Sunday, May 07, 2006
Am I afraid of success?
Sunday, I start to get back on the right path. I haven't sarged since Wednesday. Today was the first day that I actually felt I was back to my old self, but I just didn't feel like going out to the bars. I guess I get sick of going sarging alone. I hung out with my friends. We saw MI:3, which was good. I could have sarged a lone wolf while waiting for the movie to start, but I make up an excuse not to do so. After the movie, I had planned on going to the bar, but I ended up just playing video games with the guys until about 1:00AM. If I'm going to go to the bar, the days to do it are Saturday and Friday. I've always had better success those days b/c there are more normal, non party girls there. I need to force myself to always go on at least one of those nights, and preferable both.
Bad night for FL wings:
I have two buddies in FL that I wish I could wing with right now. They told me a depressing story about going to the bar and not opening any sets. Their goal was to sarge, and only one guy opened any sets. I believe he opened two or three, got busted out, and then they just sat there the rest of the night. I have to keep reminding myself that I do pretty well at the bar solo. I always force myself to go around and open sets. I almost always set up some sort of base, and I've been getting progressively better at that. I had an all girl base three weeks ago, and Tuesday I had a 1 guy/2 girl base. I'm sure I can have a guy or guy set base every time I go out. As I get better, I'll start creating female pivot bases which will really help me out with the social proof. I sometime forget that it's a huge deal to do what I can do easily. In my AFC days, I never would have believed I'd someday be able to do that. I have a lot of problems with my game, but it seems that I was able to jump into the solo bar sarging pretty easily.
Fear of success:
I think I have this psychological block that makes me fear success. I noticed that it happens in all aspects of my life. I can see that I'm getting close to the minimum skill level that will start getting me regular action. I should be able to start closing 7's more often. Perhaps, I'm afraid to let myself succeed as I'm so used to just staying in stagnation or failure. I did the same thing in my poker career. Anytime I get near to the point where I no longer had a chance of failure, I'd do something stupid to jeopardize it. I'd go try to play higher limits and get busted up. When I stopped doing that, I'd just not work for a few months so I could burn through my bank roll. Heck, I'm still one paper from finishing my degree yet I decided to avoid success there too. I think it's time I really acknowledged that I have this problem and it's time for me to take steps to get past it.
Sunday, I start to get back on the right path. I haven't sarged since Wednesday. Today was the first day that I actually felt I was back to my old self, but I just didn't feel like going out to the bars. I guess I get sick of going sarging alone. I hung out with my friends. We saw MI:3, which was good. I could have sarged a lone wolf while waiting for the movie to start, but I make up an excuse not to do so. After the movie, I had planned on going to the bar, but I ended up just playing video games with the guys until about 1:00AM. If I'm going to go to the bar, the days to do it are Saturday and Friday. I've always had better success those days b/c there are more normal, non party girls there. I need to force myself to always go on at least one of those nights, and preferable both.
Bad night for FL wings:
I have two buddies in FL that I wish I could wing with right now. They told me a depressing story about going to the bar and not opening any sets. Their goal was to sarge, and only one guy opened any sets. I believe he opened two or three, got busted out, and then they just sat there the rest of the night. I have to keep reminding myself that I do pretty well at the bar solo. I always force myself to go around and open sets. I almost always set up some sort of base, and I've been getting progressively better at that. I had an all girl base three weeks ago, and Tuesday I had a 1 guy/2 girl base. I'm sure I can have a guy or guy set base every time I go out. As I get better, I'll start creating female pivot bases which will really help me out with the social proof. I sometime forget that it's a huge deal to do what I can do easily. In my AFC days, I never would have believed I'd someday be able to do that. I have a lot of problems with my game, but it seems that I was able to jump into the solo bar sarging pretty easily.
Fear of success:
I think I have this psychological block that makes me fear success. I noticed that it happens in all aspects of my life. I can see that I'm getting close to the minimum skill level that will start getting me regular action. I should be able to start closing 7's more often. Perhaps, I'm afraid to let myself succeed as I'm so used to just staying in stagnation or failure. I did the same thing in my poker career. Anytime I get near to the point where I no longer had a chance of failure, I'd do something stupid to jeopardize it. I'd go try to play higher limits and get busted up. When I stopped doing that, I'd just not work for a few months so I could burn through my bank roll. Heck, I'm still one paper from finishing my degree yet I decided to avoid success there too. I think it's time I really acknowledged that I have this problem and it's time for me to take steps to get past it.
