Sunday, February 05, 2006
Sarging Isn't Just picking Up Girls:
I'm posting this while I wait for my flight in SIN. Free high speed internet rocks!
Introduction:
I've told Seamas several times that sarging isn't just "picking up girls." It's a whole new way of looking at life and of living (or reframing life). I didn't any real sarging here in SIN. When I go on these short trips I feel that there's no real point. I know I should approach for practice and to just be social, but several things are preventing me from being completely "on" all the time. I recognize that these are self-limiting beliefs and I hope to minimize their impact on my actions in the future. First, on the journey over to SIN I was exhausted b/c I had only gotten 1.5 hours sleep before I left. On the ORD-LAX trip, I talked briefly with my seatmate. She was a cute older woman with a wedding ring (who was traveling with a guy with a church position of "Brother" for some denomination) so I knew nothing could happen. Still, I wasn't too tired, so I talked to her for a bit, plus I was motivated since she was cute. In the later legs, I got more tired and didn't have any good looking females near me. On the NRT-SIN leg, there was an HB5-6 behind me (30+) that I probably should have sarged. She was probably going to SIN and was alone, so there were possibilities there, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I hinted at factor two above. Part of the reason I didn't really sarge in Amsterdam or in Singapore was b/c I was there for 2 days. I know that I have no chance for a Day 2 unless I can sarge someone the first day. The only real chance of a successful sarge is if the woman happens to live in Chicago or nearby, or realistically, if I can pull a one-night stand. By this time next year, I hope to have developed enough skills for that to be a real possibility. Again, this is a self-limiting belief, and I should still try for a ONS or just try to sarge even though I likely won't be successful, but I just didn't feel motivated enough. I was more excited about seeing the city than worrying about actual sarging.
Sarging While Waiting for the Parade:
Polish lady:
On Saturday night, there was a parade for Chinese New Years on Orchard Road. It has an official name that I can't think of right now. The newspaper had said it was supposed to start at 8PM. I rolled in just after eight and it still hadn't started . I managed to grab an open spot next to a fence. I'll admit that I grabbed the spot both because it was open and because it happened to be next to a blonde. It turns out she wasn't that hot, was older, and was married, but I was still glad I chose that spot. I didn't immediately open her. Instead, I opened this local guy next to me. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I asked the guy next to me when the parade was supposed to start and if it was going to pass by this spot. Just about a half block to my left was a stage area for ticket holders. I later found out that tickets for that area cost Sin$50. There was some live entertainment there and I was starting to wonder if I had chosen a spot past the end of the parade.
The guy ended up not being able to understand me so I decided to open the blonde. Right before I did, I heard them speaking a foreign language. I initially guessed that it was Polish. I should have been sure as I've heard my ex speak Polish a ton of times, but I speculated that it might have been Russian. Quick run down of the opener. (Nothing to learn here except the overall message of this post, and that it was funny how we met in SIN.)
At the same time, we asked each other where we were from.
Polishlady: I'm originally from Poland but we're from the US.
Me: Hehe. I thought you were speaking Polish. as my ex girlfriend is Polish. I'm from Chicago.
Polish: Really? So are we.
Me: That's funny. I'm actually from X suburb.
Polish: I'm from Y (Y is about two towns west of me.)
Me: That's amazing that we run into each other all the way out here in SIN.
I chatted with her on and off. The only thing I should have done different was e-mail close her and her husband. He had a digital camera and I would have been interested in seeing their pics but for some reason I didn't try to close them. The whole time, though, I thought about how cool it would have been if my ex had been there with me as they all would have immediately bonded.
Columbian hottie:
The Polish lady and I were growing concerned about the parade when it was past 9PM and it still hadn't started. I decided to ask someone else about the parade since Polish didn't know anything about it, and the local guy next to me couldn't understand me. I opened this guy that was standing right behind me. He spoke decent English, but this young hottie HB7.5+ (probably an 8) was the one who took over the conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to see her as I didn't even realize she had been standing behind me. I later found out that they were all originally from Columbia. (Sidenote: I noticed right away that they were speaking Spanish to each other. Their accent was such that I found them easy to understand. Of course, my Spanish is very rusty so I couldn't fully understand them, but this is in stark contrast to the Mexicans I hear in Chicago. I could never understand the Mexicans that worked in the pizza places I worked at when I was younger.) The older guy and his wife were the HB's uncle and aunt. This young boy was their sun, and her cousin.
I definitely should have made a real attempt at sarging this HB. I talked to her on and off but I should have run real game on her. I had opened the set great with genuine indirect. I was cool with the relatives and I easily could have kept talking to her with no disruptions from them. I noticed this the few times we did engage in conversation. I guess I didn't run game for the reasons I listed in the introduction. Also, the parade started about 10 minutes after I opened the set, so I focused on that instead of chatting with her.
This is going to be another excuse, but I think this is partially real. Later on, when my game is great, this factor won't matter. Right now, though I felt weird running my standard game. How would I suddenly ask her if she'd date a guy in a tent? Well, that's what I was thinking when I was talking to her. Even now, I realize that I was indulging in a totally self-limiting belief. I easily could have brought that into the conversation and ran game on her. Dumb me :(
No reservations? No problem!
I have to thank Flyertalkers for recommending Jiang-Nan Chun. For those that don't know, it's a restaurant on the second floor of the Four Seasons Hotel in Singapore. On Saturday and Sunday, they offer brunch. It's all-you-can-eat but it's not a buffet. Instead, you order whatever you want from the menu. The only thing that's limited is shark fin soup. You can have one bowl of that. (Sidenote: I wasn't that impressed with Shark Fin soup. It was good, but it didn't do anything for me. I definitely wouldn't pay Singapore$30 for a bowl a la carte.) The food was great and the all-you-can-eat aspect is ridiculous. I was so stuffed afterwards. If I had ordered the stuff a la carte for the menu prices, I would have spent over Singapore$120.
The only reason I was able to get in was because of the confidence I've learned from developing my game. I never made a reservations even though I heard that it would have been a good idea to make one. On top of that, I was running late gathering my bags, so I didn't get checked out of my hotel until 12:35PM and 2nd Seating started at 1PM. The cab got me there like three minutes before 1PM. I figured I might be SOL so I walked up and said that I had a reservation under my name. When they couldn't find it, I said that my friend had booked the trip. He ended up not coming but he gave me the info about this place. The lady then had me check the reservation list for my friend's name. I felt like I had two things going with my approach to getting in. First, my friend legitimately could have made a reservation and thing could have gotten messed up. He might have booked the wrong day or it might have gotten lost. I told them that he very well might have messed it up, but I never wavered on the point that I really believed that he had made a reservation.
She told me a few times that they were sold out, but instead of walking away like I would have in the past, I was persistent. I wasn't rude or anything. I was very polite, and but I kept trying to get her to work with me. I remember saying stuff like, "What can you do for me?" I repeated my story that I really believed that my friend had made a reservation. When things were looking dim, I even asked if she could recommend another dim sung buffet type place.
At one point, the woman had to attend to the other people that really had reservations. This male employee came up and asked if I needed help. I tried the "sob story" angle on him. I used part of a method that's described in "The 48 Rules of Power." I played on the real story of Sidegames canceling his trip to sell my BS story. I told him that my friend had booked the plane tickets, hotel, and had told me I had reservations at this brunch. I told him that the trip sucked from the beginning b/c my friend had cancelled at the last minute and had left me to go on my own. I said this was hard b/c he had done all the planning and it's boring to go by yourself. I said that I had heard that this restaurant was great and I really wanted to try it. I asked him if he could get me in. I said, "Sit me anywhere, at the bar, or wherever. I'd really like to get in here." I repeated that my friend had made a reservation. I said I was mad at him about the cancellation and I was going to be even more mad about this screw-up. The guy seemed sympathetic, but before he could say anything the woman came by and said she'd seat me in a few minutes.
Score, but how much of it was skilz?
(My blog entry got cut short as I had to board my plane. I've now been home for about 5 hours am I finishing this entry now.) I know my confidence definitely played a role in me getting in, but luck did play a factor. Also, I think the woman was on to my scam. At the end of the meal, she asked me if I had enjoyed the meal. I said it was great and she asked me how I heard of the place. I didn't realize the woman asking was the one who had seated me. I originally thought it one of the servers. I replied that I had heard of it through this Flyertalk website. She then said that if I come again, I should make sure to call her as I wouldn't have gotten in if the table hadn't cancelled. I guess she was on to my BS and I confirmed her suspicions by not sticking to my story. No harm done, except that I would have felt better if I had stuck to my story and not be "outed."
If anyone reading this goes to Singapore (which I recommend), you should definitely eat at Jiang-Nan Chun. Just make sure you make a reservation. No matter how well I sarged, if the one reservation hadn't cancelled, I would have been SOL. The dining room is small and every table was filled when I was there. I kind of felt bad having a table all to myself when I knew they could have fit a family there instead.
Airport Sarging:
SHB spotted:
I saw a 9.5 Monday on my LAX-DEN flight. She was a tall blonde, at least 6 feet tall, with a nice thin body with nice curves. Like the model brunette I saw in Maui, she was wearing sunglasses that appeared to be Cartier. I know I tend to overrate this type of girl as this is totally my type, but I think she legitimately was a 9.5+. I'm sure she fits the SHB profile and negs would be necessary to sarge her. I didn't talk to her as I saw her just as I was boarding, plus I looked like shit as I was 18+ hours into my traveling.
Creating situational openers:
I've been making the effort to use good situational openers when I see the opportunity. In the past, I'd think of a good way to open a girl, and then I wouldn't say anything. I do notice that since I'm more social in general, I find it easy to make these situational comments now. Today was a great example as I was really tired and I knew I looked like shit, but I still opened her.
I had gastrointestinal distress, probably from drinking plane water, so I got to the gate late. Boarding was already open to all seating groups. This reinforced how important the perk of early boarding is for me as a Premier member. I love being one of the first people on the plane and I really had forgotten how much it sucks to be one of the late boarders. I had to wait in a line that filled the entire length of the ramp. Later, I had to store my bag in a bin opposite of me, and that was the only overhead spot left in my immediate vicinity. When I board early, I always have overhead room, I wait very little and I can just relax while the non elites (Seamas now understands that the term "elite" is airline jargon for frequent fliers the achieve status with a particular airline.) struggle for bin space and wait in line.
As I'm waiting in line, I see that a girl behind me has obviously rushed to the gate. I saw her jog up to the gate, breathe a sigh of relief, and then hand the gate agent her boarding pass. When she got near (which was in about 3 secs since the line was so long) I immediately realized that I could make a situational comment here. I said something like, "I bet you're now wishing you'd taken your time now that you see how long this line is." (It was funnier than that, but I don't remember my exact words). She smiled and said she was afraid she was going to misconnect. I told her I had almost done that in Toyko. I asked here if Chicago was her final destination and she said, "No, Des Moines is." I just nodded. I immediately realized that I could have kept the conversation going but instead I just stalled and I saw her playing with her phone. She then made a phone call to a friend. She said, "When you pick me up, can you bring my jacket please?"
At the time, my frame was fucked up b/c I was tired, I was worried I smelled bad after the long journey, and I knew I wasn't running good game. I honestly thought that she was playing with the cell phone b/c she thought I was trying to pick her up and didn't want to talk to me. (It's possible as my body language was bad, but even if it were true, it shouldn't matter to me. Realistically, though, she probably just wanted to make that call.) After she got off the phone, I felt the same thing I felt after the shit test at the pizza place in Gainesville. It's the same feeling I get when I get busted up on a good night at the bar. I wanted to open other set to show that I'm just social in general. There was some really tall dude in front with two huge carry-ons. I opened him by asking, "Do you know if the bins fill up fast on these bigger planes like they do on smaller planes?" He said, "I hope not."
I felt good after I opened the guy and I feel good about the opening in general. Even though I was far beyond a good sarging mentality, I was still able to be social. As I do this more and more, I know it will become my natural auto-pilot to talk to people, even when I'm exhausted like that. Also, even though I felt rejected by the phone call, I fed off it and did something positive. It's great when I do that at the bar too.
I'm posting this while I wait for my flight in SIN. Free high speed internet rocks!
Introduction:
I've told Seamas several times that sarging isn't just "picking up girls." It's a whole new way of looking at life and of living (or reframing life). I didn't any real sarging here in SIN. When I go on these short trips I feel that there's no real point. I know I should approach for practice and to just be social, but several things are preventing me from being completely "on" all the time. I recognize that these are self-limiting beliefs and I hope to minimize their impact on my actions in the future. First, on the journey over to SIN I was exhausted b/c I had only gotten 1.5 hours sleep before I left. On the ORD-LAX trip, I talked briefly with my seatmate. She was a cute older woman with a wedding ring (who was traveling with a guy with a church position of "Brother" for some denomination) so I knew nothing could happen. Still, I wasn't too tired, so I talked to her for a bit, plus I was motivated since she was cute. In the later legs, I got more tired and didn't have any good looking females near me. On the NRT-SIN leg, there was an HB5-6 behind me (30+) that I probably should have sarged. She was probably going to SIN and was alone, so there were possibilities there, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I hinted at factor two above. Part of the reason I didn't really sarge in Amsterdam or in Singapore was b/c I was there for 2 days. I know that I have no chance for a Day 2 unless I can sarge someone the first day. The only real chance of a successful sarge is if the woman happens to live in Chicago or nearby, or realistically, if I can pull a one-night stand. By this time next year, I hope to have developed enough skills for that to be a real possibility. Again, this is a self-limiting belief, and I should still try for a ONS or just try to sarge even though I likely won't be successful, but I just didn't feel motivated enough. I was more excited about seeing the city than worrying about actual sarging.
Sarging While Waiting for the Parade:
Polish lady:
On Saturday night, there was a parade for Chinese New Years on Orchard Road. It has an official name that I can't think of right now. The newspaper had said it was supposed to start at 8PM. I rolled in just after eight and it still hadn't started . I managed to grab an open spot next to a fence. I'll admit that I grabbed the spot both because it was open and because it happened to be next to a blonde. It turns out she wasn't that hot, was older, and was married, but I was still glad I chose that spot. I didn't immediately open her. Instead, I opened this local guy next to me. After about 10 minutes of waiting, I asked the guy next to me when the parade was supposed to start and if it was going to pass by this spot. Just about a half block to my left was a stage area for ticket holders. I later found out that tickets for that area cost Sin$50. There was some live entertainment there and I was starting to wonder if I had chosen a spot past the end of the parade.
The guy ended up not being able to understand me so I decided to open the blonde. Right before I did, I heard them speaking a foreign language. I initially guessed that it was Polish. I should have been sure as I've heard my ex speak Polish a ton of times, but I speculated that it might have been Russian. Quick run down of the opener. (Nothing to learn here except the overall message of this post, and that it was funny how we met in SIN.)
At the same time, we asked each other where we were from.
Polishlady: I'm originally from Poland but we're from the US.
Me: Hehe. I thought you were speaking Polish. as my ex girlfriend is Polish. I'm from Chicago.
Polish: Really? So are we.
Me: That's funny. I'm actually from X suburb.
Polish: I'm from Y (Y is about two towns west of me.)
Me: That's amazing that we run into each other all the way out here in SIN.
I chatted with her on and off. The only thing I should have done different was e-mail close her and her husband. He had a digital camera and I would have been interested in seeing their pics but for some reason I didn't try to close them. The whole time, though, I thought about how cool it would have been if my ex had been there with me as they all would have immediately bonded.
Columbian hottie:
The Polish lady and I were growing concerned about the parade when it was past 9PM and it still hadn't started. I decided to ask someone else about the parade since Polish didn't know anything about it, and the local guy next to me couldn't understand me. I opened this guy that was standing right behind me. He spoke decent English, but this young hottie HB7.5+ (probably an 8) was the one who took over the conversation. I was pleasantly surprised to see her as I didn't even realize she had been standing behind me. I later found out that they were all originally from Columbia. (Sidenote: I noticed right away that they were speaking Spanish to each other. Their accent was such that I found them easy to understand. Of course, my Spanish is very rusty so I couldn't fully understand them, but this is in stark contrast to the Mexicans I hear in Chicago. I could never understand the Mexicans that worked in the pizza places I worked at when I was younger.) The older guy and his wife were the HB's uncle and aunt. This young boy was their sun, and her cousin.
I definitely should have made a real attempt at sarging this HB. I talked to her on and off but I should have run real game on her. I had opened the set great with genuine indirect. I was cool with the relatives and I easily could have kept talking to her with no disruptions from them. I noticed this the few times we did engage in conversation. I guess I didn't run game for the reasons I listed in the introduction. Also, the parade started about 10 minutes after I opened the set, so I focused on that instead of chatting with her.
This is going to be another excuse, but I think this is partially real. Later on, when my game is great, this factor won't matter. Right now, though I felt weird running my standard game. How would I suddenly ask her if she'd date a guy in a tent? Well, that's what I was thinking when I was talking to her. Even now, I realize that I was indulging in a totally self-limiting belief. I easily could have brought that into the conversation and ran game on her. Dumb me :(
No reservations? No problem!
I have to thank Flyertalkers for recommending Jiang-Nan Chun. For those that don't know, it's a restaurant on the second floor of the Four Seasons Hotel in Singapore. On Saturday and Sunday, they offer brunch. It's all-you-can-eat but it's not a buffet. Instead, you order whatever you want from the menu. The only thing that's limited is shark fin soup. You can have one bowl of that. (Sidenote: I wasn't that impressed with Shark Fin soup. It was good, but it didn't do anything for me. I definitely wouldn't pay Singapore$30 for a bowl a la carte.) The food was great and the all-you-can-eat aspect is ridiculous. I was so stuffed afterwards. If I had ordered the stuff a la carte for the menu prices, I would have spent over Singapore$120.
The only reason I was able to get in was because of the confidence I've learned from developing my game. I never made a reservations even though I heard that it would have been a good idea to make one. On top of that, I was running late gathering my bags, so I didn't get checked out of my hotel until 12:35PM and 2nd Seating started at 1PM. The cab got me there like three minutes before 1PM. I figured I might be SOL so I walked up and said that I had a reservation under my name. When they couldn't find it, I said that my friend had booked the trip. He ended up not coming but he gave me the info about this place. The lady then had me check the reservation list for my friend's name. I felt like I had two things going with my approach to getting in. First, my friend legitimately could have made a reservation and thing could have gotten messed up. He might have booked the wrong day or it might have gotten lost. I told them that he very well might have messed it up, but I never wavered on the point that I really believed that he had made a reservation.
She told me a few times that they were sold out, but instead of walking away like I would have in the past, I was persistent. I wasn't rude or anything. I was very polite, and but I kept trying to get her to work with me. I remember saying stuff like, "What can you do for me?" I repeated my story that I really believed that my friend had made a reservation. When things were looking dim, I even asked if she could recommend another dim sung buffet type place.
At one point, the woman had to attend to the other people that really had reservations. This male employee came up and asked if I needed help. I tried the "sob story" angle on him. I used part of a method that's described in "The 48 Rules of Power." I played on the real story of Sidegames canceling his trip to sell my BS story. I told him that my friend had booked the plane tickets, hotel, and had told me I had reservations at this brunch. I told him that the trip sucked from the beginning b/c my friend had cancelled at the last minute and had left me to go on my own. I said this was hard b/c he had done all the planning and it's boring to go by yourself. I said that I had heard that this restaurant was great and I really wanted to try it. I asked him if he could get me in. I said, "Sit me anywhere, at the bar, or wherever. I'd really like to get in here." I repeated that my friend had made a reservation. I said I was mad at him about the cancellation and I was going to be even more mad about this screw-up. The guy seemed sympathetic, but before he could say anything the woman came by and said she'd seat me in a few minutes.
Score, but how much of it was skilz?
(My blog entry got cut short as I had to board my plane. I've now been home for about 5 hours am I finishing this entry now.) I know my confidence definitely played a role in me getting in, but luck did play a factor. Also, I think the woman was on to my scam. At the end of the meal, she asked me if I had enjoyed the meal. I said it was great and she asked me how I heard of the place. I didn't realize the woman asking was the one who had seated me. I originally thought it one of the servers. I replied that I had heard of it through this Flyertalk website. She then said that if I come again, I should make sure to call her as I wouldn't have gotten in if the table hadn't cancelled. I guess she was on to my BS and I confirmed her suspicions by not sticking to my story. No harm done, except that I would have felt better if I had stuck to my story and not be "outed."
If anyone reading this goes to Singapore (which I recommend), you should definitely eat at Jiang-Nan Chun. Just make sure you make a reservation. No matter how well I sarged, if the one reservation hadn't cancelled, I would have been SOL. The dining room is small and every table was filled when I was there. I kind of felt bad having a table all to myself when I knew they could have fit a family there instead.
Airport Sarging:
SHB spotted:
I saw a 9.5 Monday on my LAX-DEN flight. She was a tall blonde, at least 6 feet tall, with a nice thin body with nice curves. Like the model brunette I saw in Maui, she was wearing sunglasses that appeared to be Cartier. I know I tend to overrate this type of girl as this is totally my type, but I think she legitimately was a 9.5+. I'm sure she fits the SHB profile and negs would be necessary to sarge her. I didn't talk to her as I saw her just as I was boarding, plus I looked like shit as I was 18+ hours into my traveling.
Creating situational openers:
I've been making the effort to use good situational openers when I see the opportunity. In the past, I'd think of a good way to open a girl, and then I wouldn't say anything. I do notice that since I'm more social in general, I find it easy to make these situational comments now. Today was a great example as I was really tired and I knew I looked like shit, but I still opened her.
I had gastrointestinal distress, probably from drinking plane water, so I got to the gate late. Boarding was already open to all seating groups. This reinforced how important the perk of early boarding is for me as a Premier member. I love being one of the first people on the plane and I really had forgotten how much it sucks to be one of the late boarders. I had to wait in a line that filled the entire length of the ramp. Later, I had to store my bag in a bin opposite of me, and that was the only overhead spot left in my immediate vicinity. When I board early, I always have overhead room, I wait very little and I can just relax while the non elites (Seamas now understands that the term "elite" is airline jargon for frequent fliers the achieve status with a particular airline.) struggle for bin space and wait in line.
As I'm waiting in line, I see that a girl behind me has obviously rushed to the gate. I saw her jog up to the gate, breathe a sigh of relief, and then hand the gate agent her boarding pass. When she got near (which was in about 3 secs since the line was so long) I immediately realized that I could make a situational comment here. I said something like, "I bet you're now wishing you'd taken your time now that you see how long this line is." (It was funnier than that, but I don't remember my exact words). She smiled and said she was afraid she was going to misconnect. I told her I had almost done that in Toyko. I asked here if Chicago was her final destination and she said, "No, Des Moines is." I just nodded. I immediately realized that I could have kept the conversation going but instead I just stalled and I saw her playing with her phone. She then made a phone call to a friend. She said, "When you pick me up, can you bring my jacket please?"
At the time, my frame was fucked up b/c I was tired, I was worried I smelled bad after the long journey, and I knew I wasn't running good game. I honestly thought that she was playing with the cell phone b/c she thought I was trying to pick her up and didn't want to talk to me. (It's possible as my body language was bad, but even if it were true, it shouldn't matter to me. Realistically, though, she probably just wanted to make that call.) After she got off the phone, I felt the same thing I felt after the shit test at the pizza place in Gainesville. It's the same feeling I get when I get busted up on a good night at the bar. I wanted to open other set to show that I'm just social in general. There was some really tall dude in front with two huge carry-ons. I opened him by asking, "Do you know if the bins fill up fast on these bigger planes like they do on smaller planes?" He said, "I hope not."
I felt good after I opened the guy and I feel good about the opening in general. Even though I was far beyond a good sarging mentality, I was still able to be social. As I do this more and more, I know it will become my natural auto-pilot to talk to people, even when I'm exhausted like that. Also, even though I felt rejected by the phone call, I fed off it and did something positive. It's great when I do that at the bar too.
