions (What brings you here? Who are you with?) As I ask the second question, a chubby blonde HB6.5 comes. I greet her. Now, the girls are close together for a bit, but then they wind up being like 8-10 feet apart. This happened later in the night too. I'm used to having the girls stay close to me and at least pretend to give me their attention. This was weird because I couldn't talk to both girls at once. I switch off talking to both of them. The brunette then disappears for a few minutes so I talk to the blonde. I find out that they are waiting for more friends. A few minutes later, another chubby girl probably another 6.5 shows up and this guy. The guys is pretty good looking. He has a shirt with a design on the shoulder area, and he's wearing sunglasses. I greet him and then he says that he met me already. I ask him where and he said, "Remember those two girls Saturday? I was the guy with the pink shirt." I remember him then. I then figure I have some in so I ask the HB6.5 blonde if she knew the two twins from Saturday. She replies that she doesn't. Now, blonde talks to the new chubby girl, and the guy talks to the other the 6.5 brunette. I stood there feeling stupid so I just left and looked for more targets.
I swear I should have talked more to this guy. Obviously, he's a regular so I'll be seeing him more in the future. On top of that, he knew the HB7.5 from Saturday, and I should have asked him about her. I didn't have to do anything AFCish. I just should have asked if she was there. I say this because I swear I spotted her in the club, but I could have been wrong. I believe I saw her on the dance stage and later walking with some dude. I couldn't remember for sure, though. As the bar is closing, I see the dude again so I make sure to shake his hand and tell him to have a good night. I don't see the twins from Saturday so I assume they didn't come after all, so I don't bother asking him. In retrospect, I should have asked anyway.
Set #4:
After this set, I call Seamas on the phone and discuss stuff because I was feeling down. When we finish, I go to the bathroom. I come out and see these two girls standing at a table. I open them with the universal opener. Now, this was the second occurance of what I described above. These two wouldn't stay next to each other. They were like 10 feet away from each other. One was a cute, but fat brunette who was probably equivalent to the women in Set#3 so I'll call her brunetteHB6.5. The friend was fat too, but less attractive so I'd give her a 6, or even slightly lower. The 6.5 definately seemd the more interesting of the two. On top of that, she'd just come back from Vegas and was going in February . I thought that would be perfect since I knew all about Vegas. Before that happened, I had tried multiple times to talk to the 6, but everytime I said something to her, she'd whip her head around with this surprised look on her face. It was like she was surprised I was talking to her. Seamas says he thinks this girl had low self esteem.
When 6.5 and I are talking about Vegas, HB6 disappears. I ask if she went to dance, and 6.5 says she went to get a friend. HB6 appears with a Hispanic guy who puts his arm around HB6.5. At this point, I don't know what to think. I know they are not together, but maybe she asked the friend to get this guy to get rid of me. Seamas suggested that HB6 might have such low self esteem that she got the friend to get rid of me because I wasn't talking to her enough. I say, "Hi" to the guy and shake his hand. We exchange names. I then decide to bail because I don't really feel like dealing with this BS for a set that wasn't that good looking.
Rest of the night:
I go stand near the dance floor. I see some black guy standing so I greet him. I ask him how it's going and he asks me. I reply honestly (and maybe this hurts my inner game) that it's okay but I keep crashing and burning with girls. He says, "Hey that happens. Keep trying." It seems like most guys will give this advice, especially because most guys know what it's like. I later got the same from the 45+ year old guy. The black guy starts moving with the music. I say, "I dont' know how to dance. How did you learn?" He replied with good advice, actually, "I just watch music videos and learn from tehm." I never thought about doing that, but I should do it.
I stop some average (from behind) looking girl standing by herself. I go up and say, "Hi. You look bored." (I say that a lot and I should stop doing it. It has gotten poor results). She says something that I can't hear. I then ask her something like "What brings you here?" and she just walked away. Whoops!
I walk to the other side of the bar and see a HB7 blonde standing there with two drinks in front of her. I walk next to her and order a diet coke. I then turn talk to her. This dude then showed up and she gave him the drink. I greeted him and then ejected. In retrospect, I should have talk to both of them for practice and I should have asked how they knew each other. The guy seemed like an AFC and I'm not convinced they were actually together. My bruised inner game messed me up there.
My final set was a thin, but ugly blonde HB5.5, and a cute, but fat, brunette, HB6. I say, "Hi" to the brunette. I then try to make sure it's clear that I'm speaking to both of them, but HB6 turns her back to me. Seamas thinks that one of two things happens. The HB6 either turned around because she wanted to let me talk to the HB6 alone or HB6 turned because she was used to guys talking to the cuter one. I just can't believe the cuter one gets approached that much. I guess I should be surprised. She was kind of cute, so guys would approach her, while the blonde really wasn't that good looking, so they probably ignore her. I talk for a few minutes, and then some guy friend shows up. He came right up and started talking to her ear. Now, this could have been some AMOG who totally blew me out, but I think it wasn't. I greet the guy and then say, "Hey bro, is it your birthday?" He said it wasn't and I just left.
I looked for more sets after that, but there weren't any others to open. There were some girls on the dance floor, but that would have required dancing. I chatted with the 45+ guy a bit and then he left. I then proceeded to look for the girl from Saturday. It's probably good I didn't find her because I'd probably act weird. I kind of have one-itis with her since I that was my best set so far.
Lessons:
-When I approach a set, I have to approach the uglier one. I knew that, but I violated with girls who I thought were about equal in looks. But even if both girls are 6's, one usually is better looking.
-I need to learn how to deal with shit tests better. I've done better since that one Friday with Jason, but I was completely unprepared for a barage of shit tests.
-I need to not let previous sarges bother me. Easier said that done though. I was thinking about the first C&B during the 2nd sarge and am still thinking about it.
-Go back to openers. It was nice that HB7.5 from Saturday responsded to nonrehearsed material, but I seem to be falling flat after I say, "Hi."
-I'm not sure if I can do anything about this, but I think I'm getting negative value when people ask me who I came with. One time I answered that I was supposed to meet a guy but he had to watch his kids. That was fine, but I qualified myself by saying that most of my friends are lame and don't like to go out that often. BLAH! I just have to make up some BS that I met some friends and they left so they could go to bed early. I need to get more friendly with the girl charging admission, the bartenders, and the bouncers. That would give me some social proof.
-I went back to my old habit of ejecting too early because I had ejected so late with the first set. I still think I need to follow the Gunwitch saying "Make the ho say no." Another good saying comes from Boiler Room, "A sale is made on every call. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you on a reason you can't." So I either seduce the girl, or she convinces me that I'm rejected. Funny thing is that previously, girls had rejected me by walking away, or excusing themselves to the bathroom. This was the first time I'd be told to my face to get away.
Approaches today: 8
Total approaches: 49
Tonight was most interesting. I finally got to experience two worse case scenarios. This is the type of stuff that guys worry about when they have approach anxiety. Having hit rock bottom on these approaches, I now should have less approach anxiety since I know approaches can't possibly get worse than what happen. One problem, though, is that I'm still thinking about it, so I guess the experience has lingering effects. The blow up shouldn't be bothering me though.
I did a light workout before I went to the club. As I was finishing, I decided to talk to the girl working at the counter just so I could get warmed up. I made some comment about her reading the magazine and then I went from there. While I was talking, other women came in and left and I, of course, said, "Hi," to them as they walked by. At one point, I remember that she mentioned finishing her homework and she looked over at a "World History" book. She also commented that this was her last year. This is when it dawned upon me that she was young. I immediatly commented, "Oh, you're still in high school?" She replied, "Yeah, but I just turned 18." I interpreted that comment as her attempting to qualify herself. That's good that I'm starting to recognize these things. Anyway, we talk for a bit more, and then the coversation gets interrupted by some other woman. I finish my water, grab my stuff, and then leave. I make sure to say, "Bye" to this girl and to the woman.
I guess I should evaulate this girl. Now, the age of consent is 17 in IL so it would be perfectly legal to go for this girl if she were 17 or 18 (and she's definately one of those since she said she's a senior. Still, it seems weird to sarge some girl who's in high school considering I graduated high school 10 years ago. Then I thought about a professor my friend told me about who sleeps with 19 year old women, and he's in his 50's. I also think about these 18 and 19 year olds that make pornos so maybe that age isn't so innocent after all. For all I know, this girl lost her virginity when she was 14. I think I'll continue to talk to her if I see her working there and just see what happens.
Now, I end up going to the club by myself. Colorado wants to go play. I was hoping I'd see Dave from last week there but I end up not finding him. I get to Alumni Club at around 9:30PM. I've always wanted to get there earlier, but today it was a bad move. There were tons of guys and very few women. I grabbed a seat at the bar and got my two 50 cent drafts and scoped out the scene. Guys were all around me at the bar area. In the elevated table area, I spotted two sets. One of those sets got sarged while I was drinking my beer. I chill with my bears for like 10 minutes and talk to some 45 years old guy that happens to be sitting by me. We make small talk. I do believe that talking to guys is good. Talking to guys is practicing social skills which will help with sarging. Talking to guys can get you wingmen, and, as I learned today, knowing some people gives you a base to go back to and you can get some emotional support from random guys.
C&B #1:
I go to the washroom and come out reading to approach. I walk up to the elevated area and see that the upper floor is close. As I turn around, I see these two girls. I just walk up and say, "Hi, what's up?" One friend was a HB6.5, and the other one was probably an 8.5. It turns out I made a huge mistake in not realizing that the one girl was pretty good looking. I opened the set and I immediately was getting shit tested hardcore, and I was totally unprepared for this. Had I realized that the one girl was pretty good looking, I would have made sure to focus my conversation on the HB6.5, and later negged the hot girl. As always, I can't be too hard on myself because this was brand new stuff. Here's what I remember from the conversation:
8.5: Do I know you?
Me: (I didn't realize it was a shit test at the time, but it was.) I think I said something like: No, why do I look familiar?
8.5: No. (I believe she now said something like Why are you talking to us then?)
Me: I'm just being friendly.
8.5: Are you drunk?
Me: I had a few beers, but no, I'm not. (And I wasn't drunk after those two small drafts).
8.5: You seem to be fully of energy.
Me: Well, I have a lot of energy in general. I'll try to tone it down a little. (Blah, I just fell into her trap and qualified myself).
8.5: Why don't you buy us a drink?
Me: (This is when I started to notice she was pretty hot and that's why she had this total bitch shield. I had been expecting this line since I started sarging, but it was the first time it had been used on me.) Sorry, I don't do that.
8.5: It's only a 50 cents. Buy us a drink.
Me: It's not the money, it's the principle. I don't do that. You can buy me one.
8.5: Why should I?
Me: Well, you said it's only 50 cents, so why not?
8.5: I have plenty of money, but you should buy us a drink, it's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Me: Lol. Well, if that's what you want, there's plenty of guys out there that'll buy you drinks. They're out there holding up a wall next to the dance floor. These are the same type of guys that will call you 50 times a day if you give them you're number. They'll bring you flowers on a coffee date.
8.5: I've never had anyone call me that many times.
At this point, the Russian shot girl comes by. I put my arm around her and say, "Hi."
Shot girl: Want to do some shots? Why don't you buy them some shots?
Me: You already know that I don't buy shots. Girls, do you want shots? On you, of course.
(I think I really pissed off the 8.5 at this point).
When the shotgirl left, the 8.5 says that I can go now.
Me: (I had gotten so desensitized that I viewed everything as a shit test). Wow, you're brutal. What's up with you?
8.5: Wow, you're presistant.
Me: That's right.
8.5: (She thought for a few seconds and then said) You can get the fuck out of here.
Me: What? What's up?
8.5: I'm serious, get the fuck out of here.
Me: (realized that I've just crashed and burned as bad as possible) Okay. It was nice meeting you two.
As I said above, I think it's good that I was so desensitized that I wouldn't eject until she told me to get the fuck out. I think it's bad that I wasn't ready for the shit test. Seamas said I need to ignore the shit tests. I agree with that. He thinks I could have bought the drinks since they were so cheap (I hate the idea of supplicating at all) or I should have just said that I dont' do that and left it at that. By asking her to buy me a drink, Seamas thinks I elevated the stakes and then when she called me (to use the poker term), and I had nothing because I wasn't ready to play at that level. Beyond that, I should have realized this girl was likely to have a bitch shield on. Had I realized that, I could have approached things differently.
C&B#2:
Right after this, I walk away and spot another set at the lower bar area. I felt stupid after the last approach, so I walked right into this set. The set was a HB7 brunette, and HB7 blonde (this seems to be a common combination as of late). I say, "Hi" and ask them what brings them to Alumni Club. (On a side note, I should go back to openers. Not using a routine worked on Saturday, but it hasn't been working otherwise). They tell me they're meeting some friends. I ask how they know each other, and they say that they've known each other since high school. I run best friends test on them. I noticed that the blonde is totally disinterested in my and the conversation as she's kind of looking out to the side. The brunette seems semi-interested. At the very least, she's looking at me, listening and responding. I run out of stuff to say, so I ask if they'd date a guy in a tent.
Brunette says no. Blondes emphatically say's no.
Me: Can you envision a situation where you wouldn't say no?
Blonde: Would you date someone who lived in a tent?
Me: Actually, I had the same response that you did until I thought about it more. This guy that lived in the tent did so near LA. Imagine that you're out clubbing in LA and you meet this great guy. Somehow, you wind up at his place. As you pull up into the driveway, you see this huge house in Hollywood Hills. You're thinking, wow, he's not only a cool guy, but he's right too. Either that, or he still lives with his parents. You go inside and find out that bunch of guys are renting this house. He shows you the ten person hot tub, the huge granite kitchen, and some of the guys rooms. When you ask to see his room, he takes you out back and shows you the tent. Would you still dump him?
Blonde: Yeah.
Brunette: You're weird.
Me: That's because you're SO normal (borrowed this line from an MASF post.)
Brunette: That's mean. I'm mad at you now.
Me: It was mean to call me weird.
Brunette: I didn't say you were weird. I said you were random. (Whoops. I wouldn't have made that response if she'd said I was random. I would have come up with something better).
Me: (I try to salvage the situation by just moving onto another topic.) What do you do for fun?
Brunette: Hang out with my boyfriend. (I really think she was full of shit here, and I know that it was because I pissed her off).
Me: Wow, I just met you and you're already telling me you're problems. (I'd gotten two girls in the past to laugh at this line, but as I said it, I realized it wasn't going to sound good after I had made the previous comment.)
Brunette ignore me. Blondes says: I have a boyfriend who's here and he's going to kick your ass.
Me: LOL. I bet you two don't even have boyfriends.
Blonde: What?
Me: (here I go being an AFC) Well, I could believe you have boyfriends but I know that they aren't here.
Blonde: You should get out of here.
Me: Well, it was fun chatting to you.
Busted up again. Seamas read the situation right when I told him about it on the phone. Because I was still thinking about the first approach, I overreacted to the brunette's comment. I thought I heard her say I was weird, and I come up with an overly obnoxious comment. (Incidently, I don't think I'm going to use that reponse when I do get called weird in the future. I think it's too obnoxious. I need something that's cocky, but more funny.) Though the blonde was totally disinterested, the friend still might have been open to the idea (that was until I pissed her off.)
Third set:
I walk to the dance floor and see these a chubby HB6.5 brunette. I open with the universal opener and ask her the usual questions (What brings you here? Who are you with?) As I ask the second question, a chubby blonde HB6.5 comes. I greet her. Now, the girls are close together for a bit, but then they wind up being like 8-10 feet apart. This happened later in the night too. I'm used to having the girls stay close to me and at least pretend to give me their attention. This was weird because I couldn't talk to both girls at once. I switch off talking to both of them. The brunette then disappears for a few minutes so I talk to the blonde. I find out that they are waiting for more friends. A few minutes later, another chubby girl probably another 6.5 shows up and this guy. The guys is pretty good looking. He has a shirt with a design on the shoulder area, and he's wearing sunglasses. I greet him and then he says that he met me already. I ask him where and he said, "Remember those two girls Saturday? I was the guy with the pink shirt." I remember him then. I then figure I have some in so I ask the HB6.5 blonde if she knew the two twins from Saturday. She replies that she doesn't. Now, blonde talks to the new chubby girl, and the guy talks to the other the 6.5 brunette. I stood there feeling stupid so I just left and looked for more targets.
I swear I should have talked more to this guy. Obviously, he's a regular so I'll be seeing him more in the future. On top of that, he knew the HB7.5 from Saturday, and I should have asked him about her. I didn't have to do anything AFCish. I just should have asked if she was there. I say this because I swear I spotted her in the club, but I could have been wrong. I believe I saw her on the dance stage and later walking with some dude. I couldn't remember for sure, though. As the bar is closing, I see the dude again so I make sure to shake his hand and tell him to have a good night. I don't see the twins from Saturday so I assume they didn't come after all, so I don't bother asking him. In retrospect, I should have asked anyway.
Set #4:
After this set, I call Seamas on the phone and discuss stuff because I was feeling down. When we finish, I go to the bathroom. I come out and see these two girls standing at a table. I open them with the universal opener. Now, this was the second occurance of what I described above. These two wouldn't stay next to each other. They were like 10 feet away from each other. One was a cute, but fat brunette who was probably equivalent to the women in Set#3 so I'll call her brunetteHB6.5. The friend was fat too, but less attractive so I'd give her a 6, or even slightly lower. The 6.5 definately seemd the more interesting of the two. On top of that, she'd just come back from Vegas and was going in February . I thought that would be perfect since I knew all about Vegas. Before that happened, I had tried multiple times to talk to the 6, but everytime I said something to her, she'd whip her head around with this surprised look on her face. It was like she was surprised I was talking to her. Seamas says he thinks this girl had low self esteem.
When 6.5 and I are talking about Vegas, HB6 disappears. I ask if she went to dance, and 6.5 says she went to get a friend. HB6 appears with a Hispanic guy who puts his arm around HB6.5. At this point, I don't know what to think. I know they are not together, but maybe she asked the friend to get this guy to get rid of me. Seamas suggested that HB6 might have such low self esteem that she got the friend to get rid of me because I wasn't talking to her enough. I say, "Hi" to the guy and shake his hand. We exchange names. I then decide to bail because I don't really feel like dealing with this BS for a set that wasn't that good looking.
Rest of the night:
I go stand near the dance floor. I see some black guy standing so I greet him. I ask him how it's going and he asks me. I reply honestly (and maybe this hurts my inner game) that it's okay but I keep crashing and burning with girls. He says, "Hey that happens. Keep trying." It seems like most guys will give this advice, especially because most guys know what it's like. I later got the same from the 45+ year old guy. The black guy starts moving with the music. I say, "I dont' know how to dance. How did you learn?" He replied with good advice, actually, "I just watch music videos and learn from tehm." I never thought about doing that, but I should do it.
I stop some average (from behind) looking girl standing by herself. I go up and say, "Hi. You look bored." (I say that a lot and I should stop doing it. It has gotten poor results). She says something that I can't hear. I then ask her something like "What brings you here?" and she just walked away. Whoops!
I walk to the other side of the bar and see a HB7 blonde standing there with two drinks in front of her. I walk next to her and order a diet coke. I then turn talk to her. This dude then showed up and she gave him the drink. I greeted him and then ejected. In retrospect, I should have talk to both of them for practice and I should have asked how they knew each other. The guy seemed like an AFC and I'm not convinced they were actually together. My bruised inner game messed me up there.
My final set was a thin, but ugly blonde HB5.5, and a cute, but fat, brunette, HB6. I say, "Hi" to the brunette. I then try to make sure it's clear that I'm speaking to both of them, but HB6 turns her back to me. Seamas thinks that one of two things happens. The HB6 either turned around because she wanted to let me talk to the HB6 alone or HB6 turned because she was used to guys talking to the cuter one. I just can't believe the cuter one gets approached that much. I guess I should be surprised. She was kind of cute, so guys would approach her, while the blonde really wasn't that good looking, so they probably ignore her. I talk for a few minutes, and then some guy friend shows up. He came right up and started talking to her ear. Now, this could have been some AMOG who totally blew me out, but I think it wasn't. I greet the guy and then say, "Hey bro, is it your birthday?" He said it wasn't and I just left.
I looked for more sets after that, but there weren't any others to open. There were some girls on the dance floor, but that would have required dancing. I chatted with the 45+ guy a bit and then he left. I then proceeded to look for the girl from Saturday. It's probably good I didn't find her because I'd probably act weird. I kind of have one-itis with her since I that was my best set so far.
Lessons:
-When I approach a set, I have to approach the uglier one. I knew that, but I violated with girls who I thought were about equal in looks. But even if both girls are 6's, one usually is better looking.
-I need to learn how to deal with shit tests better. I've done better since that one Friday with Jason, but I was completely unprepared for a barage of shit tests.
-I need to not let previous sarges bother me. Easier said that done though. I was thinking about the first C&B during the 2nd sarge and am still thinking about it.
-Go back to openers. It was nice that HB7.5 from Saturday responsded to nonrehearsed material, but I seem to be falling flat after I say, "Hi."
-I'm not sure if I can do anything about this, but I think I'm getting negative value when people ask me who I came with. One time I answered that I was supposed to meet a guy but he had to watch his kids. That was fine, but I qualified myself by saying that most of my friends are lame and don't like to go out that often. BLAH! I just have to make up some BS that I met some friends and they left so they could go to bed early. I need to get more friendly with the girl charging admission, the bartenders, and the bouncers. That would give me some social proof.
-I went back to my old habit of ejecting too early because I had ejected so late with the first set. I still think I need to follow the Gunwitch saying "Make the ho say no." Another good saying comes from Boiler Room, "A sale is made on every call. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you on a reason you can't." So I either seduce the girl, or she convinces me that I'm rejected. Funny thing is that previously, girls had rejected me by walking away, or excusing themselves to the bathroom. This was the first time I'd be told to my face to get away.
Approaches today: 8
Total approaches: 49
