Sunday, April 09, 2006
Self-limiting beliefs again:
The more I think about last night, the more I realize how much self-limiting beliefs are holding me back. HBhat was giving me a bunch of IOI's so I should have run regular game on her. I should have isolated her from the group, which would have been easy, and then run comfort routines (like the questions game and the cube) while doing kino escalation. I remember that she said two or three times that there was something different about me than the other guys that were trying to sarge her friends. In my bad frame, I thought she was saying that I was falling into the friend zone which is usually what happens. I know this was different. She had shit-tested me and I had passed. After she realized I was going to easily be impressed like AFC's, she started to get insecure and kept asking if she looked her age. I realized that I had to give a little her, so I said she looked nice. When I took her hat off, though, I should have ran my hand through her hair. I also could have touched her face and looked deeply into her eyes and told her that she looked good.
The most important hint that I believed I missed was when she brought up cheating. She said that the large girl was the faithful one. She said her friend's husband had cheated. She even pointed out how the blonde wasn't wearing her wedding ring, but the larger girl was. The community would say that she had let me know that she was married so I'd know what to expect, but she probably was more than willing to sleep with me if I ran good game. The only reason I didn't is that I immediately figured it would take more game that I had. That's a poor excuse. Even if I would have messed up, it would have helped me a ton if I could have isolated her and practiced my middle and late game.
Assume it's always on:
The community recommends that you adopt that frame that it's always on. I should have assuemd it was on with HBhat until I was proven wrong. When I sarge sets and they haven't opened up yet, I shouldn't leave. I should frame that as them playing hard to get and I should keep plowing material until they tell me to leave or they "go to the washroom" or "go dance."
On Confidence:
Working out has definately given me more confidence. I think I've only lost 10-15 lbs, but I feel great. My face looks thinner, my clothes are fitting better, and I can see that I've developed some muscles. I just need to get serious and drop the 30-40 lbs of fat that's hiding my abs. That's not as important as practicing my game, though. I think I'm at the point where I feel as confident with my looks as I'll feel until I'm at my ideal weight. The truth is if I want to become a PUA, continual work on my game will benefit me more than getting to my ideal weight. Sure, being thin and having great muscle definition is going to make things easier, but the opposite is not true. I've been there. If I got into ridiculously great shape and had no game, I'd still get no girls. If I stayed at my weight or got fatter, but developed PUA level game, I'd pull girls nonstop.
The more I think about last night, the more I realize how much self-limiting beliefs are holding me back. HBhat was giving me a bunch of IOI's so I should have run regular game on her. I should have isolated her from the group, which would have been easy, and then run comfort routines (like the questions game and the cube) while doing kino escalation. I remember that she said two or three times that there was something different about me than the other guys that were trying to sarge her friends. In my bad frame, I thought she was saying that I was falling into the friend zone which is usually what happens. I know this was different. She had shit-tested me and I had passed. After she realized I was going to easily be impressed like AFC's, she started to get insecure and kept asking if she looked her age. I realized that I had to give a little her, so I said she looked nice. When I took her hat off, though, I should have ran my hand through her hair. I also could have touched her face and looked deeply into her eyes and told her that she looked good.
The most important hint that I believed I missed was when she brought up cheating. She said that the large girl was the faithful one. She said her friend's husband had cheated. She even pointed out how the blonde wasn't wearing her wedding ring, but the larger girl was. The community would say that she had let me know that she was married so I'd know what to expect, but she probably was more than willing to sleep with me if I ran good game. The only reason I didn't is that I immediately figured it would take more game that I had. That's a poor excuse. Even if I would have messed up, it would have helped me a ton if I could have isolated her and practiced my middle and late game.
Assume it's always on:
The community recommends that you adopt that frame that it's always on. I should have assuemd it was on with HBhat until I was proven wrong. When I sarge sets and they haven't opened up yet, I shouldn't leave. I should frame that as them playing hard to get and I should keep plowing material until they tell me to leave or they "go to the washroom" or "go dance."
On Confidence:
Working out has definately given me more confidence. I think I've only lost 10-15 lbs, but I feel great. My face looks thinner, my clothes are fitting better, and I can see that I've developed some muscles. I just need to get serious and drop the 30-40 lbs of fat that's hiding my abs. That's not as important as practicing my game, though. I think I'm at the point where I feel as confident with my looks as I'll feel until I'm at my ideal weight. The truth is if I want to become a PUA, continual work on my game will benefit me more than getting to my ideal weight. Sure, being thin and having great muscle definition is going to make things easier, but the opposite is not true. I've been there. If I got into ridiculously great shape and had no game, I'd still get no girls. If I stayed at my weight or got fatter, but developed PUA level game, I'd pull girls nonstop.
