Friday, June 16, 2006
One step toward AFCness, two steps towards PUAdom
Acting like an AFC:
Sometimes, in frustration, we all slip. I met this cool girl online (yes, I know...). Community guys would say I've had one-itis with her for awhile. I felt there was something special about her: her outlook on life and the way she felt about certain things. I really wanted to meet her and two times I thought it was going to happen. I've always realized that I only know her online persona, but I figured if I was so draw to that persona, then maybe I find that there would also be a spark when we met in person. For whatever reason, she flaked those two times. Like an AFC, I kept hinting at future meetings even though I should have realized that it wasn't going to happen. Finally, yesterday, I just decided to ask firmly if we were ever going to meet or not. Like an AFC, I basically told her what I've written here. Not surprising, I got no response, but that made me feel way better. I know felt like I had a final answer. She doesn't want to meet, so I can finally just focus on my mains goals.
More setbacks:
I did my usual routine. I went to Dick's Sporting Goods and punched the heavy bags for fun. I then went to Starbuck's but didn't see any sets inside. I guess summertime is a slow time for that Starbuck's. In the spring and winter time, I'd always find at least one set there. As I was ready to walk out, I saw two, two-sets outside. On left by the time I got done putting splenda in my Unsweetened Passion Iced Tea. I decided to open this other set. The brunette was on the phone, so I ran the tent opener on the blonde friend. When I finished it, she gave me this look indicating that she thought I was weird. The friend had finished the conversation as I was ended the opener. She gave me an annoyed look too. The blonde didn't say anything, and then five seconds later, the brunette looks at her friend and says, "Let's go." Kaboom!
Most guys would have said something rude there, but I just said, "Well, [to the question, would you date a guy that lives in a tent] I guess your answer is no. Please meeting both of you." Getting ignored sucks. Afterwards, I debated whether getting ignored was worse than getting completely hostile respond (e.g. Fuck off). It's a close call. I think getting ignored might be worse because in that case, the set acts like you don't even exist.
Analysis:
I ran the opener like I always do. There was something with these girls. There were attractive, but I'm not as impressed anymore for two reasons. First, I open so many sets that I really am not intimidated by looks. Second, I was just in NYC and I saw and talk to hotter girls. Since I've been back, I still haven't seen any girls that were of the same caliber as those Manhattan girls I saw last week .
Instead of doing my eject, I should have gone the extra 20% (as Mystery says). I now realize what the correct move would have been. When I got ingored, I should have dropped the neg, "Wow, you two don't get out much. When someone asks you a question, it's polite to give them some sort of answer." The chances are slim that this could turn them around, but it would have been a good response. The only other thing I could have done differently was to drop a neg. Even though I wasn't intimidated by their looks, they probably did have the hot girl shield as they were good looking for the Chicago suburb area.
Number close:
I go through all the pain of above, but it all turns around in less than 10 minutes after the big bust out. When I get a really negative response, I feel the need to sarge another set. I guess part of me wants to show that set that they weren't anything special. They think that I opened them b/c I was more interested in them than any of the other sets around. I show them by opening another set immediately that sets are interchangable for me. Also, I just feel better going directly into a new set b/c I show myself that rejection doesn't matter. I open some blonde girl with some lame question. I ask when the stuff is closing and what bars she recommends.
I call my buddy immediately after all this and I get some relief from that as well. While I was one the phone, I spotted a lone wolf who was reading a book. I made a mental note that I wanted to open her when I got off the phone. I got of the phone and walked by towards my car, which lead me past her. I walked up to her, and ran my opener. I had the right body language and everything. The conversation flowed smoothly into other topics. I found out she likes travel and I ended up talking about my various adventures to Singapore and Amsterdam. I talked about why I want to visit Iran and North Korea.
Notable points in the sarge:
-This was the first sarge where Mystery's multiple thread theory actually happened. The conversation was so interesting that I naturally branched off into several topic threads before I could complete an existing thread. Mystery says that creates the illusion of you actually knowing the person b/c you usually only have conversation with multiple thread with people you already know.
-When running a sarge, you start to appear to be of lower value if you continue to stand while the target(s) is sitting. I knew I had to sit down so as I was talking, I started to sit down. The only thing I didn't like is that I asked her if it was all right to sit down. She said it was, but I should have just sat down as I was talking and not ask permission. It would be more alpha (and thus be a better sarge) if I just sat down more naturally.
-I thought I was busted out (and I maybe well have been if I don't get a day2 out of this, but that remains to be seen) when she said, at one point, "I don't want to be rude, but I really did come her to read this book and I'd like to get some reading done." I felt that things were going well up to this point, so I just went into a number close . I have some good number closes memorized, but I just blurted out, "Okay, cool. I actually have to meet up with a friend (true). We should up again and have coffee or something."
HB: I have boyfriend. (Girls say this stuff a lot. If they drop it early, it means you are showing too much interest, or the girl assumes you're hitting on her. When I first started out, I used to get this a lot, but it's no coincidence that as I've gotten better, I get it less. I also blow the comment right out of the water with a witty comeback, "Wow, I just met you and you're already telling me your problems," or I ignore her as if she'd said, "My favorite color is blue." In the closing stage, a girl might tell you she has a boyfriend b/c she's letting you know that she's not available for a traditional dating relationship. She also might be blowing you off. It depends. This is just text book pickup knowledge)
Me: (Using my usual response to this line at the closing stage. I got it from fastseduction.com.) Is he not open to you meeting new people. (Another good line might be, "Cool, is he coming along?")
HB: Actually, we're fighting right now.
Me: Ah. Let's just hang out and meet for coffee. We've had a very interesting conversation and I like to her about the rest of your travels. Besides, I'm not really looking for anyone right now anyway.
HB: I haven't really travelled anywhere else (she's qualifying herself) Oh. You just want to hang out...Okay.
I ask her for her name and phone number. As we're getting that done, she asks me about my job. I was so used to breaking rapport with the cigarette light repair man line that I almost did it here. I fumbled, which was bad, but I ended up saying, "Would you believe me if you said I'm cigarette light repair me?"
HB: Are you?
Me: Naw. I just joke around and tell people that, and some people believe it. They say, "Wow, really? I've never heard of that." Actually, my real job sounds unbelievable too. I play poker for a living.
HB: (typical response) I hear a lot of people are doing that now. Do you really make money doing that?
Me: Yeah, I've been doing it for awhile now. Way before this Travel Channel, World Poker Tour stuff.
(I ask her what hours she works so I get an idea of when we might be able to have a Day2 and she tells me she's a teacher, so she's off for the summer.)
I close the set by shaking her hand. Of course, I hold it a little longer that most people would, and I of course maintain strong eye contact.
Gameplan:
This woman really is interesting. It's been awhile since I've actually felt interested in a sarge. A lot of times, I'm just blurting out game and I find that I'm not really interested in the person or the conversation. (Still, the community says to keep plodding along for practice). I'm hoping that she will show up for a Day2, of course. I'll probably call tomorrow. I'm busy this weekend anyway, but I need to try to set up a Day2 for next week, before I go out of town. If I get her voice mail (which is probable), I'll tell her I'll call her on Sunday.
Acting like an AFC:
Sometimes, in frustration, we all slip. I met this cool girl online (yes, I know...). Community guys would say I've had one-itis with her for awhile. I felt there was something special about her: her outlook on life and the way she felt about certain things. I really wanted to meet her and two times I thought it was going to happen. I've always realized that I only know her online persona, but I figured if I was so draw to that persona, then maybe I find that there would also be a spark when we met in person. For whatever reason, she flaked those two times. Like an AFC, I kept hinting at future meetings even though I should have realized that it wasn't going to happen. Finally, yesterday, I just decided to ask firmly if we were ever going to meet or not. Like an AFC, I basically told her what I've written here. Not surprising, I got no response, but that made me feel way better. I know felt like I had a final answer. She doesn't want to meet, so I can finally just focus on my mains goals.
More setbacks:
I did my usual routine. I went to Dick's Sporting Goods and punched the heavy bags for fun. I then went to Starbuck's but didn't see any sets inside. I guess summertime is a slow time for that Starbuck's. In the spring and winter time, I'd always find at least one set there. As I was ready to walk out, I saw two, two-sets outside. On left by the time I got done putting splenda in my Unsweetened Passion Iced Tea. I decided to open this other set. The brunette was on the phone, so I ran the tent opener on the blonde friend. When I finished it, she gave me this look indicating that she thought I was weird. The friend had finished the conversation as I was ended the opener. She gave me an annoyed look too. The blonde didn't say anything, and then five seconds later, the brunette looks at her friend and says, "Let's go." Kaboom!
Most guys would have said something rude there, but I just said, "Well, [to the question, would you date a guy that lives in a tent] I guess your answer is no. Please meeting both of you." Getting ignored sucks. Afterwards, I debated whether getting ignored was worse than getting completely hostile respond (e.g. Fuck off). It's a close call. I think getting ignored might be worse because in that case, the set acts like you don't even exist.
Analysis:
I ran the opener like I always do. There was something with these girls. There were attractive, but I'm not as impressed anymore for two reasons. First, I open so many sets that I really am not intimidated by looks. Second, I was just in NYC and I saw and talk to hotter girls. Since I've been back, I still haven't seen any girls that were of the same caliber as those Manhattan girls I saw last week .
Instead of doing my eject, I should have gone the extra 20% (as Mystery says). I now realize what the correct move would have been. When I got ingored, I should have dropped the neg, "Wow, you two don't get out much. When someone asks you a question, it's polite to give them some sort of answer." The chances are slim that this could turn them around, but it would have been a good response. The only other thing I could have done differently was to drop a neg. Even though I wasn't intimidated by their looks, they probably did have the hot girl shield as they were good looking for the Chicago suburb area.
Number close:
I go through all the pain of above, but it all turns around in less than 10 minutes after the big bust out. When I get a really negative response, I feel the need to sarge another set. I guess part of me wants to show that set that they weren't anything special. They think that I opened them b/c I was more interested in them than any of the other sets around. I show them by opening another set immediately that sets are interchangable for me. Also, I just feel better going directly into a new set b/c I show myself that rejection doesn't matter. I open some blonde girl with some lame question. I ask when the stuff is closing and what bars she recommends.
I call my buddy immediately after all this and I get some relief from that as well. While I was one the phone, I spotted a lone wolf who was reading a book. I made a mental note that I wanted to open her when I got off the phone. I got of the phone and walked by towards my car, which lead me past her. I walked up to her, and ran my opener. I had the right body language and everything. The conversation flowed smoothly into other topics. I found out she likes travel and I ended up talking about my various adventures to Singapore and Amsterdam. I talked about why I want to visit Iran and North Korea.
Notable points in the sarge:
-This was the first sarge where Mystery's multiple thread theory actually happened. The conversation was so interesting that I naturally branched off into several topic threads before I could complete an existing thread. Mystery says that creates the illusion of you actually knowing the person b/c you usually only have conversation with multiple thread with people you already know.
-When running a sarge, you start to appear to be of lower value if you continue to stand while the target(s) is sitting. I knew I had to sit down so as I was talking, I started to sit down. The only thing I didn't like is that I asked her if it was all right to sit down. She said it was, but I should have just sat down as I was talking and not ask permission. It would be more alpha (and thus be a better sarge) if I just sat down more naturally.
-I thought I was busted out (and I maybe well have been if I don't get a day2 out of this, but that remains to be seen) when she said, at one point, "I don't want to be rude, but I really did come her to read this book and I'd like to get some reading done." I felt that things were going well up to this point, so I just went into a number close . I have some good number closes memorized, but I just blurted out, "Okay, cool. I actually have to meet up with a friend (true). We should up again and have coffee or something."
HB: I have boyfriend. (Girls say this stuff a lot. If they drop it early, it means you are showing too much interest, or the girl assumes you're hitting on her. When I first started out, I used to get this a lot, but it's no coincidence that as I've gotten better, I get it less. I also blow the comment right out of the water with a witty comeback, "Wow, I just met you and you're already telling me your problems," or I ignore her as if she'd said, "My favorite color is blue." In the closing stage, a girl might tell you she has a boyfriend b/c she's letting you know that she's not available for a traditional dating relationship. She also might be blowing you off. It depends. This is just text book pickup knowledge)
Me: (Using my usual response to this line at the closing stage. I got it from fastseduction.com.) Is he not open to you meeting new people. (Another good line might be, "Cool, is he coming along?")
HB: Actually, we're fighting right now.
Me: Ah. Let's just hang out and meet for coffee. We've had a very interesting conversation and I like to her about the rest of your travels. Besides, I'm not really looking for anyone right now anyway.
HB: I haven't really travelled anywhere else (she's qualifying herself) Oh. You just want to hang out...Okay.
I ask her for her name and phone number. As we're getting that done, she asks me about my job. I was so used to breaking rapport with the cigarette light repair man line that I almost did it here. I fumbled, which was bad, but I ended up saying, "Would you believe me if you said I'm cigarette light repair me?"
HB: Are you?
Me: Naw. I just joke around and tell people that, and some people believe it. They say, "Wow, really? I've never heard of that." Actually, my real job sounds unbelievable too. I play poker for a living.
HB: (typical response) I hear a lot of people are doing that now. Do you really make money doing that?
Me: Yeah, I've been doing it for awhile now. Way before this Travel Channel, World Poker Tour stuff.
(I ask her what hours she works so I get an idea of when we might be able to have a Day2 and she tells me she's a teacher, so she's off for the summer.)
I close the set by shaking her hand. Of course, I hold it a little longer that most people would, and I of course maintain strong eye contact.
Gameplan:
This woman really is interesting. It's been awhile since I've actually felt interested in a sarge. A lot of times, I'm just blurting out game and I find that I'm not really interested in the person or the conversation. (Still, the community says to keep plodding along for practice). I'm hoping that she will show up for a Day2, of course. I'll probably call tomorrow. I'm busy this weekend anyway, but I need to try to set up a Day2 for next week, before I go out of town. If I get her voice mail (which is probable), I'll tell her I'll call her on Sunday.
