Sunday, January 22, 2006
Off night on Friday:
Friday was an off-night. As I think back on the possible reasons, I realize that it was a combination of things. First, we didn't get much sleep b/c Seamas had to teach class in the morning. We had planned on taking a nap but other stuff ended up getting in the way. By the time we ended up going out, we were tired and the bars were set to close in about 1.5 hours. I was also not feeling that great and Seamas was in a bad mood so that didn't help things.
I can say that even on an off night, I did made a few attempts to approach. We went to this Fat Tuesday's place that was dead. There were one or two sets that I should have opened, but I was feeling major approach anxiety. The only sets that I ended up opening were girls that were in line. At one place, we waited in line. I chatted it up with some girls that were waiting too. I just asked general info about the club but nothing else. We ended up not going into that place. Later, we were thinking about waiting in another line. I saw a 2-set (two HB6's) already in line so I got in and asked them about the place. The girl who responded said they had never been there as they usually just go to house parties. I knew that I could have branched a conversation off of that or went into an opener, but I just wasn't feeling it. Also, Seamas wasn't ready to engage the other girl as he was just hanging back.
Lessons:
Raaf is correct in his inner game post that you cannot think about any negative things. That sort of stuff slowly starts to poison your mind and ruin your mood. I was thinking about stuff that was bothering Seamas and I was thinking about my own approach anxiety. I think I'll be more outgoing next time. I understand why I was anxious. Part of it were the factors that I described above. Another contributing factor was that I hadn't sarged since Wednesday of last week. A third reason was that Seamas was right about there being an abundance of hot girls. In Chicago, there are a ton of overweight girls and you usually only see a few hotties. Here in Gainesville, they are everywhere so I felt a little intimidated, even though deep down, I know that I have a lot to offer them
I did think of a good technique that should help me next time. I told Seamas that I need to go into the bar about five or ten minutes before him. That will force me to start talking to people and it should put me into party guy mode.
Forcing Seamas to open:
He still has issues with approach anxiety. Sometimes he approaches (it's very rare though), but lately I've been working on making him do more approaches. I decided that it wasn't fair that I have to be the one to initiate the majority of the approaches. Sometimes I just run out of energy and I need him to be able to push me through those doldrums. If he opens just a few times when I'm not feeling it, then I think we'd be unstopable.
I've also been trying to get him to be more social in general. I explained that you don't have to run game on every girl you see. Instead, you should make it a part of your everyday routine to be saying hi to people and engaging people in small talk. After you get that down, then you can make it a point to run game on every decent looking HB that you see.
Affirmation:
I think it'll help me a ton if I write a quick affirmation. Well, this will be more of a quick self-analysis also.
I know I'm feeling approach anxiety because I feel a little intimidated by the HB's as the average girl here is way better looking than in Chicago. I also know that I'm decent looking, but I still need a lot of work in that department. Of course, those are dumb reasons. I've talked to hotter girls than most of the ones I've seen here. I have to remind myself that I have a lot to offer these girls and my game is good. I can make them feel the emotions that they want to feel and I geniunely do think that I'd give them a great time. There are tons of AFC's here that have no game and I'll appear even better because I have more confidence then them and I won't do the lame shit that they do.
As for looks, while that's a huge factor in attraction for men, it isn't as high on the list for women. As they way on FS, unless you're a male supermodel or something, you're not going to make women doggy eyed by just your looks alone. Men on the other hand will get all crazy over any beautiful women. When I get in great shape again, I'll get more "auditions" but it will be my game that will help me get the women that I so desire. Having been in great shape two and a half years ago, I know that game is the most important thing. I didn't get anywhere with girls at the bars because I made few approaches and I did typical AFC stuff.
Speaking of approaches, another thing I have to remember is that I need to make a ton of approaches. There are so many women here. Even if I had zero game or if I opened with a total BS opener like telling every girl I met that she was beautiful or telling them that I just wanted sex, I'd eventually get a "fool's mate" lay. Of course, I have good game so my success rate will be higher than doing something lame like that, but I still should maximize my exposure. If I approach enough women, I'll get the fool's mate girls, and I'll pull a few more b/c of my game. I'll have poor results if I don't approach enough so if I really want to make something happen on this trip, I need to be an approach machine.
Every time that I start to feel negatively, I will purge the thoughts from my brain. If I'm worried I won't be able to game a set, I have to remember the many times that I've done stuff right. I have to remember that week Seamas and I went out between Christmas and New Year's. Just about every night I had a good set going that I could have closed. If I approach for like 3 hours in the day time, and 3 hours at night on this trip, I'm going to close some girls. Now I just have to start this all on Monday.
Friday was an off-night. As I think back on the possible reasons, I realize that it was a combination of things. First, we didn't get much sleep b/c Seamas had to teach class in the morning. We had planned on taking a nap but other stuff ended up getting in the way. By the time we ended up going out, we were tired and the bars were set to close in about 1.5 hours. I was also not feeling that great and Seamas was in a bad mood so that didn't help things.
I can say that even on an off night, I did made a few attempts to approach. We went to this Fat Tuesday's place that was dead. There were one or two sets that I should have opened, but I was feeling major approach anxiety. The only sets that I ended up opening were girls that were in line. At one place, we waited in line. I chatted it up with some girls that were waiting too. I just asked general info about the club but nothing else. We ended up not going into that place. Later, we were thinking about waiting in another line. I saw a 2-set (two HB6's) already in line so I got in and asked them about the place. The girl who responded said they had never been there as they usually just go to house parties. I knew that I could have branched a conversation off of that or went into an opener, but I just wasn't feeling it. Also, Seamas wasn't ready to engage the other girl as he was just hanging back.
Lessons:
Raaf is correct in his inner game post that you cannot think about any negative things. That sort of stuff slowly starts to poison your mind and ruin your mood. I was thinking about stuff that was bothering Seamas and I was thinking about my own approach anxiety. I think I'll be more outgoing next time. I understand why I was anxious. Part of it were the factors that I described above. Another contributing factor was that I hadn't sarged since Wednesday of last week. A third reason was that Seamas was right about there being an abundance of hot girls. In Chicago, there are a ton of overweight girls and you usually only see a few hotties. Here in Gainesville, they are everywhere so I felt a little intimidated, even though deep down, I know that I have a lot to offer them
I did think of a good technique that should help me next time. I told Seamas that I need to go into the bar about five or ten minutes before him. That will force me to start talking to people and it should put me into party guy mode.
Forcing Seamas to open:
He still has issues with approach anxiety. Sometimes he approaches (it's very rare though), but lately I've been working on making him do more approaches. I decided that it wasn't fair that I have to be the one to initiate the majority of the approaches. Sometimes I just run out of energy and I need him to be able to push me through those doldrums. If he opens just a few times when I'm not feeling it, then I think we'd be unstopable.
I've also been trying to get him to be more social in general. I explained that you don't have to run game on every girl you see. Instead, you should make it a part of your everyday routine to be saying hi to people and engaging people in small talk. After you get that down, then you can make it a point to run game on every decent looking HB that you see.
Affirmation:
I think it'll help me a ton if I write a quick affirmation. Well, this will be more of a quick self-analysis also.
I know I'm feeling approach anxiety because I feel a little intimidated by the HB's as the average girl here is way better looking than in Chicago. I also know that I'm decent looking, but I still need a lot of work in that department. Of course, those are dumb reasons. I've talked to hotter girls than most of the ones I've seen here. I have to remind myself that I have a lot to offer these girls and my game is good. I can make them feel the emotions that they want to feel and I geniunely do think that I'd give them a great time. There are tons of AFC's here that have no game and I'll appear even better because I have more confidence then them and I won't do the lame shit that they do.
As for looks, while that's a huge factor in attraction for men, it isn't as high on the list for women. As they way on FS, unless you're a male supermodel or something, you're not going to make women doggy eyed by just your looks alone. Men on the other hand will get all crazy over any beautiful women. When I get in great shape again, I'll get more "auditions" but it will be my game that will help me get the women that I so desire. Having been in great shape two and a half years ago, I know that game is the most important thing. I didn't get anywhere with girls at the bars because I made few approaches and I did typical AFC stuff.
Speaking of approaches, another thing I have to remember is that I need to make a ton of approaches. There are so many women here. Even if I had zero game or if I opened with a total BS opener like telling every girl I met that she was beautiful or telling them that I just wanted sex, I'd eventually get a "fool's mate" lay. Of course, I have good game so my success rate will be higher than doing something lame like that, but I still should maximize my exposure. If I approach enough women, I'll get the fool's mate girls, and I'll pull a few more b/c of my game. I'll have poor results if I don't approach enough so if I really want to make something happen on this trip, I need to be an approach machine.
Every time that I start to feel negatively, I will purge the thoughts from my brain. If I'm worried I won't be able to game a set, I have to remember the many times that I've done stuff right. I have to remember that week Seamas and I went out between Christmas and New Year's. Just about every night I had a good set going that I could have closed. If I approach for like 3 hours in the day time, and 3 hours at night on this trip, I'm going to close some girls. Now I just have to start this all on Monday.
