Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Not giving a fuck:
I forgot to write that I got a taste of what that's going to feel like at Starbuck's today. When I did my warm-up set after the Carson Pierre Scott crash and burn, I really felt like I didn't give a fuck. I ordered my drink, and then I ended my phone call with Seamas. I walked right over to this HB6.8 that was studying for her test and I ran openers on her. She wasn't warming up to me, but I still plodding along until she told me she had to study.
I can see myself slowly embracing that attitude. In the very near future, I can see myself opening sets all the time with this attitude. I'm very close. I'm opening sets far more often than I used to and with much less anxiety that before. Getting shot down when opening barely hurts. I just get more experience and try to figure out where my game went wrong. I can say that I've got that down. Again today, I no longer blamed my value as a male being the reason for rejection. I recognize that it's my game. If I had done things a little differently in those sets, I would have held the sets longer and been able to close.
I forgot to write that I got a taste of what that's going to feel like at Starbuck's today. When I did my warm-up set after the Carson Pierre Scott crash and burn, I really felt like I didn't give a fuck. I ordered my drink, and then I ended my phone call with Seamas. I walked right over to this HB6.8 that was studying for her test and I ran openers on her. She wasn't warming up to me, but I still plodding along until she told me she had to study.
I can see myself slowly embracing that attitude. In the very near future, I can see myself opening sets all the time with this attitude. I'm very close. I'm opening sets far more often than I used to and with much less anxiety that before. Getting shot down when opening barely hurts. I just get more experience and try to figure out where my game went wrong. I can say that I've got that down. Again today, I no longer blamed my value as a male being the reason for rejection. I recognize that it's my game. If I had done things a little differently in those sets, I would have held the sets longer and been able to close.
