Saturday, December 03, 2005
Back at Alumni Club:
I have some entries that I made during the plane ride from Kahului & Kona. I'll copy & paste those later, but I'll make this report first. I got into town early Friday morning and I ended up sleeping from 9:30am until 8:30pm. I guess all those nights of getting 4 hours of sleep in Maui and getting less than an hour of sleep on the plane added up. I woke up and ran for 15 minutes at the gym. Then I put on a Hawaiin shirt and my fresh lei and I hit Alumni Club. I felt like I was in a great mood. I had just worked out, and I had just had an awesome trip in Maui. I figured tonight would be a good sarging day.
I walked into Alumni Club and I ordered an Amaretto Stone Sour. It was $4.50 which is a lot less than the $8 I paid for one at Spaz's in Kaapanali. One of the female bartenders noticed my lei and said, "You got 'leied" tonight." I laughed and got ready to open some sets. I walked towards the stairs and saw two women sitting a table. I didn't use a routine. I just said, "Hi, are you two having fun?" They said, "Yes," and then asked me how I was doing. I said, "Great. What brings you out here, are you celebrating anything?" The girl on my left then said that the girl on my right was getting married. I congratulated her and then tried to go into the best friend's test. The one on the left then asked, "What's the punchline?" In retrospect, I guess I was getting shittested, but I just congratulated the engaged girl and ejected.
Wrong Frame:
I think I had the wrong frame tonight. I think tonight's frame is closer to the frame I should have, but I still think I need a tweak it. Previously, I'd go out and worry that girls weren't going to like me. Today, I really did feel like I had something to offer women I was talking to, but I also found myself not willing to plow through a set. In the situation above, the engaged girl was interesting, but the friend was boring and was giving me shit tests. In the past, two things would have happened. On my more AFC type days, I'd give up because I'd think I was a loser and I was afraid I'd get rejected. On my better days, I'd keep plogging along because I believed that I should either close or get rejected. Today, I just felt less willing to put up with bullshit, and maybe that's a good development. I stopped talking to the set above because I just didn't want to put up with the girls shit. She was like a 6.5 and screw her. If I'm going to put in the effort to plod through a set that's showing resistance, then the girls better be hot.
Wrong mission with employee of the bar:
I saw some girls sitting by herself upstairs. At the beginning, I guessed it was too good to be true and I was right. It turns out she worked there. I went into the ESP test and I missed her numbers. I then tried to ask her what she does for fun, and she mentioned a boyfriend. I gave her my C&F line, "You just met me and you're already telling me your problems?" She didn't respond to it. I then asked her an open question and she pretended to have to go talk to someone and left. It's not a big deal, but I should have altered my strategy. I was trying to run game on her when I really should have just gotten cool with her so I'd have social proof in the future.
Needed to plod but didn't:
Thinking back on the night, there was a weak moment. I had seen these HB7.5's walking around the bar and dance floor several times. I noticed them because I was circling around looking for more sets to open. I decided to open them by commenting on this, "Hi, did you two come her to make laps around the bar?" They giggled and then said they were looking for their friends.
Me: I bet they are out there on the dance floor.
Them: Maybe.
After a short pause, I made a cold read: I bet you (HB on the left) are the outgoing party girl and she (HB on the right) are the quieter observer type. (It wasn't too hard to guess as the HBleft was moving her body to the music while the one on the right was just standing there.) HBleft: Wow, that's pretty accurate actually.
I don't really remember what I said here. I should have gone into a routine or kept the conversation going, but instead I just said there and then they said they were going to go back to looking for their friends. This set would have been worth plodding through, but I let it stall for whatever reason. I know it wasn't fear of rejection. I guess it was more because I wasn't that into the game tonight.
UG w/ bitch shield:
I approached two UG6's. I figured it'll go well because I'm pretty sure I'm better looking than both of them. I say, "Hi" and then do some small talk. I then try to go into the tent routine when there's a pause in the conversation. At no point in the set did I feel like I had their attention. They seemed distant and I was asking myself why I was talking to this set. I remember the UGblonde giving me this weird look that I usually would expect from HB8.5 or better. It's the look you get when you haven't demonstrated enough value and they are wondering why the fuck you are talking to them. When that happens with HB's, my inner game usually suffers but I think I got more pissed in this situation then depressed. Maybe I'm still having an inner game problem because I really shouldn't care what the sets think, especially this one. Here, I just thought what I described above: I felt like I was higher value and I was wondering who this UG thought she was giving me that kind of attitude.
Rick:
It seems like every night that I go out solo, I end up bonding with some guy there. Usually, I'm able to convert that person to a wingman. This time, I just ended up talking to a Spanish guy named Rick and using his location as a basecamp. I still feel good whenever I do this because I never would have been socialable enough in the past to be able to do this. Now, if I could only have this batting average with women.
Birthday guy:
I saw some birthday party upstairs and I decided to open this mostly guy set just to do it. I said, "What's up?" to someone in the group and asked who's bithday it was. They pointed to some older guy and say, "It's his 60th birthday." I shook his hand and said that it couldn't be his 60th birthday. I said I'd believe 50. He joked that it was his 40th. Then he asked me who I was. I just said I noticed they were having a great time so I wanted to see what the deal was. He said that I should bring some girls. I said that they were on the dance floor. The guy was kind of a dick, but whatever. I'm happy just to socialize and show that I don't give a fuck: I talk to everyone.
Married woman:
While I was talking to Rick, I saw a HB7 (it does seem like I give many girls that rating. I guess there are a lot of average looking girls at Alumni Club) standing at the corner of the bar. She was waiting a long time to order. I decided to walk up. I greet her and then say that she has to assert herself more so she can get a drink. I've seen girls have a hard time ordering a drink before and they seem to appreciate that I can get the bartender to take their drink order faster. I talk to her for a bit and she says she's here celebrating a niece's birthday or something. She then mentions that she's here with her husband. LOL. I still talk to her for a little bit until she gets her drink and then I eject. Whenever a bomb like that gets dropped, I like to stick around to show that I don't give a fuck and that I'm just there to talk.
Lessons:
The sets are getting less memorable. I'm sure I missed a few there. In the future, I'm probably not going to write about as many sets because I'm finding that I learn less from a lot of sets. I guess I did learn some lessons from the sets above but in the future I think I'll only be writing about 2-3 sets a night instead of all, or most of them.
-I think I need to plod more for practice. Today, I got into a nexting mode and I ended up stalling on a set where I should have plodded.
-I think there's nothing wrong with nexting. I should plod for practice but I do find many sets to be boring. Why put effort in that type of set? I think I should plod sets with HB8+ but not sets with girls that are ugly or boring. Nexting shows that I do qualify girls now. Nexting gives me more time and energy to open more sets. I just have to make sure that I next for the right reasons and not because I fear getting rejected.
-While I didn't get to practice this skill tonight, I know that I must remember to actually try to close when I go out next time as that is a current sticking point.
-I think I felt self conscious about the routines which is why I didn't use them as much. I have to remember that routines are good. Still, I think Saturday last week went smoother beause I had a decent wingman, and because I was able to find a lone wolf.
-I'm repeating myself, but I do think I've made progress on a level which I didn't expect right now. I find myself getting bored faster with sets and I do have to believe that it showing that I now have standards. I need to demonstrate value with the opener and then start qualifying.
Approaches today: approximately 8?
I have some entries that I made during the plane ride from Kahului & Kona. I'll copy & paste those later, but I'll make this report first. I got into town early Friday morning and I ended up sleeping from 9:30am until 8:30pm. I guess all those nights of getting 4 hours of sleep in Maui and getting less than an hour of sleep on the plane added up. I woke up and ran for 15 minutes at the gym. Then I put on a Hawaiin shirt and my fresh lei and I hit Alumni Club. I felt like I was in a great mood. I had just worked out, and I had just had an awesome trip in Maui. I figured tonight would be a good sarging day.
I walked into Alumni Club and I ordered an Amaretto Stone Sour. It was $4.50 which is a lot less than the $8 I paid for one at Spaz's in Kaapanali. One of the female bartenders noticed my lei and said, "You got 'leied" tonight." I laughed and got ready to open some sets. I walked towards the stairs and saw two women sitting a table. I didn't use a routine. I just said, "Hi, are you two having fun?" They said, "Yes," and then asked me how I was doing. I said, "Great. What brings you out here, are you celebrating anything?" The girl on my left then said that the girl on my right was getting married. I congratulated her and then tried to go into the best friend's test. The one on the left then asked, "What's the punchline?" In retrospect, I guess I was getting shittested, but I just congratulated the engaged girl and ejected.
Wrong Frame:
I think I had the wrong frame tonight. I think tonight's frame is closer to the frame I should have, but I still think I need a tweak it. Previously, I'd go out and worry that girls weren't going to like me. Today, I really did feel like I had something to offer women I was talking to, but I also found myself not willing to plow through a set. In the situation above, the engaged girl was interesting, but the friend was boring and was giving me shit tests. In the past, two things would have happened. On my more AFC type days, I'd give up because I'd think I was a loser and I was afraid I'd get rejected. On my better days, I'd keep plogging along because I believed that I should either close or get rejected. Today, I just felt less willing to put up with bullshit, and maybe that's a good development. I stopped talking to the set above because I just didn't want to put up with the girls shit. She was like a 6.5 and screw her. If I'm going to put in the effort to plod through a set that's showing resistance, then the girls better be hot.
Wrong mission with employee of the bar:
I saw some girls sitting by herself upstairs. At the beginning, I guessed it was too good to be true and I was right. It turns out she worked there. I went into the ESP test and I missed her numbers. I then tried to ask her what she does for fun, and she mentioned a boyfriend. I gave her my C&F line, "You just met me and you're already telling me your problems?" She didn't respond to it. I then asked her an open question and she pretended to have to go talk to someone and left. It's not a big deal, but I should have altered my strategy. I was trying to run game on her when I really should have just gotten cool with her so I'd have social proof in the future.
Needed to plod but didn't:
Thinking back on the night, there was a weak moment. I had seen these HB7.5's walking around the bar and dance floor several times. I noticed them because I was circling around looking for more sets to open. I decided to open them by commenting on this, "Hi, did you two come her to make laps around the bar?" They giggled and then said they were looking for their friends.
Me: I bet they are out there on the dance floor.
Them: Maybe.
After a short pause, I made a cold read: I bet you (HB on the left) are the outgoing party girl and she (HB on the right) are the quieter observer type. (It wasn't too hard to guess as the HBleft was moving her body to the music while the one on the right was just standing there.) HBleft: Wow, that's pretty accurate actually.
I don't really remember what I said here. I should have gone into a routine or kept the conversation going, but instead I just said there and then they said they were going to go back to looking for their friends. This set would have been worth plodding through, but I let it stall for whatever reason. I know it wasn't fear of rejection. I guess it was more because I wasn't that into the game tonight.
UG w/ bitch shield:
I approached two UG6's. I figured it'll go well because I'm pretty sure I'm better looking than both of them. I say, "Hi" and then do some small talk. I then try to go into the tent routine when there's a pause in the conversation. At no point in the set did I feel like I had their attention. They seemed distant and I was asking myself why I was talking to this set. I remember the UGblonde giving me this weird look that I usually would expect from HB8.5 or better. It's the look you get when you haven't demonstrated enough value and they are wondering why the fuck you are talking to them. When that happens with HB's, my inner game usually suffers but I think I got more pissed in this situation then depressed. Maybe I'm still having an inner game problem because I really shouldn't care what the sets think, especially this one. Here, I just thought what I described above: I felt like I was higher value and I was wondering who this UG thought she was giving me that kind of attitude.
Rick:
It seems like every night that I go out solo, I end up bonding with some guy there. Usually, I'm able to convert that person to a wingman. This time, I just ended up talking to a Spanish guy named Rick and using his location as a basecamp. I still feel good whenever I do this because I never would have been socialable enough in the past to be able to do this. Now, if I could only have this batting average with women.
Birthday guy:
I saw some birthday party upstairs and I decided to open this mostly guy set just to do it. I said, "What's up?" to someone in the group and asked who's bithday it was. They pointed to some older guy and say, "It's his 60th birthday." I shook his hand and said that it couldn't be his 60th birthday. I said I'd believe 50. He joked that it was his 40th. Then he asked me who I was. I just said I noticed they were having a great time so I wanted to see what the deal was. He said that I should bring some girls. I said that they were on the dance floor. The guy was kind of a dick, but whatever. I'm happy just to socialize and show that I don't give a fuck: I talk to everyone.
Married woman:
While I was talking to Rick, I saw a HB7 (it does seem like I give many girls that rating. I guess there are a lot of average looking girls at Alumni Club) standing at the corner of the bar. She was waiting a long time to order. I decided to walk up. I greet her and then say that she has to assert herself more so she can get a drink. I've seen girls have a hard time ordering a drink before and they seem to appreciate that I can get the bartender to take their drink order faster. I talk to her for a bit and she says she's here celebrating a niece's birthday or something. She then mentions that she's here with her husband. LOL. I still talk to her for a little bit until she gets her drink and then I eject. Whenever a bomb like that gets dropped, I like to stick around to show that I don't give a fuck and that I'm just there to talk.
Lessons:
The sets are getting less memorable. I'm sure I missed a few there. In the future, I'm probably not going to write about as many sets because I'm finding that I learn less from a lot of sets. I guess I did learn some lessons from the sets above but in the future I think I'll only be writing about 2-3 sets a night instead of all, or most of them.
-I think I need to plod more for practice. Today, I got into a nexting mode and I ended up stalling on a set where I should have plodded.
-I think there's nothing wrong with nexting. I should plod for practice but I do find many sets to be boring. Why put effort in that type of set? I think I should plod sets with HB8+ but not sets with girls that are ugly or boring. Nexting shows that I do qualify girls now. Nexting gives me more time and energy to open more sets. I just have to make sure that I next for the right reasons and not because I fear getting rejected.
-While I didn't get to practice this skill tonight, I know that I must remember to actually try to close when I go out next time as that is a current sticking point.
-I think I felt self conscious about the routines which is why I didn't use them as much. I have to remember that routines are good. Still, I think Saturday last week went smoother beause I had a decent wingman, and because I was able to find a lone wolf.
-I'm repeating myself, but I do think I've made progress on a level which I didn't expect right now. I find myself getting bored faster with sets and I do have to believe that it showing that I now have standards. I need to demonstrate value with the opener and then start qualifying.
Approaches today: approximately 8?
