Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Improvement clouded by poor frame:
Seamas and I opened a bunch of girls on the University of Florida campus. Before this all started, I would have never thought this possible. I started while I was waiting in the parking lot for Seamas. I opened her by saying "Hi," and then by asking if the cops issue tickets often in this parking lot. I made some small talk but I got bored when I asked her, "What do you do for fun?" She responded, "Nothing really. I watch TV." I knew I could have kept plodding, but I didn't feel like it. I was going to plod anyway, but Seamas called and we had to go return the rental car, so I left.
Later, we returned to campus. We walked around and greeted many people that we walked by. I still find this to be a great warm up. I find that it gets me in the social mood and it allows demonstrates how rejection doesn't matter. When you say, "Hi" to random people, the responses vary. Some greet you back, some smile, and some don't say anything.
Are you talking to me?
I saw how a girl's frame can be really messed up. Seamas was talking to someone he knew so I decided to say something to this Asian girl. She had her heads in her hands and seemed to be in a horrible mood. I decided to say, "Hey. Are you all right there? You seem to be having a bad day?" She responded, "Are you talking to me?" I replied, "Yeah. Cheer up." I think I got a smile out of her and then I just ejected.
The lesson to be learned here is the same lesson that I learn from girls who don't respond to my, "Hi" on the street. Some girls are in their own world and their frame might be so bad that they don't believe you could possible be talking to them. I guess I've been there myself.
Ejected again too soon:
I made this mistake of ejecting early. Seamas wanted me to open some girl and I saw a hotter blonde with nice legs walk out of a building nearby. She sat down at a table. Seamas was still trying to get me to approach and I decided just to go do it. I opened her by asking where the Starbucks is, even though Seamas knew. She told me it was right down the street. I then went into the tent opener and I asked her about the bar scene. I then ejected like a dumb ass.
I don't know why I don't follow Gunwitch's saying all the time. I blame it here on the fact that I needed to warm up. I wasn't getting negative signs from her. She was facing me and looking at my face (I couldn't really make eye contact as I was wearing sunglasses.) I think I just got nervous so I ejected. Dumb, but at least I opened her.
Starbucks:
Seamas opens:
Seamas opened a 2-set there while we were waiting for our drinks. I was impressed b/c I was the one who had done most of the opening in the past. I went and tried to occupy this chubby blonde obstacle, but I did a poor job.
3-sec rule:
I have to always make the comments/openers that I feel are right. Before Seamas had opened that set, I saw that the blonde girl had a pink backpack. Earlier, I had seen this cute stuffed, pink, bear for sale near the register. I had thought that it would be cool to suggest that the bear would match well with her backpack. I decided against approaching. About three minutes later, I see the blonde looking at the bear and obviously liking it. Obviously, it would have been money to have opened her about the bear, considering she noticed how much she liked it not too long after I thought about approaching.
I open a lone wolf:
At one point, Seamas had gone outside to talk to some girl that he knew. He had walked away. I sat there thinking about how I should open someone. Since we walked in, I had seen this blonde sititng at a table. I had wanted to open her, but hadn't. I knew I had waited too long, so I didn't want to go right up and do the tent opener. I decided to give crappy sketch artist a try. I drew up a stick figure and wrote "Semi-cute girl at Starbucks; Ted; 2006." I then went up to her and said, "I wanted you to know that you inspired me to high art."
She giggled and I replied, "I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor." I then went into the tent opener.
HB: It depends.
Me: Well, the actually story is that this guy and some friends were renting a place in Hollywood Hills...
HB: That sucks that they made him live out in a tent instead of sleeping on the couch.
Me: tent pattern. (by the way, I noticed that I rush through this. I now realize that I have to go through it slowly and in more detail. I know that I've been rushing it b/c I was afraid it was too lengthy. I realize now that if I go slowly, it will have a better effect, especially in a day game situation where the girl can hear what I'm saying."
HB: I guess I might date a tent guy if it were love at first sight. Do you live in a tent or something?
Me: Yeah, I live in a tent in Maui. (She knew this was BS b/c I had mentioned I was visiting from Chicago earlier in the sarge.)
In retrospect, I should have asked her if she's ever experienced love at first sight and/or had her describe what it feels like.
I later asked her about bars/clubs. She went into details but I didn't really pay attention as I had asked so many people about this.
At one point, she said something to the extent of, "Well, I hope you have fun here." I sensed that she was getting sick of me, so I was preparing to eject after that, but before I could she added, "It was nice meeting you."
Then she paused and said, "What's your name? I'm HBX."
I gave my name and then walked away b/c I figured I had been rejected. I started to read this newspaper that was on the table near me. About two minutes later, she had packed up her stuff. As she left, she said bye to me.
Analysis:
I should note that I made several more approaches after this. I was started to feel that I wasn't in the right mood when I couldn't hold this HB6.5 in a set. I knew it was because I let myself stall and didn't move into routines, but it was a sign of things to come. Later, Seamas wanted to do night game after I had taken a 2 hour nap. I didn't really feel like going but went out anyway. I think my messed up frame showed in my sarges. I wasn't feeling in the mood, so I made a half-assed attempt at sarging and I got the appropriate results. I couldn't hold this set that some cool guy had sarged into coming into the bar. I then ejected from a lone wolf that I had opened well:
She had bumped into me and I had busted her for being drunk. I then said, "I need to have a personal space of about one feet around me." I knew I was doing okay b/c she giggled and was facing me after I said this. Instead of proceeding, I went back to the stale set that the cool guy had brought into the bar. I obviously should have ran more game on that girl who ran into me.
Anyway...
Seamas and I discussed the Starbucks sarge. Immediately after it happened, I was confused about the situation. I'm considering posting it to mASF. I don't think I had the girl hooked, but I don't think I was doing that badly. I had maintained intermitent eye contact and she wasn't showing any of the negative signs. She didn't have closed body language, and she hadn't been looking around. She was focused on me and was answering my questions with sufficient detail. I think I let my frame mess me up. At the beginning of the sarge, she had said that she was almost ready to leave. At the time, I thought she was just saying that because she was afraid I was going to be boring.
When she said it was nice meeting me, I thought I had been rejected. The voice in my head said, "Here we go again. Other fuck-up. At least I opened. At least I lasted this long when she was getting ready to leave already because of me." It this had been true, then why did she bother asking for my name? That's supposed to be an IOI, especially when it's done that late in a sarge. Furthermore, if she had been completely annoyed by me, why did she bother saying anything to me when she walked out?
Control the frame:
I know the answer to my problems. I need to sarge more and just keep the right frame. I know my sarges didn't go that well because I wasn't putting in my full effort. I was letting some nonclosing situations and rejection bother me. Since I wasn't feeling in the zone, I basically went through some of the routines and motions of sarging, but didn't follow through quickly with more material. I also just wasn't being as outgoing as I can be, especially at the bar later.
I need to remember that I've had some good sarges and that I'll have more like that again.
Beat the sticking point:
I still have yet to close and Seamas closed several people. I have to get past my issue of fearing rejection. The guy on mASF was right when he told me that I need to try to close everytime so I can learn calibration . It sure is better to do that than to keep doing what I'm doing now. As they say, #clsoing isn't the end goal. Once you into the habit of doing that, it becomes easy. #closing is supposed to be easy. Dealing with the flakes and having success in phone game and Day 2's is the next step.
Remember progress & plow through setbacks:
As I've said in other entries, I have given up too many times in situations where I need to be determined. Part of me thinks this is all a waste of time. I focus on the failures and forgot that none of what happened today would have been possible before Ajay's Halloween outing. I need to be positive about my progress and learn from the setbacks instead of losing faith that my game will improve.
Seamas and I opened a bunch of girls on the University of Florida campus. Before this all started, I would have never thought this possible. I started while I was waiting in the parking lot for Seamas. I opened her by saying "Hi," and then by asking if the cops issue tickets often in this parking lot. I made some small talk but I got bored when I asked her, "What do you do for fun?" She responded, "Nothing really. I watch TV." I knew I could have kept plodding, but I didn't feel like it. I was going to plod anyway, but Seamas called and we had to go return the rental car, so I left.
Later, we returned to campus. We walked around and greeted many people that we walked by. I still find this to be a great warm up. I find that it gets me in the social mood and it allows demonstrates how rejection doesn't matter. When you say, "Hi" to random people, the responses vary. Some greet you back, some smile, and some don't say anything.
Are you talking to me?
I saw how a girl's frame can be really messed up. Seamas was talking to someone he knew so I decided to say something to this Asian girl. She had her heads in her hands and seemed to be in a horrible mood. I decided to say, "Hey. Are you all right there? You seem to be having a bad day?" She responded, "Are you talking to me?" I replied, "Yeah. Cheer up." I think I got a smile out of her and then I just ejected.
The lesson to be learned here is the same lesson that I learn from girls who don't respond to my, "Hi" on the street. Some girls are in their own world and their frame might be so bad that they don't believe you could possible be talking to them. I guess I've been there myself.
Ejected again too soon:
I made this mistake of ejecting early. Seamas wanted me to open some girl and I saw a hotter blonde with nice legs walk out of a building nearby. She sat down at a table. Seamas was still trying to get me to approach and I decided just to go do it. I opened her by asking where the Starbucks is, even though Seamas knew. She told me it was right down the street. I then went into the tent opener and I asked her about the bar scene. I then ejected like a dumb ass.
I don't know why I don't follow Gunwitch's saying all the time. I blame it here on the fact that I needed to warm up. I wasn't getting negative signs from her. She was facing me and looking at my face (I couldn't really make eye contact as I was wearing sunglasses.) I think I just got nervous so I ejected. Dumb, but at least I opened her.
Starbucks:
Seamas opens:
Seamas opened a 2-set there while we were waiting for our drinks. I was impressed b/c I was the one who had done most of the opening in the past. I went and tried to occupy this chubby blonde obstacle, but I did a poor job.
3-sec rule:
I have to always make the comments/openers that I feel are right. Before Seamas had opened that set, I saw that the blonde girl had a pink backpack. Earlier, I had seen this cute stuffed, pink, bear for sale near the register. I had thought that it would be cool to suggest that the bear would match well with her backpack. I decided against approaching. About three minutes later, I see the blonde looking at the bear and obviously liking it. Obviously, it would have been money to have opened her about the bear, considering she noticed how much she liked it not too long after I thought about approaching.
I open a lone wolf:
At one point, Seamas had gone outside to talk to some girl that he knew. He had walked away. I sat there thinking about how I should open someone. Since we walked in, I had seen this blonde sititng at a table. I had wanted to open her, but hadn't. I knew I had waited too long, so I didn't want to go right up and do the tent opener. I decided to give crappy sketch artist a try. I drew up a stick figure and wrote "Semi-cute girl at Starbucks; Ted;
She giggled and I replied, "I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor." I then went into the tent opener.
HB: It depends.
Me: Well, the actually story is that this guy and some friends were renting a place in Hollywood Hills...
HB: That sucks that they made him live out in a tent instead of sleeping on the couch.
Me: tent pattern. (by the way, I noticed that I rush through this. I now realize that I have to go through it slowly and in more detail. I know that I've been rushing it b/c I was afraid it was too lengthy. I realize now that if I go slowly, it will have a better effect, especially in a day game situation where the girl can hear what I'm saying."
HB: I guess I might date a tent guy if it were love at first sight. Do you live in a tent or something?
Me: Yeah, I live in a tent in Maui. (She knew this was BS b/c I had mentioned I was visiting from Chicago earlier in the sarge.)
In retrospect, I should have asked her if she's ever experienced love at first sight and/or had her describe what it feels like.
I later asked her about bars/clubs. She went into details but I didn't really pay attention as I had asked so many people about this.
At one point, she said something to the extent of, "Well, I hope you have fun here." I sensed that she was getting sick of me, so I was preparing to eject after that, but before I could she added, "It was nice meeting you."
Then she paused and said, "What's your name? I'm HBX."
I gave my name and then walked away b/c I figured I had been rejected. I started to read this newspaper that was on the table near me. About two minutes later, she had packed up her stuff. As she left, she said bye to me.
Analysis:
I should note that I made several more approaches after this. I was started to feel that I wasn't in the right mood when I couldn't hold this HB6.5 in a set. I knew it was because I let myself stall and didn't move into routines, but it was a sign of things to come. Later, Seamas wanted to do night game after I had taken a 2 hour nap. I didn't really feel like going but went out anyway. I think my messed up frame showed in my sarges. I wasn't feeling in the mood, so I made a half-assed attempt at sarging and I got the appropriate results. I couldn't hold this set that some cool guy had sarged into coming into the bar. I then ejected from a lone wolf that I had opened well:
She had bumped into me and I had busted her for being drunk. I then said, "I need to have a personal space of about one feet around me." I knew I was doing okay b/c she giggled and was facing me after I said this. Instead of proceeding, I went back to the stale set that the cool guy had brought into the bar. I obviously should have ran more game on that girl who ran into me.
Anyway...
Seamas and I discussed the Starbucks sarge. Immediately after it happened, I was confused about the situation. I'm considering posting it to mASF. I don't think I had the girl hooked, but I don't think I was doing that badly. I had maintained intermitent eye contact and she wasn't showing any of the negative signs. She didn't have closed body language, and she hadn't been looking around. She was focused on me and was answering my questions with sufficient detail. I think I let my frame mess me up. At the beginning of the sarge, she had said that she was almost ready to leave. At the time, I thought she was just saying that because she was afraid I was going to be boring.
When she said it was nice meeting me, I thought I had been rejected. The voice in my head said, "Here we go again. Other fuck-up. At least I opened. At least I lasted this long when she was getting ready to leave already because of me." It this had been true, then why did she bother asking for my name? That's supposed to be an IOI, especially when it's done that late in a sarge. Furthermore, if she had been completely annoyed by me, why did she bother saying anything to me when she walked out?
Control the frame:
I know the answer to my problems. I need to sarge more and just keep the right frame. I know my sarges didn't go that well because I wasn't putting in my full effort. I was letting some nonclosing situations and rejection bother me. Since I wasn't feeling in the zone, I basically went through some of the routines and motions of sarging, but didn't follow through quickly with more material. I also just wasn't being as outgoing as I can be, especially at the bar later.
I need to remember that I've had some good sarges and that I'll have more like that again.
Beat the sticking point:
I still have yet to close and Seamas closed several people. I have to get past my issue of fearing rejection. The guy on mASF was right when he told me that I need to try to close everytime so I can learn calibration . It sure is better to do that than to keep doing what I'm doing now. As they say, #clsoing isn't the end goal. Once you into the habit of doing that, it becomes easy. #closing is supposed to be easy. Dealing with the flakes and having success in phone game and Day 2's is the next step.
Remember progress & plow through setbacks:
As I've said in other entries, I have given up too many times in situations where I need to be determined. Part of me thinks this is all a waste of time. I focus on the failures and forgot that none of what happened today would have been possible before Ajay's Halloween outing. I need to be positive about my progress and learn from the setbacks instead of losing faith that my game will improve.
