Sunday, April 30, 2006
Travel Channel Open Casting: No Nervousness
Beata asked me to go to this open casting call for a new Travel Channel show based on the book, "1001 Places to See Before You Die." The show is casting for a couple to travel around the world for four months straight to film the show. I was surprised that I was not nervous at all. Beata, on the other hand, said she was really nervous. I knew going in that the chances of actually getting picked were small, so why sweat it? I figured we'd just give it our best shot and hope we get lucky. Being nervous only hurts your chances, so why do it? Of course, such rationalizations wouldn't have calmed me in the past, but my recent transformations made this so much easier. As I've said in previous blogs, I'll detail these "recent transformations" at a future date. I'm just not ready to link my other blog to my myspace account
In closing, I'll just say that we did pretty well. Beata and I were both able to make the screeners laugh and we gave good answers to the questions they asked us. It really helped Beata that I got her thinking about her answer to "Why should we pick you over all the other people?" That was an obvious question that she actually wasn't prepared for when I told her to expect it.
Sarging Lessons:
I've been great about not avoiding approaches but I learned that I still do have an approach anxiety sticking point. I fear no lone wolves and I'm comfortable with two sets (well, I can run them but everyone in the community says you need a quality wing to close them properly). I went to Alumni Club tonight and I was apprehensive about approaching the big sets (4 sets and larger). I just don't feel that my game is there yet, but next time I go to the bar, I just have to try to open them. Facing the difficult situation is the only way to get better at it. The community says that if you're working without a wing, you either need to open lone wolves, or the large sets. Two sets are the worst for when you're working solo.
Interesting two-set experience:
I got the two set lesson reinforced today, though I think I was just a few mistakes short of running this set well. I opened a two set. One was a blonde HB6.5, and the other was a brunette HB8. (I don't usually care too much about the ratings as it's all relevant, aside from ridiculously hot girls of course, but the point is that the brunette was significantly better looking than the blonde). For the first three minutes, I ran the set well and I had both girls interested in the conversation. The brunette was having a problem hearing me so I just engaged the blonde. The brunette sat there bored and let me talk to her friend until a song came up and she pulled one of these "Let's go dance moves." I knew I had messed up b/c I saw her getting bored and didn't do anything about it. In the future, I know I need to show her some attention when I notice her getting bored, or I need to use a "lock-in prop" as Mystery suggests.
I was getting IOI's from the blonde. About a minute before the brunette CB'ed me, the blonde had asked my name. I know when this is an IOI (one factor is if it comes later in the set. If a girl asks you your name at the beginning, she's likely just being polite). The blonde also engaged me when I let the set stall, which is another IOI. The eye contact was good too.
On a sidenote, I saw some AFC's looking at the brunette was I was engaging the blonde. I knew what he was thinking. He saw that he had an opportunity to open her, but he couldn't get enough stones to do so. I tried to help him by talking to him after they left me, but he was embarrassed and didn't want to talk to me.
Interestingly enough, I get an opportunity to open this set again. I see some AFC talking to them when I walk around the bar a few minutes later. I know he's not with them as I just talked to them. I didn't want to show too much interest by opening them immediately, so I got a Diet Coke and came back. The AFC was talking to the blonde so I talked to the brunette. I find out she's a nurse, which is weird since my mom's a nurse. This girl worked in ICU and it's just weird for me to picture her working. I was so used to meeting my mom's nurse friends when I was younger, and they were always older than me. This brunette was younger than me and this is like the first nurse I've met that's been younger than me. It kind of makes me feel old, but not really as I'm not too old to sarge her. We talk about the casting call and talk about travel. I know I'm doing fine with my sarge as she's facing me. She's filling in the gaps in the conversation, and she's positioned herself close to me so we could hear each other through the noise.
Suddenly, I the blonde grabs the brunette's hand. I look over and can tell that the AFC busted himself out. I was doing well with the brunette. I knew the brunette didn't eye code the blonde to bust me out as the brunette was maintaining eye contact. I also saw that the blonde had this "help me" look. The AFC was either really boring or was creeping her out. The brunette reluctantly had to go with her friend to "get a drink" but I could tell she was sad to leave me. She was slow to move with her friend. I just said, "I know what's going on." If I remember correctly (I sometimes still have a hard time believing that I'm not an AFC so I wonder if I actually heard this), but I believe she made a comment suggesting that I find them later.
Just as this happened, I was mad at the AFC for having no game and losing his target. Now that I've had some time to think about it, I recognized that I could have used his crash and burn to demonstrate my value. When I saw her giving that help me look, I should have whispered to the brunette, "Hey, I see that guy's creeping out your friend. I'll get rid of him." Then I could have talk to the blonde, who already knew I was cool, and reassure her that I was getting rid of the guy. Now, I could have run some magic trick and closed the guy out with body language. I think the best move would have been to put my arms around both the girls, and position my back to the AFC. He'd have to give up with that move as it would be so deflating to him. Then, the girls would have really been into me, because I would have shown an understanding of girl code and social dynamics, and I would have saved the blonde from a lame ass AFC.
Another move would have been to find them again. Instead of doing this, I talked to Seamas on the phone for like fifteen minutes and I couldn't find the girls after I was done. Both girls had given me IOI's, so I could have tried to number close them both. I don't know if I could have picked them up, but at the very least, I could have told them that I wanted to make them "friends." If I couldn't run standard game, I could have at least used them as pivots.
Other sarges:
I sarged a few other sets today. In the past, I would have felt a need to write out a detailed report of each for myself, but now I'm opening so many sets that I don't think it's necessary. I opened two older Polish girls who ended up telling me that their husbands were sitting on chairs near me. I looked over and saw them looking at me. I liked to show that I'm just a fun outgoing party guy, so I walked over and started talking to them. I DHVed to the guy by greeting him in Polish. I found out he didn't like the music here. I dropped the names of two Polish clubs, Accent Cafe and Udinca (no idea how it's spelled but that's how it sounds). I chatted with the guy for a bit and then shook his hand and left.
The only other set that really sticks out was a redhead at Barnes and Noble's. I had a hard time find a set in there. I saw a bunch of Arab women. I have nothing against them, but when they are wearing the hijab, I figure my chances a slim, plus these girls weren't that good looking. I came upon a redhead organizing the shelves in the romance novel section, of all places. I did the usual "female opinion tent opener" and she surprised me by saying that she'd consider dating a guy in a tent. That always feels like a curve ball as I'd say <3% style="font-weight: bold;">Summary of lessons:
-I need to keep going to the clubs, as I noticed my club wasn't as good since I hadn't gone to the club in almost two weeks. I took longer to warm up tonight. I don't like the club as much, but I have to remember what TD said. He said going the club will improve your game way faster than day game. I'll make sure I go to the club at least twice a week.
-I need to open the larger sets so I don't suffer the two-set problem. I don't need to entertain the whole set for a long period of time. I just need to establish some value with some of the set, and then I can try to isolate my target. That's the standard game plan for running solo at the club, and I need to work on that.
-I need to try to through in more attraction material instead of jumping straight into comfort.
-I need to have confidence in my sarges. I messed up the B&N set by dropping an AFC line that showed insecurity. If I would have been cool, I could have run some more material and possibly closed that girl.
-I'm making great progress. Now that I'm having minimal approach anxiety, I'm getting more practice. From each sarge, I'm learning small things that I'm doing wrong. As I internalize more of these things, my game improves. Seamas's current problems with approach anxiety also helps reinforce how much I set myself back when I don't approach. He keep making rationalizations for not getting past the anxiety. For example, he says that he doesn't have a solid plan for attraction material. I told him that he need to just start opening. Even if he runs shit game, he'll learn just by making approaches. By making more approaches, he'll get more comfortable being in set, and he can slowly add more material. By not sarging at all, he's just increasing the amount of time it'll take for him to become a PUA or even an RAFC.
Beata asked me to go to this open casting call for a new Travel Channel show based on the book, "1001 Places to See Before You Die." The show is casting for a couple to travel around the world for four months straight to film the show. I was surprised that I was not nervous at all. Beata, on the other hand, said she was really nervous. I knew going in that the chances of actually getting picked were small, so why sweat it? I figured we'd just give it our best shot and hope we get lucky. Being nervous only hurts your chances, so why do it? Of course, such rationalizations wouldn't have calmed me in the past, but my recent transformations made this so much easier. As I've said in previous blogs, I'll detail these "recent transformations" at a future date. I'm just not ready to link my other blog to my myspace account
In closing, I'll just say that we did pretty well. Beata and I were both able to make the screeners laugh and we gave good answers to the questions they asked us. It really helped Beata that I got her thinking about her answer to "Why should we pick you over all the other people?" That was an obvious question that she actually wasn't prepared for when I told her to expect it.Sarging Lessons:
I've been great about not avoiding approaches but I learned that I still do have an approach anxiety sticking point. I fear no lone wolves and I'm comfortable with two sets (well, I can run them but everyone in the community says you need a quality wing to close them properly). I went to Alumni Club tonight and I was apprehensive about approaching the big sets (4 sets and larger). I just don't feel that my game is there yet, but next time I go to the bar, I just have to try to open them. Facing the difficult situation is the only way to get better at it. The community says that if you're working without a wing, you either need to open lone wolves, or the large sets. Two sets are the worst for when you're working solo.
Interesting two-set experience:
I got the two set lesson reinforced today, though I think I was just a few mistakes short of running this set well. I opened a two set. One was a blonde HB6.5, and the other was a brunette HB8. (I don't usually care too much about the ratings as it's all relevant, aside from ridiculously hot girls of course, but the point is that the brunette was significantly better looking than the blonde). For the first three minutes, I ran the set well and I had both girls interested in the conversation. The brunette was having a problem hearing me so I just engaged the blonde. The brunette sat there bored and let me talk to her friend until a song came up and she pulled one of these "Let's go dance moves." I knew I had messed up b/c I saw her getting bored and didn't do anything about it. In the future, I know I need to show her some attention when I notice her getting bored, or I need to use a "lock-in prop" as Mystery suggests.
I was getting IOI's from the blonde. About a minute before the brunette CB'ed me, the blonde had asked my name. I know when this is an IOI (one factor is if it comes later in the set. If a girl asks you your name at the beginning, she's likely just being polite). The blonde also engaged me when I let the set stall, which is another IOI. The eye contact was good too.
On a sidenote, I saw some AFC's looking at the brunette was I was engaging the blonde. I knew what he was thinking. He saw that he had an opportunity to open her, but he couldn't get enough stones to do so. I tried to help him by talking to him after they left me, but he was embarrassed and didn't want to talk to me.
Interestingly enough, I get an opportunity to open this set again. I see some AFC talking to them when I walk around the bar a few minutes later. I know he's not with them as I just talked to them. I didn't want to show too much interest by opening them immediately, so I got a Diet Coke and came back. The AFC was talking to the blonde so I talked to the brunette. I find out she's a nurse, which is weird since my mom's a nurse. This girl worked in ICU and it's just weird for me to picture her working. I was so used to meeting my mom's nurse friends when I was younger, and they were always older than me. This brunette was younger than me and this is like the first nurse I've met that's been younger than me. It kind of makes me feel old, but not really as I'm not too old to sarge her. We talk about the casting call and talk about travel. I know I'm doing fine with my sarge as she's facing me. She's filling in the gaps in the conversation, and she's positioned herself close to me so we could hear each other through the noise.
Suddenly, I the blonde grabs the brunette's hand. I look over and can tell that the AFC busted himself out. I was doing well with the brunette. I knew the brunette didn't eye code the blonde to bust me out as the brunette was maintaining eye contact. I also saw that the blonde had this "help me" look. The AFC was either really boring or was creeping her out. The brunette reluctantly had to go with her friend to "get a drink" but I could tell she was sad to leave me. She was slow to move with her friend. I just said, "I know what's going on." If I remember correctly (I sometimes still have a hard time believing that I'm not an AFC so I wonder if I actually heard this), but I believe she made a comment suggesting that I find them later.
Just as this happened, I was mad at the AFC for having no game and losing his target. Now that I've had some time to think about it, I recognized that I could have used his crash and burn to demonstrate my value. When I saw her giving that help me look, I should have whispered to the brunette, "Hey, I see that guy's creeping out your friend. I'll get rid of him." Then I could have talk to the blonde, who already knew I was cool, and reassure her that I was getting rid of the guy. Now, I could have run some magic trick and closed the guy out with body language. I think the best move would have been to put my arms around both the girls, and position my back to the AFC. He'd have to give up with that move as it would be so deflating to him. Then, the girls would have really been into me, because I would have shown an understanding of girl code and social dynamics, and I would have saved the blonde from a lame ass AFC.
Another move would have been to find them again. Instead of doing this, I talked to Seamas on the phone for like fifteen minutes and I couldn't find the girls after I was done. Both girls had given me IOI's, so I could have tried to number close them both. I don't know if I could have picked them up, but at the very least, I could have told them that I wanted to make them "friends." If I couldn't run standard game, I could have at least used them as pivots.
Other sarges:
I sarged a few other sets today. In the past, I would have felt a need to write out a detailed report of each for myself, but now I'm opening so many sets that I don't think it's necessary. I opened two older Polish girls who ended up telling me that their husbands were sitting on chairs near me. I looked over and saw them looking at me. I liked to show that I'm just a fun outgoing party guy, so I walked over and started talking to them. I DHVed to the guy by greeting him in Polish. I found out he didn't like the music here. I dropped the names of two Polish clubs, Accent Cafe and Udinca (no idea how it's spelled but that's how it sounds). I chatted with the guy for a bit and then shook his hand and left.
The only other set that really sticks out was a redhead at Barnes and Noble's. I had a hard time find a set in there. I saw a bunch of Arab women. I have nothing against them, but when they are wearing the hijab, I figure my chances a slim, plus these girls weren't that good looking. I came upon a redhead organizing the shelves in the romance novel section, of all places. I did the usual "female opinion tent opener" and she surprised me by saying that she'd consider dating a guy in a tent. That always feels like a curve ball as I'd say <3% style="font-weight: bold;">Summary of lessons:
-I need to keep going to the clubs, as I noticed my club wasn't as good since I hadn't gone to the club in almost two weeks. I took longer to warm up tonight. I don't like the club as much, but I have to remember what TD said. He said going the club will improve your game way faster than day game. I'll make sure I go to the club at least twice a week.
-I need to open the larger sets so I don't suffer the two-set problem. I don't need to entertain the whole set for a long period of time. I just need to establish some value with some of the set, and then I can try to isolate my target. That's the standard game plan for running solo at the club, and I need to work on that.
-I need to try to through in more attraction material instead of jumping straight into comfort.
-I need to have confidence in my sarges. I messed up the B&N set by dropping an AFC line that showed insecurity. If I would have been cool, I could have run some more material and possibly closed that girl.
-I'm making great progress. Now that I'm having minimal approach anxiety, I'm getting more practice. From each sarge, I'm learning small things that I'm doing wrong. As I internalize more of these things, my game improves. Seamas's current problems with approach anxiety also helps reinforce how much I set myself back when I don't approach. He keep making rationalizations for not getting past the anxiety. For example, he says that he doesn't have a solid plan for attraction material. I told him that he need to just start opening. Even if he runs shit game, he'll learn just by making approaches. By making more approaches, he'll get more comfortable being in set, and he can slowly add more material. By not sarging at all, he's just increasing the amount of time it'll take for him to become a PUA or even an RAFC.
