Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Sticking Point: The #Close
This has been my biggest sticking point. I had the sarge at AC Schaumburg with the twin sister and the tatoo girl in Kaanapali, Maui. Both of those sets lasted over 30 minutes and I know that I could have number closed but I failed to do so. I think part of the reason is that the sarge has gone well so far at that point that I don't want to risk messing things up. I know it's a stupid way of thinking, but it's programmed into my psyche.
Dead club, warm ups:
We went to Cadillac Ranch in Barlett. I hadn't been there in a few years, but I will definately go there again. The setup is still good and there are multiple areas where you can have a conversation as the music isn't overwhelming. Tonight was slow, but there was no cover. We had originally gotten there at 10PM, but we could tell by the parking lot that things were dead. Seamas suggested that we go grab food. We came back at about midnight and things still looked pretty dead but I said we should go in as it would be better than just going home.
When we walked in we saw that there weren't that many sets to open. There were a few couples and a few mixed sets. There was also an older warpig set, but before we could even talk about opening them, they left. We grabbed a table and I sat there for at least 1.5 hours without sarging. Around 1am, more people arrive and the club population tripled in size. Finally, I decided to get myself into sarging mode. I have now decided that I have to stop sitting down. The physics saying "A body in motion tends to stay in motion. A body are rest tends to stay at rest" is very applicable here. When I'm sitting down, I feel like I don't have the energy to get up and sarge. When I'm constatly walking around scoping the place out, I feel like I have more energy. Also, by moving around, I run into more sets and I end up opening more.
I stood for about 10 minutes and still didn't feel like I could sarge. Finally, Seamas said he wanted to check out the dance floor. He had been hesitant to get up because he wanted to hold on to the table. If we are to do sarging and maintain a table, we need to go with more people. Some warpig pivots or AFC's are good for this task. We got up and walked around and then we went to the bathroom. At some point, I just clicked on "sarge mode" and started things rolling. I approached some guys with some random BS questions to get myself in a social mood. I opened about three guys then I walked around. An AMOG with a girl commented that I was "lighting up the place with my shirt." My immediate gut reaction was to whip out some AMOG line like "I'm glad you're looking out for my fashion sense," but I decided that the comment wasn't obnoxious so I just noded and kept walking.
One set:
I walked around near the entrance of the bar and opened this 3 set that had been sitting there the whole night. I opened an HB6.5 with piercings: HBPierced. I opened with my usual tent opener: I want to get a female opinion. Would you date a guy that lived a tent?
Pierced: No.
Me (I used to get this answer a bunch of times when I first started using this opener, so this is almost the best answer that I can hear. The last few outings, I've been getting more thought out answers which actually caused me to stall b/c I had no idea how to respond to a non "No" answer). Isn't that kind of shallow? Come on, I don't believe it. I hear about all these romance novels that you women love. The guy falls in love with the pool guy or stable hand. You're telling me if a Brad Pitt look-a-like came in, you'd ditch him if he lived in a tent. Pretend we're standing here, and this guy walked in. Pretend that I'm gay for a second, and imagine you look over and make eye contact with him. Your eyes stay locked and you start to feel that butterfly feeling in your stomach. He walks over and you feel completely comfortable talking to him. If you found out a few weeks later that he lived in a tent, would you dump him?
We then fluffed for a few minutes. At one point, HbPierced friend started to look bored. I noticed this because Pierced leaned over to make a comment. I then decided to disarm this obstacle so I talk to her.
I believed I said, "You look like your getting tired. What's wrong?"
Redhead: Nothing. I'm fine.
I then fluff talked her for a bit and I was thinking that it would be great if I had a wing. Luckily, Seamas had decided to show up. He hovered in back, which I think is a good move. I've had wings just come up and stand next to me. I don't like this because of what has happened in the past. I might be in the middle of a good routine or story and I find that the sudden arrival of my wing created an awkward break. This time, I motioned for him to come over and I said in his ear, "I need you to disarm this redhead." I then asked the redhead what her name is and then I introduce my wing.
I went back to the Pierced girl but she seemed less interested. We fluffed for a bit and then some guy friend starting talking to her. He left and I tried to talk a bit but she backturned me. I just stood there for a few seconds contemplating my move when suddenly this blonde that was next to HBPierced started talking to me.
Shirt got me opened leading to good rapport:
I found out that this woman was 38 but she was still good looking. I'd give her like a 7 or 7.5 but Seamas thinks she was an 8. Rating don't really matter that much. Mostly they are ego stroking. Someone called out some people in the FR b/c they constantly report on supposed HB9's & HB10's. Anyway, she opened me about this shirt. (I love these Hawaii shirts and I wish I had bought more. The thing is that I know I'm going to end up being the Hawaiian shirt guy if I keep doing this in the same venues.) She said that she used to see a lot of these shirts when she lived in Florida. I said that I got this shirt in Hawaii.
Girl: I've never been there.
Me: It's great. You should go there, but I recommend not going to Honolulu.
Girl: My parents have been to Maui and... Waikiki, wherever that is.
Me: It's in Honolulu. I was just in Maui a few weeks ago. It's great, I'd recommend that. It all depends on what you like to do though. What do you do for fun.
Girl: I love roller coasters.
We chat about roller coasters for about 10 or more minutes. This was great because she was talking a lot. Near the end, she started kinoing me while telling the story. Also, I should mention that I was facing sideways at the beginning of the sarge. At one point, I think near the beginning of this roller coaster thread, I realized she was fully facing me. Once I noticed this, I immediately turned to face her completely. Later, I found out that she is a HUGE Stephen King fan. That's great because I used to read Stephen King a ton when I was younger.
We talk for a long time and I think about, I think this girl would have been wild. She was definately adventurous and she even mentioned she was bi. She says that she loves reading true crime serial killer stuff b/c she likes to know what goes on in people's heads. I brought up the movie "Monster." She then commented that she loves Charlize Theron b/c she thinks Charlize is incredibly sexy. She then mentioned that she's bi b/c I guess she felt that came out weird. I agreed about Charlize but I said my current favorite is Jessica Alba.
Passed up a good spot for the # close.
At one point we stalled and I tried to do the number game on her. When I guessed "3" as her first number, she said she hadn't thought of a number yet when I asked. I then asked her to pick a different number between 1-10. She sat there thinking and then I said, "What's your number."
Girl: Well, I don't have a home phone, I only have a cell.
Me: No. What's your number between 1 and 10. You said that you needed time to think last time.
I'm a fucking dumb ass. Obviously, she wanted to give me her number. She had slipped on the question I had asked b/c it had been on her mind. I had gotten several good IOI's, kino several times, good eye contact, and she was into the conversation. Now she did this. The thought crossed my mind that I should have closed right there, but I was too into running my routine. Also, I'm sure the fact that I fear #closing and that I'm inexperienced in this part of the game contributed to my mistake.
Mistake #2: Busting in rapport stage:
After the #test failed, I busted her by saying that she was overthinking the numbers and that's why my reads were wrong. I then told her that I could do better. By asking her four (it's five questions, but I slipped) questions, I tell her stuff about herself that she might not even know. Girl: How did you know how to do that? Is that your job?
Me: No.
Girl: What is your job?
Me: Cigarette lighter repairman and I run a midnight auto business at night.
Girl: Really? What's that?
Me: It's the only business where the parts of a whole are worth more than the whole. I have these independent contractors who gets wholes for me and then I break them down into the higher valued parts. I then sell those to someone else. I'm like a middleman.
Girl: She's either buying it or doesn't want to bust me on it.
Me: You do realize that I'm just messing with you right?
I then tried to do the Cube again.
Girl: I can't picture anything. I guess I can't block out the club music.
Me (major busting, probably overboard. Seamas thinks that she probably felt low value since she was older. I had demonstrated value and it really bad to bust her that much. Also, I realized quickly afterwards that I had busted when I had already been in rapport. Busting is for the attraction stage.) Why not? You should be able to as you work here. (I found out that she and the redhead worked at CR.)
Girl: I can't do it.
Me: I thought you adverturous and that you had a great imagination. I then looked away and did a slight takeaway.
She then started talking to this AFC bartender guy that seemed to be off duty as well. She walked over like 5 feet to talk to him. I stood there like an idiot and then I decided to open a guy that was standing next to me so I wouldn't feel like a tool.
Lessons:
-I need to make my first approach as soon as possible because I become a machine after that.
-I'm used to sarging alone. When I do that, I open guys first to warm up and then I get in the right zone and I start opening girls. When I'm with wings, I find that I use them as crutches. I'll talk to them and that doesn't get me into the right sarging mood. I need to leave them early and start opening guys.
-I shouldn't be surprised that I worked better in this club. The girls could actually hear me. I seem to do well in these situations. I have to avoid the defeaning clubs because I have very little game there.
-I need to focus my energy on # closing. Once I do it, I know it'll start to disappear as a sticking point. I know the lines but I haven't actually used them. I plan on using the following routine, "I've enjoyed talking to you. What steps would we have to take to make sure we can talk again?"
If the girl doesn't offer her number, I'll say, "It's the 21st Century and all. You'd think we could figure out a way to talk when we're not together. Hmm. (pull out cell phone). Take this little device. I think it might be able to help us."
-Stop busting in rapport stage. If I bust, limit it to one bust, and not a barrage of busts.
-I should have reopened the girl. I could have disarmed the AFC coworker and talked to her again. Instead, I walked away and looked for more sets to open. At this time it was like 3:20 and the bar was dead. No sets for me so I stood around watching some girls and guys making out on the dance floor.
-I stalled several times with the other 2 girls, but I made sure to keep plodding. I'd go into another routine. I need to just ask random, open-ended questions, if I run out of routines.
-I must always remember not to be too critical of myself. Seamas reminded me that I got pretty far and I definately could have number closed. Next time, I just have to do it. This is huge progress from before when I could only make conversations like 1-2 minutes. This is immeasureable better than when I used to stand around the entire night and make zero approaches.
This has been my biggest sticking point. I had the sarge at AC Schaumburg with the twin sister and the tatoo girl in Kaanapali, Maui. Both of those sets lasted over 30 minutes and I know that I could have number closed but I failed to do so. I think part of the reason is that the sarge has gone well so far at that point that I don't want to risk messing things up. I know it's a stupid way of thinking, but it's programmed into my psyche.
Dead club, warm ups:
We went to Cadillac Ranch in Barlett. I hadn't been there in a few years, but I will definately go there again. The setup is still good and there are multiple areas where you can have a conversation as the music isn't overwhelming. Tonight was slow, but there was no cover. We had originally gotten there at 10PM, but we could tell by the parking lot that things were dead. Seamas suggested that we go grab food. We came back at about midnight and things still looked pretty dead but I said we should go in as it would be better than just going home.
When we walked in we saw that there weren't that many sets to open. There were a few couples and a few mixed sets. There was also an older warpig set, but before we could even talk about opening them, they left. We grabbed a table and I sat there for at least 1.5 hours without sarging. Around 1am, more people arrive and the club population tripled in size. Finally, I decided to get myself into sarging mode. I have now decided that I have to stop sitting down. The physics saying "A body in motion tends to stay in motion. A body are rest tends to stay at rest" is very applicable here. When I'm sitting down, I feel like I don't have the energy to get up and sarge. When I'm constatly walking around scoping the place out, I feel like I have more energy. Also, by moving around, I run into more sets and I end up opening more.
I stood for about 10 minutes and still didn't feel like I could sarge. Finally, Seamas said he wanted to check out the dance floor. He had been hesitant to get up because he wanted to hold on to the table. If we are to do sarging and maintain a table, we need to go with more people. Some warpig pivots or AFC's are good for this task. We got up and walked around and then we went to the bathroom. At some point, I just clicked on "sarge mode" and started things rolling. I approached some guys with some random BS questions to get myself in a social mood. I opened about three guys then I walked around. An AMOG with a girl commented that I was "lighting up the place with my
One set:
I walked around near the entrance of the bar and opened this 3 set that had been sitting there the whole night. I opened an HB6.5 with piercings: HBPierced. I opened with my usual tent opener: I want to get a female opinion. Would you date a guy that lived a tent?
Pierced: No.
Me (I used to get this answer a bunch of times when I first started using this opener, so this is almost the best answer that I can hear. The last few outings, I've been getting more thought out answers which actually caused me to stall b/c I had no idea how to respond to a non "No" answer). Isn't that kind of shallow? Come on, I don't believe it. I hear about all these romance novels that you women love. The guy falls in love with the pool guy or stable hand. You're telling me if a Brad Pitt look-a-like came in, you'd ditch him if he lived in a tent. Pretend we're standing here, and this guy walked in. Pretend that I'm gay for a second, and imagine you look over and make eye contact with him. Your eyes stay locked and you start to feel that butterfly feeling in your stomach. He walks over and you feel completely comfortable talking to him. If you found out a few weeks later that he lived in a tent, would you dump him?
We then fluffed for a few minutes. At one point, HbPierced friend started to look bored. I noticed this because Pierced leaned over to make a comment. I then decided to disarm this obstacle so I talk to her.
I believed I said, "You look like your getting tired. What's wrong?"
Redhead: Nothing. I'm fine.
I then fluff talked her for a bit and I was thinking that it would be great if I had a wing. Luckily, Seamas had decided to show up. He hovered in back, which I think is a good move. I've had wings just come up and stand next to me. I don't like this because of what has happened in the past. I might be in the middle of a good routine or story and I find that the sudden arrival of my wing created an awkward break. This time, I motioned for him to come over and I said in his ear, "I need you to disarm this redhead." I then asked the redhead what her name is and then I introduce my wing.
I went back to the Pierced girl but she seemed less interested. We fluffed for a bit and then some guy friend starting talking to her. He left and I tried to talk a bit but she backturned me. I just stood there for a few seconds contemplating my move when suddenly this blonde that was next to HBPierced started talking to me.
Shirt got me opened leading to good rapport:
I found out that this woman was 38 but she was still good looking. I'd give her like a 7 or 7.5 but Seamas thinks she was an 8. Rating don't really matter that much. Mostly they are ego stroking. Someone called out some people in the FR b/c they constantly report on supposed HB9's & HB10's. Anyway, she opened me about this shirt. (I love these Hawaii shirts and I wish I had bought more. The thing is that I know I'm going to end up being the Hawaiian shirt guy if I keep doing this in the same venues.) She said that she used to see a lot of these shirts when she lived in Florida. I said that I got this shirt in Hawaii.
Girl: I've never been there.
Me: It's great. You should go there, but I recommend not going to Honolulu.
Girl: My parents have been to Maui and... Waikiki, wherever that is.
Me: It's in Honolulu. I was just in Maui a few weeks ago. It's great, I'd recommend that. It all depends on what you like to do though. What do you do for fun.
Girl: I love roller coasters.
We chat about roller coasters for about 10 or more minutes. This was great because she was talking a lot. Near the end, she started kinoing me while telling the story. Also, I should mention that I was facing sideways at the beginning of the sarge. At one point, I think near the beginning of this roller coaster thread, I realized she was fully facing me. Once I noticed this, I immediately turned to face her completely. Later, I found out that she is a HUGE Stephen King fan. That's great because I used to read Stephen King a ton when I was younger.
We talk for a long time and I think about, I think this girl would have been wild. She was definately adventurous and she even mentioned she was bi. She says that she loves reading true crime serial killer stuff b/c she likes to know what goes on in people's heads. I brought up the movie "Monster." She then commented that she loves Charlize Theron b/c she thinks Charlize is incredibly sexy. She then mentioned that she's bi b/c I guess she felt that came out weird. I agreed about Charlize but I said my current favorite is Jessica Alba.
Passed up a good spot for the # close.
At one point we stalled and I tried to do the number game on her. When I guessed "3" as her first number, she said she hadn't thought of a number yet when I asked. I then asked her to pick a different number between 1-10. She sat there thinking and then I said, "What's your number."
Girl: Well, I don't have a home phone, I only have a cell.
Me: No. What's your number between 1 and 10. You said that you needed time to think last time.
I'm a fucking dumb ass. Obviously, she wanted to give me her number. She had slipped on the question I had asked b/c it had been on her mind. I had gotten several good IOI's, kino several times, good eye contact, and she was into the conversation. Now she did this. The thought crossed my mind that I should have closed right there, but I was too into running my routine. Also, I'm sure the fact that I fear #closing and that I'm inexperienced in this part of the game contributed to my mistake.
Mistake #2: Busting in rapport stage:
After the #test failed, I busted her by saying that she was overthinking the numbers and that's why my reads were wrong. I then told her that I could do better. By asking her four (it's five questions, but I slipped) questions, I tell her stuff about herself that she might not even know. Girl: How did you know how to do that? Is that your job?
Me: No.
Girl: What is your job?
Me: Cigarette lighter repairman and I run a midnight auto business at night.
Girl: Really? What's that?
Me: It's the only business where the parts of a whole are worth more than the whole. I have these independent contractors who gets wholes for me and then I break them down into the higher valued parts. I then sell those to someone else. I'm like a middleman.
Girl: She's either buying it or doesn't want to bust me on it.
Me: You do realize that I'm just messing with you right?
I then tried to do the Cube again.
Girl: I can't picture anything. I guess I can't block out the club music.
Me (major busting, probably overboard. Seamas thinks that she probably felt low value since she was older. I had demonstrated value and it really bad to bust her that much. Also, I realized quickly afterwards that I had busted when I had already been in rapport. Busting is for the attraction stage.) Why not? You should be able to as you work here. (I found out that she and the redhead worked at CR.)
Girl: I can't do it.
Me: I thought you adverturous and that you had a great imagination. I then looked away and did a slight takeaway.
She then started talking to this AFC bartender guy that seemed to be off duty as well. She walked over like 5 feet to talk to him. I stood there like an idiot and then I decided to open a guy that was standing next to me so I wouldn't feel like a tool.
Lessons:
-I need to make my first approach as soon as possible because I become a machine after that.
-I'm used to sarging alone. When I do that, I open guys first to warm up and then I get in the right zone and I start opening girls. When I'm with wings, I find that I use them as crutches. I'll talk to them and that doesn't get me into the right sarging mood. I need to leave them early and start opening guys.
-I shouldn't be surprised that I worked better in this club. The girls could actually hear me. I seem to do well in these situations. I have to avoid the defeaning clubs because I have very little game there.
-I need to focus my energy on # closing. Once I do it, I know it'll start to disappear as a sticking point. I know the lines but I haven't actually used them. I plan on using the following routine, "I've enjoyed talking to you. What steps would we have to take to make sure we can talk again?"
If the girl doesn't offer her number, I'll say, "It's the 21st Century and all. You'd think we could figure out a way to talk when we're not together. Hmm. (pull out cell phone). Take this little device. I think it might be able to help us."
-Stop busting in rapport stage. If I bust, limit it to one bust, and not a barrage of busts.
-I should have reopened the girl. I could have disarmed the AFC coworker and talked to her again. Instead, I walked away and looked for more sets to open. At this time it was like 3:20 and the bar was dead. No sets for me so I stood around watching some girls and guys making out on the dance floor.
-I stalled several times with the other 2 girls, but I made sure to keep plodding. I'd go into another routine. I need to just ask random, open-ended questions, if I run out of routines.
-I must always remember not to be too critical of myself. Seamas reminded me that I got pretty far and I definately could have number closed. Next time, I just have to do it. This is huge progress from before when I could only make conversations like 1-2 minutes. This is immeasureable better than when I used to stand around the entire night and make zero approaches.
