Friday, December 30, 2005
Approach Anxiety:
For some reason, I had approach anxiety today during club game. Part of the problem was that we started the night late so I didn't get any time to warm up. When I get approach anxiety again, I have to remember three points.
1) I have to believe that I offering value to the girls. If they let the sarge go on long enough, they'll realize that I actually will make their lives more interesting.
2) Rejection isn't a big deal. I'll feel worse if I don't make approaches than I would if I got horribly shot down. Nowadays, I think my approach anxiety is less about rejection (though that's still there) but more about how I hate having to deal with the awkward stalls in the conversation. Still, rejection and stalls are way lesser evils than not approaching at all.
3) Today, Seamas and I sat next to this set at Mother's Bar on Division. We saw a HB7 or 7.5 two set sitting there. I violated the 3 second rule so we ended up not talking to them right away. Just as I was almost ready to approach, some tool started talking to them. I thought he'd bust out right away as he was leaning into the table. He actually last quite awhile. At one point, the one girl left the friend with the guy. This was another mistake I made. I knew she was a lone wolf at that point and Seamas even told me to approach her but I didn't. Some AMOG ended up approaching her. About 10 minutes later, both guys were busted out of the set. You could tell by the body language that they girls weren't interested. Previously, they had been close to the guys, but now they were on the opposite side of the table and they were keeping the guys away. Seamas read strongly that the girls wanted the guys to leave. I knew that we should go AMOG them, but I wasn't feeling in the zone.
Eventually, Seamas went up to one of the girls and said that we were just about to talk to them when that tool went up. She was cool with him. He just said that and then walk back to the table. She followed and talked to him, but then they left. He should have kept talking to her. She had told him that she and her friend were leaving b/c the two tools wouldn't leave them alone.
Conclusion: Approach anxiety resulted in those girls having a bad evening b/c we allowed those idiots to move in on them.
For some reason, I had approach anxiety today during club game. Part of the problem was that we started the night late so I didn't get any time to warm up. When I get approach anxiety again, I have to remember three points.
1) I have to believe that I offering value to the girls. If they let the sarge go on long enough, they'll realize that I actually will make their lives more interesting.
2) Rejection isn't a big deal. I'll feel worse if I don't make approaches than I would if I got horribly shot down. Nowadays, I think my approach anxiety is less about rejection (though that's still there) but more about how I hate having to deal with the awkward stalls in the conversation. Still, rejection and stalls are way lesser evils than not approaching at all.
3) Today, Seamas and I sat next to this set at Mother's Bar on Division. We saw a HB7 or 7.5 two set sitting there. I violated the 3 second rule so we ended up not talking to them right away. Just as I was almost ready to approach, some tool started talking to them. I thought he'd bust out right away as he was leaning into the table. He actually last quite awhile. At one point, the one girl left the friend with the guy. This was another mistake I made. I knew she was a lone wolf at that point and Seamas even told me to approach her but I didn't. Some AMOG ended up approaching her. About 10 minutes later, both guys were busted out of the set. You could tell by the body language that they girls weren't interested. Previously, they had been close to the guys, but now they were on the opposite side of the table and they were keeping the guys away. Seamas read strongly that the girls wanted the guys to leave. I knew that we should go AMOG them, but I wasn't feeling in the zone.
Eventually, Seamas went up to one of the girls and said that we were just about to talk to them when that tool went up. She was cool with him. He just said that and then walk back to the table. She followed and talked to him, but then they left. He should have kept talking to her. She had told him that she and her friend were leaving b/c the two tools wouldn't leave them alone.
Conclusion: Approach anxiety resulted in those girls having a bad evening b/c we allowed those idiots to move in on them.
