Saturday, November 12, 2005
Overkill:
I went to Alumni Club in Schaumburg on Thursday. Friday night, I hit Barleycorn on Lincoln, and then two places on Division. My game was really weak today, and I think it might be because of inner game. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that I went without working out. All the other times I went out, I went after working out so I felt great. Today, I just didn't feel that confident or full of energy, so I think that might have shown despite me trying hide it. As I went out anyway, I figured I try to make approaches just for the practice. In doing so, I was reminded of when I'd try to put in too many hours playing poker. I'd get burnt out and then I'd end up playing on autopilot. My poker autopilot is probably still profitable in most games, but I always suspected that the diminishing returns hurt me in the long run even more by just getting me sick of playing in general. Still, poker autopilot was probably still profitable most of the time. My sarging autopilot skills are probably just a step above AFCness.
At Barleycorn, I opened a set within 5 minutes of entering the bar. That was probably my fastest open yet. I was thinking that things might be good that night, but the first set was a perfect example of the rest of the evening approaches. I saw two girls standing, so I went up to them. I said, "Hi" and I asked them if the place was always this dead. It was about 10:30, and the place was empty. They said it would fill up later. I then asked what brought them to Barleycorn. They replied that they were on a work outing. I then asked them if they were relaxing or if they were "party girls." I think this was my screwup on this set. One girl answered in a very sarcastic tone, "Yeah, we're party girls." I guess that was the wrong cold read to make. Just after she made that reply, the girls walked away.
At Barleycorn, I made a few other approaches. None of them lasted longer than a minute. I talked to some fat Asian girl who walked away from me after my third question. Jason asked me what happened because he couldn't believe how quickly she had walked away. Another approach fizzled when Jason opened these two blondes and I asked one question and just sat there feeling like an idiot. I'm not exactly sure what happened that set. I guess I phased back to a total AFC after my statement in that set.
Later, I played the part of the idiot wingman for Jason at Bootleggers. He began dancing with this 5 set of 30-something women. The area where they were congregated had a speaker right above so it was very difficult to have a conversation. The only way I could talk to Jason was to yell into his ear and vice versa. Anyway, I could tell he was getting along with them well. I think they wanted me to dance but I just stood there holding up a wall. I might have gotten over most of my fears concerning cold approaches at bars, but I still suck at dancing. I don't know how to dance and when I do dance I'm convinced it doesn't feel right. Some of that is poor inner game, but I've been told several time by female friends that I need to relax and smile more when I do try to dance. I guess I just lack that skill.
If the music hadn't been so loud near this set, I know I could have played a better wingman. I might have crashed and burned, but I would have made a good attempt at conversation. Even with the music blaring, I made several attempts to talk to various members of this group, but it was clear I had no chance for verbal game. I did find out that they were visiting from Texas and were leaving on Sunday. Maybe I gave up too easily with trying to talk to them. I'm not sure. I don't think an isolation move would have been a good move considering I could gain any rapport after yelling only a brief question into their ears.
Jason ended up dancing and grinding with them for most of the night. He felt like he couldn't get anywhere farther because they were married. Still, the two that were most into him kept hugging and kissing him when he was leaving. One woman even said they'd probably be back at Bootleggers tomorrow. I told him that he didn't have to leave on my account. I still feel that he left the bar early because I was clearly bored there. On top of that, there weren't really any sets for me to open there. I had walked through the place several times and found that all the women I could open were on the dance floor. I told him when we left that I was serious that I was willing to stay until close even though I couldn't really sarge and wasn't getting anywhere in that set.
Jason'sNatural game:
On a sidenote, I think Jason has some good potential. He just needs a little work. I think he might have been able to fclose one of the two women that were into him, but he would have had to isolate one of them away from the group. He then could have gotten their phone number and tried to hook up before Sunday. Of course, this wouldn't have been hard to pull off, but I think he should have definitely made an attempt. Sure, the women were married, but those women clearly loved dancing with him, kissing him, and grinding with them. He said he even felt up one set of tits. He had put a hand there by accident, and moved it, and she had moved his hands back on her breasts. When I told him he should have tried to fclose, he said that she had told him several times that she was married. I replied that she might have still been willing to have a ONS with him, but she wanted him to know that he would be committing adultery. I don't know, maybe reading this seduction stuff just has me thinking that this stuff happens more often then it really does. On the other hand, maybe I've gained a real insight into human behavior and this really does happen more than I thought it did.
After we left Bootleggers, I dragged Jason to Clarke's on Belmont (for Idine miles of course!). Here I noticed more of his game that I need to adopt somehow. We got seated at a single table that was in the middle of two other tables. As we were being seated, I noticed two girls sitting at the table to my right. There was a blonde, probably a 6, and a brunette, who might have been a 7, but I didn't get a good look at her. On my left was a HB7.5 blonde with glasses, and guy who I read as being gay. I told myself to greet the girls on the right as I sat down, but I guess tonight's failures made me lose confidence so I didn't. I decided to try to open a few minutes into the set. I tried to say, "Hi" to the group and was ignored. I then tried to get her attention by speaking a little louder, and again the brunette didn't say anything so I gave up. At the same time, Jason was also giving me a look that I should stop as it was clear they didn't want to talk.
Later, the brunette went to the bathroom. The blonde that started to play with her phone. Suddenly, Jason made some comment about a drunk girl behind me. This girl was so drunk that her friends had to drag her out of the restaurant. The HB6 laughed at Jason's comment. He then made a few random comments to her. By making his comment, he had opened the set, where I had failed to open by speaking directly. Jason, though explained, that the brunette just wasn't in a talking mood.
About 5 minutes later, "Opps, I Did It Again" by Britney Spears came on. Jason and the HB7.5 to my left starting singing along and waying their torsos to the music. This got us into some small talk with her and the guy at her table. Jason, though, failed to take advantage of it. By accident, he had opened that set, but didn't proceed. He later said he didn't do anything because he thought she was with her boyfriend. I thought the guy was gay, and my gay radar is pretty accruate. When I read a guy as being gay, I'm almost always right. I then explained that he could have easily found out if he had asked, "How do you two know each other?" I guess I could have done this for him, but again, my game was shitty all night.
My point in discussing Jason is that I think he has decent natural game going. With just a little tweaking, he could easily be at a stage that will take me months to reach. He needs to work on his closing. He also needs to have more confidence with cold approaches, though his game on the dance floor is good enough that he could just close from girls he meets there.
What I like most is his ability to make targets laugh and the comments he makes are just part of his natural personality. I just can't seem to be as funny, at least when it involves girls that are strangers. Sometimes I have that ability with friends, but not when I want to open a set. He also comes off as a party guy who's having a good time at the bar. I need that. I guess if I want to be a party guy I need to relax more and not care what random people think. (Time to watch Fight Club!)
Observing other guy's approaches:
Now that I've read so much theory, I can not only critique Jason, but I can also see what other guys do wrong when they approach. We had gone to that same bar on Division in which we had talked to that set for 40+ minutes last week. It was dead except for a 3set on the top floor. Again, I as my game was weak tonight, I didn't open. On top of that, I've been brave with opening 2 sets, but still haven't opened a 3 or more set. I did notice a guy approach the set. I noticed multiple mistakes he made. First, he only was talking to one of the girls. He ignored the other two. Next, I noticed that he had done what I had been doing until Thursday. He was leaning completely into the girl. After seeing only those two things, I figured he was going to get blown out, and he was within 2 minutes. Silly me, though. I should have opened the set right after he busted out as I could have used his failure as an opener.
Total Approach Count:
It keeps getting harder to keep track of my total approaches. I guess I really should include approaches where I get blown out in 30 seconds or even get totally ignored. I'll call it 10 approaches tonight, so
35 Total Approaches so far
Jealous Girlfriend Opener:
I think it's time for me to actually try this. I tried the "tent" opener again and I'm convinced that one sucks. Still, the girls are receptive when I say that I want a female opinion on something. They then do come up with an answer for the "tent" question. I can imagine how jealous girlfriend might really work. That question definately would generate more thought than "tent." Why am I so reluctant to try an opener that has worked so well for others:
(I'm writing this in the hope that I'd get over my fear of using it)
-I'm afraid that some girl my recognize me using it and call me out. I guess I shouldn't worry about it as I doubt it has been used that much that I'm going to run into this quite frequently. If a girl busts me for using seduction material, I'm can respond in the way that was suggest in mASF. I can say that this material gets a bad name. I'll say that this stuff really about teaching guys not to make obvious mistakes and it teaches us to express our true selves.
-I'm afraid because the opener is two paragraphs long. I can see how this opener would definately not work near a loud dancefloor, but it probably will work at Alumni Club in Schaumburg (there are certain areas where one can easily have a conversation). I'm afraid that a girl might tune me out since the opener is so long and she'll walk away right in the middle of it. I also fear that she might not understand the question if I don't speak loudly enough, or she just doesn't hear part of it.
-Answer: So what? Girls have ignored my regular, "Hi" opener in the past. That stuff is going to happen anyway, so I might as well try a potentially great opener despite the risks.
-The opener just seems weird to me, but I guess that's a reason to use it. Obviously, I should trust a field tested opener over my own feelings. After all, my own thoughts an feelings on dating have lead me to be an total AFC idiot until just a few weeks ago.
I went to Alumni Club in Schaumburg on Thursday. Friday night, I hit Barleycorn on Lincoln, and then two places on Division. My game was really weak today, and I think it might be because of inner game. Part of me wants to blame it on the fact that I went without working out. All the other times I went out, I went after working out so I felt great. Today, I just didn't feel that confident or full of energy, so I think that might have shown despite me trying hide it. As I went out anyway, I figured I try to make approaches just for the practice. In doing so, I was reminded of when I'd try to put in too many hours playing poker. I'd get burnt out and then I'd end up playing on autopilot. My poker autopilot is probably still profitable in most games, but I always suspected that the diminishing returns hurt me in the long run even more by just getting me sick of playing in general. Still, poker autopilot was probably still profitable most of the time. My sarging autopilot skills are probably just a step above AFCness.
At Barleycorn, I opened a set within 5 minutes of entering the bar. That was probably my fastest open yet. I was thinking that things might be good that night, but the first set was a perfect example of the rest of the evening approaches. I saw two girls standing, so I went up to them. I said, "Hi" and I asked them if the place was always this dead. It was about 10:30, and the place was empty. They said it would fill up later. I then asked what brought them to Barleycorn. They replied that they were on a work outing. I then asked them if they were relaxing or if they were "party girls." I think this was my screwup on this set. One girl answered in a very sarcastic tone, "Yeah, we're party girls." I guess that was the wrong cold read to make. Just after she made that reply, the girls walked away.
At Barleycorn, I made a few other approaches. None of them lasted longer than a minute. I talked to some fat Asian girl who walked away from me after my third question. Jason asked me what happened because he couldn't believe how quickly she had walked away. Another approach fizzled when Jason opened these two blondes and I asked one question and just sat there feeling like an idiot. I'm not exactly sure what happened that set. I guess I phased back to a total AFC after my statement in that set.
Later, I played the part of the idiot wingman for Jason at Bootleggers. He began dancing with this 5 set of 30-something women. The area where they were congregated had a speaker right above so it was very difficult to have a conversation. The only way I could talk to Jason was to yell into his ear and vice versa. Anyway, I could tell he was getting along with them well. I think they wanted me to dance but I just stood there holding up a wall. I might have gotten over most of my fears concerning cold approaches at bars, but I still suck at dancing. I don't know how to dance and when I do dance I'm convinced it doesn't feel right. Some of that is poor inner game, but I've been told several time by female friends that I need to relax and smile more when I do try to dance. I guess I just lack that skill.
If the music hadn't been so loud near this set, I know I could have played a better wingman. I might have crashed and burned, but I would have made a good attempt at conversation. Even with the music blaring, I made several attempts to talk to various members of this group, but it was clear I had no chance for verbal game. I did find out that they were visiting from Texas and were leaving on Sunday. Maybe I gave up too easily with trying to talk to them. I'm not sure. I don't think an isolation move would have been a good move considering I could gain any rapport after yelling only a brief question into their ears.
Jason ended up dancing and grinding with them for most of the night. He felt like he couldn't get anywhere farther because they were married. Still, the two that were most into him kept hugging and kissing him when he was leaving. One woman even said they'd probably be back at Bootleggers tomorrow. I told him that he didn't have to leave on my account. I still feel that he left the bar early because I was clearly bored there. On top of that, there weren't really any sets for me to open there. I had walked through the place several times and found that all the women I could open were on the dance floor. I told him when we left that I was serious that I was willing to stay until close even though I couldn't really sarge and wasn't getting anywhere in that set.
Jason'sNatural game:
On a sidenote, I think Jason has some good potential. He just needs a little work. I think he might have been able to fclose one of the two women that were into him, but he would have had to isolate one of them away from the group. He then could have gotten their phone number and tried to hook up before Sunday. Of course, this wouldn't have been hard to pull off, but I think he should have definitely made an attempt. Sure, the women were married, but those women clearly loved dancing with him, kissing him, and grinding with them. He said he even felt up one set of tits. He had put a hand there by accident, and moved it, and she had moved his hands back on her breasts. When I told him he should have tried to fclose, he said that she had told him several times that she was married. I replied that she might have still been willing to have a ONS with him, but she wanted him to know that he would be committing adultery. I don't know, maybe reading this seduction stuff just has me thinking that this stuff happens more often then it really does. On the other hand, maybe I've gained a real insight into human behavior and this really does happen more than I thought it did.
After we left Bootleggers, I dragged Jason to Clarke's on Belmont (for Idine miles of course!). Here I noticed more of his game that I need to adopt somehow. We got seated at a single table that was in the middle of two other tables. As we were being seated, I noticed two girls sitting at the table to my right. There was a blonde, probably a 6, and a brunette, who might have been a 7, but I didn't get a good look at her. On my left was a HB7.5 blonde with glasses, and guy who I read as being gay. I told myself to greet the girls on the right as I sat down, but I guess tonight's failures made me lose confidence so I didn't. I decided to try to open a few minutes into the set. I tried to say, "Hi" to the group and was ignored. I then tried to get her attention by speaking a little louder, and again the brunette didn't say anything so I gave up. At the same time, Jason was also giving me a look that I should stop as it was clear they didn't want to talk.
Later, the brunette went to the bathroom. The blonde that started to play with her phone. Suddenly, Jason made some comment about a drunk girl behind me. This girl was so drunk that her friends had to drag her out of the restaurant. The HB6 laughed at Jason's comment. He then made a few random comments to her. By making his comment, he had opened the set, where I had failed to open by speaking directly. Jason, though explained, that the brunette just wasn't in a talking mood.
About 5 minutes later, "Opps, I Did It Again" by Britney Spears came on. Jason and the HB7.5 to my left starting singing along and waying their torsos to the music. This got us into some small talk with her and the guy at her table. Jason, though, failed to take advantage of it. By accident, he had opened that set, but didn't proceed. He later said he didn't do anything because he thought she was with her boyfriend. I thought the guy was gay, and my gay radar is pretty accruate. When I read a guy as being gay, I'm almost always right. I then explained that he could have easily found out if he had asked, "How do you two know each other?" I guess I could have done this for him, but again, my game was shitty all night.
My point in discussing Jason is that I think he has decent natural game going. With just a little tweaking, he could easily be at a stage that will take me months to reach. He needs to work on his closing. He also needs to have more confidence with cold approaches, though his game on the dance floor is good enough that he could just close from girls he meets there.
What I like most is his ability to make targets laugh and the comments he makes are just part of his natural personality. I just can't seem to be as funny, at least when it involves girls that are strangers. Sometimes I have that ability with friends, but not when I want to open a set. He also comes off as a party guy who's having a good time at the bar. I need that. I guess if I want to be a party guy I need to relax more and not care what random people think. (Time to watch Fight Club!)
Observing other guy's approaches:
Now that I've read so much theory, I can not only critique Jason, but I can also see what other guys do wrong when they approach. We had gone to that same bar on Division in which we had talked to that set for 40+ minutes last week. It was dead except for a 3set on the top floor. Again, I as my game was weak tonight, I didn't open. On top of that, I've been brave with opening 2 sets, but still haven't opened a 3 or more set. I did notice a guy approach the set. I noticed multiple mistakes he made. First, he only was talking to one of the girls. He ignored the other two. Next, I noticed that he had done what I had been doing until Thursday. He was leaning completely into the girl. After seeing only those two things, I figured he was going to get blown out, and he was within 2 minutes. Silly me, though. I should have opened the set right after he busted out as I could have used his failure as an opener.
Total Approach Count:
It keeps getting harder to keep track of my total approaches. I guess I really should include approaches where I get blown out in 30 seconds or even get totally ignored. I'll call it 10 approaches tonight, so
35 Total Approaches so far
Jealous Girlfriend Opener:
I think it's time for me to actually try this. I tried the "tent" opener again and I'm convinced that one sucks. Still, the girls are receptive when I say that I want a female opinion on something. They then do come up with an answer for the "tent" question. I can imagine how jealous girlfriend might really work. That question definately would generate more thought than "tent." Why am I so reluctant to try an opener that has worked so well for others:
(I'm writing this in the hope that I'd get over my fear of using it)
-I'm afraid that some girl my recognize me using it and call me out. I guess I shouldn't worry about it as I doubt it has been used that much that I'm going to run into this quite frequently. If a girl busts me for using seduction material, I'm can respond in the way that was suggest in mASF. I can say that this material gets a bad name. I'll say that this stuff really about teaching guys not to make obvious mistakes and it teaches us to express our true selves.
-I'm afraid because the opener is two paragraphs long. I can see how this opener would definately not work near a loud dancefloor, but it probably will work at Alumni Club in Schaumburg (there are certain areas where one can easily have a conversation). I'm afraid that a girl might tune me out since the opener is so long and she'll walk away right in the middle of it. I also fear that she might not understand the question if I don't speak loudly enough, or she just doesn't hear part of it.
-Answer: So what? Girls have ignored my regular, "Hi" opener in the past. That stuff is going to happen anyway, so I might as well try a potentially great opener despite the risks.
-The opener just seems weird to me, but I guess that's a reason to use it. Obviously, I should trust a field tested opener over my own feelings. After all, my own thoughts an feelings on dating have lead me to be an total AFC idiot until just a few weeks ago.
